


Operation Cobra Part Two

by Lotto95



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon-diverge, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Slow Burn, Slowest of the slow burns, hints of domestic abuse, season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-21 02:21:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 129,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11934306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotto95/pseuds/Lotto95
Summary: With a threat of a hooded figure and an Evil Queen stalking around town, you would think Emma Swan would concentrate on something other than her wedding day. Instead, she seems content to let destiny take its course, no matter the cost.That would be all well and good, except for a stubborn, yet slightly off-balance mayor who refuses to let that happen. Which leaves them both with the unanswered question;Why is Emma Swan so unwilling to fight?To answer that, both women must come to accept, that perhaps darkness isn’t something we can live without.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [napfreak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/napfreak/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Operation Cobra: Part II [Art]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11930733) by [napfreak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/napfreak/pseuds/napfreak). 



> Firstly, a huge thank you to the Supernova team for giving me the motivation and courage to write this fic. If not for them, this fic would be half completed and collecting dust. 
> 
> Secondly, a massive thank you to Napfreak for creating the most beautiful, stunning cover art. If you haven't yet, please go and check it out and give lots of love, kudos and comments! It truly is incredible. 
> 
> I realise the title might be a little misleading, but it's not a sequel!! 
> 
> Set in season 6, it diverges sometime after the wish realm. No black fairy/Gideon/shady Hood. It does contain some Emma/Hook and he does stick around for a little while longer than I intended. But he does leave...eventually! It really is slowest of the slow burns, but I do promise a happy ending ;D 
> 
> It does contain some minor violence. Not much, but I used the warning just incase! There's some mild language throughout too and a little bit of domestic/emotional abuse. 
> 
> The writers left Emma a bit of a mess, so it's a lot angstier than I thought...but it does get better! I labaled the first chapter as the prologue, because the tone doesn't fit with the rest of the fic. 
> 
> It turned into a bit of a monster. Waaay longer than planned. I've never written anything this long before and it has produced more than one freak out!! It is unbeta'd, so I apologise in advance for any errors I may have overlooked. 
> 
> Anyway...I do hope you enjoy!

It had become easier to lean into Hook’s side and stay quiet. If she complied it made everyone happy and if the people she loved were happy, then so was she. It was all that mattered, because if the visions were to become a reality, her happiness should be at the bottom of the pile, anyway.

“Perhaps we could have it at Granny’s,” Snow said, smiling with a twinkle in her eyes, “we’ve had so many important moments there, why not add this one too?”

Emma smiled at her mother, whilst everyone turned to face her with a frown. They had crammed into the kitchen at her parent’s loft, with the intention of deciding where their wedding should take place. It seemed to be becoming more about everyone else than it did about them. Or more to the point, about Hook, because this wedding was never about her to begin with.

David squeezed Snow’s shoulders from behind, “I don’t know, Granny’s isn’t really fit for a princess. Perhaps we could use town hall.” Emma once again smiled at the princess comment, because David meant well. His hopes and dreams about raising a princess had been shattered due to their separation. It felt right to give him something back.

“Town hall?” Hook looked between Emma’s parents as if they had gone mad, “it’s hardly ideal for a wedding, it’s a bit…plain, don’t you think?” With one hand already on his chest, Emma glanced up to him and smiled yet again, to which she received a peck on the lips. One which would’ve been more than a peck on the lips if she hadn’t gently pushed his chest and tipped her head to where her son was sat, perched on a stool.

“Maybe we could ask mom.” He shrugged as if that were an obvious solution. Emma’s stomach clenched, she opened her mouth, but then shut it just as quickly. Her absence was noticeable, only if she thought hard enough about it.

“You mean at the mansion?” Snow looked to her grandson and tipped her head, considering the thought.

“No, I…I wouldn’t want to. It’s Regina’s home. I wouldn’t want to put her on the spot.” Or see eyes which flicker as if something had shattered inside. The engagement had been bad enough, she wouldn’t want memories of her wedding etched into the place Regina had to sleep at night.

“I agree with the lass.” Hook pulled her closer. Emma went back to smiling and stayed silent. “Why don’t we have it on the jolly roger? It has enough room for everyone and it’s the perfect place to start our life together.”

The room hummed in response, perhaps it wasn’t the best of ideas, but if it was what Hook wanted, then she wasn’t about to disagree. Getting into a fight she had no idea how to win was far too much hassle. “I love you,” she said, voice almost hoarse, but Snow ‘awed’ and clasped both hands over her heart and if seeing her mother proud wasn’t enough, Emma didn’t know what would be.

“Love you too, Swan.” He was back to kissing her, not that she particularly cared for it. She supposed it wasn’t bad, but it never seemed to elicit the same responses within her that it did in her fiancé…or any man she had been with. Emma had learnt to moan and hum at the right times, drawing it out for long enough for him to enjoy. There was a part of her which had hoped it would alter over time, but she simply guessed it was like this for everyone.

She pulled away, not looking to any other member of her family as tingles ran up her left arm.

“Just need to use the bathroom.” One more peck before she headed to the bathroom, smile faltering as soon as she had turned around.

The door opened and slammed shut. Her body slumped against it. The vision hit in an instant, a hooded figure swirling in front of her eyes, with a sword which would one day take her life. It had never advanced for her to see who was under the hood.

Her left arm hung like a dead weight as the vision came to an end. Her breathing shallowed and the moment it had fully passed and the trembles which had ran through her body faded, she let her head drop to the door was a slight bang. Wincing, she hoped no one had heard.

It would be some time before the dizziness faded and her chest would loosen. Slowly, she made her way to the sink and ran the water to buy a few more seconds. She gulped in air as if it were in short supply, a headache piercing right between her eyes. The energy continued to drain out of her, drop by drop and Emma could feel it leaving her with each vision she had to endure.

As usual, she suffered in silence, not wanting to worry her family more than they already were. They had become aware of the visions, but it didn’t mean Emma had to inform them of their growing consistency.

Hands gripped onto the edge of the sink and she glared back at herself in the mirror.

“You’re the saviour,” she said, turned off the water, perfected her smile then pushed any lasting effects of the vision to the back of her mind.

Then she returned to her family as if nothing had happened at all.

***

The arm draped over her shoulder was too heavy, coupled with how she had been trapped between his body and the wall, Emma felt a wave of initial panic set in. One she pushed out with a deep breath as she relaxed a head onto his shoulder. They’d decided on a quiet lunch at granny’s and although Emma was glad to be out of the house and around other people, he had directed her to the far booth.

“What can I get you both?” Granny peered over her glasses, flipped open her notebook and waited. Emma opened her mouth to order, when Hook dug his fingers into her shoulder. She closed her mouth and let him take the lead.

“I’ll have an omelette with a side of fries and a grilled cheese for the fiancé.” He tugged her closer and she smiled at granny and nodded as if to confirm. She hadn’t needed to; Granny had already scribbled down the order. Emma’s mouth opened then shut when Granny turned around. She didn’t need a milkshake anyway.

Not knowing what else to do, Emma reached her head up to press their lips together. “You know me so well,” she said and pulled back, Hook looking to her with a dazzling smile. She leant her head back down and sighed, cuddling into his warmth. It wasn’t like she had much of a choice either way.

“Ah,” Hook said, after he had spotted Emma’s parents entering the diner, “there goes our Saturday alone.”

Emma flinched. She’d promised him they would spend the weekend together. The weekend beforehand had been Henry’s weekend, same as the following. The weekends in between were supposed to be for the two of them to have some alone time.

“I’ll make it up to you.” She pressed their lips together again and pulled back as her parents reached the booth. Snow stood for a moment, Neal on her hip and smiled down at the couple as if she were laying eyes on love for the first time. Emma wanted to squirm under her gaze, but pressed herself closer to him.

“Look at you two.” She sighed, placing Neal in the highchair David had brought over then slid into the booth opposite, “I’ve never seen you more in love.”

Emma was back to smiling and she reached up to grip onto Hook’s hand-

“Ay,” he nodded and squeezed Emma’s hand back, “don’t think I’ve ever been this in love.”

“As much as this wasn’t what I imagined, I’m so happy you found your true love.” Snow wasn’t fazed by Emma’s eyes hollowing out.

“I suppose we’ll be saying husband in a few weeks.” David sat opposite Snow now he had strapped Neal into the highchair and given him a few soft toys to play with. Emma relaxed, never having imagined she would have a husband by her side, but it was better than the other phrase.

Granny was back over, took her parents orders and then began to coo over her little brother. “Perhaps that one over there might give you niece or a nephew,” she said, glancing over her shoulder at the couple.

“What do you say, Swan?” Hook was looking between them and perhaps having children with him hadn’t entered her mind, but _he already has a nephew,_ was the first thing that did.

She chuckled, a sound which sounded foreign to her own ears and snuggled closely. “Maybe one day-” she smiled between Hook, Granny and her parents, feeling her eyes sting. That day might not even come, not that anyone seemed to remember what had been happening to her recently.

Granny left and when she looked up to her parents, they were both smiling brightly. It was all smiles with them, with her and she was almost too tired to keep up the façade. Almost. Then granny was back and Emma hadn’t participated in the discussion happening around her, no one seeming to notice how all she did was cling onto Hook, because if she didn’t, there was a feeling she would crumble to the ground.

“One grilled cheese,” she announced and put the plate in front of Emma. Hook made a show of removing his arm and Emma sighed. Hook got his food and Granny left again, the diner always busy.

“Oh, my, god,” she grumbled as the delicious food filled her mouth, “tastes so good.” Emma couldn’t remember the last time she had had one of her favourite foods, but the moment she did it felt as if she transformed back to the woman who had first appeared in town and would spend far too much time in here, stuffing down grilled cheeses whilst having secret meet-ups with her son.

There was some guilt over that time once she had realised Regina would give her life for Henry, but that time was difficult and messy and there was too much in Emma’s head for her to be able to think about anything other than the cheese.

The tasty treat was gone, but without the milkshake to fill her up, Emma gave Hook a wink and began to delve into his fries.

“Be careful, love, or you won’t fit into your dress.” The fries was half way into her mouth. She dropped it onto the plate, grabbed a napkin and wiped her mouth.

“Oh, she doesn’t have to worry about any of that.” Snow waved the accusation away and Emma was back to smiling and leaning into Hook’s side. Perhaps it was a joke, but whenever Regina had commented on her poor food choices, throwing child in for good measure, it had never once hurt.

Without warning, Emma yelped as pain shot up her arm. It fell to the table, fingers curling inwards and arm shaking. Her attempts at stopping it, by holding it down with her other hand failed. All the while a hooded figure returned in front of her eyes and gutted her again. By the time she came back to, panting with a bead of sweat running down her back, three pairs of eyes were on her. Neal continued to play without a fuss.

“I’m fine,” she pushed out, knowing if she didn’t say something they would worry, “just a vision.” The pain hadn’t been that intense before, but she didn’t feel the need to share.

“As long as you make it to our wedding day.” Hook moved his arm so it was wrapped around her shoulders once more and Emma leant into him, unable to do anything else. Her parents didn’t seem as convinced, but the sight of them cuddling had them relaxing for some reason Emma didn’t understand.

Emma swallowed and nodded, not wanting to make a fuss about the pounding in her ears and the way her head spun. She closed her eyes and hummed, because she would make this wedding; after she’d dragged him back from hell, if all he wanted was a wedding then she would walk down that aisle. It was the least he deserved. What she wanted didn’t come close to being a deciding factor.

***

As the phone rang, Emma curled herself up on one side of the couch. Her gut clenched, but she paid no attention to it. Her eyes did flicker, however, to the shadow in the corner of the room. Hook was stood behind the door and Emma didn’t know if he had planned to hide or if his presence being known was intentional. It still sent a shiver down her spine.

“Emma?”

“Hi,” she said, a shy smile appearing until the dread forced its way back into the pit of her stomach. Her version of making things up to him would’ve involved a nice dinner on the jolly roger, not an evening in where she had to cancel on the only thing she looked forwards to.

“Is everything okay? I was getting worried, you’re usually here by now.”

“Yeah, I’m alright…not really feeling myself right now.” Green eyes flickered back to Hook. She was supposed to be telling her she would be spending the evening with her fiancé, but now the time had come she couldn’t do it to either of them. “I’m not coming tonight,” she mumbled, a well building behind her eyes which she hadn’t expected. Emma regretted this call already.

“Emma, hey,” she said softly, “if you’re not feeling well and need some time to rest, don’t worry about it, ok? Henry will be here when you’re feeling better.”

“And you,” she whispered, the words slipping out now she felt vulnerable and in need of reassurance.

Regina sighed down the phone, a small smile Emma could imagine accompanying the sound. “And me. I’ll be here.”

“Okay,” she said, voice sounding small even to her own ears.

“How have you been, Emma? Have you been having any more visions?” Emma paused, part of her wanted to confess at how bad they have become. She had one two nights ago and ended up sleeping for nearly an hour afterwards. Hook was still stood in the doorway and the last thing she needed to do was make things worse for herself. He would be micromanaging her life if he were to find out the severity. It made the decision for her.

“Just a little bit of flashes and shaking, but other than that I’ve had nothing.” A tiny bit of guilt flared. Regina had been the only person constantly on at her to fight. She’d been the only person who has told her she _could_.

“Is everything else alright? Anything I can do to help?” There was a sound of urgency in Regina’s voice which had Emma biting her lip. _Come get me and take me away._ She closed her eyes and pushed up a smile, even if Regina couldn’t see. She was the saviour, if this was the price to give others happiness, then she’d pay it. She’d certainly come a long way from the woman who wouldn’t believe.

“Yeah…no…I’m okay. I’m in work tomorrow, so…erm, I’ll see you, soon, I guess.” The tightness in her throat became more apparent with every word she spoke. Family meals were a recent occurrence, one which usually meant Emma wouldn’t let anything get in the way of her Monday evenings. Until now, when all she felt was loss.  

“Emma, talk to me, what’s wrong darling?” If that didn’t want to make Emma cry and curl into herself until the earth swallowed her whole, she didn’t know what would. Or curl up into the softness of Regina’s voice; the only one who seemed to care.

“Nothing.”

There was silence for a moment, but then Regina sighed and let whatever was bothering her about Emma’s tone, drop. “Will you be having Henry this weekend?”

“Of course, he’s always welcome and I’ll be fine by then,” she said, noting how Hook had moved and was making his way to the couch. He sat down slowly and she gave him a tight smile before directing her attention back to the conversation with Regina.

“I’m glad, Emma and he will be too. He actually turned down an invite off Violet this weekend in favour of being with you.”

“He did?” Emma frowned, knowing it hadn’t been the first time. “Is everything alright with him? I thought he really liked Violet.”

“I’m not sure, if I’m being honest. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he clams up and says everything is fine. Sounds familiar,” she said, voice mocking down the phone, “I don’t know the last time he saw her, apart from during the school day.”

“Do you think we should talk to him?” Emma had noticed something was off when it came to her son and his girlfriend, but couldn’t say what it was. It made her feel awful, knowing she couldn’t be there for him now.

“Yes, we’ll find some time soon. Perhaps next week, let’s see how things go.” Emma gripped tighter onto the phone, knowing the conversation was about to end. Hook squeezed a hand above her knee. She twisted her head and smiled through tears. If he’d noticed, he didn’t say a word.

“Okay. Goodnight, Regina.” As much as she might have wanted to keep talking, there was nothing left to say.

“Goodnight, Emma. I hope you feel better soon.”

“Thanks,” Emma muttered, not ready to hang up. The line stayed connected for a few seconds, both waiting for the other to say something. Then it clicked off, Emma felt her heart shatter for reasons she didn’t know and leant into Hook’s side for the only comfort which was available. He flung his arm around her shoulder, the hook dangling by her neck and tugged her closer.

“Now I’ve gotten you all to myself.” He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked before he leant in for a kiss. It took a moment for her to kiss him back, deciding to forgo any plans for dinner and a movie, knowing he would usually pass out afterwards and be out for the night. That way, she might even get a few hours to herself.

***

Emma had been right; the light snoring came from their bedroom as Emma stepped out of the shower. She always took one, no matter how many times he had tried to pull her in for cuddles. There was no way she could sleep unless she cleaned up and by the time she was out, it usually meant he was asleep.

After dressing, she made her way downstairs and made herself a cup of hot chocolate, a sprinkle of cinnamon added to the top. As she went to grab for it, each finger clenched and curled in on itself. She jerked from the pain, knocking the mug onto the floor. It smashed and the contents spilled over the ground and onto Emma’s foot. She was wincing, but only acutely aware of the burning pain. All her focus was on the hooded figure who spun with speed and precision.

The sword swung through the air as she ducked out of the way, the pain rearing to life as she remained rooted in the kitchen. Her arm trembled and hand shook as she tried to lift it, as if she were shielding herself from the impending blow. As usual, the vision saw her disarmed, so she squeezed her eyes and crouched, even though no one was there.

The vision passed and her head spun, stars flashing in front of her eyes once she had opened them. When she did, the numbness in her arm began to fade and the pain in her foot became more apparent. Looking down she saw the red burn scolding the bottom of her foot, just above her toes. With a wave of her hand…nothing. She tried again.

Flinching, she stood and grabbed a towel, ran it under the cold tap before placing it firmly over the burn. Tears pricked her eyes and not because of the pain. Removing the towel, she once again called for her magic, for a small fizzle to appear out of her fingers. She placed the towel back, wrapping it in place around her foot.

After hobbling around and cleaning up the mess by hand, Emma found her phone and curled back up in the same position as earlier. It was a little after eleven, not that late if the extension of the family meals were anything to go by. She dialed the one person she desperately wanted to talk to and held the phone to her ear.

It took a few rings before Regina answered, “Emma, is everything alright?”

Emma’s mouth hung open. It stayed that way then she swallowed, “yeah, sorry, I hit the call button by accident.” Her entire face scrunched at the lie and she flung her other arm down so the side of her fist pounded on the couch.

“Oh, okay, well, goodnight then, Emma.” Regina seemed hesitant, so Emma waited a few beats to see if she would fill in the silence. Willing her to do so. Willing her to say nothing at all. When those few moments had passed and Regina hadn’t said a word, Emma sighed.

“Night, Gina,” she said, ended the call and flung the phone. Her head fell backwards onto the couch, chin trembling as she curled her knees upwards. She was happy. She _was,_ anyone would be affected if they saw their death on repeat.

Emma repeated it to herself over and over, until she lay curled, a blanket which had been left on the couch draped over her body, an arm used as a cushion. Tired was an understatement. If she had told Regina, she would’ve insisted she begin to fight, but with no energy left. Emma returned to her state of thinking.

Give Hook his happy ending. Everything which happened after, would be down to fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome! It really does mean so much to all of us, so if you could show some love and appreciation to all the writers and artists, you could get something in return :D
> 
> The SQSupernova team is sponsoring a contest for commenters, and you can find out more [here](http://sqsupernova.tumblr.com/post/164792441694/announcing-the-sqsn-comments-contest-a-reward-for).


	2. Chapter 2

Mind numbing shifts were the one of the worst things Emma had experienced. The only good thing about filling in paperwork – apart from the excuse of being at work so she could spend some time alone, was that they had to be taken to city hall.  Not that she saw much of Regina anymore.

“Got a minute.” Emma looked up. Lily leant against the door to her small office. She slid her hands into the pockets of her jeans, shrugged and gave Emma a once over. “Though I got t’ admit, it’s still all kinds of weird seeing you working at a sheriff’s station.”

“Lilly.” Emma stood, not expecting to see the woman in the flesh. She walked around the desk then leant against it and crossed her arms. “I thought you’d left town.” That’s what she had heard. They had been so busy searching for the author, Emma hadn’t noticed. After that, she’d had darkness plunged into her, followed by it seeping away.

“I had some things to sort out. Me and Mal texted though, I mean, she can’t leave, what with the magic stuff keeping her alive and all.” Emma smirked; she hadn’t forgotten the times she had been caught off guard when the first curse had been broken. It had seemed almost laughable back then.

“How’s that going? With your mom. I know it’s a lot to take in.” Emma’s body slouched and Lily’s eyes subtly ran over the frilly shirt she had put on. Emma went to defend herself, then snapped her mouth shut, not remembering how.

“It’s still strange, you know?” She shrugged and pulled her eyes away from the shirt which could potentially pass as a curtain. “But it’s…kind of nice. It feels like she cares about me and after the whole, me turning into a dragon and almost turning your mom into a toasted meal-” Emma rolled her eyes at Lily’s smirk, “we bonded a little. And we’ve been talking a lot whilst I’ve been away. It’s just going to take a bit of getting used to.”

“I know the feeling.” Their gazes held for a moment, until Emma’s phone buzzed on the desk. Lily snatched it and squinted at the screen. Emma swallowed down on the dread she felt at missing one of his calls.

“Killian?” She raised a brow at Emma. “You’re still dating that guy? I really thought it would be over by now.” She hit the ‘decline’ button then chucked the phone back on the desk. Emma bit her lip, but pulled her eyes away.

“Well, actually.” Emma held up her ring finger, a shy smile directed at her old friend.

Lily’s eyes widened, she paced closer and gripped onto Emma’s wrist, inspecting the ring at a closer angle. “I never saw that happening with you. Not even back when we were kids.”

“Things have changed.” Emma pulled her hand away then reached them back until her fingers curled around the edge of the desk, “I’ve changed.”

With the way Lily raked her eyes up and down Emma, giving her a skeptical look, Emma wondered, not for the first time, if it had been for the better. It was too late now. She had been put on the right path. Her parents knew it. Hook knew it. If only she could ignore anything else which had the potential to destroy the one thing she had been doing right.

“I just got some serious vibes when we were younger.” Lily used her fist to lightly tap Emma’s arm, “you totally had a crush on me, for one and I thought it was exclusive. But whatever-” she shrugged, creating a little more space between them, “if that guy is what you want.”

“He is.” Emma swallowed. She had desperately wanted Lily as a friend. Had felt tears well up for days after she had left, but, she’d convinced herself over the years it had been nothing more than friendship. With time, the feelings had lessened to the point when they had met again, it had felt as if they were strangers. “I’ve had a few flings with women, but, only when I’d been drinking and I was kind of alone, I don’t know-” she shrugged and tilted so some of her weight was on the heel of her hand.

Emma smiled tightly at Lily; it was nothing she hadn’t told herself before. Falling into a woman’s bed for the night when she had needed a warm body to sleep next to, was nothing more than Emma starving off the loneliness.

“Okay,” she said, drawing out the syllables, eyes widening and making a mental note not to bring up the topic again. The phone vibrated on the table. Lily grabbed it. “He’s calling again, maybe it’s urgent.” She hit decline with a smirk and put the phone back down.

“Lily!” Emma picked up the phone and almost called back. Lily gave her a look. She sighed and put it down. “What was it you wanted to talk to me about, anyway?”

“Oh, yeah, that. Well, Mal has been trying to find my father, but hasn’t had much look. We were thinking maybe you could help? With all your magic and stuff, I don’t know,” she said, shrugging and brushing off the idea as if she was still a kid, not wanting to be ridiculed for wanting something desperately.

Emma pushed from the desk to stand up right and crossed both arms around her chest. “I would love to help Lily, but I don’t know if it’s the best time.” Both eyes fell to the ground, unable to see the disappointment on her friend’s face. She did have a wedding to plan, after all and there was the little fact her magic wasn’t at its best.

“It doesn’t matter. Mal’s asked Regina and her magic is all sorts of insane, so…” Lily turned around, her head bowing in the slightest.

“Wait-” She grabbed Lily’s upper arm causing her to turn and snap her head back up, “let me get this wedding planning done and then I’ll try to help. I’ve just got so much to do and I hardly see Hook as it is, but if you still want my help-” hands slid into the back pockets of her jeans and she shrugged.

“It’d been good, to have another person helping and all.” Lily shrugged a little, biting down on her smirk. “And I was going to ask if you maybe wanted to go out for drinks one night.”

“Can we take a rain check? I’d love to catch up,” she said, hand going straight to Lily’s arm, mind conflicted on the reasoning behind her second rejection, “I’ll call you once I’ve gotten some free time.”

“Well, don’t sweat it.” She shrugged off the arm, shoulders drooping and lips in a tight line, “just give me a call. My number hasn’t changed since I was last here.”

Lily had turned and was out the door before Emma had time to think about how she had let her friend down twice. Over something she had once spent hours and hours wishing for, in houses too crowded whilst she felt nothing but loneliness.  

“I’ll give you a call when I’ve got a minute.” Lily threw her head over her shoulder and nodded, draping her eyes over Emma with a frown. Shaking her head, she turned back around whilst Emma twiddled with the ring. Before she could dwell on a past which seemed murky and blurred at best, her phone rang.

On a sigh, Emma answered. Knowing he would keep on ringing until she did.

***

“Mercy.” Emma let out the loudest groan of her life and flopped her head onto the kitchen counter, both arms moving to cushion the fall. If she were to look at another flower arrangement within this lifetime she would go insane.

Emma winced as the first signs of a headache began to twinge behind her eyes. She’d come to her parent’s loft almost every day since she’d announced the engagement and already she was…regretting telling them. Perhaps if they’d kept the engagement under wraps, she could’ve avoided all of this and not have to marry at all.

“Emma.” Snow sighed, leant against the side and sipped her tea, both eyes glued to her daughter in a squint, “I know flower arrangements might not be your thing, but we’re talking about your wedding day. Could you at least show a little more enthusiasm?”

Emma hated that, she’d lost count on how many times her mother would tell her to be happy; as if it were that easy. She’d lost count on how many times she’d seen her death, too.

“I don’t know.” On a sigh, she popped her head up and shrugged, “they are look the same.”

Snow slid onto the stool besides her own and placed the open bridal magazine in front of Emma’s face and gave her that look. The one she’d given her whenever she would drag her feet over this detail or that. It wasn’t as if she could tell her mother the idea of planning this wedding filled her with dread. As if one wrong detail and the entire thing would fall apart.

“Yellow. I want yellow ones.” She propped her chin in one palm and pouted. It was a good an answer as she was going to get. Not that she knew why the colour scheme and type of flower was all that important to begin with.

“Okay, well, I guess it’s a start.” Snow didn’t seem impressed. The exaggerated sigh which followed only added to that. She picked up the magazine and balanced it in her palm, the pages flopping to each side, “now we need to pick the type of flower.”

“Mooom.” Emma sounded like a moody teenager, but she was bored out of her mind. They’d been over this and over that a dozen times already. “Just pick them for me, I don’t know a thing about flowers.”

“Emma, your wedding is in four weeks. We hardly have enough time left. It can’t be that hard to flip through the pages and choose one you like.” _Four weeks,_ it was the time she had left until Emma Swan became a distant memory. Four weeks until it became official, at least.  

Planning this wedding had proved harder than any one of them would’ve expected. It didn’t help that her soon to be husband would simply smile, kiss her cheek and say, _‘whatever you want, love’_ as if him being the male excused him from any aspect which involved work. Even if this entire thing was happening solely because of him.

“What does it matter anyway?” Emma grabbed the magazine from her mother, flipped through half a dozen pages before sighing and throwing it onto the surface. “If everyone I love is there, I…just…don’t…care.”

Instantly she bit her lip, cheeks reddening and turned to face Snow, ready to take it back. When she tried to open her mouth it made the words taste of bile, mind falling back to the dreadful night when Hook had learned the truth, turned on her and spilled words no part of her was ready to forget. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she said thickly, running fingers through her hair, “this is just stressful.”

A hand brushed up and down her arm, “and when you walk down that aisle, all of this will be a distant memory and you’ll be glad you listened to your mother and picked a flower scheme when all you can think about is how perfect everything is.”

Emma rolled her eyes and shook her head, “I’ll take a look tonight,” she said then stood, “if I look at them for another second they’re all going to blur into one and I already can’t tell them apart as it is.”

“Then why don’t we push the date back a few months? It’s not as if either of you are going anywhere and this town certainly isn’t going to change.” Snow grabbed onto the magazine and began flipping through the pages with a wistful smile, as if she had just solved the entirety of the problem.

Emma’s breathing shallowed and her fingers curled over the kitchen counter, turning white at the force of her grip. “I might not have months.” It shouldn’t come as a surprise anymore, but even the girl trapped in the foster system couldn’t let the flame inside flicker and die.

Snow lifted her nose out the magazine, mouth slightly agape. “I…Emma, we don’t know-”

“I want to have my wedding before that happens.” At least she could finally be a decent saviour before she dies.

Each finger slipped from the counter and arms crossed tightly around Emma’s chest, “and before you give me a speech, we’ve been over this. If this is my destiny, then it’s my destiny. I don’t want to hear any more.” She was tired, so darn tired. All she wanted to do was do was get married and have a chance at her own happiness before she died.

Snow nodded enthusiastically, slamming the magazine shut. “Then I’m going to make sure your wedding day is the best day of your life.”

As if the sheer mention had triggered it, Emma’s left arm tingled. It shook and bent upwards, the usual tightness and lack of control flooding back as a hooded figure filled her vision. Emma gasped, squeezed her eyes until the vision had passed and her arm loosened. Upon opening her eyes, spots appeared and her head went light.

“Emma.” Snow stood then placed a guiding hand on Emma’s arm as she began to sway and blink rapidly.

“I’m fine,” she said in between breaths, unconvincing as she perched on the edge of the stool to regain her breath as the dizziness faded, “need a minute.”

Snow looked to her with a little more than concern in her eyes, wrinkles creasing her forehead. “That was-”

“Just a vision.”

On a deep breath and with one hand clutched onto the side, Emma lifted herself onto shaky legs. She concentrated on each movement, so she wouldn’t sway on the spot or do anything unusual which could lead to more questions than she was ready to answer. “Used to it.”

“Emma, that was-”

“I’m fine, mom.” She made her way to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water and swigged until half it was gone. She could do with a nap…or something stronger, not that she would admit that to her mother.

Snow sighed and Emma turned with the bottle still clasped in her hand. “I need to get to work,” she said, picking up the magazine and tucking it under her arm, “I’ll pick something out later.” Perhaps she wasn’t due at the station for a little while, but she could do with driving home and standing under a steaming hot shower.

Snow tried for a smile but it came out as a grimace, concern she knew to let slide written all over her face. “Let me know what you decide so I can get them ordered and maybe we can find some time this week to test out some cake?”

“That sounds a lot more appealing.” For once something about this wedding didn’t sound so bad.

Snow squeezed her shoulder, “let me know what you decide,” she said softly, as if this wedding wasn’t half of the reason she was feeling like she had been. Emma simply nodded then made her way to the door, one step at a time. If she swayed or tumbled she knew for certain her mother would be all over her.

The moment she was on the other side of the door, she let the smile drop. Glad for a moment where no pretend happiness was required. A part deep inside stung, because no one had seemed to notice. Not that Emma wanted anyone too. There was a chance she wouldn’t be alive much longer anyway.

She repeated it to herself like a mantra, almost as if the reminder would see to it she would continue to do the right thing, all the while she had to use the wall to steady herself before she made her way down the stairs.

***

The report had been long and repetitive and downright awful, but it was finished. Which meant Emma had to take the stack over to town hall. It was also a Thursday, the day Regina had meetings late and should still be in her office. There was a time Emma would meet her every week with coffee and snacks and they would spend an hour or so talking. That was before darkness had swallowed her whole then spat her back out.

With a hopeful knock, Emma waited outside of the mayor’s office until a familiar, “come in,” was shouted her way. Biting down on a smirk, Emma entered, report in one hand and a tray of coffee in the other.

“Coffee?” Regina raised a brow, forgoing a greeting. She pushed the chair away from the desk, stood with both palms pressed to it, the buttoned-up blouse straining as usual. Both sleeves from her blazer were rolled up as she made her way around the desk.

After she had taken a cup, Regina moaned at the warm liquid then tipped her head at Emma, “remind me why we stopped this again?”

Emma shrugged, not wanting to delve into the subject. If she did, it would mean thinking about all the good things which seemed to be disappearing with a surprisingly quick frequency. If she thought too much, it would dredge up events she would much rather keep buried.

“I’m sure you’ll be less pleased with this.” Emma handed over the reports, “but they’re on time, for… a change-” she tipped her head to the side and half chuckled, removing the remaining coffee cup and discarded of the tray.

“Thank you.” Regina took them and turned, adding the folder to an already growing stack on her desk, then leant against her desk to face the younger woman, “did someone threaten you?” She winced at the poor word choice, not that she could tell what was up from down these days.

Emma frowned and moved to take the seat directly in front of where Regina stood, one ankle crossed over the other, “what?”

“Normally I have to pester both you and your father for days over those reports. And I still don’t understand why, unless there’s some massive monster hitting the town-”

“Gods, Regina, don’t jinx it.” She sighed and leant back in the chair with a smirk. She had missed this.

“My point-” both eyes widened and her head tipped, “apart from unexpected attacks, the most exciting thing which happens is Leroy’s weekly visit to a jail cell. What could possibly take you so long?” She crossed her arms, waiting for an answer.

“What’s got you all in a twist?” Regina may have been joking, but she’d seemed…off, not that Emma was equipped to deal with her own problems, never mind that of the friend she didn’t see half as much as she would like.  “And they’re boring, if something unexpected were to happen the reports would be a lot more fun to fill in.” With a lot more damage control, but Emma didn’t mind the clear up afterwards. It usually helped put the incident to rest and fostered a sense of safety amongst the less known residence.

Regina sighed and ran a hand through her hair, “nothing important-” she took another sip of the coffee and sighed again, “I should employ someone to bring me coffee each evening.” After another sip, she looked back to Emma with a little more concern in her voice, “but seriously, Emma, is everything okay. Are you feeling better?”

Emma nodded, “my mother’s on at me about some flower arrangement for the wedding. Turns out I’ve found something more boring than reports.” It wasn’t a lie, not exactly. Either way, Regina had stopped pushing long ago.

“Speaking of your mother.” Regina placed the empty cup down then perched on the desk, each hand resting just behind her hips, “she called earlier and she seemed a little worried.”

“About what?” Emma couldn’t fool Regina. If she had a lie detector, or used to have a lie detector, which, well, she didn’t want to think about; then Regina had a much better equipped bullshit meter. Not that she was using it much lately either.

“Apparently you had a vision, which appeared a little more intense than usual.” Emma squirmed, but tried to keep her emotions flat, which wasn’t all that hard.  Regina pushed from the desk, crossed her arms and glared at Emma, “and well, you’re you. If anything is wrong you’ll ignore it and tell everyone, including yourself, you’re fine.”

Emma didn’t say a word. She allowed their gazes to stay connected and felt her stomach clench as they stared, partly willing herself to open her mouth…

“If something is the matter, you know you have people to talk to?”

“I’m fine.”

Regina raised her brows as if to prove her point, but her eyes were softer and it appeared as if she were as tired of all this as Emma. Not that she had given up on Emma. Like Emma had given up on herself a long time ago without even realising it was what she had done. “Regina, I’m fine. I had a vision, like always. They make me shaky, you’ve seen them and you know my mother and how she exaggerates. But, I’m…fine.”

“It’s not me you have to convince.” Emma frowned at her, caught her gaze again and stared in ways she hadn’t in months. Was that because she believed Emma? Or because she wouldn’t be convinced otherwise? Emma didn’t know which one she preferred.

“I’m fine,” she whispered, the words crushing them both. She broke the eye contact by finishing the remainder of the coffee. “Anyway,” she said, standing and grabbed both the empty cups before throwing them into the trash, “I had a visit a few nights back.”

Emma walked over to the couch, sat and simply waited for Regina to join her. It had felt so long since they had sat and talked, but they instantly fell back into the pattern. Emma didn’t really know what had prompted her to push to get those reports done in time. After the vision, she had gone back to her house to find it empty, to her relief, as Hook was with her father. There was no desire within her to tell anyone how bad the visions were becoming, but the need to be with someone was strong. She supposed she could’ve headed straight out of work to her fiancé, but something had called her here.

“A visit?” Regina pushed off the desk and did exactly as Emma had expected. She smiled softly as Regina took a seat and although if pressed again over her well-being, she would continue with the same answers, Emma felt a little more content to simply be. “From...the queen?”

Regina seemed concerned even more so than over the visions. This time Snow wasn’t exaggerating, but it was an easy excuse to come up with. The queen on the other hand, Emma could only guess to how she was feeling over her presence.

“It was after our family meal last week” she began, recounting how she had left the mansion, drove back to her house only to find the queen waiting for her, “she was leaning against the fence, wearing one of those insane dresses.”

“My dresses weren’t insane, dear.” Regina cocked a brow, that coupled with the seriousness to Regina’s tone had a chuckle bubble in Emma’s chest. One she couldn’t keep in and the more she laughed the more Regina gave Emma a death stare worthy of her evil queen days.

“Oh, come on, Regina. How did you even move? They couldn’t have been comfortable.” They looked good, but Emma shut that thought down in an instant.

“Stop laughing, Miss Swan. It was appropriate attire, uncomfortable, perhaps, but even fashion in this realm isn’t always comfortable.” Regina shifted, feeling slightly off over jokes she wouldn’t usually much care for.

“Are you promoting Victoria’s secret model now?” Emma asked, her laughter dying down in the slightest, but flaring up again as Regina turned her entire body to look at her and frowned so deeply the creases may have settled in for good.

“I beg your pardon.” Obviously, Regina didn’t make the fashion connection, but it had Emma swiping under her eyes and shaking her head.

“Nothing,” she said, her stomach aching slightly, “you’re so easy to wind up.”

Regina sighed, no longer in the mood, “and you’re a child, with a ridiculous sense of humour.” She tensed at the sharpness to her tone. One which hadn’t been there since their early days.

“Regina.” Emma turned and frowned at the sudden shift, “I was only joking.”

“Next time you mock the evil queen, remember you are mocking me, dear.” She didn’t look to Emma as she had said it, not even sure where it had come from. Hadn’t she been the one who had wanted the queen to be a separate part of herself in the first place?

Emma hadn’t expected that. When the queen had first arrived, they had all gone on defence, only to shift to offence. Regina wanted her gone or she had, “is something the matter?”

Regina’s shifts in mood weren’t something to take lightly. At a glance, they seemed irrational and sometime frustrating, but if you could get to the heart of it, there was always a reason behind them.

There was a long silence. Regina crossed one leg over the other and sighed. Emma fell back and twiddled her thumbs in her lap, not at all sure how to approach any of this. No matter what she or anyone did over the queen, it had always turned out horribly wrong. Even Henry had pushed her away and that was the first time Emma had caught the hurt in the queen’s eyes. Then Regina’s and if it didn’t remind her of those early days then she didn’t know what would. Seeing that visual had hurt a part Emma hadn’t known to exist. “Is it something to do with the queen?”

“I’m sorry for snapping, Emma.” Regina twisted and looked to her, “it’s just been harder to adjust then I realised. She was a part of me for a long time and perhaps there are some parts that I miss.” That hadn’t meant to come out, though Regina supposed if she couldn’t be honest with Emma, then she wouldn’t be honest back.

“You…miss the evil parts?” Emma seemed sceptical, but as always, she was ready to listen.

“I can live without the evil impulses, though it turns out thoughts of homicide don’t necessarily disappear. Not when your parents are around-” and the pirate, but she chuckled along with Emma, not mentioning that part, “but now, there’s all of these aspects of me that are…gone. I’m simply learning to deal without them.” Emma was almost certain there was more to it, but then Regina visibly swallowed and moved on without hesitation, “are you going to tell me what she wanted?”

“Oh, right, no idea.” Emma forgo mentioning the queen’s gloating about the revelation that Hook had killed David’s father in the past and how she had called her weak for still being with him. “She spoke in riddles for the most part.” And laughed at her, repeatedly and Emma now realised how she had just made Regina feel. She deflated, wondering why anyone would choose to be around her when she continued to behave in ways which were foreign.

Emma had absentmindedly began twiddling with the ring. Regina tried to ignore it, but her eyes settled on it as she thought of all the ways the queen could’ve chosen to mess with them, she had targeted Hook. “Did she say anything about what she wanted?”

“Not really. I asked her what she hoped to achieve but she didn’t give me anything other than vague answers. Did you always talk like that?” Emma caught Regina staring at her ring, abruptly pulling the sleeves of her striped sweatshirt over her fingers to cover it.

“I suppose,” she said, using her hands to gesture in the air, “in certain situations, if I wanted to mess with people’s heads I would talk in riddles to confuse them.” She rolled her eyes the moment Emma bit down hard on her lip. Perhaps she shouldn’t laugh and she didn’t want to put Regina in a bad mood, but she couldn’t help but find it funny. “Don’t you start laughing again or I’ll-”

“Talk in riddles to confuse me?” The laughter roared again and Emma let it spill directly from her chest, not remembering the last time she had laughed so hard. Regina joined in this time, which Emma was relieved of. Whilst they were still smiling, they made eye contact, as if for a second it was just them. Nothing else to get in their way. Until Emma shifted her gaze and Regina cleared her throat.

“She did blast some magic at me though. I managed to deflect it, but she poofed away before I had the chance to ask her about it.” Emma had still been reeling from the ‘weak’ comment and it’d given her just enough fight to prove to the queen she had been wrong. Love wasn’t weakness. Even if it continued to drain the life out of her, drop by excruciating drop.

Regina straightened her back, glancing to Emma with worry. “Was she trying to hurt you?”

“I don’t know. It all happened quickly.” Or the small fact using magic would exhaust her to the point she had received a pounding headache afterwards and could hardly recall what had happened by the time she had passed out in her bed and awoken the following morning.

“Why am I so confusing?” Regina rolled her eyes at herself and the absurdity of the situation almost had Emma laugh again, but she found herself wiping a hand down her face, having wondered the same thing for years.

“I’m sure she’ll be back soon to cause some sort of havoc or another,” Emma said, hoping to get a minute’s break between the visions, the queen and her impending death. And the wedding, which seemed to be the one thing she couldn’t get a break from.

“That I’m sure of.” Regina hesitated for a moment, not sure whether she was content the conversation about the queen was ending or if she wanted to find the trust in Emma she had found in no other. Without knowing what exactly it was she had wanted to discuss, the let it go. She turned her body so she faced Emma and squinted her eyes, believing this could be a harder conversation to have. “I was thinking, Emma. Perhaps if we worked together to try and figure out where these visions are coming from, then maybe we’d have a better chance at fighting them.”

“Regina.”

“Emma.”

“I know what I’m seeing and it…sucks, but all I can do is continue to live my life. I know you want me to fight this, but there’s nothing left to fight.”

Regina’s pursed her lips and nodded. “If you change your mind,” she said, the softness of her eyes hardening as she stood and ran both palms over the crinkles in her skirt. Regina had been on the receiving end of Emma’s innate need to fight. She hadn’t noticed when that same fight had withered into ash.

Emma followed suit, letting go of the material she’d been holding over her fingers in favour of crossing both arms over her chest. “Well, if I don’t see you until Monday, have a nice weekend.” Emma knew when it was time to escape. They could have the same discussion over and over, it still wouldn’t change the outcome.

Regina smiled tightly, heels clipping as she made her way back around her desk, back in the position Emma had found her in. “You too, Emma,” she said, head down as she began to shuffle through the paperwork.

“Bye, Regina.” After a moment of anticipation and one last glance, Emma left the mayor’s office. The blow to her gut hit when Regina didn’t look her way or say goodbye.


	3. Chapter 3

They’d almost gotten into a fight. Henry had been there all weekend, so Hook didn’t understand the need for Emma to visit him again. Apparently, there was a limit to the amount of time she should be allowed to have around her child. Perhaps they should’ve chosen a different day of the week, to prevent this. Would’ve made things easier all round.

Emma had already missed out on the family time last week. Even though part of her had wanted to shrink away and be the partner Hook wanted her to be, she had managed to stand her ground. It didn’t help that there was a pinging inside her mind, one she ignored, for every time they would reach Monday only for Hook to say he had thought they could do this or that. He was simply forgetful, she would remind herself and his desire to keep her in close was nice. She was wanted.

On the way to the mansion, considering she had already left later than she’d planned and figured another twenty minutes wouldn’t make a difference, Emma had grabbed a bottle of wine in the hopes of letting down her guard around the only person she felt comfortable enough to do that, along with getting a little tipsy in the process.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said the moment Regina answered the door. Emma panted, cheeks flamed and eyes red rimmed. “Don’t tell me you’ve started without me?” Emma’s attempted smirk came out more like a grimace. One she let drop as Regina smiled at her softly, eyes warm and stepped to the side to let Emma through.

“Red?” Regina cocked a brow as she took the offered wine, not hiding the undertone of surprise. It wasn’t uncommon for them to open a bottle or have a glass of cider, but they usually stuck to white as they both had to get up for work in the morning. “Are you expecting to drive home tonight?”

Emma flinched, glad Regina had her back to her as she placed the bottle in the fridge. “I didn’t really give it much thought.”

Beyond wanting to relax and let her mind take a few hours off, Emma hadn’t thought about what would happen afterwards. It was only one bottle. She was a bit of a lightweight when it came to the stuff, but was sure she could drive the small distance.

“You could try poofing.” Regina raised a suggestive brow and Emma wasn’t sure if she wanted to see her try because it would be amusing if she failed. So much for the evil streak being pushed out.

“Drunk?” Regina chuckled, but Emma considered it for a moment. Only a moment, when she realised whilst drunk, she would be thinking of two things. Food and who she loved. She would never make it back to Hook in one piece. Or at all.

“Maybe not the best of ideas. Half of you would most likely end up at Granny’s, due to your ridiculous infatuations over grilled cheese.” Where the other half landed was left to be seen. Neither of them commented on that, but Emma had to let out a small chuckle.

“I swear it’s like you’re inside my brain at times.” Emma didn’t think much about the comment, not until Regina squeezed her bicep with a smile. It lasted a second, but as Regina let her hand fall away and made her way from the kitchen, Emma already miss the touch. It had always been intoxicating.

“I highly doubt that, dear.” Regina threw the comment over her shoulder as Emma trailed behind, heart beating faster than during her rush to get here.

Henry was perched on the edge of the couch, a controller in one hand as his body jerked and fingers moved quicker than any eye could keep up with. He grunted and sighed, throwing his hands up in the air as the tv made a loud buzzer noise, him taking a sip of his soda before acknowledging either parent was in the room.

“Mom,” he said, bouncing up and down on the couch, “wanna team up? I could seriously use some help over here.”

Just like that Emma’s shoulders relaxed, she took off the long black cardigan and flung it over the back of the couch, smiling widely as she nudged her son to make room for her. Regina’s heels clipped as she made her way to them, arms crossed and a fake eye roll accompanied her loud sigh, “dinner will be ready in thirty minutes. If either of you are still playing on this ridiculous thing I’ll pull the plug out before you have a chance to hit save.”

“Aye aye, captain-” Emma saluted and flashed a smile, whilst Henry giggled besides her. The threats were empty. They all knew it. They’d tried the good cop, bad cop routine with their son, but it turned out Regina was a bigger push over than Emma.

“Thirty minutes,” she repeated and shook her head now the game had started; there was no way she would get any attention from either of them. Regina made her way back to the kitchen and Emma already felt the absence. She glanced up to where Regina hovered by the door. One hand gripped over the edge, her head twisted around her shoulder and their eyes connected.

Emma had wanted Regina to stay, to snuggle between them and make hilarious comments as they played. Spending time with her son was worth every second, but the three of them made sense. Their gaze intensified, until Regina ducked her head and went into the kitchen.

“How’s your mom doing?” Emma asked, not hiding the question under any guise. She’d tried talking to him over the weekend, but with Hook there she hadn’t wanted him to overhear. There was a slight hint of concern in her tone, even though Regina had seemed to cool off with the most utterly absurd idea that she had to die to stop the queen. Her state of mind remained a potential issue.

He paused the game, causing Emma to lift a brow and he turned it on to a level they could play with ease. “Okay, for the most part. She seems more distant than usual and except for work, she doesn’t really go out much. I think she’s sad.” He stared straight at the screen, whilst Emma took a quick glance in his direction. There was a time she could get this information herself. It might have taken some pushing, but eventually, Regina would open up to her.

“Sad over…Robin Hood?” Emma asked, thinking back to the wish realm and the shadow version of the soulmate Regina had lost. He hadn’t wanted to return and there was a light inside Regina which had switched off in that moment. Emma had stood by, reminded of all those times she had watched other children leave with their forever families.

“Maybe-” he shrugged, “she was alright when you guys came back. These last few weeks it’s like she’s almost back to what she was like under the curse. I mean, no, that’s not it, she’s different, but back then she wasn’t really living. I didn’t understand it then, but I think she was kind of sad back then, too.” His shoulders slumped forwards and he sighed. That time had been hard, on all of them. But it had taken them years to look back and realise Regina had suffered too.

Emma placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle squeeze, “you know none of that was your fault. That time was messy, but you had every right to feel how you felt.” He nodded and Emma retreated her hand and returned her gaze back to the game.

“I know, and she’s not exactly acting like she did, but she’s just doing what she needs to do and not-”

“Living.” Now Henry had pointed it out, Emma could see where he was coming from. Regina always appeared okay when they were together, but there had been this underlying tone ever since they’d returned from New York and a part of her had been split and presumed dead.

“Don’t tell her that I told you this.” He put his controller down and looked directly at Emma, giving her a stern look to which she nodded in agreement. “But…the other week, after you left. I don’t know for sure, but she said she had a headache and went to bed early and…” he looked away and tapped the controller over his palm.

“Kid. And what?”

Emma felt a wave of guilt at going over Regina’s head, but if left to the two of them, Emma would never get answers. She supposed it was the same the other way around. Somehow, Emma managed to tell herself that was different. She could help Regina, there wasn’t much to be done in return.

“She was crying,” he said softly.

“Crying?” Henry nodded as Emma felt her heart clench. Their last evening had felt incredible. She’d forgotten about any looming threats for hours. Perhaps…it hadn’t been the same for Regina. She tried to think of something she could’ve missed, but her memory failed tremendously. A niggling feeling of self-doubt planted itsself, one she squashed as the door opened and shut, bringing Emma out of her reverie.

“I see you listened to me for once.” Regina walked up to them, perching on the arm of the couch, looking between mother and son, “is everything alright?”

Emma looked up and put the information to the back of her mind to think on later. “I was just asking our son what’s going on in his love life,” she said, ruffling his hair and chuckled when he ducked under her hand, jumping up from the couch. He blushed and shrugged his shoulders.

“I just realised you have hardly told me about your girlfriend.” Regina glanced briefly in Emma’s direction. “Maybe you could invite her over for dinner sometime.”

“No. That’s okay. I mean, she might feel a little intimidated, you know, meeting my moms.” He tried for a chuckle, shuffling awkwardly, but his moms knew right then to look to each other and have a conversation with just their eyes.

Emma’s stomach grumbled, loudly, before another word was said. “Please tell me dinner is ready.” It had saved them a conversation for the time being. It could wait, Emma was sure whenever Henry was ready to let them in, he would. He had never shut them out in the past.

Regina squeezed her shoulder, “you’re worse than a child.” Emma rolled her eyes and stood, caught Regina’s gaze and smiled, squashing down any thought that Regina didn’t want her here. It had been her who had initiated the idea of family meals, after all.

The three of them headed into the kitchen, the smell delicious. Emma’s mouth watered and she planned on savoring every moment spent with her family, not wanting the evening to end.

***

“Do you want to stay and open the wine?” Regina finished washing the last of the dishes and placed them on the side for Emma to dry and put in the cupboard. After she’d done, Regina shook both hands in mid-air, spun around only for Emma to grab a towel and hand it over. “Thank you.” She grabbed it, dried her hands then threw the towel on the side.

“Wanna grab the glasses?” Emma was already at the fridge and spun with the chilled bottle in hand, “inside or out?” It was a given Emma wouldn’t leave. Each week she would find any excuse to draw out their evenings, it just so happened this week she had brought the excuse with her.

“We can take it into the next room,” Regina said and turned before she saw Emma’s face drop. A tiny part of her had been hoping they would take it outside. The last time they had, they’d ended up cuddled beneath a blanket, knees and arms touching, but Emma had not been able to gather enough courage to rest her head down. She had been waiting for another chance.  

“So-” Regina let her heels drop, sat down on one end of the couch and curled her legs upwards, back leaning against the chair arm so she could face the younger woman, “are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?”

Of course Regina would go straight for the one thing Emma had wanted to avoid, though it wasn’t as if she would have it any other way. As much as she groaned internally, Regina was the only person she could trust with such a thing.

Emma plonked down, kicked off her shoes and bent her knees to her chest, leaning one side against the back of the couch.

“Getting straight to the deep stuff,” she said and reached to grab her wine glass, emptying almost half of it in one go, “can’t we gossip about the town instead? That’s much more fun. Or,” she said, ignoring the hand Regina lifted then let flop to the couch, “we could give each other a make-over or I could braid your hair.”

“You’re insufferable. To the point where I can’t tell if you were worse back then or now.” Regina narrowed her eyes to which Emma brought a hand to her chest and feigned shock. The light heartedness of the moment faded quickly as Emma brought her mind back to that time. A shadow crossed her face.

“Emma?”

She took another hearty gulp of her wine, silence settling over them as they both let their minds wander. “It was all so different back then,” Emma said, took a breath then connected their eyes, “do you regret any of it?”

Normally, Emma wouldn’t broach such a topic, but for right now, she wanted to talk. Perhaps not about the visions or the future, but they used to have good talks which left her mind spinning.

Regina didn’t answer for a long time, taking small sips of her wine as they sat in thought. “So much for town gossip.”

Perhaps it would’ve been easier for them to sit and chat about who was pairing up with who or what new special Granny had added to the menu. If Emma wanted to talk like that, she could’ve stayed with Hook. No, time with Regina was precious and their talks opened parts of herself she hadn’t known to exist. She could do with some stimulation, rather than the mundane day to day life she’d been living.

“I don’t know, Emma.” A nail tapped against Regina’s wine glass and she bit her lip, before letting it slide between her teeth, “there’s a few things I wish I would’ve known.” The statement was left at that and Emma wanted to push for answers. It wasn’t difficult to take a guess at some. If the things or people Regina had lost were any indication. “It’s something I try not to dwell on. Didn’t do me much good in the past.”

“Yeah-” both of Emma’s eyebrows shot up and she nodded in agreement, “there’s a lot I wish I would’ve known too.”

Regina hummed and smiled then looked back down. The silence washed over them once more. It was always the way with them, one of them would start on something too hard for either of them to speak about, but after some time would pass, one of them would break the silence and the conversation would flow.

“If I wasn’t so desperate for my mother’s love, I would never have placed her heart back in her chest and perhaps she would still be alive.” Regina did suppose she had managed to pass onto a better place, though it didn’t mean there wasn’t a craving within her to be able to have some time back. A time where she was enough and her mother looked to her with love.

“Wouldn’t have that defeated the point?” Emma thought it did, at least. “If you hadn’t returned her heart, she wouldn’t have changed. You wouldn’t have gotten a mother you deserved.” Although, that was a hefty word in and of itself, because what they each believed Regina deserved, were too very different things.

“Perhaps. Would I be a terrible person if I said it’s easier without her here?” Regina looked to Emma whilst she considered it. She had been a terrible person once, whether she still was remained a different matter. Especially when the supposed evil half of her continued to stalk the town.

“Not after everything she put you through. I know I don’t know the half of it, but it mustn’t have been easy for you.” Emma didn’t know if she wanted to understand the rest or not. There was a part of her waiting to hear every moment of it, whilst the other didn’t want to know in the ways in which Regina had suffered.

“And you?” Regina waited expectantly, not that Emma even knew where to begin. She shook her head and took another sip of the wine to buy herself time, not knowing whether to voice these or let them be.

“I always managed to mess everything up for you.” Emma didn’t look up, thinking back to Marian, the underworld, how she had promised Regina a happy ending only to destroy it time and again, “some saviour I turned out to be.”

“I don’t think you’re the problem, Emma.” Regina looked to her intently, as if her eyes could drill a hole in Emma’s head, but she couldn’t look away. Not when Regina swallowed and when her hand trembled as she brought the wine glass to her lips.

“Maybe neither of us are.” Emma offered an olive branch, aware this remained a sore spot, “I don’t know if I believe in fate, but it seems to push us no matter what we do.”

“You can twist it anyway you would like. Villains don’t get happy endings, it’ll always remain that way.”

_What’s my excuse?_

It was on the tip of Emma’s tongue, but if she let that thought run, there would be no stopping it.

“You ever thought that you and Robin weren’t meant to be?” It certainly seemed that way from where Emma had been standing. There had been outside circumstances which had pushed them back and forth, but Emma just so happened to be sent back in time to the period Marian was alive? She simply ended up in a cell with her? Where the saviour had come alive and there was no way she was leaving her behind.

Regina frowned, “he was my soulmate. I would love to hear how you came up with that one.”

“Look, all I’m saying is since you two met, there have been things keeping you apart. Maybe if you met him when you were supposed to, then you would’ve got your happily ever after.” The fact she had been married to the king would’ve prevented that, they both knew it and it only added to Emma’s theory.

“Of course, it’s my fault.”

“Regina, you know that’s not what I meant.”

There was a long sigh then those brown eyes connecting with her again, “I wouldn’t have gotten Henry. He was worth losing that chance.”

“I’m glad you got him, you know?” There was a lump in Emma’s throat and perhaps Regina deserved more than that, an apology for the time she’d barged into town and took him away.

“I needed you to take him.” Regina gulped more wine, whilst Emma frowned at her, more than hoping she would continue with that thread. “I tried to love him and I did my best, but I was so scared of him finding out who I really was, that I-” her head bowed and the tremble in Regina’s voice was exactly why they had never touched this before, “I had to change to get him back and without the thought of losing him or you constantly pushing me to do the right thing, I don’t know if I would’ve gotten to a good place.”

Emma wanted to crawl over and snuggle into her. The need made her ache and hate herself all in one breath. “I’m proud of you.”

Regina’s head snapped up. Those words were foreign to them both. Emma hadn’t meant to have said it, it had simply popped out. “Do you think if we’d done things differently, we wouldn’t have gotten here?”

“You mean all the fighting and seething and everything to go with that?” Oddly enough, Emma wouldn’t change any of it. There might have been a time where Regina would elicit so much frustration she didn’t know what to do with it, but every moment had been worth it.

“I know it might sound strange, but, I like our history. It feels real.” Compared to the soulmate who turned up and was suddenly in Regina’s life or the pirate who made Emma lose all sense of herself. “It’s a wonder we did anything right.”

Emma didn’t comment. She might not change their friendship for the world, but there was something about it which made her ache. “I don’t think we were fate. The saviour and the evil queen-” they both chuckled, ignoring the gleam both pairs of eyes took on, “it would’ve made a good story though.”

“What’s this sudden obsession with fate?” Regina asked, blinking far too rapidly for Emma not to notice. She grabbed onto the wine glass for a refill and silently offered the bottle over. With both of their glasses filled, they settled back onto the couch.

“I don’t know,” she whispered and shrugged. She did. If she had done things differently, a kiss in Neverland or a trip to the underworld or any number of things, would she still be counting down the days? “Anyway, is everything okay with you? I’ve not seen much of you since we got back from the wish realm.”

Regina perked up and laced a heavy dose of sarcasm to her tone, “I’ve never been better, dear.”

“Regina.” Emma sighed, because of course she would avoid the topic. It was something they were both rather skilled at.

Regina smirked over the glass she was currently tipping against her lips, “annoying, isn’t it?” she said, a faint shade of red lipstick now covering the edge of it.

“Okay, I know I’ve not been forthcoming-”

“Because you’re Emma and Emma is infuriating and even when I know full well something is wrong, she still won’t talk to-”

“Regina.” Emma didn’t know how her attempts at steering the topic away from herself had done the opposite. “I might not have much time left to be here for you.”

A flash of pain flew across Regina’s eyes and Emma’s heart clenched. “I…”

“And who’s fault is that?” Regina took another gulp of her wine.

“They’ve been getting worse,” Emma admitted softly, as fingers began to brush gently over the back of her palm. They each had an arm draped over their knees, an inch between where their hands dangled. All Regina had to do was lift her wrist to gently stroke her fingertips over Emma’s warm skin. “The visions, they’ve been more intense, making me feel dizzy and drained and it feels like my magic is being sucked out of me.”

“You could’ve told me.” The wine was settling over them. Emma rested her head on the couch, closing her eyes to concentrate of the gentleness to Regina’s touch. “You could’ve come to me.” There was hurt in her voice, maybe even tears she was holding onto, but Emma didn’t want to think about how her demise could affect those around her.

Opening both eyes slowly, Emma connected their gazes and tried for a small smile, “will you just please tell me what’s going on with you.” All her energy may be going into giving one person their happy ending, whether he was worthy of it or not, but that didn’t mean Emma couldn’t be here now.

“I’m just worried about you. But I know you-” she gave Emma a watery smile, as fingers continued brushing Emma’s hand, “you’ll end up fighting this in the end.”

Emma nodded tightly; Regina was referring to a version of herself she could barely remember. The Emma Swan who would’ve fought for herself had been lost when the darkness seized to exist and all she could think to do was cling onto what was familiar.

“I should probably get going.” Not that she wanted to leave, but Regina was looking to her like it was painful and it made Emma want to take it all away, knowing she had been the catalyst for Regina losing her happiness in the first place. Fate be damned.

Wine remained in Emma’s glass, so she gulped it all no matter how bitter the taste. Her face scrunched up as she placed the empty glass down. The room spun as Emma stood and she blinked rapidly then opened her eyes wide to get it back into focus, “wine was stronger than I thought.”

A lot stronger, to the point where she swayed a little as she reached for her keys.

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to drive. You’re welcome to take a guest room if you want to sleep it off.” Regina looked to her with concern, but Emma didn’t want to feel any more sorrow or pity so after a hiccup she spun her keys around her fingers.

“I’m sheriff, it’s not like someone gunna arrest me,” she slurred, the alcohol finally hitting, “and doesn’t matter if I crash, just going to speed up the inevitable.” Emma wasn’t sure if that had come from the wine or if the wine had pushed it from within.  

“That’s not funny.” Regina had had considerably less alcohol than Emma, but those words sobered her up in an instant. Emma only shrugged and kept her eyes focused on the ground, wrapping her arms around her middle.

“Don’t matter.” Emma bit her lip until the taste of copper filled her mouth. It was bad enough when she’d been jolted into position as saviour, having to accept her crappy childhood as a means to an end. She’d been collateral damage for the greater good. Now she had to give her entire life too, because she had become the saviour she had never wanted to be in the first place.

Regina stood and walked to her in silence. She tugged her to her chest and wrapped both arms tightly around Emma’s shoulders.

“You matter,” she whispered and closed her eyes as she held her close. It took a second of wrestling with herself until Emma sighed and leant into the embrace. She twisted her head to rest a cheek on Regina’s shoulder, it squashed into her face. Not that she cared; Regina was so warm and her arms fit snuggly around Regina’s waist, which she squeezed with all her might as both eyes did the same.

“I’m so tired, R’gina.” She relaxed her grip on the older woman, eyes remaining closed as she hummed in content. Two hands rubbed up and down her back. Nothing had ever felt so good. Emma’s body molded into Regina’s on automatic. If only she could get them to lie down, she could’ve slept in that position all night.

“Do you want to stay?” Regina brushed some hair over Emma’s shoulder, the other still holding onto her tightly.

In a dazed state, Emma sighed, “yes,” before she jolted upright, her head popping up to look directly into brown orbs. “No, I…I can’t.”

If she stayed all night, Hook would be impossible the next morning and the week after when it came to her family meal again, she didn’t want to think about it. Easier to simply comply than cause unnecessary conflict. He was her soon to be husband, after all, she should be spending time with him.

“Then I’m driving you home. Henry will be okay on his own for thirty minutes.” Regina pulled her arms away, leaving them clasping onto Emma’s upper arms, “and let’s fight this, we can fight this.” She gave Emma a gentle shake as if to insinuate her point, but Emma shook her head and shrugged. Did Regina not hear when she said she was tired?

“Emma-” she sighed, squeezing her hands, “are you going to be okay?”

The bags under Regina’s eyes were more noticeable now and Emma found herself staring instead of listening to Regina, more bothered about her friend’s well-being than her own.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, back to the dreary response, “need to get back to Hook.”

Emma stepped away from the comfort before she didn’t leave it at all and held out her keys. Regina took them and regarded Emma. She wanted to help, but didn’t know how to get through.

“I’ll let Henry know I’m driving you home.” Emma flinched for a second time, but Regina had already turned.

Emma flung her cardigan around her shoulders, crossed her arms tightly over her chest and reminded herself she was happy with him. If she had to ignore the way her stomach was in knots, like it was every week when she had to leave her family behind, then she would.

Emma shuffled at the door, until the sound of heels clipping onto the floor brought her out of her daydream. “You gunna be okay?” she asked the moment Regina appeared. The time spent waiting had let the wine settle in the slightest.

“You don’t really care about be, do you?” Regina seemed beyond hurt and glared down at Emma.

“That’s not true.” Emma shook her head and pouted. She cared, maybe too much and how in the world Regina had come out with that, after Emma had sacrificed herself to darkness she didn’t know. The anger filled her to the brim. She hadn’t gotten so much as a ‘thank you’ and through all of it, Regina had remained passive to her, so she’d drifted to Hook and perhaps things wouldn’t be like this and… “it’s not you I don’t care about!”

Regina stared, mouth slightly agape. At least it had filled in a tiny piece of the puzzle. Then her eyes softened. Emma took deep breaths to steady herself, fists clenched by her sides.

“Let’s just go, okay. It’s getting late,” Emma turned away from far too much raw emotion. She had let too much slip tonight. There was a need to let the burdens out, but all she had to do was hold onto them a little while longer. Regina had her own problems, she didn’t need to have Emma’s too.

A soft hand fell to her lower back as Emma’s hand gripped onto the door handle. It made her pause and look back.

Regina’s gaze remained intense, “Emma,” she said thickly, but in response she shook her head then opened the door.

They walked in silence to the bug. A gnawing grew in Emma’s stomach. It was easier to be passive about her demise when she believed it would affect no one, but herself. The tunnel view allowed her to view things in her own terms. One where her parents were proud of her for fulling her destiny. Hook got his happy ending after everything she had put him through. Regina and Henry could live on, content to have each other.

They reached the bug and an arm slipped around her waist, Regina’s head coming to rest on her shoulder. It was intimate in ways they had never been. Emma had to resist the urge to twist and hold her back. When Regina moved away, she was reminded that perhaps she was wrong.

Emma would lose her life, but everyone else would be losing Emma from their lives, too.

***

One minute, Emma was lay passed out on the couch, the next light tried to invade her eyes. She squinted whilst her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. Her eyes were sticky. She flung an arm over them and groaned, pulling the blanket upwards until it covered her face. One leg and one arm hung off the couch. With her mind still asleep, she couldn’t tell what had happened, other than that she’d just had the strangest dream.

Boots stomped on the floor, stopping just besides where Emma lay, “have a good night, Swan?”

Hook stood with his fist clenched, towering over a half-asleep Emma. She groaned again, trying to turn onto her side with no luck. “Swan, are you doing this to hurt me?”

“What?”

She squinted and pulled the blanket away to look up to Hook, “what are you talking about?” She frowned, moaned and flung the arm back over her eyes. “I’m sleepy,” she murmured, pulled her legs up onto the couch and curled onto her side, “talk later.”

Her eyes were already closed, so she didn’t notice Hook’s jaw clench.

“I don’t think so.” Emma realised he wasn’t going anywhere. On a grunt and already thoroughly annoyed, she pushed herself upright and blinked to try and get her eyes to adjust to the light. She swung her legs so she sat upright then leant forwards to place her head in her arms.

“Could you at least get me some aspirin if you’re going to start yelling at me?” He scoffed, but headed towards the kitchen. Emma sighed, knowing she’d messed up, a pit of dread and regret building in her gut. Buying that bottle of red had been a risk, she had known, but she’d made it back to the house.

He came back with a glass tucked carefully under his arm and tablets in his cupped palm. Emma took the water first, took a large gulp then grabbed the aspirin.

“Thanks.”

“So? Are you going to tell me what happened last night?” A hand rubbed down Emma’s face as she tried to think back to the night and what possibly could’ve sent Hook into this ridiculous spiral.

“I went to the mansion for a family meal, like every Monday, then I came back, crashed on the couch and now you’re mad and I have no idea why.” Emma didn’t know where the sarcasm had come from, she was usually docile where Hook was concerned, but it felt good. For once, she knew he was being absurd and she could still remember how comforting it had felt to have that arm around her waist and Regina’s head resting on her shoulder.

Emma had looked into the window of her bug and seen their refection, the way Regina had closed her eyes and her chest raised and lowered slowly. _I’m not losing you,_ she’d whispered, before she’d let go and made her way around to the driver’s seat without so much as another word.

“And I woke to the sounds of another woman tending to my fiancé.” He shook his head and chuckled without humour, “is that usually part of your evening?”

Emma groaned and became more frustrated by the minute. “Regina gave me a ride because I’d had too much to drink and made sure I got inside safely and you’re mad? Would you have preferred it if I’d drove back myself and ended up wrapped around a tree?”

“I’d prefer it if you hadn’t gone out at all, Swan, it’s like I don’t exist to you anymore.” He shook his head and Emma felt herself swallow as her eyes widened. She didn’t want to lose him, but the statement had alarm bells ringing in her ears, ones she tried to shut off.

“I’ll make it up to you.” It was instinct by this point; she would do something he wouldn’t like and in return he would get whatever he wanted. It was tiresome, but necessary if she wanted to keep him. Emma stood and threw him a flirtatious smile in the hopes he would drop it, but her mind spun. Then a tingle ran up her arm.

She squeezed both eyes tightly and tried to focus on her breathing instead of the sword she could see being punched straight through her gut. As if it had happened in that moment, Emma bent in two and fell to one knee. A hand flew to her stomach as if she were trying to stop bleeding which wasn’t there.

“Swan!”

She cried out, the pain intensifying in her arm and mid-section. Pushing through it, she glanced up to see the hooded figure slowly turn around. Their hands were on the edges of the hood, face covered by a shadow. Emma fought through the blurriness, through the searing pain behind her eyes, in the hopes she could catch a glimpse.

All she heard was a dark chuckle as flashes started exploding in front of her eyes. Her body shook violently and she called for magic as the room began to spin and went black. It failed her and she was unconscious before she’d hit the ground.


	4. Chapter 4

A soft murmur surrounded the otherwise quiet room. A small weight nestled into her side and warmth covered one hand. Forcing against the heaviness to her lids, Emma opened her eyes a slither. The room was dark and when she twisted her head, she spied Henry curled up on the bed against her, Regina across the room asleep on a chair and her mother in another chair, head resting on the bed, her hand placed on top of her own.

Tape was covered over her palm where she felt a small pinch, but she didn’t attempt to see where it led. She let out a small hum, mouth dry, but each muscle was too tight and heavy to move. Emma closed both eyes and gave up any hope of doing anything other than sleep as a heavy weight settled on her body and her mind fell into a deep slumber.

When she next awoke, the room was bright and the bed was only occupied by herself. There was a beeping noise, which had Emma scanning the otherwise empty room. Hooked up to an IV and unable to move more than a few quivers of each muscle, Emma lay in the hospital bed, completely and utterly alone. Until the door opened and in walked Hook. Instead of being grateful for the company, Emma groaned internally.

“Swan.” He paced to her side, used his only hand to grip onto Emma’s and looked down, “I didn’t mean what I said, know there’s no place in the world I’d rather be than with you.” It was romantic, Emma could give him that and she didn’t doubt him for a second. She was no longer sure if she felt the same in return. She had no idea what to do about any feelings which had changed.

“Thirsty,” she croaked, voice cracking with disuse. At least she wouldn’t have to think about anything whilst she lay in hospital.

He grabbed the jug of water and poured some in a glass, popping in a straw then held it to her lips. Emma swallowed greedily and didn’t stop until the glass was empty. “Thanks,” she muttered, which was followed by a groan as the aches and pains all over her body became more apparent as she tried to move.

The door opened and slammed shut. Whale smiled brightly at his patient, “ah, you’re awake,” he continued to walk until he could perch on the edge of the bed, though Emma didn’t even bother to sit herself up, “you gave us all quite the scare.”

Emma frowned, the statement probably somewhat true considering where she lay and how she felt as if she’d been run over by a truck. She looked to Whale then diverted her gaze to Hook.

“She’s only just woken up, mate.”

“Well, yes, Emma.” He sat with one leg crossed over the other as if he were getting comfortable, white coat bunching where he sat and clip board resting against his raised knee. “Unfortunately, we aren’t sure what caused it, but you’ve been unconscious for three days now. We’ve run some scans, but they’ve been inconclusive.”

“Three days?” The last thing Emma remembered was the fight she had gotten into with Hook, followed by a vision and a blinding pain behind her eyes. On a deep breath, she pushed down on both palms until she sat upright. For once, Hook attended to what she needed, by rather quickly arranging the pillows so she could lean back against them. “Where’s my family?”

Hook’s jaw clenched, but Emma was not in the mood or in any current state to be apologizing over something which would make her feel as if she had done something wrong. If Hook was her family or not, it didn’t mean no one else could be part of the equation.

“Your dashing boyfriend is here.” Hook lifted both arms to the side and smirked, “don’t worry love, your parents are at work and Henry is at school.” The smirk only grew cockier and Emma felt the hand which she had placed beneath the covers clench into a fist. He had done that on purpose, not that she would take the bait.

“I can give them a call,” Whale said and stood, ready to escape the growing tension, “informing them you’re awake and I’ll come back later, give you a chance to wake up properly and we can talk more thoroughly. If you need anything just hit the call button.” He slipped through the door as Emma nodded, hoping Regina hadn’t been excluded from Whale’s list too.

***

Emma lay with her back pressed against the tilted bed, eyes closed and hands clasped above her mid-section. She was tempted to alter the bed so it lay flat, let herself get washed up in more sleep, but she fought against the sensation. Three days had already been lost, she didn’t want to miss anymore. Each eye sprung open as the door opened followed by sneakers screeching against the tiled floor. It took a few seconds of the fog around Emma’s brain to clear up enough to witness Henry running towards the bed.

“Mom!” He dived into her side and although Emma had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from letting out a groan, her sides feeling as if they had split in two, she flung an arm around his shoulders to pull him closer.

“Hey…kid.” Emma sucked the air through her teeth and squeezed him closer. His arm had been flung over her stomach, head tucked into the crook of her neck whilst one foot had lifted off the ground due to the awkward angle of the embrace.

“I missed you.” Both of his eyes tightened as he stayed snuggly in Emma’s arm and she pulled him in closer, ignoring the aches of her body as she did so. If she alluded to any of the pain, he would pull away and the need to keep him closer whilst reassuring him everything was okay, was innately stronger. It had been bad enough she had been out cold for three days. It must’ve been what Whale had meant, because there was no way Henry wouldn’t have been worried and for a slither of a second, Emma felt immense guilt.

“I’m okay kid.” He pulled himself away and looked to her with so much concern in his eyes.  

“I see the sheriff has been slacking off again.” Regina entered the room with warm eyes and a smirk. Emma took another moment to breathe in her son, squeezed his shoulder then looked up to the mayor.

Henry moved away and plonked himself on a chair, more at ease now both of his mothers were in the room. Emma lifted her arms and bent them so her hands rested besides her head, “anything to get a day off.”

The clipping of Regina’s heels didn’t stop until she was stood directly next to the bed. On a sigh, she leant a palm on the bed and cupped Emma’s cheek with the other. Their eyes connected. Emma tipped her head into the touch, resting the urge to twist her head and kiss the open palm.

“I’m glad you’re awake.” Regina leant her body closer until her lips hovered above Emma’s head, closed her eyes and pressed them in a gentle kiss. Another kiss followed in quick succession whilst her thumb stroked Emma’s cheek. Emma hummed and both eyes fluttered closed, only opening as Regina pulled away and looked back at her with eyes filled with so much adoration.   

Up until their small fight at the mansion, Emma hadn’t realised how much these visions had been affecting those around her, but as Regina perched on the edge of the bed and took Emma’s hand in her own, did Emma begin to understand how much she meant to the mayor. She curled her fingers gently around those pressing into her palm.

“I’m okay,” she whispered and maybe it wasn’t the whole truth, but Regina nodded and relaxed her shoulders.

Henry jumped off his chair and shuffled towards his mothers. He placed one hand on Emma’s shoulder, then leant into his other mother’s side. Regina kissed his temple then moved her gaze back to Emma, as if she might slip away when she wasn’t looking. Emma swallowed, eyes diverting between the two of them and her heart clenched forcefully.

“I…” Emma slammed her lips shut when she realised what was about to fly from her mouth and who she was about to say it to. Before she could think any further about it, a grumbling came from the side, which had Henry chuckling and going red.

“I’m kind’a hungry.” He stood upright and let the hand which had been on Emma’s shoulder slip to his side. He bit his lip and looked to his other mother with wide eyes. Regina rolled her own, let go off Emma’s hand so she could fling her bag around and rummage through it.

After she had pulled out some money, she passed it to Henry, “not too much sugar and would you please grab me a coffee and anything your mother wants.” They both glanced in Emma’s direction, but she shook her head as her stomach curdled at the thought of food.

“Nothing for me, kid.”

“Okay, thanks mom.” He kissed her cheek then kissed Emma’s cheek before he turned to exit the room. As he reached the door, he turned back and shuffled on the spot. “Are you going to be okay?”

Uncertainty flashed through his young eyes. They might not have witnessed any of the things both of his mothers had tried to protect him from, but Emma knew he had seen too much. Both Emma and Regina had battled darkness, he’d been taken to Neverland and his father had died. It was the tip of the iceberg and now Emma was going to die and she’d hardly thought to how it would eventually affect her son. Deep down, she knew he needed both of them, but it had been so easy to dismiss when she could convince herself of the opposite.

Until now, when she saw her strong boy begin to crumble at the chance of losing his mother.  

“Yes-” she swallowed with the knowledge she couldn’t promise him forever, “I’ll be right here when you get back.” He looked to Regina to wait for her confirmation and when she nodded he placed a hand on the handle, but turned back at the last minute. “Love you, mom.”

Emma teared up and offered a watery smile, “I love you so much, Henry.” She cleared her throat to stop it from wobbling any further and to put his mind at ease, “and as your other parent, I’m giving you permission to get as much junk food as you want.”

His fist pumped into the air, “you’re the best,” then turned and shot out the room.

“What?” Emma looked to her with a cheeky grin and Regina raised her brow in challenge, but the gentle hand she placed over the covers and on top of Emma’s thigh cancelled out the fake annoyance she tried to pull off. Emma sucked in a breath, but otherwise, tried to ignore how good all these sudden touches felt.

“He’s hardly eaten in days.” Regina squeezed her thigh, eyes slipping and hollowing out as the memories took hold, “the first night-” she chuckled through unshed tears and looked directly at Emma, “he wouldn’t leave your side. He ended up on your bed whilst me and your mother took the chairs. Whale was pissed, but Henry can be stubborn and once he realised we weren’t going to be listening to a word he said, he let us stay all night.”

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to scare-”

“Emma-” she squeezed her thigh again, “you don’t need to apologize.”

“But if I’d told you sooner, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.” Regina pulled her hand away and twisted her leg up onto the bed to sit more comfortably.

She tipped her head and frowned, “told me what?”

Emma’s mouth opened and shut whilst she considered what to say. It took one thought of Henry for Emma to sigh and look to Regina, “it was a vision. It was almost as if I could feel the stab wound in my stomach and my head started to feel heavy and there was pain behind my eyes. Then my head went light, I fell and the next thing I know, I’m in here.”

Regina let the information settle and mulled it over, “Whale couldn’t find anything physically wrong with you,” she said, pulling on a thread, “it was driving him insane.”

“What do you think it means?” Emma shuffled and lifted herself up, for the first time, finding herself curious and not just passive, over these visions.

“Well-” she raised her eyebrows and directed a pointed look at Emma, “without researching, I don’t know. But I feel like we’re missing something, we don’t even know where they’re coming from.”

“The saviour bullshit, as usual.” Regina tipped her head and Emma sighed and rolled her eyes, “don’t look at me like that. You know what Aladdin told me, before leaving with Jasmine for their happily ever after. You must know I think it’s utter crap.” The words were out before Emma could stop them and something about them made her…ache, something inside tried to flash and warning bells rang in her mind.  

The saviour felt, innate, to the point where it had been using Emma like a puppet. There was a time when she hadn’t believed then she had, but that never altered her perceptions and doubts. Until the darkness had left and being the saviour had been all she could think to do.

“You’ve never said it outright to me and to be honest, back then I didn’t see past all the saviour stuff and now you’re…you’ve changed.” The words seemed more forced then they should have been. If Emma had changed for the better, then why did everything seem to hard?

“Yeah,” Emma smiled sadly, “I guess I have.” Both hands twiddled in her lap and she looked down to them. Was it a good thing she could hardly remember the person who had first come to Storybrooke? Who was alone and scared of letting anyone in, but loyal and constantly standing up for herself and what she believed in. Before she could voice any of those thoughts, Henry shoved the door open, a load of food in his arms and a coffee balanced in the mix.

Regina jumped off the bed to grab the coffee before he split it, took one look at the amount of junk he had bought and shook her head at Emma. “Thank you, sweetheart,” she kissed his head gently then walked over and took a seat in the chair. Emma was a little more than disappointed, until Henry climbed onto the bed and let all the food drop. The sight of which made Emma’s mouth water and stomach grumble.

“I knew you would just steal mine anyway.” He pushed over a bag of chips for Emma to open and she shoveled them down her throat, the earlier discomfort vanishing.

“Hmmm, thank’id-” she grinned with half eaten chips in her mouth.  

Regina chuckled and contentedly took a sip of her coffee. “A child,” she said, widened her eyes and smiled when Emma looked to her with mirth. Their eyes connected again and Emma realised how lucky she was, for this family and in that moment, she made a promise to herself; she wouldn’t let them go without a fight.

***

They’d kept her in for a few more hours, making sure she could eat and keep foods down and get around without any help, prescribing some pain medication which had already taken its desired effect. The aches in her body were slowly weening off and she found the more she moved, the less she ached. That was until strong fingers gripped around her arm. Hook had made her feel like she had to rely on him in the past, but as his grip tightened she huffed and yanked her arm away, “I’m not an invalid.”

“I was just trying to help.” Both hands were up in surrender, but Emma wasn’t in the mood to tend to his needs. Not when it meant going against her own. There had been a spark sizzling inside after she had spoken to Regina and realised she couldn’t simply roll over and let herself be gutted. If it meant she could live another day to see the sparkle in her son’s eyes then she had to try. The only problem was now she had left Hook’s grasp, there was a sense of guilt lingering. A sense of confusion washed over her and there was a part which preferred it when she had been passive and didn’t have to think.

“Here,” Snow said, wrapping the coat around Emma’s shoulders. Once Emma had shrugged into it, Snow placed both hands on her shoulders and looked directly into Emma’s eyes, “I know this must have been scary, but you’ve finally started to let people in-” her eyes flickered to Hook over Emma’s shoulder then back to those green eyes staring back, “and I know you’re used to pushing people away before someone gets hurt. But we’re here, you have love, don’t push it away because you’re scared.”

Emma fell into a hug, “thanks mom,” she mumbled, glad to have the warmth to keep the doubts at bay. Snow had come to understand her in many ways, so Emma told herself to listen; she could fight for Henry whilst keeping herself open to love. It seemed an easy combination, but for some unknown reason they didn’t fit right in Emma’s mind. Some sleep and she would start to pick apart what it meant. She didn’t particularly want to, but for Henry…perhaps she could talk it out with Regina.  

“Are you all ready?” Snow pulled away and Emma nodded. They grabbed Emma’s things and headed out of the hospital room to where the rest of Emma’s family waited. None of them would leave until she had gotten the all clear, no matter what she had said. Hook hovered behind her, uncertain in ways he had never been, but Emma shook it off to think about later. The list of things continued to grow and she groaned internally, but she had made that promise. There was no one else who knew of it, but it meant something to Emma.

David, Regina and Henry all smiled when Emma came out, the latter rushing over to Emma’s side as they all made their way to the exit. “I know this isn’t my weekend and it’s already Friday evening, but could I come back with you? We could just watch a movie or something.” He shrugged, but there were bags no teenager should have under their eyes. Emma wrapped an arm around his shoulder-

“Emma needs her rest, lad.” Hook placed a hand on her lower back. Henry’s shoulders slouched and he looked up to Emma with wide eyes. She was stuck between them and opened her mouth to try and say something when nothing came out. She had planned to go straight to sleep when she reached her bed, but Henry’s company would be welcome under any circumstance. Hook was only trying to look out for her, but she didn’t know who she should let down.

“Your mother is going to be okay, Henry.” Regina wrapped an arm around his waist, him being trapped between his two mothers, “why don’t we let her get some rest and then you can kick her butt on that video game you’ve been eyeing up for weeks.” Regina winked at him, knowing she would eventually cave and buy him the game then looked to Emma with a nod.

“Yeah kid, I’m gunna be a snooze fest. I’ll rest up and in the meantime Regina can buy you that awesome game and I can beat your ass.” She kissed his head and the weight against her back left, the three of them creating the family unit they only wished they could be.

“Next weekend I’m sure you’ll both be back to shoveling pizza and junk into your mouth whilst you play those ridiculous games for hours.” Regina rubbed Henry’s back with one hand, moving it up until she could give a gentle squeeze to Emma’s arm. Their eyes met over their son and Emma smiled softly in thanks. Then they all pulled apart, Hook joining them from behind as they all caught up to Emma’s parents.

“That was one time!” Emma said and turned to face them just before they reached the double doors. “And for the record, we switched between video games and movies.” Perhaps they had spent two days straight eating various types of junk food and ordering take out, whilst they had made their way through a list of movies and played so many different video games Emma had felt as if her eyes were about the fall from her eyes when Sunday night hit.

Regina rolled her eyes, “like that’s a distinction.”

“That was such an awesome weekend. Could we do it again sometime, mom?” Emma turned to him, ruffled his hair and smiled. It fell quickly. She didn’t know how many weekends she would have left.

Emma had wanted every weekend, but Hook had whined and asked then they would spend time together. As usual, she had caved and found herself wondering why she hadn’t fought for more time with her son, when it was precious and there was a time where she wouldn’t have missed a second.

“Of course.” Emma pushed up her cheeks and her eyes gleamed as she pulled him into a hug. Over his shoulder, she looked up at Regina as her bottom lip trembled and stomach clenched so forcefully it had her arms tightening around him. All Emma had to do was nod for Regina to place a hand on Emma’s wrist. She nodded back in understanding and Emma swallowed down hard before she pulled away.

“We’ll get going.” Regina squeezed Henry’s shoulder and they all made their way out of the doors to where Snow and David were stood waiting, somehow knowing not to intrude on their moment. Hook followed and looped his hook over Emma’s bicep. One she tugged on until he let her go with a shake of his head. She spun quickly instead of reacting like her gut was urging her to do.

“I’ll see you both soon,” she said as Regina wrapped an arm over Henry’s shoulders.

“Bye mom.”

“When you’re ready, call me.” Their eyes spoke in volumes words never could. Emma nodded and smiled before they both turned away. She didn’t take her eyes off them, feeling as if a part of her was being torn away. She shuffled in the car park, gulped then spun until she was in Hook’s arms. She pressed her lips to his, but it didn’t seem to replace the weight which pushed on her stomach.

Emma kept on kissing him until his arms wrapped themselves around her waist and she kept on kissing him until she could tell herself it was what she wanted. There wasn’t a part which felt missing. He pulled away first and lifted a brow, “I’m not complaining, but-” he tipped his head towards her parents. She twisted her head and blushed, smiling shyly like a young girl caught in the act. It dropped when it became uncomfortable, even though she had been doing just that for months.

“Emma.” Snow smiled as she made her way to them and enveloped Emma in a tight embrace, “don’t hesitate to call.” Emma leant her chin on her mother’s shoulder, hummed and let herself be held. It had taken a long time for them to build a connection where she could feel comfort. Upon pulling away, many of Hook’s words floated to her mind; how he had been the one to help her reach that place. She smiled at him and pushed away any doubt.

“I’ll be fine.”

Emma paused, but the moment passed and she let it go. Next was a hug from her father, one she melted into before they said their goodbyes and left. Snow and David intertwined their fingers as they walked to their truck and Emma stared at the gesture, the weight pushing down. She did the same with Hook’s hand, but she didn’t feel the need to peck his lips like Snow had with her husband, the pair smiling and bumping hips.

“Shall we get you home, Swan?” Emma nodded tightly and tried for a smile. The sudden mood shift wasn’t his fault. She squeezed his hand and lead them to the bug.

The loneliness hit as she slid into the passenger’s seat. Both arms wrapped around her middle. The door slammed shut to her side, followed by Hook fumbling with the keys. She presumed he had drove it here, not that he had asked if it were okay. Emma found that she didn’t care. He seemed pleased enough with himself after he had gotten the engine started and pulled out of the car park.

Emma curled on her side the best she could in the small space, head leant against the window as it buzzed against her skull. Each eye closed on a sigh and suddenly, those bad thoughts returned. She fought them off by reminding herself she had what she wanted. He was her true love and to be happy, she had to give him his happy ending. She repeated it over and over for the entire journey, but no matter how many times it looped around her mind, the seed of doubt had planted itself and tiny part wouldn’t let herself believe it to be true.


	5. Chapter 5

“What do you mean I shouldn’t go into work tomorrow?” Emma threw her hands into the air, already sick of the house she hadn’t left in two days. Hook’s protective mode had flared to life and he had wanted Emma to be with him at all times. The weekend she hadn’t minded so much, content to simply laze around and watch movies whilst cuddling on the couch. An excuse to stop things going further for each time he would try to initiate something more.

“I’m just looking out for you.” He threaded his arms around Emma’s waist and leant his chest back to look down into her eyes, “the thought of losing you scares me and there was a time I would never have admitted that to anymore. You’ve changed me, Swan.” His willingness to change for her was one more reason she had to stay. She owed him this.

Emma stood on her tiptoes and planted their lips together, moaning at the appropriate times and accepted the tongue which had been pushed between her lips. “I’m okay,” she murmured against his lips, gripping onto his leather jacket to keep him close. When the need for air took over, she broke away, but stayed firmly within far too constrictive arms. “If I stay in this house any longer, I’m going to go crazy. I need do stuff and get out and I’ve already been out of work for a week.”

“What if something happens to you and I’m not there to help you? I can’t bear to see you hurt.” He used one finger to move a strand of hair behind Emma’s ear, before he moved in and kissed her softly. Emma could tell he was trying to pull her back to him, but this time the tenderness didn’t make her feel wanted.

“I can’t stay at home for every time something bad happens. Besides, I’ll be out of the house tomorrow night anyway.” She made her way to the bedroom draw and pulled out an oversized shirt to sleep in.

“Do you really think Regina will want to see you like this?”

She spun around, t-shirt balled into her fist, “what’s that supposed to mean?” The anger morphed and she felt like an animal trapped in a corner, ready to fight back. She _was_ seeing the pattern. Arms crossed tightly around her chest and she stared him down.

“Nothing, love. All I meant is she’ll want you to take care of yourself.” He was back in her personal space, hands on her hips and looked at her as if she were prey, “unless you’re telling me you’re feeling a lot better-” he licked his lips and continued to stare more than suggestively.

Not in the mood, she sighed and pulled away, “maybe another day off won’t hurt me,” she said, a little more than sullen. Desperate to see Regina and Henry since they had left had Emma’s heart sink. There was a bubble of excitement ready to pop after she had decided to ask Regina for help. One which just burst. “I’m gunna get ready for bed.”

The monotone to her voice came back in floods. In the bathroom both hands gripped onto the sink’s edge as she stared at her reflection. “You’re happy. Don’t throw it away.” The eyes which looked back told a different story. One of a childhood filled with loneliness; an adulthood filled with loss. Pain so delicate she had thought she had shut it away. Replaced it with her parent’s expectations and convinced herself it was enough.

She threw her shirt over her head and spun around to block them from view, shutting down any thought which had the potential to ruin the good things she had finally gotten. Not sure if those good things were being torn to shreds in the meantime.

***

The way Hook slept like a dead weight meant Emma had been able to get ready and slip out for work without him waking. She had called Regina the moment the door had shut behind her and was on the way to her office. Phone switched off and shoved into her jacket pocket.

“Hey.” Emma walked into the mayor’s office with a hesitant smile, stopping in front of the desk. Some uncertainty over her decision had flared over the weekend, but already it washed off in waves. Regina had always been a grounding presence, she only hoped she was making the right decision. It felt as if she were waking up from a foggy dream only to find she was still dreaming and unable to fully wake.

Regina leant back on her chair and smiled, “I cleared my morning, thought we could talk.”

Emma licked her lips at the button which looked as if it were about to pop, pulled her eyes up at the last minute and concentrated on the brown orbs which stared intently. Regina was wearing something so simple, black blazer, skirt and heels with a blouse, yet she pulled it off with effortless ease. Emma couldn’t remember the last time the mayor had caught her attention for her to gulp and shove the thoughts away.

“Or you just missed me.” Emma grinned cheekily, bent her elbows to slide them into the jacket pockets, pulling the material tighter around the flowery shirt she’d thrown on without thought. On seconds thoughts, she zipped the jacket up entirely.

“I see someone’s ego has inflated.” Regina stood then opened the draw. With raised brows, she lifted out a box which had Emma’s mouth water. Slowly, she opened the lid with a smirk.

“You are the freaking best.” Emma went straight for a bear claw. The last time she had had one of these was a distant memory. Her moan echoed throughout the office and the treat was devoured in seconds.

Regina leant against the desk next to where Emma licked each finger with over dramatic flair. “Take as many as you like, dear.” She had hoped some comfort food might help Emma to relax a little and maybe she could finally get her to talk. Emma grabbed another, had it half way to her mouth when she eyed Regina over it.

“So, this is a bribe?” Emma could read Regina far more easily than even she was aware of and when Regina rolled her eyes and walked to the couch, Emma knew she had gotten one over on the mayor. She followed, placed the box on the table, chewed off a bite then fell backwards onto the couch. “Course t’is.”

“Would you except anything less?” Emma chuckled then tipped her head as Regina grabbed one of the sugary doughnuts. “Oh don’t look at me like that, I like to indulge from time to time and there’s twelve doughnuts, do you really believe you could eat them all?”

“Err...yeah.” Perhaps not all of them, but it was fun to tease. Her body slouched, one arm flung around the back of the couch, almost as if they were sat in the back of a movie theatre and Emma was pulling the age-old trick. Regina simply twisted, lay her side against the couch, dangerously close to having Emma’s arm wrapped around her shoulders and met Emma’s gaze.

Emma couldn’t explain it. If this had happened a week ago, she would’ve spent the entire time shuffling and refusing to make eye contact. Not hiding the shirt she suddenly hated and trying to ignore the need inside which demanded she get closer.

“You’re worse than our son. Anyways, Emma, would you like to talk? How’ve you been?” Emma was too confused to answer that question. One moment she had been resolute about fighting, the next she had been lying stiff in bed next to the person she should be fighting for.

“Alright-” she shrugged, not really in the mood for this conversation. She much preferred the company and the doughnuts that went with it, “not had a vision since I fainted, feel fine, now can we get back to the part where you’re going to admit you missed me?” Emma’s face lit up and she gave Regina a lopsided smile.

Regina shook her head and began to poke Emma in her ribs, “in-suff-er-able,” she said, poking Emma on each syllable.

“Admit it.” Emma pouted and waited for Regina’s reaction, already wishing for more touch. She _was_ acting like a child and knew it, but if it got a rise out of Regina then it would be worth the fun, if she could keep Regina in a playful mood and not push into a downright awful one.

“Perhaps, Miss Swan.” She looked to Emma with a pointed glare, head tipping forwards and lips parting slightly. Emma felt her breath hitch, brought back to their earlier interactions when she couldn’t tell if Regina wanted to kill her or push her into a wall and kiss her senseless. She would’ve preferred the latter and had almost forgotten how much until that moment.

Emma rolled her eyes to mask the sudden shift, “I can’t believe we’re back to that.”

“I think it’s you who missed me and that is what this is really about.” Emma met her gaze and it sparked the sensation she used to hide when they would fight. They had been nasty, but now they’d reached this…place, Emma could look back on them with an odd sense of fondness.

“You’re deflecting.” Emma pulled her legs up to sit cross legged, left hand lightly gripping her boot as her other gripped onto the edge of the couch. She longed to move an inch to run fingers through Regina’s hair. Her stomach flipped at the thought and the lies Emma had told herself seemed to disintegrate. The fluffy feelings had been so very present after Regina had finally allowed her in as a friend. She hadn’t wanted to push her luck. Had been too scared that they were real feelings…for a woman…whose past was intertwined with her own.

Then she couldn’t imagine a second where Regina could get hurt, sacrificing herself to the darkness, for the darkness to latch onto the man who was safe, the man which meant her parents wouldn’t reject her, the man who would ultimately push those fluffy feelings so far down she had forgotten they even existed.  

“As are you.”

“I asked first.”

“I’ve never known anyone to be as child-like as you.” Regina chuckled and their eyes met in fake annoyance, but the moment they did, brown orbs softened and wouldn’t look away, “I missed you,” she whispered then cleared her throat and broke the contact. “There, now you’re turn.”

Purple smoke appeared out of nowhere, cutting Emma off before she had a chance to gloat. Regina’s hand flew to Emma’s left wrist the moment the evil queen appeared and smiled at them both.

The queen smiled and took a few paces closer to them, shimming her shoulders with glee, “isn’t this cozy?”

Emma glanced at Regina, mouth slightly open and lifted her brows at her confused expression. Regina squeezed her wrist once before she pulled it away, stood and sighed. Loudly. “What do you want, queenie?” Her hands went to her hips as she stared her other half down.

“I came to see how our patient was doing?” Her voice was mockingly sweet as she spoke to Emma, “did you enjoy your little nap?”

Emma pulled her legs out from underneath her and stood. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Although, she had been feeling momentarily better, now she stood by Regina’s side with the knowledge that if the queen were to try anything with magic, she wouldn’t be able to help. It made her deflate internally. She hadn’t once tried to use her magic since it had failed before she’d fainted.

“Aren’t I allowed to be concerned from my son’s other mother’s welfare?” A hand went to her chest, whilst the fake caring smile morphed to that of a smirk. “Though, I guess neither of you are concerned for me. What example are you setting that boy?”

“A better one than you,” Regina was quick to spit out, but her voice wavered on the last word. Both eyes closed and she shook her head, “just tell us what you want.”

“How about some new clothes?” Emma crossed her arms and gained confidence where she had been lacking for so long. The magic side worried her, but inside, something had…shifted since the hospital visit. Not to mention, since the queen had been popping up more often to spurt out riddles, they’d been interacting differently. The queen was more like Madame mayor then Emma had initially realised. Once that had settled in, she understood how this part was as much Regina as the other. “I’m surprised you’re still standing.”

“Emma,” Regina hissed, “now is not the time.” She widened her eyes at the younger woman, but Emma simply shrugged and offered a sheepish smile. Regina hadn’t been around to witness how their…interactions had altered.

“There are plenty of shops you could steal from or I’m sure Regina wouldn’t mind lending you something more comfortable.” Emma stood her ground whilst the queen smiled widely and made her way closer to the infuriating blonde woman. The sparkling purple dress cupped her breasts nicely and Emma had to swallow not to look.

“Stealing is beneath me,” she said, eyes drooping as she walked closer, “and why would I want to go around looking like a peasant?”

“You dated a thief. You’re hardly one to judge.” Regina stiffened and Emma mentally kicked herself, not having meant to cause Regina any pain.

“Touché, dear.” The queen chuckled slightly, took a step backwards and glared at Emma. A split second later, both hands shot upwards, followed by a stream of purple magic-

Blocked by a stream of light magic.

Regina stood with her fingers stretched towards where their magic had combined. It fell flat. The queen rolled her eyes so dramatically they almost fell out of her head. Regina took a step sideways, arm outstretched and placed it in front of an unmoving Emma.

It was the second time this had happened. Before she had fainted, there had never been a time she hadn’t been able to call her magic to defend herself. Not even when the concept had been completely foreign and she’d almost fallen to her death from a collapsed bridge.

“You’re such a bore, Regina.” Both eyes widened as she smiled widely, “but at least I got my answers.”

Emma and Regina looked to each other for answers they couldn’t even begin to understand. “And what answers would that be?”

Emma was glad Regina had asked. She remained lost in thought over her lack of action. Regina glanced in her direction and Emma shrugged in return, just as lost as Regina appeared to be.

“I wasn’t ready,” the words came out shaky, the confidence sliding like an avalanche. The tingle ran up her arm, but Emma gritted her teeth to hide any reaction, tensed her arm and swallowed on the emotion. Partly to keep concern from the corner of Regina’s eyes; for a moment, they’d forgotten and simply enjoyed each other’s presence.

Emma wished she was still numb. Since the hospital, it was no longer an option. Not if she wanted to fight for her son. The promise remained even if it had been fading for each day she had been cooped up, but it hadn’t dissipated completely.

The queen’s eyes less than subtly fell to the quivering hand and she lifted a brow up at Emma, “you’re weak and getting weaker and you know it.” She’d purred the words out as if enjoying every single one of them.

“Emma?” Regina turned around to face her, took one look at Emma and spun completely around until their eyes met, “hey, what’s wrong? Did you have a vision?” The wrinkle lines around in her eyes returned and it made Emma feel guilty. She shook her head, unable to find her voice again. It had been the beginning of one, but had somehow stopped before she had witnessed herself dying.

“She’s right.” Green eyes flickered to the queen then back to Regina. Her body was stiff, but Regina lifted a palm to silence Emma then spun around abruptly.

“How exactly would you know that? Are you causing them?” Regina folded her arms and regarded her other self. Emma thought about it for a moment, wondering if it were even possible, but no matter how hard Regina had tried to get Emma to fight against them, she had never allowed herself to think beyond them being part of the saviour package.

The loud chuckle pulled Emma away from the thoughts which were becoming more persistent and hard to ignore. Part of her wanted to go back to Hook, to spend her days wedding planning and going through the motions until it was all over. But the fight Regina was still holding onto after everything which had happened, gave Emma a slight flicker of hope.

“I am flattered you would bid me the sole person responsible for this?” The queen wore a wide smile, practically jumped with joy and chuckled again, both hands going to the apex of her chest, resting over where her heart would be. “I mean, truly, that you think I’m the cause of something that spectacular. I shall take that as a compliment.”

Regina’s hands clenched by her sides, but before she could let out a single burst of anger, a laugh and purple smoke were all that remained in the queen’s place. Emma stared at the spot Regina shook her head at. Emma remained in place as heels clipped and Regina took her place back on the couch. “If she’s responsible…”

“We can’t know that.” Emma softened her voice and sat next to Regina. Once again, an arm rested against the back of the couch as she slouched against it. Regina regarded her and nodded tightly. Emma wanted to reach out, but the moment wasn’t right. It never was.

“I regret that.” Regina chuckled, a gleam overtaking her eyes, “when you asked me if I had regrets. I didn’t want to admit it, but-”

“But nothing, what’s done is done.” When it came to Regina, Emma would always fight. It took seeing that pain in many forms over this past week to be reminded of that. “We don’t know what she’s up to, apart from the magic blasting, she…seems so random.”

“It’ll make sense once we know what she wants.”

Regina shuffled and broke their gaze. She stared at the ground and contemplated her next words. After a deep breath, those eyes searched out Emma’s, the reluctance to give in flashed behind them, “whatever it is, we can fight it.”

Emma swallowed at the repetitive statement, but as a, “yeah,” formed itself on her lips, she nodded again, a little more emphatically, “maybe we can.” Regina sighed whilst her lips spread a little wider. She tilted her head to rest against the back of the couch and lifted her hand across her body to grip gently onto the wrist next to her head.

“We can.” Those fingers squeezed a little tighter and she looked at Emma as if she were proud.

***

With a sheepish grin, Emma fell back onto the dining room chair, hands clasped over her middle. “That was so good, Regina, but-”

“But?” Regina raised a brow as she stood and collected the empty plates from the table. No one messed with her cooking and if Emma were about to say something other than positive then she would be stuck with the dishes.

“Mom,” Henry warned to Emma, “mom’s giving you that look and I really want to have both my moms by tomorrow.” Emma felt the punch to the gut, but masked any emotion. She had planned to talk to Regina tonight and his simple statement gave Emma the little push she had needed. It wasn’t as if she had managed to escape her house with ease, which meant the doubts had effortlessly creeped back in.

“Nothing bad.” Why did they think she was going to say something bad? She’d cleared her plate quicker than all of them. “I was just wondering if there were any more doughnuts.” The smile was back, but Regina remained as if she were ready to conjure a fireball and burn Emma alive. It was a façade and had Emma smiling even more.

“There’s doughnuts?” Henry was up and out of his seat, quickly grabbing some cutlery to help his mother out. He was by her side with puppy eyes which had Regina intensify her gaze towards Emma.

“You already ate four, Miss Swan and now you want to fill our son with that crap.” Regina knew how to keep a poker face. To the extent Emma didn’t always know when she was joking or not. This time she laughed, stood and pinched her fingers between the three empty glasses, them clanking as she picked them up in one hand.

“Don’t give me that look, you ate two and don’t try to deny it.” Emma hadn’t been surprised, although it might seem odd to others, Emma was aware of her secret chocolate stash and the sweet tooth Regina tried to hide.

“You guys only ever let me have one.” Henry pouted and crossed his arms, kicking his foot along the floor as if there was a ball. Both Emma and Regina glared at him, until he popped his head up and shrugged. “Okaaaay, maybe that’s not true.”

“Fine. They’re in the kitchen, but help me with the dishes first, both of you and don’t complain to me when you have stomach ache.” Regina spun on her heel, grinning from ear to ear now neither of them could see her face. It was always fun to tease her family and they gave as much as they got.

Emma bumped her shoulder with Henry’s, “last one in the kitchen is a loser and doesn’t get any doughnuts.”

“I’m not a kid mom.” Emma raised a brow, the moment she did, Henry smirked and ran straight into the kitchen. Emma raced after him, the pair giggling as they pushed through the door. The simplicity of the moment filled Emma with so much joy, she momentarily forgot she had a wedding to attend in less than three weeks and there was a chance she might not make it that long.

After they’d finished and Henry had gone to his room, they went into the next room with a fresh bottle. Emma sat on the one side of the couch and when Regina sat down, she stretched out her legs so they rested on top of Regina’s thighs.

“Comfy, dear?” Regina raised a brow, but otherwise, she didn’t want Emma to move her legs away. It felt almost intimate. And they were warm.

“Yup.” Emma shrugged and took a sip of her wine to stop from giggling. Regina rolled her eyes, but in an instant, a hand was placed on Emma’s ankle where she squeezed gently. “Anyway, Regina, I…I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Anything, Emma,” she said softly, eyes connecting momentarily.

Emma traced the edge of the wine glass with the tip of her finger, not sure how to phrase any of this. There was still something in the back of her mind. It told her to leave, curl up with Hook and stay within the safety blanket his arms provided until the vision was over. “Will you help me?”

“Help you? With…the visions.” Emma nodded and bit her lip. Regina’s voice had raised in pitch and it had Emma’s heart rate speeding as she waited for more. “Emma-” she sighed in relief which prompted Emma to lift her head up, “of course, we will fight this. What made you change your mind?”

“Henry.” It was plain and simple. Perhaps the pain she hadn’t known to be causing her best friend added to that, but it had been Henry to open her eyes. “I can’t leave him. I kept telling myself he would be fine without me, he has you, you know?”

Regina looked as if she didn’t know what to do with the statement. Emma couldn’t blame her; it wasn’t as if she was receptive of Henry’s mother in the beginning. “You know he needs both of us.” The words were thick and Regina swallowed, thumb starting to brush along the material covering Emma’s legs.

“I know.” The conversation seemed to start and end there. Neither of them said another word, content to sit in a comfortable silence and sip their wine, a hand softly moving up and down Emma’s shin. She sighed and leant her head against the back of the couch. “I had a fight with Hook. Happens every week.”

“Here’s me thinking you had the perfect relationship everyone should be inspiring for.”

“Regina.”

“Trouble in paradise?” Part of Regina wanted to gloat, the other didn’t want to hurt Emma. She kept her voice neutral and took another sip of the wine as she waited for a response.

“Dunno.” Emma shrugged, already regretting bringing the topic up. They might have gotten into a little spat as she had tried to leave, but Hook was concerned for her safety. There weren’t many people who had much cared in the past. She should be grateful. A large gulp of her wine was consumed, followed by both shoulders slumping and the numbness returned, which ran to the tips of her fingers. It made Emma want to curl up in a ball, cry and tell herself nobody would love her.

“You can talk to me about it.” Emma looked down and bit her lip to stop it from trembling. The awful thoughts had been persistent during her childhood and teenage years. She had learned to harden herself to them, but recently, the feelings attached had been strong.

“The two don’t mix in my mind and I don’t know why.” Emma latched onto the thought she’d had when they’d been leaving the hospital. It was a conundrum and left her confused.

“The two of what?”

A long silence accompanied them. During which time, Emma finished the glass of wine, reached for the bottle and poured herself another. They had decided to stick to white that evening which was already turning out to be a good idea. “Being with him and fighting.”

“I don’t understand, Emma.” Perhaps there was a little thought in the back of Regina’s mind, not that she was ready to voice it. She could and risk pushing Emma in the opposite direction and if she were to put it into words, it would gut them both.

“It’s like I’m either with Hook and happy for the time I have left or I try to fight which seems to make me and him fight when we never really used to.” Emma had always backed down and let Hook walk all over her in the past. She knew it was true, whether she wanted to admit it or not.

“Is there a reason you’re fighting more? Maybe it’s not what you think.” Or want to think, Regina almost added. She had seen how Emma had shifted and morphed to lower herself to him, how she had altered herself so she would align with her parent’s beliefs, but Regina had kept this quiet, too afraid she would lose Emma if she were to say as much out loud.

“The thought of being with him forever scares me,” she whispered, swallowed then looked up to meet Regina’s eyes, searching them for safety, “my mom told me not to push him away when I get scared. I think that’s what I’m doing, being difficult so it’ll cause fights and make things bad between us.”

Regina tipped her head and nodded slowly, wanting to grip Emma’s shoulders and shake her. “Why is it your fault?” Okay, so she hadn’t meant to have said that, but if she were ever going to get Emma in any shape to fight against this hooded figure, then she had to push.

“I-” she frowned and contemplated it for a moment, “I don’t know. It’s always me who has to apologize, seems like it’s my fault.” Hook wanting to protect her wasn’t his fault, she was the one stubborn enough to think she was fine when she had had a vision the moment she had left Regina’s office that afternoon.

“Why are you pushing him away?”

“Regina,” Emma chuckled to mask her discomfort, “what’s with all of the questions?”

“Answer it.”

“I just told you I’m scared.”

“Why are you scared?” Regina was going to push, there wasn’t much time left for her to be delicate. That was never her strong suit either. She kept one hand on the bottom of Emma’s leg, almost like an anchor.

“Because…forever is a long time.”

“Then why did you agree to marry him? Seems like a stupid choice if you’re not sure.” Regina sipped her wine and glanced at Emma.

“What? I want to marry him, but forever is hard and my track record for commitment isn’t the best.” Emma began to feel bombarded and wanted the questioning to stop. Knowing Regina, it wasn’t about to happen any time soon.

“Marriage is forever, you must’ve known that when you said yes.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“But, what?”?

“But, nothing, I want to marry him. He’s my true love, he’s…”

“Emma…but what?”

“Nothing!” Her legs jolted in Regina’s lap. “Regina, stop with these questions.”

“I’ll stop when you answer.”

“There’s nothing more to say.” Emma ran fingers through her hair and had to sigh at the building tension in her chest.

“Why the but?” Regina stared her down, some tough love might do her good.

“I don’t know, there’s no but.”

“You said it.”

“I don’t know, Regina, I don’t know. When I said yes, the visions had already started, what difference would it make if I married him?”

Regina smirked, “and there’s your answer.”

“What? I-” her mouth slammed shut as she considered her words, “I didn’t mean it like that.” Had she? Emma had found the ring and had been more than grateful she had come across it, mainly because her negative reaction happened when nobody had been around. Then she’d convinced herself it would be the right thing to do by everyone and not once had she considered herself.

“Then why don’t the two of them mix?” Emma considered it. Thought perhaps Regina was wrong. There was some other explanation. The longer she sat and thought, the more it made sense. If she were to die anyway, what difference would it make if she were to marry Hook and give him his happy ending? But if it wasn’t what she wanted, then continuing this path whilst fighting the visions became a lot more complicated.

Emma put her wine glass down then wrapped her arms around her middle, tears pricking her eyes, “thanks for making me cry,” she pouted and looked down, not mad at Regina, but she did need someone to blame, “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“I’m just trying to help you. You don’t owe anyone anything.” Regina squeezed just above Emma’s knee which had Emma lifting her red rimmed eyes, “you need to start thinking about yourself, Emma.” She nodded and looked back down, a little disappointed as Regina moved her hand away. She grabbed Emma a tissue and passed it over.

“Thanks.” Emma dabbed under her eyes, “how do we even fight them?” Her voice was small, unsure and she very much felt it.

“I honestly have no idea. We need to find the origins, figure out where they’re coming from and then we can go from there.” Other than that Regina was stumped. It wasn’t usual for someone to wake up one morning and to start seeing a vision of their future. She didn’t buy into what Aladdin had told Emma either, considering he was still alive. Something or someone was the cause and if they could figure out what, they could find a way to put a stop to them. “What happened before you fainted? Did you notice anything unusual?”

“Not really. The pain was more intense and the headache was awful, I was hungover and Hook was annoyed at me over something. I remember seeing it and feeling as if I’d been stabbed. I tried to call for my magic when my head went light, but…” she hung her head and thought how she hadn’t managed to use it yet.

“Don’t worry about that, we’ll get your magic back. Anything else you can remember?”

“Nothing-” she chuckled a little, “I had this weirdest dream though, before I woke up. I dreamt I was driving, I think I was running away from something. Sounds like me, but…erm, I appeared in the road-”

“You saw yourself?” Regina raised a brow and wondered if Emma’s alcohol induced mind had been the cause.

“Well, me, when I was the dark one. I was stood in the middle of the road, so I swerved and my car ended up in this river. I managed to get out, but I remember standing on the edge and feeling helpless as I lost my things. Then I woke up.” Emma shrugged, she’d remembered it because of how odd it had seemed.

“I do remember how much red wine you had had that night. Might want to lay off that glass.” Emma rolled her eyes, glad the tears had dried up and she no longer had to think about him.

“I needed to shut my mind off. I know it was weird, stop giving me that look.” Regina chuckled and broke their gaze. It didn’t help in the slightest and perhaps this was going to be a challenge, but for Emma, it was worth it. “Anyway, are we going to talk to Henry?”

“I think we need to. I’ve mentioned Violet once or twice and he shuts the conversation down. Very unlike him.” Regina did wonder if his mothers’ reluctance to share had been passed down to him. She had hoped he would come to them first, but it seemed they were going to have to go to him. “Maybe you could come over tomorrow evening.”

Emma grimaced, “Wednesday?” Being out two nights in a row would undoubtedly set Hook off and she had planned for them to sit down and have a nice dinner together.

Regina nodded in understanding.


	6. Chapter 6

Emma was almost out of the door…almost, until Hook came up from behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and started planting kisses to her neck. “Change of plans, my love,” he said then peppered a few more kisses, “why don’t you spend the night with your dashing boyfriend?” She tensed immediately after spending at least thirty seconds trying to enjoy the attention.

Hands going on top of his wrists, she pulled on them until his grip loosened, held them by her side as she stepped out of his grasp. “Killian,” she said, moving towards the door, “we do this every time I try to leave the house.”

“If you bothered to spend any time with me at all, Swan,” he said, both arms elevating to the side whilst he shook his head, “then I wouldn’t be so against you doing everything for everyone else. I’m just asking for one night.” He started moving slowly towards her, softening his features and Emma very nearly felt bad for him. She was supposed to be marrying him, but here she was, preferring to spend her time in the company of another.

“Killian-” her hand went to his chest, “I was with you all last weekend.” Her guilt began to dwindle, “and I need to talk to my kid.” It was important she be there for him, but she could no longer delude herself into believing it was the only reason she enjoyed the evenings involving those she called family.

“You were sick, I don’t see how that counts. Not when we couldn’t have any fun.” His hands came to the bottom of the tank top she’d thrown on after digging it out the back of her closet, moving aside the jacket she’d put on to accompany it. Hands going straight to his wrists and one metal hook, she yanked his hands away and pulled the door open so forcefully it nearly smacked her in the face.

“We’re not doing this again.” She was tired and perhaps not only due to vision after vision, but feeling obliged and trapped and if she didn’t get out of that house she might have done something drastic to his face. It had come to light since she’d fainted, that he hadn’t once shown any concern over the fact she would die .

“Swan,” he called as she paced down the path, throwing herself into the bug and pulling away from the house as quickly as she could. She didn’t look back, not caring if he remained on the steps to her house or had retreated inside.

She turned on the radio and for the first time in what had felt like the dullest, never ending cycle of nothing, she sang her heart out to an old journey song, allowing her worries to fade into the background as she made her way to one of the only places she hadn’t lost herself within.

***

One on either side of him, Henry looked between his mothers and shrugged, “I like Violet, I don’t know why you’re making a big deal of out this.”

Emma twisted her head to regard her son, seeing so much uncertainty it made her head spin. This was Henry; when he was sure of something, he was resilient in his belief. The curse came straight to Emma’s mind.

This was no longer a ten year old, who’d latched on to anything to make sense of the senseless things in his life. The mother who had looked to him, the love hiding beneath careful eyes, the same one who now gripped tightly onto his hand and gave him a reassuring smile.

“Henry, all we want is for you to be happy.” Her eyes flickered to Emma before they returned to Henry and Emma tried to brush it off as them agreeing on the subject, even if she knew it was Regina’s way to tell them both something they needed to hear. “Making yourself unhappy to please someone else isn’t a very good foundation for a relationship. I know it might be scary, to hurt someone else’s feelings, especially if they still want something you don’t, but you’re only going to be hurting both of you in the long run. And, what I’m trying to say-”

“I never said I wasn’t happy, you’re jumping to conclusions, both of you.” He looked to his mother than at Emma, stood and spun around to face them, “and neither of you are in a position to tell me what to do in a crappy relationship considering you both suck at them.”

“Henry!” Regina stood and was about to go after her son when Emma reached out and lightly gripped her hand.

“We probably hit a nerve,” she said, cheeks suddenly heating and she dropped the hand so quickly hurt flashed across Regina’s eyes. Emma wanted to apologise, seemingly messing up all her relationships in one go. “He’ll come to us. We let him know we’re here-” she shrugged and stood, hands slipping into her jeans, “that’s all we can do.”

Regina sighed, eyes subtly roaming Emma’s change in clothing, “I hope so. I know he’s getting moodier and less like our sweet boy, but those out bursts are getting more frequent.”

Emma couldn’t help but chuckle, especially after the teenagers she’d been around, heck, even she had been worse than her son, “honestly, Regina, you’ve nothing to worry about. I’m sure we’ll have a few more of these, but he’ll be fine.”

“We will,” Regina said pointedly and it had Emma deflating inside, knowing she’d set up another mine field. She’d already promised they would raise Henry together, as they’d been surrounded my mirrors and Regina had confessed she was scared, whilst deflecting what she’d really been scared about.

Emma squeezed Regina’s arm, “yeah,” she said, waiting for Regina to look to her so she could offer up even the tiniest of hopeful smiles, “but I do need to get back-” unless she wanted to prove her son right and end the one relationship she’d somehow managed to do right…well; he hadn’t left.

“Why does Henry think we have crappy relationships? I’m not exactly saying we’re the best examples, he’s only ever seen me with…Robin,” she said, swallowing down on the last word. It hadn’t been that long, but at least she could say his name now, that was an improvement.

Emma bit her lip and shrugged, “how would I know?”

“What?” Regina crossed her arms and looked to Emma in utter confusion and it made her heart clench and had Emma almost pull Regina in for a tight hug; she’d thought her own self-worth was bad.

“Nothing.” Regina tipped her head at the quick response, lifted both eyebrows and waited for a more truthful response. “Well, I know it might still be a sore spot, but…Robin wasn’t exactly…” she paused, trying to find the right words to express what she’d always felt, but was never able to put a voice to, “I thought you could’ve done better than him, that’s all.”

“I…” her mouth slammed shut, followed by an, “oh,” and a deep frown as she gazed into Emma’s eyes as if she was trying to find any malice. “Why?” her voice cracked on the syllable and Emma saw so much vulnerability it made her appreciate how much trust Regina had finally put into her.

“Why wouldn’t any choose you?” Emma said matter-of-factly. Although she would not feel guilt over saving a life, causing Regina pain did make Emma feel terrible. Until she shifted some of the blame over to the man who had blown a chance to be loved by a woman who may not love easily, but who loved deeply and with everything she had.

“It was complicated, Emma, you know that.” Regina rubbed her hands over her upper arms absentmindedly and Emma wished she hadn’t brought it up.

“I know, Regina, everything back than was complicated.” Emma had been the one to promise her a happy ending, had lost herself in the process and been the cause of Regina losing it. Complicated didn’t cover it.

Still caressing her arms, Regina turned to her with a painted smile, “are you sure you don’t want to stay for a drink?” Emma almost caved, but what Regina had said to their son and how he had responded was already starting to take root. Just because they were going through a slight rough patch didn’t mean they weren’t happy.

“I should get back,” she said finally and regretted the decision the moment she sorrow crossed Regina’s face. But she’d stormed out on Hook after he had wanted to spend time with her and now she thought about it, she couldn’t really be mad at him for _that._

“Well, goodnight, Emma.” She trailed behind Emma to see her out, “you can have the fun of trying to get our son to open up over the weekend.” A hand fell to Emma’s shoulder as she reached the door and Emma automatically reached back and squeezed it, eyes closing for the few seconds they were connected.

“Goodnight.” She let go of the hand, opened the door, but didn’t turn back around. Too afraid of what she would do if she did.

Emma made her way down the path, everything inside screaming at her to turn back around, wanting to know if Regina had waited for her on the porchway or had already gone back into the mansion.

***

Emma slid both hands into the front pocket of her jeans and gave her father a cheeky grin, “don’t be a sore loser dad. I’m just better than you are.”

“Best two out of three?” he said, walking over to his desk and picked up the makeshift paper ball they’d been throwing into the trash can. Instead of the reports and other important work related duties they should be doing.

“Don’t start crying when I beat you.” Emma chuckled and made her way over to the chair they’d placed a few feet away from the target. With an arm lifted to the side, she tipped her head at her father, “would you like to start?”

David casually made his way to the chair, sat down and squinted at the can. Lifting his arm, he squeezed one eye shut and aligned his fist in the direction of the trash can. On the count of three, he threw his arm, sighing as the paper ball missed its target and landed on the floor next to it. Emma’s hand fell to his shoulder and she squeezed it as if offering condolences.

“Is this what you do all day, Swan?” Hook swaggered into the station, eyeing up the way the tables had been pushed aside to make room for their game. He cocked an eyebrow at her and Emma crossed her arms tightly around her chest and sighed deeply, the good mood sinking in the pit of her stomach.

“Hook.” David was on his feet then made his way over to where Hook stood grinning like a fool, “it’s good to see you.” He patted his shoulder and acted more enthusiastic about the visit than Emma. She’d forgotten how much they got along, even after David had learned the truth about his father.

Emma sighed; the past was in the past, but the memories and the dream catcher ready to be torched and him leaving wasn’t…but, well, he had gotten trapped and Emma had been desperate to get him back and now she wasn’t sure why she had felt so persistent and how Hook had somehow managed to escape any consequence. Then her father looked to her and she pulled herself away from her thoughts to focus on the ‘proud dad’ look he gave Emma.

“What do you say, Emma? It would be a great night.” David gave Hook’s shoulder a shake before he dropped his hands.

“What would?” Her arms returned to being crossed tightly around her chest as she directed her gaze to Hook. He smirked, but at least had the decency to look away and towards her father.

“I suggested we spend the evening with your parents, get someone to look after your little brother and we can get out of the house for a few hours.” David grinned at him, red faced from all the excitement. Emma’s jaw clenched as she looked to Hook, hand shaking by her side for completely different reasons than she had grown used to.

“Yeah? And what about Henry?” She shook her head then looked to her father for back up, but he didn’t say a word in her defence.

“Emma,” David said, “Henry’s with Regina and besides, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind baby sitting Neal if she’s not busy.”

A spread palm went to her forehead, because of course he would do something like that and why was it now she was only just realising it? “You know what, you all have your night out, it’s my weekend with my son and I intend to spend it with him.”

“Swan.” He moved to stand directly in front of her as she tried to get out of the station. She still wasn’t due to finish for a couple of hours but it wasn’t as if they were doing anything productive. “I asked you for one night last night and here I am again, asking for one night. With your parents,” he added, a quick hand gesture towards her father before he used his one hand to grip her shoulder, his hook dug into the other, “I’m sure you want to spend time with them and it’s not as if Henry won’t be here tomorrow. Just one night, it’s all I’m asking of you.”

“Emma, it would be good for you to take a break. And Hook’s right, I’m sure Henry has plans for a Friday night. Be a shame to miss out on a little fun with all of us.”

“I seriously can’t believe you’re taking his side. He’s my kid and no he doesn’t have plans because it’s his weekend to stay at my house.” She barged past Hook and didn’t bother to acknowledge either of them. She was already at an end with all of this and perhaps her father wasn’t to know everything, but she didn’t have the energy to explain it to him.

“I’ll be at Regina’s,” she called over her shoulder, not needing to turn around to see the flash run through Hook’s eyes, “I’m going to spend the weekend with my kid, do whatever you want.”

On a huff, she pushed through the door, ignoring their calls. She pressed the phone to her ear, hoping Regina wouldn’t mind if she lodged for the weekend.

***

Emma was unable to relax. After the fight, she’d stormed to the house, filled a duffle with some clothes and went straight to the mansion, where she now sat on the coach next to Regina, a glass of wine in one hand. Emma’s feet were planted firmly on the ground, one foot tapped rhythmically whilst her elbows leant on each knee. Regina sat with her feet tucked beneath her, a hand rested on her stocking covered ankle. One of her elbows was propped up, her head rested in the open palm and fingers gently brushed through the dark locks.

“I don’t get why he’s being like this.” Emma took a large gulp of the wine. “Everything was fine and-” she twisted her head to make eye contact, “am I being irrational?” She felt it or he was making her feel it, but something had shifted since she’d found herself in that hospital bed and now she’d started to talk to Regina about these visions, some aspects were beginning to be brought to Emma’s attention, where she had been blinded before.

“Over Henry? Emma, if it were me, believe me, Hook wouldn’t have come out of that so easily.” Regina’s head twisted to the side and Emma couldn’t help it when she stared at Regina’s frown, “this time at least.”

“Yeah.” Emma’s throat visibly bobbed as she swallowed, a wound she’d pretended not to exist opened and gushed out so much of this past year she’d put on ignore, “this time,” she said, almost inaudibly, eyes connecting with a pair of brown orbs which were usually much softer and welcoming. Regina sighed and Emma moved her head away to stare at the ground, glass finding her lips until it was emptied.

They sat in silence. It gave Emma chance to mull over the times she’d not been there for her son. After she’d blamed darkness on numerous counts. The empty glass found its way to the table, then Emma slouched back against the couch. “I threatened you.”

Regina twisted her body and frowned. “Excuse me?”

Emma wasn’t sure if their past was brought up, if it had the potential to unravel the relationship they’d built. There was a moment of debate, but she’d already touched upon it and knew it wasn’t built on lies and shutting down a part of herself, “when Henry was in the hospital. After he ate the turnover.”

“And your point?” Regina closed both eyes and sighed, not in the mood to hear the parts of their history which wasn’t pleasant. Though, she supposed that counted for a lot of it.

“Nothing.” There was one. It was mixed in with the reactions Emma would have against anyone who had tried to hurt her son. Not that she wanted to make it and have her chance at happiness crumble beneath her feet.

“I’m glad we covered the basis,” Regina said dryly, opened her eyes and looked to Emma with something a lot like understanding which flashed through them, “it’s not like it’s the first time, Miss Swan.”

“Gods, Regina. I’ve had a bad enough day or week or life as it is.” Both hands flew up then landed on her thighs, no longer sure which is was anymore, “don’t start with all of that.” She had come here to get away from drama, not start more.

“All I’m saying, Em-ma, is that he gets free passes where I don’t.” She turned her head back away with another loud sigh. If Emma was tired, then Regina looked as drained as Emma felt. They’d been fighting a battle of some sort ever since they met. It had started with each other, morphed to monsters and magical beings and now it could all be over before they’d had a second to breathe.

“And what exactly is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing-” she stood and smoothed down her skirt, “I just remembered you don’t care about me.” Hips shook as Regina walked away. Emma reacted quickly, jumped up and followed. Once she had caught up, she reached an arm out, gripped Regina’s wrist and spun her around. That comment hurt more than Emma could say in words.

“What the hell?” So perhaps the mention of their past had caused more damage than good, but Emma’s head spun. Regina had a murderous look in her eyes, but a hint of longing was also present. They didn’t move once they’d connected with Emma’s

Regina sighed and the hardened edges softened. “I’m sorry, Emma, I was out of line. The past is in the past.” Both hands began to caress up and down her arms as she looked down and away from Emma.

“Tell me.” Emma’s voice had been so soft that Regina had melted and Emma had wondered when she had been capable at offering other people comfort. It did have her thinking in ways she didn’t want to, because perhaps there had been one too many things she’d over looked when it came to Hook, but throughout all the time she had known Regina, she’d never not at least _tried._

“You didn’t trust me in Neverland and you were off sticking your tongue down his throat for god knows what reason, for one.”

“What?” Emma frowned and shook her head to try and make sense of any of that. “I kissed him one time and I had every right not to trust you or have you forgotten all the crap you put us through back then?”

There was a part of Emma which had later realised some of it had been justified. Not the plan to leave them all behind as she escaped with Henry, but Regina had been like an animal backed into a corner. Henry had been taken away from her overnight, only for Emma to then claim superiority when it came to being his parent. She may see some fault in her actions now, but she wouldn’t apologise for what she believed had been the right choices back then. It had been messy, but if she could see that, then Regina must understand why they hadn’t trusted her then.

“You mean, after I was willing to give my life to save this town, whilst your boyfriend was off saving his own ass?”

“He came back-”

“Did you ever stop to think about what would’ve happened if we hadn’t managed to stop that trigger, hmm? And then suddenly he was hero of the day because he managed to get us to Neverland, whilst you all refused to trust me even though we were trying to save my son.” Regina’s arms tightened around her chest, hands clenching and unclenching as Emma stood and stared.

If they hadn’t stopped the trigger they…she shook her head and tried not to think of a time when Hook had been more than content for everyone to die if he survived. Though, it proved difficult, now it had happened twice.

“If he hadn’t stolen the bean, we would’ve all gone to the enchanted forest and you would’ve _died_.”

Emma had thought of that. Once they had gotten to Neverland, she had more than one nightmare which involved them trapped in the mines. It had occurred to her one night after she’d awoken and she realised she was…somewhat glad to have Regina with them.  “I know to trust you now, Regina. Especially when it comes to Henry, but as shitty as him stealing the bean was, I don’t know what these past few years would’ve been like without you.”

Each arm fell to her side and her eyes glistened as she looked to Emma, unable to form a single word. “He was still a complete idiot.”

“You mean he still is a complete idiot.” Emma closed the distance to lightly grip Regina’s shoulders, mimicking her actions from an apartment which felt a million miles away. She wanted to pull her closer, but the moment was too intimate and Regina’s gaze was too intense to be anything more than what they were supposed to be. After a gentle squeeze and tight smile, she let go, took a step back and crossed her arms around her chest.

“I should put dinner on. Zelena will be here soon.” Emma nodded, not looking forwards to that part of the evening at all. She took a step backwards as Regina turned towards the kitchen, content to let the topic drop.

Emma headed straight back to the bottle of wine she’d left in the other room.


	7. Chapter 7

The tingling in her arm hit before Emma even made it to the table. She gritted her teeth and remained in the other room whilst Regina, Henry and Zelena were waiting for the last guest to join them. Spinning away from where she was stood at the open doorway to the dining room, Emma fell back against the wall. Her head banged against it with a thud. Both eyes squeezed shut as her arm shook relentlessly. The hooded figure was in front of her eyes, disarming her and brought her to her knees. The sword pierced through her gut, which caused Emma to bend in two as if she had felt the blow.

“Emma?” A hand came to her shoulder. Emma lifted her head from where both her hands had gripped just above her knees and tried to smile reassuringly.

“Need a sec.” Panting, both eyes closed to stop the room from spinning, “be fine in a minute.” Regina’s hand slowly moved downwards to rub soft circles over her lower back. Emma’s breathing began to even out, but she stayed crouched and took deep breaths as the hand continued the soothing pattern.

“Is this the first vision you’ve had since the hospital?” Emma shook her head at the question, rolling her eyes at Regina’s sigh. She stood then leant against the wall.

“I’ve only had a few,” she mumbled, eyes diverted downwards. Regina pressed both hands to her hips as if she were about to reprimand a small child. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Emma.” Two steps were taken, then she stopped as if she thought better of it, “you know I’m worried. You ended up in the hospital a week ago and we’ve done nothing since then to do anything about them. What am I supposed to think?”

“We’ve talked about it.” That didn’t count as nothing. It counted as an entire something, considering Emma had been reluctant to even do that not too long ago.

“I thought we decided we would try to fight them. Then we didn’t talk about it since. No plans to meet at my vault, to start searching, nothing. We can’t keep ignoring this.”

“My brain is a bit full up right now.” Emma ran fingers through her hair. The thoughts burst at the seams. There remained conflict and she didn’t know what to do about any of it. No longer able to simply roll over and let the visions take their course, Emma had added more to her already full plate. “My wedding is in two weeks and I’ve not even cake tested yet. Let me get that out of the way then we can start looking.”

They both knew the little spat would account to nothing. Emma had ended up in hell after a lot worse. Though, Regina had been hoping since their last chat, that Emma would finally realise she he was one of the reasons she was miserable. Regina could see it, but couldn’t simply come out with it. There was a part which begged her to, but it would risk their friendship. So, she nodded, “let’s go and eat dinner. I’m sure Zelena and Henry are withering away.”

Emma tried for a chuckle, but it felt wrong to her ears. Regina hadn’t flinched at the mention of the marriage or said anything a deep part of Emma had wanted her to. Her gut twisted as she followed Regina.

“Finally.” Zelena glared at them both as they entered the room and sighed more than was needed, “I was beginning to think you’d ran off together.” They both glanced at each other than looked away abruptly and took their places at the table.

Regina cleared her throat, “well dig in.”

She glared at Zelena from where she sat beside her, with a ‘was that necessary?’ look. Emma noticed, which then caused her to stare down at the meal for more reason than one. She had hardly seen Zelena since she’d locked her in the basement of the house and now the darkness had seeped from within, she felt terrible over what she had done.

“This is really good, mom.” Henry smiled at his mother, attempting to break the awkwardness. He then looked to Emma. “And don’t worry about Hook, I’m sure he just wants to spend time with you, like I do, but I’m glad you’re here. It’s kind’a nice.” They’d had to explain to Henry why Emma was at the mansion, instead of Henry being at her house, so he had filled in some blanks and thought he could at least try to help his mother out.

Zelena rolled her eyes, not one for keeping quiet even if everyone else would walk on egg shells to spare someone’s feelings. “I don’t know why you’re with that fool. He’s caused nothing but trouble. If it-”

“Zelena,” Regina hissed, hand clenching around her fork. Emma lowered her eyes back down.

“As I was saying before my sister rudely interrupted.” One hand gestured and each eye widened as if she were immensely enjoying herself, “if it was me, I would’ve dumped his sorry ass a long time ago. I mean, we all ended up in hell, for goodness sake. No one is that good in the sac you need to follow them down there.”

“Zelena-” Regina stabbed her fork into the food, lifted it up and shovelled it into her mouth before she said something more.

“Well I suppose there may be other reasons you might go to hell. Love and all that crap.” As both eyebrows wiggled, she glared at Regina with a wicked smile, “care to elaborate, little sis.” One elbow went to the table and she placed her head in the open palm as if waiting for a story. Regina glared back into those large green eyes, wanting to do than that.

“Mom loves Hook.” Henry shrugged, not understanding why that seemed so confusing. “Why else would she follow him to hell?”

Still in the same position, Zelena chuckled, “why else indeed?” then let her head fall so she could look at Emma, who had to pull up everything within, so she wouldn’t look to the reddening woman sat opposite.

“Yes, Henry. I love him,” she said in a sickly sweet voice and smiled at her son, “that’s why I’m marrying him. For love, like my parents.” As the words came out, they felt all wrong. Along with the sound her voice made and the way it made her feel. It had been the same since she had embarked on the mission to the underworld. Or maybe earlier than that. She sounded more like the cardboard cut our version of herself who had given herself over to what she perceived as love. Nothing like the woman who had made a tiny reappearance.

“Whilst we’re on the subject of the past. The only reason I’ve not gorged your eyes out, Emma, is for that little sprocket sleeping upstairs.”

“Ew, gross.” Henry threw his napkin on the table, squinting his face in disgust, “please tell me you’re not being serious?”

“Well, no-” she wrinkled her nose, “it’s just an expression of speech. All that’s too messy for me. I’d much rather have my monkey’s do my bidding or keep someone in Oz and have them working for me. Much more productive than all that…ickyness.”

Whilst Zelena gave her little speech, a pair of soft brown eyes sought out her own, followed by Regina mouthing, _‘You okay?’_ which had Emma nod and smile tightly. There wasn’t much backlash from the time she’d been the dark one, no matter what terrible deeds she had tried to commit. Except for the bucket load of emotional scars, she pretended didn’t exist. Even if they had left her numb and without a flicker of fight.

“Gods, you’re like love struck teenagers.” Zelena rolled her eyes at the two women who suddenly went silent. There was no way she was the only one to have noticed. “But, perhaps an apology would be nice. You did try to kill me, after all.”

“Zelena, can we not leave the past where it belongs?” She tipped her head towards Henry who had been sinking into his chair since the eyes comment.

“Oh, right, kids present. Wasn’t like she was a very good villain anyway. Besides from you trying to kill me, what did you actually do?”

Emma swallowed, “I’m sorry,” then bowed her head, “I shouldn’t have done that. It wasn’t really you I was trying to hurt, if that helps.”

“Well, of course it was, unless there were some other reason you wanted to get rid of me. Not like you were the only one,” she said with a hint of mocking to her voice and flickered her eyes to Regina, brought them to Emma then slowly moved her head to glare at her little sister. A wide smile spread.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Regina frowned then looked to Emma for answers.

She bit her lip and pretended not to know what in the world Zelena had latched onto. Her dark one days had made her more susceptible to her real feelings, but the vulnerabilities and issues she’d yet to deal with had flared just as much.

“Oh, that’s…that’s some sort of twisted dark one poetry right there.” Zelena chuckled with glee and slouched back in her chair to regard the two of them. Henry didn’t even attempt to understand Zelena’s weird thought process. Emma hoped she wouldn’t expand on it.

“Okay, what is she going on about? Emma?” Regina wanted answers, ones which Emma didn’t want to give, but Zelena was bouncing on her chair with excitement and it was going to come from one of them sooner or later.

“Go on, I’ve figured it out, tell her or you know I will.” This was exactly why Emma hadn’t been thrilled to hear that Regina had already made plans to spend the evening with her sister, cursing Hook and his over protective streak for being the cause of this.

Emma lowered her gaze, twisting her fork and took a deep breath, “I did it for you,” she mumbled, not more than a whisper. Her mouth closed after that and Zelena let out a chuckle. Henry nodded his head as if he finally had caught on, whilst Regina looked more lost than ever.

“You were trying to get rid of Zelena, how do I fit into that?” It was Henry’s turn to sigh. Zelena tipped her head to him with raised brows as if she were impressed. Regina turned to the sound, “you understand what they’re trying to tell me?”

“Well, you and Zelena weren’t exactly on the best of terms when Ma was the dark one.” He didn’t add anything more, hoping his mother would figure it out. She appeared lost, but as Emma looked to her, it made her wonder if she wouldn’t let herself understand. Emma had become the dark one to save her, after all and they hadn’t ever broached the topic once. Not that Emma could blame the reaction; she had been guilty of the same. At the well, after there had been far too much emotion exposed, she had fought so hard to push it back, she’d replaced it with so many lies she had started to believe them.

“I thought you would want her gone. My darkness latched onto the idea that getting rid of Zelena would help you in some way, so when I needed to find a vessel for the darkness, I chose to put it in her, for you.”

Regina’s eyes blew wide open. “I didn’t know.”

She pushed from the table, stood and picked up her plate and rather forcefully grabbed Zelena’s. Emma felt her stomach clench as Regina turned and walked towards the kitchen without saying another word.

“Well wasn’t that fun?” Zelena said, bouncing up off the chair whilst Emma sunk into hers. “Ta-ta,” Zelena waved at the two of them and shimmied out of the room after she had managed to spill more than one truth neither of them had wanted to hear.

***

After Zelena and baby Robyn had left the house and Henry had retired to his room to read comics, did Emma and Regina decide to open a bottle of wine and sit outside. They sat in silence for a while. Sat next to each other on a bench which gently swayed as Emma tipped her feet from heel to toe on the decking. Regina didn’t seem to mind, she sat comfortably on the cushioned bench, one leg swung over the other, a glass in hand and let herself be rocked in the warm evening air.

“I’m sorry all of that was dragged up,” Emma said, unable to stand the silence any longer.

“You don’t need to apologise. I’m just thinking.” It wasn’t much of an explanation as to why they had barley said a word to each other since Regina had left the table.

“Right.” Emma continued to stare out at the millions of stars covering the clear sky, whilst her feet pushed the swing. It was relaxing and the space between them began to feel like a thousand miles when the situation had Emma wanting to shuffle closer and lean against her friend. _Her friend,_ she reminded herself, knowing she had a fiancé waiting for her to return.

“You know,” Regina lifted her face upwards and closed her eyes as the soft breeze brushed along her face, “there was this time back in my kingdom when I fell from a balcony. Now, Tink was the one who saved me,” she twisted to look at Emma and gave a little chuckle, “but…she had been convinced I’d jumped.”

“Regina-”

“I hadn’t.” She shook her head, gave Emma a soft smile then sipped her wine and diverted her eyes to the ground. This part was harder to admit. “I wanted to. I had lost everything and I was so unhappy…”

“Regina.” Emma gripped onto Regina’s wrist, which prompted her to turn her head, “why are you telling me this?”

“I think you know.” Their eyes connected and Emma swallowed the lump in her throat as she shook her head and yanked the hand away. She sighed and slouched on the bench. Fingers ran through her hair as she thought about those words. They’d made her defensive and the hand on the bench clenched into a fist

Regina’s voice had been soft, but now each word cut like a shard of glass. “Why won’t you fight these visions, Emma?”

“It’s my damn choice.” The tone had Emma reeling, she pressed a tongue to the side of her cheek and gave Regina a cocky look. They’d said they would try after the wedding…what more did she want?

“For all you know whoever is under the hood could be ready to attack you tomorrow, but because this wedding is apparently more important than your life, none of us will be able to do anything to help you.”

“That’s not fair.” Of course the wedding wasn’t more important…time consuming but, “it’s not as if I have much of a choice. The saviour role is kind of a big deal. It’s why I’m seeing myself dying. Might as well be a decent one in the meantime.”

Regina twisted, face scrunched in confusion, “how does the wedding have anything to do with you being the saviour? That’s ridiculous and you’re just making excuses.”

“I’m…his…happy…ending, Regina. Gods, I thought that was obvious.” Emma rolled her eyes, crossed both arms and mulled over the statement. It had felt so resolute. The fight she had held onto her entire life was still there, but it seemed…focused. It gave her pause.  

“How do you propose to give him a happy ending if you’re not alive, dear?” Regina took a sip of her wine as if it were tea.

“I…don’t know-” arms flung in the air in frustration. She pushed off the bench which caused it to rock then stood over Regina. “Stop pushing me. Just stop. We’ll start doing something about them in two weeks, because I’m not going to let myself die and leave Henry, I don’t want that. But, I…I have to do this.”

“I thought you were marrying him for love?” It was Regina’s turn to stand, slowly making herself square with Emma, almost nose to nose.

“I do…love him,” she said, with more hesitancy than usual, “and he deserves this.” Emma had turned him into the dark one, killed him then brought him back to life. For them. It was the least he deserved.

Regina’s body stiffened and both hands clenched by her sides, the need to call fire almost too pervasive to ignore.  “Deserve?” her brows shot up in question, “are you serious? You do remember everything he’s done, right? Oh, wait-” she raised a palm at the same time Emma opened her mouth to reply, “he gets free passes, for reasons I will never understand.”

“Yes, I remember. But he’s changed, Regina. Just like you changed, how is that any different?” Regina shot daggers with her eyes before Emma had even finished the sentence. A pang of regret hit, because Emma knew how hard Regina had worked. Hook had been…persistent and he wasn’t the same man she met in the enchanted forest. That had to count for something. Or Emma tried to convince herself of that at least.

Regina chuckled, “changed, right, that’s why he tried to kill our son. You may have forgotten that, but I haven’t.” Emma couldn’t tell if that had come from the wine, it had been there this entire time or a something had suddenly gushed open.

“He was the dark one, Regina. It turned him into his worse self and if you remember, he stopped it. He _died,”_ she said, repeating those same words over and over to herself after she’d spontaneously risked everything to get him back.

“Oh, I didn’t realise you could get a medal for not killing someone. How incredible, I never managed to kill your mother, do I get a medal too?” Regina’s eye widened on that last part and Emma felt a stab, whilst Regina shook her head, “okay, I didn’t mean that. But my point still stands.”

“No, but, he was…the dark one, and, well, fighting impulses are hard, you know, so-”

“Remember when we all thought Rumple was going to kill Henry in Neverland? I think we need more medals because he didn’t attempt to kill our son in the end, did he? We should go there now and congratulate him.”

Emma swallowed, “that’s not-”

“The same thing? Why not? Different circumstances, but why give that pirate a pat on the back and practically shun Gold. They both died, did they not?” Regina’s smirk said it all and Emma felt her stomach sinking at the way she had completely found a way to justify what had happened.

“Why can’t you just be happy for me?” She took a step backwards to create some space between them and circled her arms around her waist to self soothe. The last thing she needed was a dose of reality. Not when her wedding was around the corner and she would finally get a taste of what it meant to be happy.

“Because I’m done pretending that I don’t see that you’re this shadow version of the woman I once knew. You’re good at lying to yourself, but I can see right through you and you’re the furthest thing from happy.”

Emma turned her head to the side, unable to look into eyes which could convey more emotions than words. She swallowed, hard, bit her bottom lip and tried to tell herself Regina was wrong. “I’m seeing myself die over and over, it’s got nothing to do with Hook.”

Regina crossed her arms and shook her head, “keep telling yourself that, Emma. We both know it has everything to do with him.”

“No, he makes me happy.” Or he had, she thinks, because there was a time when the thought of being with him was…good. Not the anchor she was feeling now. The one she ignored and told herself had nothing to do with him. “What’s your problem with him?”

“Didn’t I just tell you?” She tipped her head, reached down to grab her glass, finishing the wine in one swift motion then returned the glass to the ground.

“You hated him long before then. You’ve never liked him and you’ve never supported my relationship with-”

“I went to hell, Emma or have you forgotten that too?” This was exactly why Emma was confused, but instead of shutting her mouth, it was as if her own band aid had been ripped off.

“Doesn’t mean you supported me. You’ve never even tried to get along and he would’ve if you hadn’t been so stubborn. Your constant remarks and the lack of help during the wedding planning and my god, Regina.” Emma could see Regina was fuming and her hands shook by her sides, but her mouth refused to stop talking, “you’re supposed to be my friend and you can’t be there for me when it comes to the man I’m marrying, because of dumb reasons that no one else has a problem with and what is it, Regina? Why don’t you like him?”

Regina threw her arms into the air, “because I can treat you better than him!”

The words were out before either of them had realised it. It silenced them both. They stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. Emma couldn’t open her mouth, even if she knew what she was supposed to say.

It was Regina’s turn to wrap her arms around her middle whilst her eyes glistened, “maybe not me,” her voice shook, “but you deserve better than him. You deserve the world, Emma.”

Regina trembled and her chest shuddered with each breath. There was more silence as Emma digested those words. The way Regina shrunk in on herself as she deemed herself unworthy. It made Emma’s heart clench. She _was_ worthy, but no one had ever told that to either of them. Her head spun and even though her body was numb, she fought through the haze to take a step forwards. Then another and another. Regina let her arms fall to her sides as Emma came closer.

Warms hands cupped Regina’s cheeks as Emma pressed their lips together so forcefully Regina’s head tilted backwards as their eyes closed the instant they touched.

Emma pulled away from the kiss, searched Regina’s eyes then fell back into it. This time pushing more forcefully, stomach clenching at Regina’s moan. Arms wrapped themselves around Emma’s waist and they slid their lips over each other in an excruciatingly slow pace.

They opened them. Tongues popped out and mixed together as their mouths opened as wide as possible before they shut with their lips pushed firmly together. Emma slipped one hand onto the back of Regina’s head and tangled her fingers in soft hair. Then their rhythm increased and Emma adjusted her body so their hips touched and there wasn’t a single other thought in her mind other than how good it felt to have Regina this close. How incredible it felt as they kissed.

Regina moved her hand below Emma’s top. Fingers lightly danced on Emma’s lower back as they continued to kiss. Emma tilted her head and deepened the kiss as much as she could. Regina shuddered against her body, so she pulled her head back enough to be able to look back into those wide eyes, catching the single tear trickling down Regina’s cheek.

Emma watched it, knew what it meant and leant back in to peck Regina’s lips. Perhaps she was doing the wrong thing, but all she knew was how good it felt. Leaning her head forwards, she pressed it against Regina’s whilst their eyes searched each other’s. “Take me to bed,” she whispered then leant back into the capture those alluring lips.

Regina nodded against them, moved her hands between their bodies to curl her fingers into the loops on Emma’s jeans. She tugged and moaned into the kiss, as Emma’s feet scurried forwards in time with heels which paced back.

Then Regina led them to the one place they’d been desperate to reach.

***

The room was dark and silent. Emma had to let each breath out slowly so she wouldn’t make too much of a noise. Regina had an arm flung over her waist, messy hair spread over the pillow next to where Emma’s head was twisted to face her. She swallowed, tilted her head to press a soft kiss to the side of Regina’s head then gently moved her arm.

After she had flung her legs over the side of the bed, heart beating so much she could hear it in her ears, did she scan the room for her clothing. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, but as she spotted her jeans, she stood then flinched at the squeak the bed had made. Regina hummed and pulled the cover to her chest.

Avoiding any object which could potentially make a noise, Emma pulled the tight material over each foot, forgoing any attempt to find the underwear that’d been flung somewhere.

“Emma?” a groggy voice called from the other side of the room, the covers bustling as Regina rolled over, “come back to bed.” She sighed in her dazed state, curled in on herself and began to breathe deeply.

Emma held her breath, caught sight of her bra and top, quickly threw them on whilst her jeans still hung around her knees. Hands on them, ready to yank them up, the covers rustled again and the bed dipped.

“Emma,” Regina whispered, more aware than a minute ago, “please stay.” Regina sat with her knees curled into her chest, covers bunched into the fists she’d tucked beneath her chin.

“I’m sorry,” Emma’s heart shattered, but she was filled with so much fear, “I have to go. If Hook finds out, he might…leave,” she hesitated then she shook her head and pulled the jeans over her hips.

“Good. I wouldn’t want anyone finding out I slept with you.” Regina fell back onto the bed, the covers coming up over her shoulders. “You can see yourself out and don’t you dare wake Henry.”

Emma took a shuddered breath. The words hurt, but she was the cause this. “I’m sorry,” she said again, spun, creeped out of the room and grabbed the duffle she had brought for her impromptu weekend, silently existing the mansion.

By the time she had sat in her bug, angry tears rolled down her cheeks, mad at so many things she couldn’t comprehend. Glancing to the window, she had hoped a light would be on, that Regina would care enough that she had left, but the comment had felt like a blow. The night had been too real and perhaps Emma hadn’t changed as much as she had thought. The bug roared to life, slowly making its ways down the empty streets, towards a happy ending Emma wasn’t sure she even wanted.


	8. Chapter 8

The morning rolled around. Emma pushed open her heavy eyes whilst she stood over the stove. She’d managed to shower and crash on the couch without waking her fiancé, but had barely slept, tossing and turning all night.

“Swan? Is that pancakes?” Hook frowned from where he had just walked into the kitchen. Emma placed the spatula down and made her way over. A hand fell to his chest and a smiled planted itself on her face which reminded her of a teenage girl with a crush. She had never found it uncomfortable until that moment.

“You were right, Killian. I’m sorry I left, please forgive me?” she said, as if all this had been her fault. Shifting the blame had always been the easiest way to end a dispute. Then she reached up to peck his lips and almost pulled away when they weren’t nearly as soft as the ones she’d been kissing throughout the night.

“If you promise you’ll start putting me first?” His hand was straight on her backside, where he squeezed firmly and his tongue pushed through her lips as they kissed again. Emma had to hide the way her body recoiled.

“Of course.” Her gut clenched, because it would mean Henry too. A fresh wave of guilt washed over her, because what type of mother chose her boyfriend over their son?

Emma wasn’t sure if their relationship had always been this way, but the conversation with Regina roared to life and any doubts it brought had to forcefully push down, all the while she tried so hard to be the girlfriend Hook wanted her to be. A damsel in distress, hanging from him.

Hook pulled back and wrinkled his nose, “is that burning?”

Emma spun, pushed him away and ran to the stove. Cursing under her breath, she switched the stove off, the pancakes burnt and rather inedible.

Hook chuckled, “I think they turned out better than when you attempt to cook.” He looped his arms around her waist. The tone had been anything but light. She tried to chuckle back, but it fell flat.

“Why don’t we get breakfast at Granny’s?” She twisted in his arms and the smile which felt false appeared. Suddenly, she hated it, but if she were going to make this work, she would push her cheeks up until they ached. Along with the hand which might as well be glued to his chest. “Spend some time together.”

“Alright, Swan. You’ve got a lot of making up to do.” He smirked and leant in for another kiss, body pressed into the kitchen counter from where his hips pushed into hers. Emma moaned into his mouth and let him pick her up, legs circling his waist. She wasn’t in the mood, but let herself be led away, because she had spent the night with another and _he_ was the man she was supposed to be with. Emma didn’t voice one protest, even if her stomach curdled as he carried her up the stairs.

***

It was hot outside. Emma noticed the moment she stepped out of the house, the weather a stark contrast to what she felt inside. Hook came up next to her as they made their way to Granny’s, opting to walk due to the warm weather. It was automatic the way her hand slid into his, even though it felt too big and overbearing. He smiled down as she squeezed her fingers. He squeezed back, so tight it was if he believed she would vanish if he were to let go. She still found herself wondering if he could feel what she did, unable to get Regina out of her mind, no matter how hard she had tried.

Replaced her with the feel of his hands and body pressed to her own.

Washed her away with a cold shower and tears which had dripped down her cheeks.

Emma ignored the feelings and pushed her cheeks up. The mask had been enough in the past to convince herself and everyone around that she was happy. This time it made her feel sick. The guilt didn’t help and she had toyed with the idea of confessing. Only to shut down and remember everything he had put them through. As if they were keeping a score card on how many times they could hurt each other.

It didn’t matter anyway. It had been a blip and her mind coiled and twisted the events to try and make it seem as if Regina had a motive. Other than wanting to see _her_ happy. No one else cared, so she shoved the thought into the back of her mind and continued to walk with a sweaty palm and aching cheeks.

“Looks like something’s going on up there.” He lifted the arm attached to the hook in the direction of Granny’s and to where a small group of people had gathered. Emma scanned the crowd, already wanting to turn and hide away. Until a pair of hardened brown eyes glued to her own. Then abruptly pulled away at the same time Emma’s stomach dropped.

Emma’s limbs were heavy, to the point each movement felt forced. They reached the entranced to the outside seated area and no other than the queen stood in the doorway to Granny’s. In a bright red dress, she lifted both arms out to the side and smiled evilly at Emma, eyes boring down on her. “Oh, nice of you to join us.”

Regina stood only a foot away to her right, in front of one of the tables. Both hands were on Henry’s shoulders. He twisted his head to look towards his other mother, shook his head then turned his attention back on the queen. Emma had forgotten about how it would affect him. Leaving wasn’t something to get over easily. The brunt of her childhood hit, so she twisted into Hook’s side and placed a hand on his chest, one of his arms wrapped around her shoulder.

David made his way through the crowd to his daughter, “Emma, me and Snow are going to clear the area,” he said, meaning the group of people who created a bustle of nervous energy as they watched on with apprehensive eyes, “you and Regina will have to take care of the evil queen.”

The name made her flinch. Emma’s eyes stared at the ground as she allowed Hook to keep her up right. She didn’t want to move, not that he was comforting, but he was easier than having to face any of her actions. One look to Regina and she knew she would crumble.

“Her magic is no match for mine.” The queen chuckled then clasped her hands together with glee. Emma didn’t look her way or take the bait. It was true and they both knew it. Regina did too, but from the way she had looked to her with malice then had ignored her existence, she figured Regina would be removed from the equation.

Emma no longer knew if Regina would be there to protect her or not.  

“You won’t be able to hurt my moms. Both of their magic is stronger than yours and everyone knows it.” Henry’s fists clenched by his sides and his eyes skittered whenever he would look to the queen. The statement alone had him balk, uncertainty flash through his young eyes. He was supposed to hate the queen, everyone else seemed to, but he couldn’t. “You’re my mom too,” he said fiercely, “I don’t want any of you to get hurt.”

The queen balked and looked to him with apprehension. As if she was too afraid to get close. Too afraid to allow herself to love. If that didn’t stir Emma’s heart and made her feel ten times worse, she didn’t know what would. Regina sighed and kissed his head from behind, taking a moment to breathe in the one person who continued to believe in her, no matter what.  

“That was once true, my son.” The queen’s voice softened considerably. Even before this moment, Emma could tell how much it pained Regina to see the queen mellow around him. “But…” the clipping of heels could be heard as she paced off the step and came closer to them, a hand lightly cupping Henry’s chin. She gazed him to his eyes then looked up to Regina. It made her pause and question her path, because the height of darkness wouldn’t be enough to challenge the love she held for her son.

Regina’s eyes remained hard. She could feel Emma’s presence, had glanced their way to see his arms around her shoulders. Regina was not in a forgiving mood and perhaps if this had happened the night before. If the queen had looked to her with uncertainty and reminded her of the times she would look in the mirror and feel the same. She might have softened. Heard her out. Instead, she pulled Henry closer and the queen’s eyes raged.

“Their weak,” she spat, one hand bunching up the side of her dress as she spun and created some distance. Her plan had been in place for a reason. She would never give him up and they would never allow her to see him. It was the only way. She turned back around and eyed Regina, “you’re not whole without me.”

The queen felt it as much as Regina. While she revealed in the challenge, blocked out any part which insisted she needed her other half. Regina had faltered and had failed to keep a lid on her emotions, feeling as if they could combust at any point.

“I’m better off without you.” Her chin had lifted, but her voice didn’t hold any conviction.

The queen shook her head as if she were disgusted then turned her callous gaze on Emma, “and this pathetic excuse of a mother-” she scoffed at the way she clung to him, “is the weakest of us all.”

“Don’t talk about my mom like that.”

At least he still defended her, that was something. She still bowed her head and didn’t bother to fight back. In that moment, she would’ve done anything to be back in Regina’s arm, because with her, she didn’t feel weak or useless, but…she didn’t dwell, not when the queen was more than capable of picking apart their weaknesses and use them as a weapon.

“You really have lost your fight, Miss Swan.” The name only brought back images of the previous night, the way Regina had purred it down her ear. As if she felt it too, a pair of brown eyes connected with her own after Emma felt compelled to look her way. She wanted to apologise. Nothing would make it right, but if anything, she wanted to shoulder the blame. Regina’s eyes hollowed out and Emma wanted to scream and curse at herself.

The queen squinted, “you’re not going to defend her?”

“She’s not a child,” Regina snapped, entire body stiffening and so much anger infusing into her blood she didn’t know what to do with it, “she’s capable of defending herself.”

Hook tipped his head and wafted his hook between them, “did you two get into a fight? Was that why you were back home this morning? Don’t lie to me, Swan, because I’m quite perceptive at times.” Emma leant into him further and wanted to shrivel up and let the ground swallow her whole. Her heart felt as if it would combust at any moment. It _hurt_ …now she knew what she’d been missing. Tears pricked her eyes, but she swallowed them down.

She deserved to hurt.

“Mom?” Henry looked to her, heartbreak evident in his eyes. He glanced over his shoulder, then back to Emma, “did you guys fight? Mom said you left and wouldn’t tell me why.” One look to Regina saw to it she wouldn’t be getting any help. They’d promised no more lying, but what was she supposed to do?

“No, Henry. I…I should’ve waited until you were up. I felt bad about walking out on Killian-” she swallowed the lump in her throat and looked to him, for even the tiniest bit of reassurance. His smirk didn’t help in the slightest. “I spent the night with you. I thought I should go back…home,” she pushed out. If she were to commit, she had to go all in and put the mistake behind her. He didn’t deserve…any of it. She would make it up to him, without him ever knowing the truth.

Hook kissed her soundly. She accepted it without question. Until she pulled away, twisted her head to catch Regina stare at her with so much longing. Her mouth opened then slammed shut before she could say a word. Regina looked away, her movements almost mechanical.

Henry nodded skeptically, but his mother had been so unlike his mother, he didn’t know what to believe. He still loved her profusely, but he remained at a loss and hoped one day the mother he had known, would come back to them all.

“I’m glad you came to your senses, love.” Emma smiled shakily, not sure what those senses were. All she knew was that she had lost the one person, who seemed devastated over the thought of losing Emma for good. It crushed her insides and she wanted to push from Hook’s arms and hold Regina in hers.

“Me too,” she said on a shaky breath, because this was the only choice she had left.  

The queen rolled her eyes, bored with whatever drama had played out. “Well, now all of that is out of the way-”

“Will you tell us what you want?” Regina’s hands flew to her hips and she glared at the queen with a murderous look. One which should no longer exist within herself.

The queen smiled brightly, glad to have gotten their attention once more. She turned to face Emma, “it’s time you and me had a little chat.” A hand waved in the air, followed by purple smoke which engulfed them both.

Emma landed with a thud, legs spread at an awkward angle and arms flailed to gain balance. Once she had, she shook her head from side to side to gather her surroundings. They had landed in a field, a cabin not far away, but other than that. They were alone.

The queen stood opposite and glared at Emma, stood up straight and popped open her palm. A fire ball appeared and she began to close the distance. Green eyes widened and for every step the queen took, Emma took one backwards. It was like the part in a horror movie, where she would reach a tree trunk and fall backwards.

“No one is going to save you now.” The statement cut right through, but Emma had been shaken out of her shell the moment she’d been teleported. Moping wouldn’t do her much good right now.

“What are you planning to do with that?” She continued to take paces backwards and tried to feel for her magic, wigging her fingers as if that would help. The grin never left the queen’s face.

“Defend yourself-” she plunged a rather weak fireball towards Emma, who jumped out of the way, not needing magic to avoid it. The queen sighed and called another, “not like that.”

This time when it was tossed, it moved quicker. Emma’s protective instincts flared. An arm was flung over her face, creating sparks of magic which hit the impending fireball and made it fizzle out. “Why are you doing this?” Emma asked, in a voice which was deep and hoarse.

The queen threw another. Emma did the same with her other arm. The quick motion of movements had magic flare outwards and block the fire. Another chuckle, another fireball. It tired Emma more than she was used to, but it also brought her out of the slumber like state she’d been dozing around in. What she wasn’t expecting was a blast of purple magic directed at her head.

Emma froze, both arms by her sides and eyes wide as the magic came closer. At the last second, Emma lifted both palms and pushed her magic out. She dug one foot into the ground and bent her knee to lean all her weight onto that foot, arms outstretched as if she were pushing against a brick wall. The other leg stretched out behind her, toes planted into the ground. As the queen’s magic increased, the slid along the grass, taking it up and leaving only mud in its place.

“Tell me…what you…want.” She continued to push, a roll of sweat running down her back. Teeth gritted as she tensed every muscle in her body.

The queen didn’t comment, but stood rather comfortable. For a second, she nodded her head as if she were impressed, then the queen pulled back and Emma’s arms sagged to her sides whilst she panted heavily. “Not bad, not bad at all.”

Emma needed more than a minute to catch her breath, but she didn’t know if she would have that long before the queen attacked again. Never had using magic felt this draining in the past. “Are you…trying to kill me?”

“Kill you?” That wouldn’t go down well in the slightest. “If I wanted you dead I would’ve done it by now. Lucky for you, it’s not me who wants you dead.”

Emma bent in two, hands gripped her knees and she brought in as much oxygen as she could. Grateful for the break. She peaked her eyes up, “you’re not the figure under the hood?” She had to ask, it had crossed her mind more than once. She had even blamed Regina at one point, which…was unfair; they had all just gotten back from hell.

“Now that would be an interesting twist.” She bent forwards as if talking to a small child, “there’s going to be a much better one.” The magic came at her so fast Emma was knocked off her feet. Her mouth flew wide open as she wheezed and her chest felt like it was about to collapse. Both hands went to her stomach and she rolled onto her side with a grunt.

Purple magic flew across the field. Emma flung both arms over her head and created a flimsy shield to block it. Emma tried to think about what the queen had said, but the imminent threat had Emma squeeze her eyes and push back against the magic.

She was weakening. The barrier wouldn’t hold for much longer.

The queen huffed, “you shouldn’t be able to fight this.”

All Emma knew was her instincts had been the cause of the shield. Emma let out a guttural sound, no longer sure if the queen had been spouting lies. If she were to believe the queen didn’t want her dead, perhaps she wouldn’t fight back as hard. Before she could think on it, green magic was added to the mix and the magic moved away, the barrier fading to nothing.

“Not today, sis.” Zelena stretched her arms, their magic colliding in the middle. Emma sat up and watched, heaving as she did. The queen pulled her magic back, knowing only her lighter self could defeat Zelena. Then she was gone in a cloud of purple smoke.

“Well that wasn’t as fun as I’d hoped for.” Hands brushed down her legs then on a sigh, she made her way over to where Emma remained sprawled on the floor. “I suppose you need some help-” she extended a hand, Emma glanced to it then took the hand, completely out of options.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, slipped her hand away and regarded Zelena. She had every reason to hate Emma and as far as she was aware, she hadn’t forgiven her, merely put up with her, because she had no other choice. Zelena had every reason to leave her on the ground.

“What in the world was that about?” Zelena glanced over to the cabin then back at Emma, not at all amused with her lack of response. She raised a brow, “well?”

“I don’t know, but I doubt she’s in there.” Emma tipped her head towards where Zelena had glanced every five seconds, unable to understand what the queen had been trying to achieve.

“Well I know that. I’ve left my little munchkin in there to come and save your sorry ass. I mean, me and Regina are finally getting along. I’m very certain she would never speak to me again if I let anything happen to you.” That explained that, then.

“Doubt she would even care.” Emma looked down, the sadness threatening to swallow her whole. No matter who was to blame, every part of her ached.

Zelena squinted and tipped her head. Emma cursed under her breath for not keeping her mouth shut and she did it even more as a smirk spread across Zelena’s face, “did I cause a stir last night?”

“You could say that.” Emma shook her head, sighed at Zelena and motioned to the cabin, “don’t you need to get back to your daughter?” If only so she could escape the inquisition.

“I’m not a complete fool. I placed a protective barrier over the place. Not just going to leave her completely defenceless, am I? What kind of mother would that make me? But would you like to come in for a cup of tea and spill the tea whilst you’re at it?” Every part of her revelled at causing mischief. Emma contemplated it for a second, wanting someone to talk to. Then sighed, because it would be gossip by tomorrow morning if she told Zelena.

“I need to get back.”

Zelena rolled her eyes, “suit yourself, where do you need to go? Your magic seems useless, the queen wasn’t even trying.”

“It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Send me to-” _Regina’s._ The punch to her gut hit and she had to physically shake her head to rid herself of the thoughts, “Granny’s.” Everyone would be wondering what happened, might as well tell it to the entire group at once.

Zelena wiggled her eyebrows, “if you feel like talking, you know where to find me.”

Her hand wafted in the next minute and green smoke engulfed Emma. The last thing she wanted was to face them, but best to get it over and done with. That list included Regina, because she was the only one who could help with the queen and her motives. She doubted Regina would even want to help, but…she hated herself even more as she landed back at Granny’s and five pairs of eyes swung her way.

“Emma.” Snow was breathless as she pulled Emma into a hug, pulled back, scanned her with both eyes as if checking for cuts and bruises on a child then wrapped her back up, “did she hurt you? I know what she’s like, we need to keep you away from her.”

Regina flinched. Emma caught it in the corner of her eye. Usually all it would take was one look and a nod to tell her she understood. As she pulled away from her mother she didn’t even look her way.

“I’m fine.” She was…back to that and if that didn’t feel like another blow. She would have to keep pretending until the wedding, until the hooded figure appeared, until it was over.

David squeezed her shoulder, “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, not realising Emma was so far from okay it physically pained her. She had to yank herself free.

“Seriously, I’m fine. Zelena was there, she helped and the queen poofed away.” Everyone frowned, more so the only person Emma couldn’t look to. Hook came up from behind and placed a hand on her lower back. His presence made her sink and the level of emotions felt dangerous. They fizzled and she went numb from the inside out.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and dragged her away from her parents. Not that they noticed anything was amiss. Now they knew Emma was safe, they turned and made their way back to the gathered people. “I’ll protect you, love.”

“Henry,” Regina said sharply, not at all concerned with Emma’s safety. Well…she was, or she would’ve already left, but now she saw no harm had befallen her, she was free to leave. “We should go before she causes anymore trouble.”

The word _she_ had been insinuated. Emma couldn’t tell if Regina had meant the queen or her. She supposed it fit either way.

“But, I haven’t-” he turned back to face his mother. Regina sighed and turned back too, keeping her distance. “Mom,” he said and walked towards her, the same time Emma pushed out from under Hook’s arm. She hugged Henry with every bit of strength her arms would allow.  

“Kid, I’m okay.” She brushed through his hair before pulling back. There was a chance he would be caught in another tug of war between his mothers, but things were different now and she only hoped they both could find a way to leave Henry out of it. Emma could feel the hostility roll off Regina as she closed the small distance between them.

“Would you like to stay with your mother or come back with me?” The words were said without a hint of emotion. Emma felt the presence behind her. She had already walked out on him over this. There was no way she could choose Henry right now.

Emma attempted to smile, “sorry kid, I promise to catch up with you soon. It’s just-”

“No, I get it-” he shrugged, stepping backwards.

Turned out, the queen had been right all along.

Emma stood up straight. A hand squeezed her shoulder. Both eyes stayed glued to them as they walked away. On a deep breath, she pulled out from him again and jogged the small distance. If she didn’t even attempt to talk to Regina, it would make everything worse. “Regina,” she pulled on her arm and caused her to spin.

Regina crossed her arms and stared Emma down which made her feel about two inches tall. “What is it, Miss Swan?”

“I…erm…need to talk to you. About the queen. You’re the only one-” she swallowed down tears, realising what she had lost, “you’re the only one who can help.”

Regina looked to her like she was nothing.

Emma felt the world collapse beneath her feet.

It was worse than before. When they had torn into each other without a care. Now care existed between them or it had and Emma would’ve done anything to get it back in that moment. Regina had been the only one to fight for her and she had to go and do something like rip her in two. Any fight Emma had left withered away.

“I can’t help you, dear. Ask your fiancé. I’m sure he will be more use to you than I ever will.”

Henry moved his gaze between the two of them, jaw clenching as he realised he had been lied to. “You are in a fight.” He shook his head, pulled away from Regina then turned and began to walk away from his mothers. They glanced at each other, but anything they had built had shattered.

“You keep making things worse, don’t you? Go back to him, we don’t need you.” Regina spun on her heel and followed her son, intent on saving at least one relationship.

Emma didn’t move. The numbness she’d been experiencing settled deep into her bones. There were no tears, only a sullen face. Each limb was heavy as she turned, back to square one. Each foot made its way back to him. The one person who wouldn’t leave. She didn’t have the energy to speak, she just fell into his side and let him drag her away, not once bothering to ask if she were okay.

All that mattered was he had her.

Emma no longer cared.


	9. Chapter 9

Emma was still curled up in a ball the following morning. Covers pulled to her closed eyes, she fisted it and rubbed the soft material down the bridge of her nose. It made her breath shudder and her legs tucked in tighter to her chest. Hook had already gotten up and was currently downstairs. If she could muster up the energy, she would crawl into the shower and rock under the water. Let herself shatter then pull herself back together for the sake of this wedding.

The door to the bedroom opened, followed by the smell of bacon. It peeked her curiosity. The bed dipped and a hand placed itself on her shoulder, “I made you breakfast.”

A small smile tugged for half a second. Then it dropped. She twisted so her head lay back against the pillow and looked up at her fiancé. The tray on his lap contained pancakes, bacon, some syrup and a cup of coffee. Hook stood as Emma pushed on her palms, the cover draping over her raised knees. He placed down the tray and altered the pillows. Emma leant against them and gave a grateful smile as they tray was placed on her lap, “it smells really good.”

“For once I didn’t burn it-” he winked, because the first time he had attempted bacon they had ended up black and frazzled to a crisp, “is something the matter, Swan?”

Emma’s breath caught at his sincerity. She pulled the tray closer then poured some syrup over the food, “nothing this breakfast can’t fix-” shovelling in a mouthful she smiled at him, “s’good, thanks.”

“I have to look after my soon to be wife.”

Emma nodded and looked down, guilt intensifying. Cheating wasn’t something to excuse away. The bad traits had always been there, she was aware of them when they had begun to date, but there were these moments. He would show affection and Emma did care for him, “Killian, I need to…”

He stood and frowned, crossed his arms and waited for her to finish, “you need to what, love?”

Emma shrugged one shoulder and gave him a lopsided smile, “need to get more of these pancakes.”

“Yes, my love. Anything my love.”

Reaching to the side, she grabbed a pillow and flung it at him with a…giggle. He grabbed onto it and made an expression as if he were butt-hurt, “you hurt me, Swan.”

Emma stabbed her fork and shoved more pancakes into her mouth then took a sip of the burning coffee. She gave him a cheeky grin, whilst her insides turned to mush.

He walked back to the door, but spun on the last second, “oh, me and your father are going out to fish. I had presumed you would still be at the mansion, so we made plans. I hope you don’t mind.”

Emma’s mouth opened and stayed that way for a split second, “oh…I…no, of course not-” she smiled tightly and nodded. He left the room and Emma deflated. The fork crashed on the tray and her head fell backwards against the wall.

***

By the time Emma had dragged herself downstairs, it was already afternoon. Hook had left a couple of hours before and she didn’t expect him back any time soon. It left her with some time to herself and her thoughts. After some deliberation, she picked up the phone and pressed it to her ear.

“Mom?”

Emma sighed, “kid…erm…do you wanna come over? I have the house to myself, we could play video games and watch movies.”

There was a long pause. Emma held her breath. “Are you and mom in a fight?”

“Yes, Henry. We got into a fight. I’m sorry I lied to you.” More than sorry, if she were to lose him to she would lose her mind.

“You know I hate being lied to.”

“I know, did you speak to…R-Regina?”

“Yeah,” he said, full of accusation, “she said you hurt her.”

Head bowing, she swallowed, before whispering, “I did…but I didn’t intend to. I messed up, okay? But I don’t want to lose you.”

Another long pause where Emma bit her lip and felt her heart rate pounding, “I’ll come over, but you’ve got to stop lying to me.”

“Yeah? And I’ll…try, but sometimes I do stupid shit. I’m probably gunna mess up again.” Not that she wanted to mess up or hurt Henry, but she was a complete screw up and everything was spiralling out of control.

“Mom would tell you off for swearing. And I know mom, I don’t expect you to be perfect, just you.”

Emma nodded to herself. All of that was too painful to touch, “okay, want to meet me at the store so we can hoard up on junk food?”

“You’re avoiding Mom.”

“Yup.”

“Fine. I’ll walk all the way to the store just because you don’t want to pick me up at the mansion.”

“See you in about thirty minutes?”

“Yeah, see you then.”

The line went dead and Emma fell back against the couch. At least she could make a start on mending one relationship.

***

It had only been a few days since she had run out on Regina and already she was stood outside of the Mayor’s office, fingers twiddling in front of her middle and eyes glued to the door. Emma twisted as if to leave, shook her arms and went back to the door. Knuckles rested against the glass, but she sighed instead of knocking. She took two paces backwards, slid her hands into her jacket and continued to stare.

One minute turned into two. Which turned into three. By the time she knew it, ten minutes had passed and she had yet to decide. It was made for her when the door swung open, followed by Regina stepping out of it. She froze, took one look at Emma then swiftly shut the door and continued down the hall.

Emma followed and Regina stopped just before the door to the exit. On a deep breath she spun and glared, “what do you want, Miss Swan?”

“I just want to talk.” The look on her face was far worse than when she had shown her the engagement ring. “Please, Regina. All I want is to talk.”

“You lost your right to that, now-” her head shook and she barged past Emma as if thinking better about whatever it was she was supposed to be doing, “leave me alone.”

Emma didn’t understand the concept. She never had before. Legs paced quickly to keep up with Regina, but the door slammed shut the moment she went to walk into Regina’s office. The lock sounded and Emma pulled then pushed on the handle, forehead falling against the door, “oh come on, please, I’m sorry. I screwed up.”

Both palms pressed into the door and she leant on one foot, closed both eyes and thought up ways to get Regina to open the door. Short of banging on it until the noise infuriated her, Emma groaned, spun and slid down it. With her back pressed to it, she sighed, “I’ll stay here all night if I have to.”

Perhaps she didn’t deserve to talk to Regina, but days without seeing her had drove her crazy. It was hard to pretend she was happy when she didn’t at least have Regina by her side. She thumped her head on the door, to receive…nothing. Unbeknown to Emma, Regna sat on the other side of the door in the same position and bumped her head against it with tears pricking her eyes, “go,” she said sternly, “it’s what you’re good at.”

Emma twisted, a hand on the door and the side of her head pressed to it, “I’m sorry,” she whispered, wishing there was something more she could say. It wasn’t adequate a word to make up for what she had done.

“Sorry?” she gave an incredulous chuckle, “I don’t want your apologies. Come to think of it, I don’t want anything from you.”

“I know I messed up. I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t…”

“What, dear? Treated me like a cheap hook up. I’m surprised you didn’t leave cash on your way out.”

The hurt in her voice had Emma close her eyes and press her cheek into the door, “you know it wasn’t like that.”

“It’s exactly what that was like. You used me. I’m done being used.”

“That was-” _fuck._ Each finger scraped along the door and she thumped her head again, “I didn’t…Regina I messed up. It’s what I do, but please, please, know it wasn’t you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Emma almost fell as the door was opened. She scrambled to her feet and wanted to crawl back down at the hard gleam to Regina’s eyes. Her face tensed and she sneered, “you used me.”

Her head shook, “no,” and she took a step forwards to grab onto Regina’s shoulders in an attempt to anchor her or comfort her. Regina stepped back and slapped her hand away.

“Don’t you dare touch me.” Her fists clenched by her side and those eyes sought out Emma’s in a way which had her stomach churn. Hurting Regina made her ache more than anything ever had. It was like when she had brought Marian back all over again, but that time had been unintentional. “You. Used. Me.”

Emma’s bottom lip trembled, “I would never do that to you.”

Regina spun and walked towards her desk. With both hands placed on it she took deep breaths. Emma shut the door and inched closer. “You needed a distraction. I offered myself up to you. You took the opportunity then left.”

“That’s not what-”

“Happened-” Regina spun, “your intent doesn’t matter. I was a hook-up for you. Nothing more.”

Emma crossed her arms and bowed her head. If she looked to her any longer she would end up a mess on the floor. Being on the receiving end of Regina’s verbal blows would easily do that. “It was more than that.”

Regina sneered, “you fucked me and left. I was a cheap dirty nothing to you.”

“Regina.” Emma’s arms flailed as she took steps forwards. They crossed back around her chest to stop herself from reaching out, “that’s a load of bullshit. You're more than nothing. Gods, you’re…”

A palm hit her forehead. Emma wanted to scream, all the words and real feelings wanting to burst free whilst they couldn’t have chosen a better timing.

“Would you ever leave him?”

“I…”

“So…what then, Emma? You expected me to be okay with what happened? Or were you planning on having an affair with me behind his back? Either way, I’m still your dirty little secret.”

“No…that’s not-”

“Have you told him?”

All Emma could manage was a shake of her head. Regina’s jaw clenched and she turned back to face her desk, arms circling her waist. Emma wanted to pull Regina to her chest and make the pain go away. The one she had caused, “I’m sorry, it wasn’t like that. You’re twisting it in your head.”

Regina chuckled without humour, “are you planning on telling him?” Emma’s silence gave all the answers she needed. “I’m not twisting anything. You used me.”

“Will you stop saying that?” Emma’s arms flew into the air then slapped her legs.

Regina spun back around, “no, because that’s what you did,” she spat, came close enough so their noses almost touched, “if you never planned to be with me, you never should've kissed me.”

“I didn’t plan to leave!” her chest heaved, “all I could think about in that moment was that I needed you.”

Regina’s head snapped to the side, “we all know you’d never leave him.”

Emma swallowed. A week remained until the wedding, it was a done deal as far as she was concerned. Unless she told him the truth. Each time she had tried, the words jammed in her throat. She would lose everyone. She would be alone.

“I can’t,” she whispered, arms circling her waist.

“Can’t or won’t?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted softly, the tremble to Regina’s body breaking her in two, “I’m sorry. What can I do to make it right?”

“Nothing.”

Regina’s chest quivered and her head remained to the side. Nothing had ever felt so bad than to witness what she had done. “You’re my best friend.”

Brown gleaming eyes looked upwards before Regina caught Emma’s gaze, voice filled with tears and higher in pitch, “that’s the problem.”

A tear rolled down Regina’s flushed cheek. Emma took a step forwards and lightly gripped Regina’s shoulders. Their eyes met and made little movements as they stared. With arms still tucked into her chest, Emma slowly wrapped her arms around Regina’s shoulders. Giving her enough time to pull away.

“I hate you,” she said, but burrowed her face in Emma’s neck.

Elbows dug into Emma’s rib cage as she held on tighter. One hand went to the back of her head and the other held her closer, “you can hate me, I deserve it,” she whispered, “but…” _please don’t leave me._

Regina flinched as if she had only just realised whose arms she was in. She pulled back, “you can go now,” she said, turning so Emma’s hands dropped away, “shut the door on your way out.” With stiff movements, she made her way back to her desk, stopping by the window to stare out of it.

It took a moment, but Emma nodded to herself, “I don’t want to lose you,” she said, turned and left the office as quickly as her legs would carry.

***

Emma plunged a forkful of cake into her mouth, then another and another. Granny eyed her, but when Emma pouted and pulled the cake to her chest, Granny simply huffed, wafted her arms, said, “eat me out of a business,” then walked away.

Snow was sat on the stool next to Emma, nibbling each cake to see which one she preferred. She sighed at her daughter’s lack of manners, “Emma. You aren’t supposed to eat the entire cake. This is about testing them to see which one you like best. Then you pick one out for the wedding which is happening in just over a week.”

“This one tastes good,” she shrugged, shovelling a giant piece of chocolate cake into her mouth, “we’ll just use this one.”

Snow had seen Emma pile in the junk food when things weren’t going so well, using it to comfort. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t ever ended up in pyjamas with a tub of ice cream to go with them, but Emma had eaten about half of the cake and was still going. “Emma, is something wrong?”

“Nope.” Her hand went to her stomach and she pushed the cake away, “okay, I think I’m done.” She placed her head in her arms and stayed that way, shoulders quivering.

“Sweetie, what’s the matter?” She circled Emma’s back, glancing around to see the diner was practically empty.

“Keep messing everything up,” she mumbled, not wanting to move and unable to believe she was almost crying in Granny’s diner. She peaked her head up, eyes red rimmed, “am I doing the right thing?”

“You’re marrying for love, what could be more right than that?”

Emma’s mind didn’t go to Hook, it went to another person. The one person she couldn’t imagine out of her life and yes, she had risked everything to go to the underworld to save Hook, but she had just felt the darkness seep from within and the emotional tornado which had hit had overpowered her senses.

Emma shrugged again, “can we go?”

“We haven’t even picked a cake yet. Your wedding is next weekend, Emma.” It hurt more than she could’ve imagined. She was a mess and the fact her mother was blinded to that…hurt. She pushed away from the counter, stood and made her way out of the diner. She was outside before an arm pulled her back and wrapped her into loving arms.

“Mom-” her bottom lip trembled and she buried her face in the crook of Snow’s neck. The last time she remembered this happening was under a cave with a trigger as they had almost died. Before she and Regina combined their magic and it’d stopped.

“Tell me what’s wrong, sweetie. I know you haven’t been enthusiastic about this wedding, but I thought it was because of the visions. I just want you to be happy, Emma.” Emma cried outside of Granny’s and it was so uncharacteristic of her, Snow didn’t know what to think.

Emma remained silent, pulled away and wiped beneath both eyes. “It’s nothing, just cold feet. I should…go back, I should be with him.” Snow wasn’t convinced, but Emma’s head fought in never ending conflict. One she could end with the simple decision. It had been easy before, it could be easy again. Emma turned and walked away from Granny’s, ignoring any attempt her mother made to get her to stop.

Nothing about it felt easy, no matter what lies she continued to spin.


	10. Chapter 10

One day turned into two, which turned into three. She went to work, she would meet up with her mother for wedding planning, then she would go back to the house to spend the rest of the time with Hook. Less than a week remained until the wedding and Emma found herself dreading it more and more. As usual, she put it to the back of her mind, all the while forcing up her cheeks and trying to act like the doting girlfriend.

It was failing and even Hook had noticed. He didn’t say a word, content to be marrying Emma no matter what was wrong with his future wife. She made conversation with him and her father and her mother and occasionally people she would bump into on the street, but other than that, she would remain silent, replaying the words she only wished she could say out loud.

There were some visions and each time she would have one, the usual, _I’m fine,_ would fall from her lips. She regretted the time wasted when someone had been around to look at her as if she were anything but fine. The only person who would persuade her to be honest. All Emma wanted to do was talk to that one person. To crawl into arms which had felt so inviting and warm. Arms she had only experienced for one night, but ones she craved for each night she would sleep next to Hook.

Regina had been avoiding her. Since the day she had gone to her office, they hadn’t spoken or seen each other. Not that she could blame her. She’d heard from Henry. After the day they had spent together, he had come around a little, but was ferociously on team Regina. If anyone ever did anything to hurt his mother, he would go on defence. Even if that was against his other mother. Emma missed him, but understood.

Emma wanted to see Regina. More than anything, she wished she had the courage to go back and talk to her again. Even if it meant arguing, she would take anything at this point. She did surmise it would only hurt them more. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Regina any more than she already had.

She didn’t much care for herself.

These visions were still looming and without the constant of being reminded she had something to fight for, the thought of fighting them withered and died. When the time came, she would give it her all…for Henry, but other than that, she no longer saw the point. Emma had been brought back to square one, only this time she was without Regina. The circumstances had been sucking the life out of her day after excruciating day.

On a sigh, she twisted and leant closer to Hook. He draped an arm around her shoulder. They continued to watch a sports game Emma had put on, not that she paid any attention to it. Her phone bleeped and she rolled her eyes, ignoring it. It bleeped again. On a grunt, she reached into her back pocket to retrieve it.

Her heart stopped at the two messages from Henry.

<< _Could you come over to the mansion? I need to talk to you. >>_

Followed by:

<< _Mom says it’s okay. >>_

Emma stared at the screen. A beat passed. Then she was up, wide awake, nerves on edge, but so desperate to see the pair of them her leather jacket was around her shoulders in an instant.

“Care to tell me where you’re going, Swan?” Hook hadn’t moved from the couch, but the weight of his stare could have burnt holes through her skull, “or are we going to have to go through this all over again?”

“Henry needs me.” Her fist clenched and she felt something growing back inside of her. No way was she going to let him down.

<< _On my way. >>>_

She hit send and shoved the phone into her pocket before Hook could protest. She supposed it must have been nice for him to have Emma all to himself recently. “I have to go,” she said and was out of the door in a flash.

Bug pulling up outside of the mansion, Emma let out a long breath, both hands still gripping the wheel even though the engine had been switched off. Her chest shuddered with each breath she took, “don’t mess this up,” she whispered, snapping the seat belt off and jumping out of the car.

The walk towards the door was tense. One which usually had Emma unable to contain her smile. Yesterday had been their scheduled evening for family meals and Emma had stayed at her house, unlocking her phone every few minutes in case she had missed a text or call. It had almost been midnight by the time she had given up and crawled into bed.

The door was open as Emma stepped onto the porch, “come in,” sounding from the other side. Emma caught a glimpse of Regina, following her inside. When she shut the door, Regina spun from where she had been waiting in the entryway.

“We’re here for Henry. What put what happened aside, but don’t make the mistake that I’m allowing you back into my life.” Regina’s words cut through, Emma not having realised she had been tossed out of it.

“That’s not fair. We’re supposed to be friends.” Her voice had wobbled and already the icy stare was numbing her insides, “please, can we talk? You know I didn’t mean to-”

“No. Miss Swan.” Regina spun on her heel, walking away to leave Emma stood alone, hands sliding into the pockets of her jeans.

It was the story of her life. Get something good and run from it. Perhaps that was the reason she had managed to cling onto Hook for so long. He was easy. He wouldn’t leave and there was no need to get scared enough to run. Not that she wanted to dwell. Blinking rapidly to push down on tears, she followed Regina to find her sitting on the couch, Henry pacing up and down next to it.

“Are you okay, kid?”

She took a seat next to Regina on the couch. She shuffled to the opposite end and leant against the chair arm. Emma didn’t comment.

“I need to tell you guys something.” He moved so he was standing in front of them, hands shaking in front of his middle. “Will you please not freak out, because, well, it’s not a big deal and I can’t change it.”

“Of course, Henry, we love you,” Regina said and Emma sighed at the ‘we.’

“Okay.” He glanced to Emma who nodded her head and smiled in encouragement. He took a deep breath out, “I broke up with Violet-” both palms raised, “not because I don’t like her, I do, she’s really fun, but I just…don’t think it’s going to work out between us.”

“Kid, you know we just want you to be happy, right? If you just see Violet as a friend, then we’re okay with that.” Emma was already feeling proud of her son, knowing the courage it took to be honest and end a relationship. Even one between thirteen-year olds.

Regina looked to him from where she sat twisted away from his other mother and smiled softly, “there’ll be other girls out there for you.”

“Actually, mom…that’s not exactly what I want.” Both arms crossed around his chest and he shuffled, looking to the ground. Regina and Emma shared a glance, both raising their brows and believing they had caught on.

“Henry if you like…if you would prefer to be with a boy-” Henry shook his head at Regina, huffing slightly. His arms dropped and he bit his lip.

“You know we’d have no problem with that, right?” Emma said as if she hadn’t struggled for so long about her attraction to females. After her night with Regina, she realised she had never felt more comfortable than with a woman. A few men scattered her past, but she’d never found herself reacting to them, to wanting more.

“I don’t want that, either.” Another glance between his mothers, but they remained silent to let him talk. “I’m…actually…asexual.”

“Oh.” Emma looked between Regina and her son, “so…you don’t like either boys or girls?”

“No, I still like girls. I want a relationship with someone, but…I…erm, I’m not interested in the physical side. You know-” his eyes widened and he only hoped he hadn’t blushed, “that stuff.”

Regina frowned, glanced to Emma then quickly glanced to her son, “you mean…sex?”

Henry bit his lip and nodded, “like, I can look at a girl and think she’s pretty, but…I don’t want to do anything. I suppose kissing isn’t so bad now I’ve tried it-” he shrugged, it wasn’t as if it'd felt horrible, but it didn’t make him want to do more either, “but I don’t feel any…you know? Sexual feelings.”

This time he did blush. Saying those things to his mothers in any capacity wasn’t easy, but he wanted to tell someone and who better than his mothers?

Emma gave a little chuckle at his cheeks, “you don’t need to be embarrassed. I don’t know much about asexuality, but it’s not the first time I’ve heard of it either. I might get things wrong though, so if I do, would you mind explaining how you feel to me?”

Henry swallowed and nodded at Emma, “yeah, thanks mom.”

“I don’t understand. Your thirteen Henry, how do you know you’ll never want to be intimate with a woman?” Not that she particularly wanted to think about that concept, but she had to let go of the mom side which wanted to shrivel away at the thought of her young boy growing up.

“It’s not that I can’t…feel that way, but guys in my school always seem to be talking about it and I don’t fit in with that. It wasn’t something I had thought about, because why would I think about not feeling something? It’s only since I’ve got a girlfriend that I realised I had never felt any…stuff, for anyone.”

Regina crossed one leg over the other and tried to understand, “like I said, Henry, you’re only thirteen, maybe-”

“Regina. What teenage boy do you know that doesn’t think about sex?” Teenage boys and hormones, if Henry felt as he did then she didn’t believe him aging would make a difference. She might have a hard time accepting herself, but she wouldn’t go around not accepting other people. Especially her son.

“Mom, imagine I asked you to be attracted to girls.”

Regina raised her brows and took every ounce of strength not to look at the woman sat next to her, “I’m bisexual Henry. I’m attracted to both men and women.”

“Oh, I didn’t know. Bad analogy.” He crossed his arms and took a moment to try and find the right words. Emma looked down and bit her lip so hard she tasted blood. “A door. Imagine being attracted to a door. Have you ever been attracted to a door or thought about being attracted to a door?”

“No, of course not. I’m not going to want a relationship with a door, either.” Emma groaned in frustration and Regina whipped her head around to her.

“Listen to what he’s telling you. It doesn’t affect us anyway. What Henry does in a relationship is not really any of our business.” It was for the next few years at least, the thought made her turn to Henry, “when you’re older. Even then we’re still going to be your mothers and want to be in the loop.”

“You said you still wanted relationships. Sex is a part of that. It can be intimate and you can show someone how much you-” Regina’s head lowered and she said these next words so low they almost didn’t hear, “how much they mean to you.”

Emma clenched her fists so hard nails dug into her palms.

“There are other ways to do that. I’m heteromantic, so I still have romantic feelings for girls. I want a relationship with a girl, but I don’t want…that.” He didn’t see what was so hard to understand about the concept. He wanted a relationship and to meet someone one day with whom he could spend the rest of his life with. “I still want to find someone who I love.”

“You will,” Emma said, confident anyone who didn’t want to be with Henry wasn’t worth his time to begin with, “I’m proud of you.”

He chuckled, “yeah, maybe.”

Regina shuffled on the couch and cleared her throat. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she didn’t understand. To her, in a relationship, sex was intimate. She understood it being used for many a reason, when lonely or in need of comfort or pleasure, but when love was involved, “then won’t you just be friends?”

Henry balked, “whatever,” a glisten to his eyes Emma and Regina felt in their gut, “just-” his head shook and he bit down on any response he wanted to lash out with, looking to Emma, “thanks mom, for being so cool.” He turned, left the room, banging up the stairs as he took them two at a time.

“That wasn’t cool, Regina.” No matter how angry Regina remained, Emma had every right to be pissed off if she hurt their son. No matter how unintentional it might have been. “Don’t say that to him again.”

Regina twisted, “I don’t understand,” she whispered, “why doesn’t he want that? Is it my fault-” her head turned to Emma, she stilled before sighing, “did my influence do this?”

“Regina-” hands ran through her hair as Emma wondered how an earth she was supposed to explain this to a fairy tale character, but at least she was speaking to her…almost, “do some research or sit down and talk to him. I don’t know how to put it to you. You’ve got to accept what he’s telling you.”

As if she had only just remembered, she looked up to Emma with hard eyes, “you can leave now.”

Emma twisted so their knees almost touched, “can we please talk?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Regina turned so she could look at Emma, eyes filled with so much sorrow Emma wanted to lean in to try and make it better. She had never intended to mess up so badly, to be stuck in a relationship she was beginning to despise. To the hurt the only person she needed so desperately.

Emma nodded and looked down, “could you at least help me with the queen?”

Regina sighed, “tell me what happened.”

Emma peaked both eyes up, catching Regina still staring at her. There had always been…something there and why was it now Emma had only just noticed?

Emma began recounting the story, from the fireballs to the magic to the point she was on the ground and Zelena had to save her.

“I’m still surprised at the Zelena part,” Regina said, taking in the rest of the information.

Emma gave a little hum, “she said you would kill her if she didn’t help me and she didn’t want to mess up now you’re both kind of on good terms.”

“She said that?” Both eyebrows shot up and she searched Emma to try and sense a lie, nodding when she could find none.

“Yeah, I really think she wants to make it work with you. She is trying, you’ve got to give her that.” Anyone would be a complete idiot not to want Regina in their lives and here Emma was, messing that up.

“Yes, she is. Did the queen say anything else?”

Emma paused for a minute, just to look at her, smiling softly.

“What?” Regina frowned, not understanding the gaze.

“Nothing,” _but your willingness to help me after what I put you through._ “But, she said some things. Seemed impressed I could use magic, then annoyed when I had the barrier up. Apparently, she wasn’t trying to kill me and said she’s not the person under the hood.”

“You thought it was the queen? You know what, you thought it was me at one point, so why does that surprise me?” Regina was up, coldness coming back instantly. “I think we’re done here.”

Regina smoothed down her skirt then walked towards the door. Emma cursed at herself, jumping up to follow.

“But I think she knows who is.” Regina stopped, spun and looked at Emma. “Look, I’m sorry for thinking it was you. I know that was unfair, but could you see why I thought maybe it could be her?”

“No-” Regina shook her head, the heartbreak so very present. Both eyes closed and she sighed, “yes-” walking a few paces to Emma, “I want to help you, but I don’t know if I can be okay with this.”

Emma nodded tightly, “I’m not sorry that we slept together,” she said, hoping this wouldn’t make everything worse, “but I’m sorry it hurt you-” chest shuddering, she crossed her arms and tried for some semblance of the truth, “I shouldn’t have made a move when I was with someone else. I wanted you, Regina and I didn’t think about what would happen next. When I woke up I panicked, but…gods-” both arms flopped then one hand lightly gripped Regina’s fingers and squeezed, “I’m glad I got to spend a night with you. Even if it makes me a selfish ass-hole.”

Regina looked to the side, but didn’t pull her hand away. Emma toyed with it and Regina curled her fingers upwards to squeeze back. “Do you really think she knows who is under the hood?”

“I don’t know.” Emma didn’t really have a clue about anything anymore, expect Regina’s hand was warm and the last thing she wanted was to let go. “She could be messing with me.”

“I guess we’ll find out sooner or later.” Regina inhaled slowly then let it all out in one breath, twisting her head to face Emma and squeezed, “you look miserable, Emma.”

“I’m fine.”

Regina pulled her hand away and crossed her arms, “if you say so.”

“I miss you-” eyes fell downwards the moment the words came out, “will we ever be good?”

Regina took a shaky breath, “I don’t know if I can forgive you.”

Emma connected their gaze, “is it selfish to say that I need you?”

“And I don’t?” Regina took a step back, throat constricting as she spoke, “I’ve not stopped suddenly caring about you, you idiot. It…it hurts, Emma.”

“I know.” It wasn’t as if she wasn’t hurting too. “What can I do to make it better?”

All Regina did was stare with longing, eyebrows furrowed and eyes which glistened. How many times had she looked to Emma that way, for her to dismiss it? That look was more of an answer than anything could be.

Emma had never realised how much she was wanted.

***

The next few days her son’s courage had spiralled around her mind. If he could be honest, it meant she could. After leaving work, Emma circled around town a few times. She didn’t know what to do, if she should confess to Hook and risk the wedding being called off. If she even wanted the wedding to go ahead. There was something deeply rooted inside which had her clinging onto the idea that the wedding was something she had to do. She couldn’t even explain why.

She pulled up outside of the house, getting out of the car and silently made her way inside, hoping she could sneak upstairs for a shower. That was until she noticed a familiar bag pack dumped at the bottom of the stairs. Frowning, she walked into the next room.

“Henry?” He was sat on the couch, comic book in hand, “is everything alright?”

“Aye, the lad showed up looking for you. Couldn’t exactly turn the boy away now, could I?” Hook seemed more than miffed and Emma felt the urge to punch him all over again, when just a few days ago she had been cuddling up to him. She ran a hand down her face and plonked herself down next to her son.

“Yeah, it’s just mom going on and on about me well...” it had been _embarrassing;_ every time his mother had uttered the word sex he turned into a beetroot, “didn’t want to have to deal with it.”

“I’m sorry kid, do you want to go and talk to her? Maybe the two of us could get through.”

Hook’s jaw clenched and he flung his arms into the air. “A wonderful idea, Leave your dashing fiancé at home yet again.” The pair gave him daggers, so he lifted his arms up in surrender, “it was only a joke, Swan.” They both knew it wasn’t, not that they were going to bring any of that to light.

“You guys are in a fight. Will you be able to talk to her without yelling at each other?” He moved his eyes back to his comic book, not looking up at either of them.

“We managed to other day.” Emma hadn’t heard from Regina since. She’d tried calling her once and it had gone to voicemail, all the while Emma had been stood on the other side of the road, watching as Regina hit the decline button without a second thought.

“You and Regina are fighting? Why is this the first I’m hearing of this?” Hook moved closer and Emma knew she had to tell him, whether she wanted to or not. She supposed the outcome could decide her future for her, whether that be a good or bad thing she couldn’t tell.

“Go and wait in the car kid, I’ll be out soon.”

“But-”

“I’ll be out in a minute,” she said, feeling a slight pang of guilt as she knew this could take longer than a minute. He sighed, but grabbed his comic, flung his backpack over one shoulder and made his way to the bug.

“Look-” she stood, wiping her palms down her pants, “I didn’t tell you, because it didn’t mean anything.” Emma knew it was a lie the moment it flew from her mouth, her heart breaking at the statement, knowing it would hurt Regina just as much.

“What didn’t mean anything?” His one hand clenched and he looked to Emma like he had after he’d discovered darkness had been swirling around his veins. A shiver ran through her body, but she put her fears aside.

“When I was at the mansion, me and-” she swallowed, hanging her head, “me and Regina slept together.”

“You-” he pointed his hook in her direction, shaking his head, “I knew this was coming. I knew it, Swan. It’s always you and her. You’ve never made time for me. I should’ve known you were a cheat and to stoop so low you had to go and sleep with the only person who would look at you twice, because she has no one else-”

“Don’t talk about her like that.” Emma’s face filled with fury, where shame had just been.

“How did you expect me to react, Swan?” Shaking his head, he began pacing around the room, throw a punch into the air on a grunt then turned to face Emma. “You can forget walking out of that door.”

“Excuse me?” Emma had lost all of the care in the world…but not when it came to them.

“If you want this wedding to go ahead, you need to choose. Right now. Me or Her.” He smirked, knowing how much Emma wouldn’t let him go.

“You expect me to leave Henry sitting in the car all night? You expect us to stop co-parenting because of a…a…” she couldn’t bring herself to say mistake, because it had felt right and the realest thing she had felt in a long time, “a one time thing? Regina would never make me choose.”

“I bet this was her plan all along. Seduce you, throw you out and then have you ruining everything between us.” Emma looked at him like he had gone crazy, but she didn’t feel like telling him she had made the move. “I don’t really care what you do, but you’re not seeing that woman. For all I know you’ll continue seeing her behind my back.”

“I’m not choosing between you and the mother of my son.” Both hands went to her hips and for the first time in what had felt like a long, excruciatingly dire time, she felt as if she were alive. “Screw you. If you want to call off the wedding then don’t be a coward.”

Hook grinned, “like you, Swan.” His face turned malicious and he stalked closer to Emma as if hunting prey. “You slept with another woman instead of even bothering to make it work with me. Is this what you do? Get scared and then mess things up because you were an orphan and mommy and daddy didn’t teach you how to be brave-” his hook ran down her face and she shivered.

Emma knocked it away, “don’t.”

“You always play the victim, this time you don’t get to. You’re the one who cheated,” he sneered, “I might have made mistakes, but at least I own up to them and I’ve never cheated.”

“You’re talking out of your ass.” She crossed her arms. He did have every right to be angry. “That’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard. I can’t believe I ever dared trust you.”

“It’s time you did. Choose, I’m not going to marry a woman who can’t put me first.”

Emma stayed silent, arms hanging loosely from her chest and took a deep breath, “me,” she said softly, eyes staring at the ground. Now the word was out, she lifted her gaze and smirked, “me,” she said firmly, “I’m done with you.”

Before he could even utter a single word, she turned, opened the door and slammed it shut with everything she had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do hope I wrote Henry's coming out okay. I did do some research on asexuality, but if I got anything wrong please let me know and I can try to edit. Same with anything else which comes up in future chapters. I'm learning the best I can :)


	11. Chapter 11

Emma concentrated on each step and used Henry as an anchor. If he was close by, she and Regina wouldn’t end up in a fight. Henry had eyes his mother the entire way over. He didn’t know what had just happened, but had enough sense not to ask. Emma focused on getting Henry to the mansion and getting his stubborn mother to stop being so stubborn.

Henry pushed open the door and heels clipped along the floor as they walked inside. A flushed mayor followed. Regina pulled her son into her arms and held. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I love you. No matter what, I will always love and accept you.”

Henry squeezed his arms and eyes, sighing at the words. They shared a tight embrace. Emma lurked in the background, the urge to sneak out strong. Regina wouldn’t forgive her for a second time, so she stayed near the door. Ready to make her exit whenever the opportunity arose.

He peaked his head up, “you mean that?”

Using a palm, Regina brushed back his messy hair and kissed his forehead, “I mean it. I’ve spent the entire day researching-” brown eyes flickered to Emma, frowning as she swayed her shoulders and stared into nothing, “I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you. We’ll talk more, okay? I want to know everything about you, Henry.”

“Yeah, okay,” he beamed so glad to have both of his mother’s acceptance, “love you, mom. Can I play video games now?”

“Go on,” she chuckled and cupped his cheek lightly with a soft smile. He returned it then shot off in an instant.  She stood up straight and smoothed down her skirt, preparing to tackle the human sized elephant in the room.

“Now that’s all well and done.” Somewhere deep in Emma, she was happy for them and wanted to roll her eyes at Regina and remind her she had been an idiot. For payback on all those times it had happened in reverse, instead her face was sullen and her insides numb.  “I’m going to the rabbit hole to get wasted. If you need me you know where to find me.” She turned and muttered, “not that you’ll need me,” under her breath.

Regina heard, grabbed onto her arm and yanked her back into the mansion, “I don’t think so. Talk to me, Emma, getting yourself into a drunken state isn’t going to do you any good.”

With sluggish movements, Emma twisted back around and sighed. Regina looked to her with concern and for a moment she wanted to unburden herself. Until the self-pity hit and she decided drowning in her sorrow sounded more appealing. “I’m not a child. You can’t tell me what to do.”

Emma pulled her arm free, already reminded of how he used to trap her with that hook and opened the door. Regina crossed her arms and watched as Emma dragged her feet out of the mansion. “You are a child, Miss Swan.”

Too numb to respond, she slammed the door shut. It made it worse, the feeling settled deep within her bones and made her ache. Regina hadn’t followed. She would’ve done anything for Regina to pull her back once more and demand answers. To care enough to make sure she was okay. She supposed it would interfere with her plans and she was tired of thinking, but it would’ve been nice.

Emma drove to the bar, parked her bug and figured she could leave it there overnight. A thought to call Lily popped into her mind, but it darkened her mood and she was in no state for company. Shoulders slouched and thoughts against her, Emma made her way into the bar and plonked herself onto a stool, elbows resting on the sticky bar. Her head fell into her hands with a pout.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked, the same one who had been there the night Hook had disappeared. After Regina and her mother had left her alone for five minutes, turned out he was great to talk to. Hook had eventually made a reappearance, after he’d claimed to have been stuck on the ship due to faulty doors.

Hook had left.

Emma groaned and closed her eyes, realising he never did apologise for that or the dream catcher. His absence and excuse, had seen to it his actions were all but forgotten. He gained instant forgiveness without doing anything to earn it.

“Something strong.” Emma opened her eyes to peep up at the guy who stood with a towel in one of the glasses. He offered up a friendly smile, but Emma was unsure if she wanted to talk or hide in a booth. The bar wasn’t crowded. A few regulars dotted the bar whilst a group of people were stood around the pool table. No one had batted an eyelid at Emma’s arrival.

He lent both elbows on the bar and leant forwards, “we don’t serve that.”

Emma raised a brow, but the rest of her face remained neutral, “then get me a whiskey.”

“Coming up.” He turned, lifted a glass to the bottle hanging from the wall and twisted his head over one shoulder, “but if you get drunk and start causing trouble, sheriff or not, I’ll kick you out on your ass.”

“Noted,” Emma said dryly and pulled the filled glass towards her, “open me a tab.” Half of the burning liquid was gone in one swift gulp. Emma hissed and slammed the glass back down, “and keep ‘em coming.”

“Will do, boss.” He was back with both elbows on the bar, leaning in close, “but if you want to talk, I hear bartenders are the new therapist. Let it spill and it doesn’t leave this room.”

“Perhaps after a few more of these.” Emma looked down into the liquid, hands cupped around the glass and stared into the contents. All she wanted was to shut her brain off and take the edge of the pain, but all she could seem to do was think of the people she had let down.

He left her to it, handing over drinks when required. It took a few more before Emma began to feel it. “I’m going to die soon and the one thing I could’ve done right, I completely messed up.” She saluted the glass in the air then took another sip as the bartender wiped his hands on a cloth, flung it on the side then made his way around the bar. He slid on a stool next to Emma.

“Care to elaborate.” He’d heard a few things about the saviour, but his sources weren’t always reliable. Either way, this was about more than a little town gossip.

Emma gave a chuckle and shook her head, “I’m supposed to be the saviour, but I can’t even do that right. I’m Hook’s happy ending, but I just ended the relationship because I cheated on him, with my best friend, who happens to be the mother of my son and-” she twisted her head to the side, “you know the mayor, gorgeous brunette, way out of my league. I have no idea why she even had sex with me. I’m a mess compared to her.”

“Wow…I didn’t exactly see that one-”

“All the while I’m having visions of my death and Regina is the only person who tried to help. Then I went and screwed our relationship up too.”

“Literally, from what I’m hearing.” Emma smirked at him, taking another sip of her drink.

“I ran out on her in the middle of the night. Went back to him.”

“Ouch.”

“Yup.”

“She’s no longer talking you?”

“No idea, still the only one that’ll help me though.”

He turned and frowned at her, one arm bent on the bar, “so you’re telling me you’re seeing your death, which is all kinds of weird if you don’t mind me saying, and the mayor is the only person who has tried to help, not even your parents or the fiancé, who I’m guessing is no longer a fiancé tried to help and you ran out on her?”

Emma propped her arms on the bar and twiddled with her engagement ring, “this wasn’t how it was supposed to go.” There was silence for a moment. Emma sat lost in thought, ones the whisky prompted her to share, “I got my parents, became the saviour. I was supped to give Hook his happy ending and marry a man. I wasn’t supposed to-”

“Want something different,” he added, Emma not even attempting to finish that thought. Still too sober to touch it. She nodded in spite of herself, the truth bubbling to the surface whether she wanted it to or not. “What do you want, Emma?”

Her shoulders lifted high then fell. Nobody had asked her that question in a long time. So long, she didn’t want the question posed, too afraid of the answer. “Another drink,” she mumbled, pushing the glass to the other side of the bar.

“On it.” He was behind the bar and passed the drink over quicker than Emma could get her bearings. He leant back over the bar, “might want to slow down, someone has come looking for you.”

She sighed and didn’t bother to turn around. The mystery person slid onto the stool the bartender had just occupied and waved at him, “give me a glass of red. She can pay.”

“Regina?” Emma looked to her with slight disbelief. She had wanted to be left alone to wallow in her own self-pity, but she sighed at the thought at having a bit of company in the meantime.

“I packed Henry up and shipped him to your parents. If you’re going to get drunk then at least invite someone to do it with you.” Regina hadn’t planned to get drunk, a few drinks to take the edge off and perhaps let herself say a few things her sobered mind wouldn’t allow, but Emma didn’t need to know that. Whatever had gone on between them, she wasn’t about to let Emma fall down the rabbit hole.

“Drinking buddies.” Now they both had their drinks she lifted her glass into the air and Regina did the same. They tapped their glasses and took a sip, “reminds me of when I screwed you over.”

The self-pity was there alright and Emma planned to let it out until she drowned in it. Until she couldn’t breathe and the only way to make it go away was another drink. It was a sure way to end up utterly drunk to the point of blackout.

“What exactly has gotten you in this state, dear?” Regina didn’t like it; they’d finally found some common ground and had talked about ways to defeat these visions. Then their one-night stand had happened and they hadn’t managed to do anything at all.

Emma shrugged, head bowed, “nothing.”

Nothing that she wanted to talk about. That wasn’t what drinking buddies was for. She thought Regina would understand that. The bartender leaned back onto the bar and raised his brows at Emma, but she didn’t take the bait or even look up.

“If you want my advice, go to a booth, have a couple of drinks and talk it out. Seems like you could use a friend.” Regina tipped her glass towards him then turned to face Emma, waiting for her response. She lifted her shoulders then let them drop, the only other movement was the nail she scraped along the bar’s surface.

“I told you I wanted to get wasted. Join me or leave.” Talking meant thinking and Emma did not want to do any of that. She mused she’d spoken to the bartender, but she hadn’t reached into the pits of her soul and spilled her darkest secrets. He was an unbiased ear. Regina cared, but she was also great at pushing and could potentially give Emma a tough love speech.  

Regina sighed and gulped the wine, face scrunching at the slightly bitter taste. “She has a tab open,” he said, reached for Regina’s glass and got her another drink.

“Bankrupt me. See if I care.” After Emma pushed the glass towards him and received another drink herself, she slid off the stool and made her way to a booth.  

Regina followed, stood at the edge for a minute as she contemplated which side to take. She could slide into the seat opposite or she could slide in next to Emma where the urge to hold her would be too strong considering the state she appeared to be in. Not knowing which was best, she shuffled and nursed her drink.

“Just sit down, Regina. If you’re going to lecture me, might as well get it over and done with.” She slid into the booth opposite; it remained easier, as always, they keep their distance.

“Who said anything about a lecture? I don’t even know what’s going on. Shouldn’t you be wedding planning? It’s in two days, dear. Surely you should be spending time with the man who is so much better than me.”

Emma gulped the whiskey and refused to look up, “I suck.” For more reason than one. She’d left him, but to what extent? She remained miserable and had destroyed two happy endings.

Regina rolled her eyes, “come on, Emma, stop being so ridiculous. Pity doesn’t look good on you. Last time we were here Hook had left. If you’re telling me you got into some fight, then it won’t matter by this time tomorrow, because all will be forgiven when you apologise for it being your fault. Does that cover it?”

Emma flinched and Regina felt a pang, but Emma needed it. Regina wasn’t the type of person to bend the truth to spare someone’s feelings. Not when the burning in side demanded for her to lash out and hurt Emma for leaving that night.

“No.” Emma let her head fall into her arms. Regina was right, not that she wanted to admit it out loud. Gloating would no doubt follow and Emma was so far from in the mood for that. Especially over him and the mess she had created between them.

“Emma,” Regina softened her voice; she didn’t want to see her in pain, no matter what ugly thoughts remained inside. Emma never helped herself either and it was something they had in common. “Talk to me. I know…I know a lot has happened recently. It doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me.”

“I’ve lost everything,” she mumbled into the table and reached her hand out in search of Regina’s. When she found it, she wrapped her fingers around her palm, for Regina to snatch it away. “See? Everything.”

Emma couldn’t make sense of her own words, but Regina stared at her, heart pounding so loudly she thought the entire bar could hear. Was Emma saying she was…everything? Or was she only part of the equation? Regina very nearly reached back for Emma’s hand, but it was going to take a lot more than Emma drinking herself silly for Regina to forgive.

“I told you you’re being ridiculous.” The words came out tightly. Emma shrugged again. Then she remembered her initial plan and how Regina had already begun to interfere. She popped her head up and took another gulp. The next thing she knew Snow slid into the booth next to Emma, frowning at the pair.

“Henry told me you were here. Is everything alright?”

Emma groaned and let her head fall backwards, “why do you even care? You never have before.”

“Emma!” Snow swivelled so her body faced her daughter’s, “of course I care, what has got you into this state and why-” her eyes found Regina’s, “didn’t you stop her?”

“Me? I came after her did I not? I can’t exactly stop her from drinking and anyway, I’m sure she hasn’t had enough drinks to be this drunk. This is her wallowing. Which I’m already tired of, if I might add.” She did feel the urge to pull Emma into her arms until the pain washed away, but she wasn’t about to say that. It was easier holding onto her anger and letting it spill out. Perhaps it would help her move on.

“Will you both stop moaning. I’m a big girl I can take care of myself.”

“I highly doubt that,” Regina mumbled under her breath.

Snow placed a hand on Emma’s arm and squeezed. “Emma, sweetie, tell us what’s wrong. You can talk to us.”

“Can’t. Regina already hates me, you and Dad are gunna abandon me and if I’m lucky Henry will still love me.” She closed her eyes from where her head had remained flopped over the top of the chair, “and if you would all just leave me be, I have lots of drinking to do.”

Snow and Regina both took a breath and looked to each other. Emma was…so far from okay they didn’t know that to do. It was like the fake emotions she’d been masquerading herself in had been washed away and in its place, was someone they didn’t recognise. Emma was a fighter. She had to be with the way she had grown up, but that fight wasn’t there. Regina recognised a few signs she had seen once before when she had first been introduced to Maleficent. She had been a mess, reduced to nothing but the awful things she would think about herself, some drops of despair and well…drugs. At least Emma was only going on a bender for a night.

“Snow, be a dear and tell Emma what it is I do when I hate someone. Let me think, does that include following them to make sure they don’t do something stupid whilst drunk and wanting to help their self-sabotaging ass even though said person had been a complete and utter fool to me?” Regina’s hands slammed to the table. Emma jumped, but didn’t otherwise move.

“Regina. I’m sure none of us are in the mood for a history lesson right about now. And why are you in such an awful mood? I thought you had supposed to have gotten rid of the evil queen?” Snow recognised that murderous gaze anywhere. The moment it flashed through Regina’s eyes at her comment, was the moment it disappeared again. Snow looked between them, not remembering when the two of them had become so dishevelled.

“Won’t admit it,” Emma said, “but split didn’t work like that. And you hate me.” Regina closed her eyes and took ten deep breaths before doing anything else. Emma was…hurting or unravelling or something and yes, Regina wanted to push and push until they peeled enough fake layers off until all that was left was the real Emma. She also didn’t want to push too hard, so they found another shattered version underneath.

“No matter what, Emma, I could never hate you.” The words had Emma’s eyes opening and her head tumbled forwards. Their eyes locked and Emma’s were glistening. Regina swallowed and nodded, a tiny smile to accompany it.

“Now that’s all cleared up.” Snow looked between them, utterly baffled as to what had happened between them. As far as she was aware, they had reached a good place. “Why on earth would you think I would ever leave you?” The statement had hurt almost as much as Emma believing she didn’t care. Perhaps she had gone about it the wrong way in the past, but she had been learning.

Emma’s bottom lip trembled and her voice turned small, “you want me to marry him.”

Then tears came. Big drops which rolled down her cheeks. Chest quivering, she kept her eyes on the table. They weren’t for him. They were for herself. In two days time the final unravelling and altering of her would see to it she took his name and be eradicated from existence. She had been so close to losing herself entirely and no one had noticed how unhappy she had been.

Emma wept for the loss of herself.  

Regina sat up, placed both arms on the table and regarded Emma. She didn’t say anything, but understood in an instant. There was a time she would’ve done anything to please her own mother and after the childhood Emma had lived through, Regina could get why Emma would now be doing the same.

“He’s your true love, of course I want you to marry him.” It made the tears fall harder and Emma shoved on Snow until she stood and could escape the booth. Regina followed and grabbed her drink so she could finish it off before they reached this part. Emma shook and used the back of her arms to wipe away the never-ending tears.

“I left him.”

Emma’s arms fell to her sides. She banged them again and cried harder. She sniffled and sobbed, chest heaving and nose red. Both hands were clenched into fists and her shoulders bobbed up and down.

Regina walked passed where she stood. Her head turned to follow her. It caused her face to scrunch and the tears blurred her vision. A few people in the bar turned to look her way, but other than that, everyone let her be.

“Emma.” Snow placed both hands on her daughter’s shoulders then pulled her in for a hug. The side of her head fell to one shoulder and both arms squeezed around Snow as she whimpered.

“Here,” Regina said softly after reappearing by their sides. She placed a hand on Emma’s shuddering shoulder, “I was just getting you some tissue.” Emma took it and brought it to her nose, then wiped beneath her eyes. Bottom lip still trembled and her chest heaved as she stayed in her mother’s arms, eyes closed tightly. Regina moved the hand to rub up and down her back, but otherwise remained silent.

“Don’t l-leave m-me,” Emma choked out and pulled Snow impossibly closer. As if she were a small child frightened to be without their parents.

Snow and Regina glanced to each other. Neither of them were unaffected. It wasn’t like Emma. The capacity she had at storing emotions away was uncanny. That lid had finally burst and the result pained them both.

Snow held onto Emma tightly, “never,” she whispered and they began to rock in tiny movements from side to side. Regina swallowed and paced towards the bar, deciding it best she let them have that moment.

“My sweet girl,” Snow said as if her daughter wasn’t a grown woman, in need of comforting in ways she had never experienced before, “I’m here now and I’m never leaving you. I love you, Emma.”

With both arms around her mother, one hand clenched around the tissue, Emma let herself be held and rocked. Not caring in the slightest that she was having some sort of break down in the middle of the pub.

“I’m so lost,” she whimpered, now the sobs began to ease.

It was an understatement. Emma didn’t know up from down. She had become the saviour, so certain that bringing back the happy endings would lead to her own. All the while she broke more and more of herself off. Pushed down on any feelings she would have which would tell her different and had morphed to fit what was normal and accepted. Her thoughts were a mess. She’d even thought Regina could’ve been under the hood when all she had done for a long time was protect her. She’d been content in her decision to simply roll over and die, rather than risk any of this. Even if it meant leaving her son; losing her life.

That wasn’t a person she recognised.

Emma stayed within her mother’s arms. All she had wanted for a long time was the simplicity of being held.

Regina came back by their side and the supportive hand was back on her shoulder. The tears had dried up and her nose was sore from the amount of times she had brushed the tissue under it. She popped her head up, Snow’s arms loosening around her shoulders and looked at those soft brown eyes, the anger which had been there seemed to have vanished. Regina was still here and that counted the most.

“Regina,” she whispered, untangling herself from her mother’s arms. Snow looked between them and stepped back, the same time Regina moved closer. “I’m sorry.”

“Emma.” She shook her head with a small smile, opening both arms out to the side. “Come here.”

Emma crashed their bodies together, wrapping her arms tightly around Regina’s shoulders. She quivered whilst clinging onto her like the world would end if she were to let go. Regina snuggled closely, arms squeezed around her waist. From the small height different, Regina had the side of her head resting at the very top of Emma’s chest, hair tickling her neck. Their eyes closed simultaneously and Regina melted into her as Emma tugged her as close as she could.

Their hug was tight and personal. A first between them. When they pulled away, they looked into each other’s eyes, unspoken words and new tensions arising. Regina placed both hands on Emma’s waist, Emma’s arms loosely hanging from her neck.

“Hi,” Emma said, a slight sparkle in her eyes.

Regina chuckled right from her chest, “hi,” she repeated and wanted to kiss her there and then. She wouldn’t, it wasn’t the right time and there was still a bit of unsettled issues they would need to work through. Snow cleared her throat and they both swung their heads towards her.

Snow cupped Emma’s cheek as they began to pull apart, but didn’t say a word. Emma allowed herself the comfort then moved away, hands sliding into her jeans pockets. Her head bowed, cheeks flamed and she bit her lip, uncertain. With a quick scan of the room, a nod towards the bar tender who flashed a smile in her direction, she sat back down, content no one was paying any attention to her. Huddled in the corner, Regina was quick to sit back down in the booth opposite. Snow sat next to Emma.

Regina leant on her elbows and flashed a small smile at Emma, “do you feel better?”

“I feel stupid,” she muttered.

Regina rolled her eyes and Snow gripped onto Emma’s hand, “you’ve done nothing wrong darling.”

“You know, I feel kind of relieved.” Regina reached across the table, laid her hand down, palm facing up and waited with a suggestive look. On a deep breath, Emma lifted her free hand from where it had rested on her thigh and placed it in Regina’s. “Talk to us, what happened?”

Emma first looked to Regina then at Snow, who nodded for her to continue.

“I should’ve chopped that fucking beanstalk down.” Both of her hands tightened as sudden rage flamed. It started and ended with him. Okay, maybe it wasn’t entirely true, but she hadn’t become…this, had never felt like this until him.

“Emma, what do you-”

“In the enchanted forest,” Snow filled in, “where you and Hook climbed the beanstalk?”

The dazed state she’d been living in had washed away with each tear shed and although it hurt like a nothing she’d ever felt, it was refreshing.

Emma’s teeth gritted, “I should’ve left him. He left us in that cell the fucking son of a bitch.”

“Emma!”

“Snow, just…” Regina widened her eyes at Snow. If she needed to swear to let some of it out, then Regina would be happy to hear every curse word in existence.

Emma felt the anger curdle in her stomach. There had been so much she had put on ignore. So many times the warning bells sounded for her to pretend she hadn’t heard them. It had reached a point where she no longer trusted her instincts. Those same instincts had kept her safe and alive throughout her lifetime. Emma had relied on them, for them to be shattered all because she had bended herself so far out of shape for reasons she couldn’t comprehend anymore. “Saviour bullshit.”

“Thank fuck Emma Swan’s making an appearance. He’s a piece of shit and you deserved better.”

“Regina!”

Emma gave a little smirk and looked to her shyly, “yeah, I did.” Regina smiled a smile Emma hadn’t seen since the library when she had told her she would join operation mongoose. This smile was bigger, brighter and her hand was squeezed tighter.

“Finally, you’re listening to me for once. I swear I need written proof because this isn’t going to happen again.” Emma couldn’t help but chuckle, there was something stirring in her chest.

“Right, anyway, whilst the two of you do…whatever this is…I’m going to go to the ladies’ room and get us a round of drinks.”

“Emma has a tab open.”

“Even better.” Snow kissed Emma on the cheek which caused a blush, then let go of their conjoined hands and left. Regina did the same, but she scooted into the booth and sat next to Emma. She squeezed Emma’s thigh.

“Please talk to me, darling.”

“That’s twice.” Though she did appreciate the hand on her thigh. More than appreciated it. “You’ve never called me that before. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say it, but you’ve called me that twice.”

“Oh, if you don’t-”

“I like it. It’s just…unexpected.” She shrugged, not wanting to hit Regina’s insecurities when hers were piling up. “But erm, I told him what happened and we got into a fight and I ended things.” She left out the detail about the choosing. There was no need to confuse matters. Either way, she had meant what she said, by leaving she had chosen herself.

“Is this the part where I can finally say all of the horrible things I’ve wanted to say?” Regina bumped her shoulder and Emma rolled her eyes, but part of her longed to hear it. Regina had cracked to an extent, if some of their little arguments were anything to go by.

“I don’t know, he…” should she admit to all the things he had done? Emma didn’t feel quite ready to open up those wounds, but then again whilst her mother wasn’t here, “when he found out he was the dark one, he said some awful stuff. How I was a distraction and an anchor, he said he wanted to hurt me.” The look in his eyes still haunted her and perhaps it was one of the reasons she had always backed down. Too terrified to risk pushing him over an edge she might not come back from. “I excused it because of the darkness, but he was still the dark one when he didn’t know and he didn’t act like that then.”

“It’s a wonder I haven’t ripped his heart out.” The rest didn’t need to be added into the mix. The fact Emma had wanted to save him and everyone had agreed so easily was a big ball of mess which didn’t need to be brought up right now. “What happened for you to see all of this?”

“It’s like we talked about. Fighting and being with him didn’t mix. I only said yes to marrying him because if I was going to die anyway, what did it matter if I was miserable. And if…” she slammed her mouth shut. Regina leant forwards in anticipation of what she was about to say. After a moment of consideration, she threw all caution away. It wasn’t as if a lot hadn’t been dredged up already.

“And being miserable, was one of the reasons you didn’t want to fight the visions.” Regina’s voice was soft, neutral, no judgement attached to it. She squeezed Emma’s thigh again, whilst Emma twiddled her thumbs and looked down at them. A few quick nods followed and Regina’s heart broke and was mended in a single breath at Emma’s tiny voice floated out so only they could hear…

“I don’t want to die.”

Emma fell side wards. Her head fell to Regina’s shoulder and she closed her eyes, “I wanted to give him his happy ending, but I can’t do it at the expense of me.”

“You shouldn’t have to,” Snow said, placing three drinks on the table and sliding into the booth, “I didn’t know you were so unhappy. I’m so sorry, Emma. Your happiness means more to me than who you marry.”

“I wanted to be a good saviour. All I managed to do was ruin everyone’s happy endings. I even turned Lily down when she asked me to help her find her father. I spent forever knowing what that feels like.”

Regina wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, whilst Snow and Regina shared a look. They were full of guilt, but Emma had opened up in ways she hadn’t in a long time. They both swallowed down on it.

“You know, I could use your help, if you’re up for it. We’ve not found him yet, but we’ve made some progress and I’m about to do a spell I don’t know if I can perform on my own. I was planning on winging it and hoping for the best, but-”

“My magic is a crock of shit. I don’t even know if I can use it.” Her hands clenched back into fists and she became angry at everything she had lost…for him, “worthless asshole. You know on our first date he grabbed Will by the shirt and threatened him because he accidently spilled over a drink. I should’ve run in the opposite direction.”

Regina ignored most of it, thinking it best they start focusing on the positive to calm Emma down. “You could try, that’s all I’m asking.” It took a moment, then Emma nodded and Regina felt relief. What she didn’t know was that Emma had been calming down for every second she spent nestled into Regina’s side. It felt even better than she had hoped all that time ago on the porch.

The three women sat and drank, whilst they allowed Emma to have an outlet. There was a part of her which felt…shattered, but maybe that’s exactly what she’d needed. To let go of anything and everything to do with him and allow her family to help build her back up.


	12. Chapter 12

To say she was nervous was an understatement. Emma hadn’t seen or heard from Lily since the day she had asked for help and Maleficent; she wasn’t exactly Emma’s biggest fan. In all fairness, she had chosen forgiveness over revenge and had never truly placed the blame on Emma. It had never been Emma’s fault; her parents had been the cause of Lily being sent to this world. Filled to the brim with the darkness which should’ve been her own.

“You okay?” Regina asked, feet crunching on leaves as they walked towards the vault.

Emma nodded tightly, “yeah-” both hands wiped down her leggings, “it’s just…my magic isn’t that great right now and I don’t want to let them down.”

Regina crossed her arms, “you’ll be fine, Emma.”

Emma didn’t look her way, her eyes instead focused on the vault which was not too far out of reach. She tucked her trembling hands beneath her arms, not asking for further reassurance where she would get none.

They stopped at the entrance to the vault. Regina kept her arms crossed instead of the way she would usually squeeze Emma’s bicep in re-assurance, “you’ll be fine,” she repeated, caught Emma’s gaze then yanked it away.

Emma swallow and spun around. Squinting up at the morning sun, her head tipped back and she sighed. It was early out and the temperature was low, but warm enough the sun hit her face and warmed her cheeks. It felt nice, being out without first having to ask for permission. “Are we ever going to be good?”

All she received was a sigh and eyes which hadn’t left where she stood. She couldn’t decide if she liked to be watched or not, mainly because she couldn’t figure out if Regina was glaring at her with daggers or longing. Which one was worse became anyone’s guess.

“Good morning, ladies.” Maleficent gave them both brief smiles then made her way to Regina’s side, “are we going to get this ball rolling?”

“Will you ever learn the art of patience, dear?” Regina tipped her head at Maleficent’s raised brows.

Lily moved towards Emma and bumped her shoulder, “glad you could make it, Swan. Not so bad as a saviour after all.”

“I don’t know about that. I don’t know how much help I’ll be…but I’ll try.” Lily smirked, bounced on the balls of her feet, hands shoved into her jeans pockets. Like a kid waiting for Christmas. “I’m sorry it wasn’t sooner.”

“I’m not going to say no to some extra help. Especially from the magnificent saviour.” Maleficent looked directly at Emma. A hand went to her lower back. Emma wanted to lean into the unexpected touch, but remained stiff and nodded in response. Maleficent chuckled and rolled her eyes, after they had flickered to the protective hand.

“Let’s go inside.” Regina lifted one eye brow at Maleficent before she walked into the vault, all of them descending the stairs, their feet hitting the stone echoing throughout the vault in quick succession.

Lily spun around quickly, eyes scanning the place, “I’m never not impressed by this place, if not slightly freaked out.”

Emma smirked, “you’ll get used to it,” and made her way to Regina’s side from where she had stood at one side of a table.

“Emma took some time getting used to all of this,” Regina said, already fiddling with various objects she had sprawled out, then looked at Lily, “you will too. You are a dragon.”

“That she is.” Maleficent came to stand by Lily’s side, the pair facing each other over the table, “so, tell me, how does this work?”

“Right.” Regina lifted up a vial containing blue bubbling liquid, “so I found this potion when searching through the books and the idea is to search out a missing piece, a link, something that connects whatever is added to the mix.”

“So like when we use objects and they start glowing or whatever.” Emma frowned, because as far as she was aware, Lily’s father wasn’t even in Storybrooke, “I thought you guys don’t even know who he is.”

Maleficent huffed, “it happened in dragon form, so no, I do not know who Lilith’s father is, but I intend to find out one way or another.”

“Right.” Emma crossed her arms and looked over to Lily, her eyes still scanning around all of it, finger tips brushing over the different material. Regina snatched a weird looking eye out of her hand.

“Don’t touch anything.” Regina stared at Lily at the same time Emma began to chuckle. That was a fond memory, no matter how frightening. Emma looked back at the time when magic was all so knew to her, wishing she could have that naivety back in bucket loads.

“Yeah,” she said, “careful or Regina might try to collapse a bridge whilst you’re on it.” Maleficent and Lily twisted their heads towards each other whilst Regina had to bite down on her smirk.

She turned to face Emma, a palm resting on the table, “did I or did I not say how much potential you had for magic? Was I right?” The tone of voice was mocking. Emma rolled her eyes, though she did have a point. “And anyway, do you really think I would’ve let you die? I mean, faking accidents is one thing, but an entire collapsed bridge would’ve been traced back to me immediately.”

“Wow, I feel so much better.” Emma did smirk, their eyes connecting and she felt a bubble in her stomach she hadn’t in a long time.

“I would watch out for that one-” Maleficent pointed a finger across the table, “she’s smart, inventive and add that to her wicked streak, then she can come up with a number of concoctions.”

“I think you’re thinking of my sister, but, the point…” Regina sighed loudly, holding up the vial and gave Lily a look when her hand went to reach out.

“Sorry,” she muttered, pulling her sleeves over her hands.

“If you would’ve let me finish. No, it’s not like when we use a potion to track people, but I can see where you’re coming from. No, it detects something missing, so I thought perhaps we could mix a drop of both of your blood,” she said, glancing between the two of them, “and hopefully the missing piece-”

“Will be my father.” Lily’s eyes were wide as she stared at the little vial, “but how would that tell us where he is.”

“It won’t.” Mal seemed a little annoyed, as if Regina’s attempts weren’t up to her standard, “but…I’ll admit, it’s a good start.”

“I’ve still not finished.” A hand went straight to her hip and she took a deep sigh as if to gain strength, “this is where me and Emma come in. Now-” she began to fiddle with a piece of paper, uncurling it to reveal a type of map, “this is a map of all the realms, well, most of them anyway. I thought, if we drop the potion with your combined blood onto the map, I know a spell which could get the potion to specifically locate all of the pieces. Two should end up here-” she pointed to the ‘land with no magic’ realm, Emma thinking how ironic that sounded, “then the last part should tell us which realm Lily’s father is in.”

“Why do you need me?” Emma asked, shrinking in on herself. She bit her lip, arms crossed and bowed her head, “my magic is crap, I’m sure you don’t-”

“Emma. I can’t do this spell alone.” She waited until green eyes had connected with hers before she smiled softly, “now, you don’t have to know the specific spell, but you will need to add your magic to the mix. Think back to the mines, you had no idea what I was doing to that trigger, but you went off instinct and added your magic to mine. That’s what I need you to do now.”

“My instincts were a lot better back then,” she muttered, having intended for no one to hear it, but three pairs of eyes all turned her way and her cheeks flamed.

“I can vouch for that,” Lily said, “though, at least you’re wearing something that actually looks good. The curtain look just wasn’t for you.”

Regina placed a hand on Emma’s back again. Emma turned to face the woman, eyes holding more emotion than they had in a long time. “You’re okay,” Regina tried to reassure, “just a little off balance.”

“As touching as this is-” Maleficent rolled her eyes, “even if this does work, realms are huge. He could be anywhere.”

“It’s the best I’ve got.” Regina twisted her hand and placed it on the table, “take it or leave it, dear.”

“I suppose it is better than anything I have managed to come up with.”

“Right. Then let’s get on with it.”

Lily and Maleficent both nodded, glanced to each other before turning their attention back on Regina, quiet apprehension in the air. Emma was happy to sit back and watch for the first part, moving so she was leant against the back of the wall, slightly away from the group.

Maleficent and Lily both placed their palms on the table, now Regina had poured the blue liquid into a small container. With a blade in her hand, she first cut a gash down Maleficent's palm, grabbed her wrist and tipped it over the container. After the blood had dripped down, she swept her hand over the cut, healing the injury.

“Light magic?” Maleficent raised a brow, obviously having spent a lot of time what one would call, dead, during some monumental moments.

“Magic is what we choose to do with it. When I realised that, I learnt to control it using light magic, which is a lot more powerful than you or I once thought.” Maleficent nodded, impressed then placed a gentle hand on Lily’s shoulder.

“That looked painful,” she said, took a deep breath then placed her hand down, palm up, “okay. Let’s get this show on the road.”

“Make sure you hold still,” Regina grabbed onto Lily’s wrist with her free hand just to be certain, creating another wound as Lily hissed in pain, not used to the intrusion then tipped it over the container. She swiped her hand and then the cut was gone.

The mixture started to bubble and fizz, pop and create sparks. Emma pushed from the wall to get a closer look, all of them leaning over as if to inspect it.

“I think we need to give it a moment,” Regina said and no sooner had she, did the potion die down and turn a deep shade of purple. “Okay, moment of truth. Emma-” she looked over her shoulder and Emma nodded, coming even closer, “remember what to do?”

“Use my magic and combine it with yours, like when we stopped the trigger.”

“You ready?” Emma nodded at the question. Maleficent and Lily both stood still, eyes intently on them.

Regina picked up the potion, smoothing out the map and poured it slowly onto it. Once it was completely onto the map, she placed the container down and hovered both hands over the map, Emma doing the same. Closing her eyes, purple magic streamed downwards.

Emma shuffled, closed her eyes and squeezed them tight, hands positioned like Regina’s, as if she were trying to warm them over a camp fire. A few spark came out, but the feeling she used to have had almost vanished and she couldn’t call to her magic, let alone do what Regina had asked.

“Can’t do it,” Emma whispered, like a child being defeated and flopped both arms to her sides.

After a quick glance towards the pair opposite, getting across for them to remain silent she turned to Emma. “Yes, you can do this, Emma. Come here-” Regina gripped onto Emma’s hands, intertwining their fingers and squeezed.

“I want you to squeeze my hand and push your magic out. Even if you can’t feel your magic, imagine you’re transferring it through our palms and making it travel up my arm. I know you can’t feel for your magic right now, but it’s there.”

Hesitantly, Emma nodded, mainly because it meant she could keep her hand clasped with Regina’s. “Okay,” she said, voice still small, “let’s try again.”

Regina nodded with a small smile, spare hand going over the map. Closing her eyes once more, she took a deep breath and Emma did as she was told. Hand clasping onto Regina’s, she envisioned her magic travelling down her arm, to her hand, over to Regina’s hand and then up her arm. Emma squeezed her eyes tightly as she did. They both began to quiver with the intensity of the combination.

Regina’s magic came out in streams, a light glow surrounding where their hands were connected. She opened her eyes to see the liquid splitting into three and moving a long the map. A bead of sweat ran down her forehead, their palms growing warm.

“Almost…there…” she panted, Emma opening her eyes to witness two blobs going where Regina had predicted.

When the third blob began to move, brown eyes flickered up to meet Maleficent's and they shared a smile. It seemed as if it wasn’t sure at first or it was trying to fight the magic. Either way, after another thirty seconds where the air stilled, did the blob move over to a realm, sitting itself nicely in the middle.

The room stilled. Emma kept her hand clasped in Regina’s as their arms fell like dead weights. Mal looked between the map, Lily and finally at Regina. Regina’s hand began to squeeze Emma’s.

“Zelena,” she hissed, anger bubbling between the surface. Emma squinted at the map, it wasn’t too difficult to understand, but she hadn’t the faintest clue what she was talking about and how it linked to her sister.

“What does that mean?” Lily turned to face Maleficent, who remained in a state of disbelief. She stared at her daughter, mind slowly catching up and when it did, she wrapped both arms around her daughters shoulders. Lily jerked at the unexpected tug.

“I know you’re too old and we spent too much time apart, but can you let me be your mom and hold you?” Mal swept hair from Lily’s shoulder, keeping her voice low as her lips were only inches from Lily’s ear. It took a moment, one which felt utterly private. Emma and Regina shared a look, but they remained in place, silent.

Lily relaxed, arms circling around her mother’s waist. Perhaps she was too old and they had spent too much time apart, but it didn’t mean she didn’t want a hug off her mother.

“Okay,” she whispered then preceded to squeeze her arms tighter, close her eyes and snuggle in closely as if she were a child seeking comfort. It didn’t matter to her that she was an adult. Not in that moment. Her mother had wanted her, had always wanted her. It was a small moment she could give her back.

“My dear child.” Maleficent pulled her closer, keeping her wrapped safely in her warm embrace. Lily felt warm, like her own skin and their combined heat would most likely burn a mere human. Not them, they were dragons and Mal would spend every moment teaching her until she knew everything there was to know.

Maleficent pulled back and there was a gleam to Lily’s eyes everyone knew to ignore. She stroked fingers through Lily’s hair, guiding it behind an ear. “He’s in Oz. Your father is in Oz.”

“Like, the wizard of Oz? That doesn’t sound insane to you?” Lily looked around the room, the rest of their expressions neutral. Maleficent continued to keep both big glistening blue eyes on her daughter, unable to look away. She tipped her head, grabbed Lily’s hand and pressed it to her own cheek.

“We know where he is and I’m going to do everything to get your father back to you.” Lily nodded and visibly swallowed and although she wanted to pull away, she let her mother have this. Until Regina’s seething anger pulled them back into the vault.

“After we find out where he is, I’m going to kill her.” The hand holding Emma’s squeezed as Regina slammed another fist on the table, “kill her, then bring her back to life to kill her again.”

“We don’t even know if Zelena knows he is there.” Emma twisted and placed her hand on Regina’s, so it was sandwiched between her palms. “Hey, look at me, calm down.” Regina turned and took deep breaths. Perhaps the reaction was a little…over the top, but her emotions remained uncontrollable.

“I thought the queen would’ve received the irrational side, dear.” Maleficent wondered where the reaction had come from. In the past they had been something; friends, lovers, a comfort and although she still cared for her friend, that was…unexpected. “Although, I would be inclined to say the split didn’t exactly go right down the middle, but I fear losing my head.”

Emma’s eyes paired with the warmth from her hands had the anger falling away like sand streaming through open fingers. She trembled, half listening to Maleficent’s words, the other not wanting to hear at all. It didn’t change from the fact she was right. Parts of her she expected to be gone had flared, whilst those she had been wanting to hold onto had withered away. “The split was not as clear cut I originally thought.”

“I-” Emma was silenced by the lift of her palm. They would not discuss this now. After another moment where Regina regained her composure, she turned to face her friend and nodded once.

“We will find him. I may have to skin my sister alive, but we will find him.” Okay, where had that come from? Regina used her free hand to run down her face, “perhaps using that much magic flared some old instincts back to life. No skinning, but let me handle my sister.”

“I can’t believe I haven’t run into the evil queen. I bet she’s more fun that all of you.” The three pairs of eyes which swung Lily’s way had her lifting her palms in defence, “I was joking. Chill.”

“I wish to accompany you.” Maleficent leaned against the table, eyes flicking to their conjoined hands before glaring at Regina, “if any skinning is to be done, I will do it.”

Regina closed both eyes and shook her head whilst she took a deep breath. “Fine,” she said through gritted teeth, knowing she would not stay behind without a fight, “let me figure out a way to approach her,” she opened both eyes and stared right at Maleficent in a way which commanded attention. Perhaps the queen was gone, but there had been parts which had been Regina. She had been too reluctant to admit to it, until now, “if we go in there on offence, she will have no choice but to fight back. I know my sister, give me a few days and we will talk to her.”

Maleficent stared back, weighing her options. On a sigh she stood up straight, “agreed, but if she isn’t cooperative, then I will get offensive.”

“Let’s take this one step at a time.” As if just remembering, Regina pulled her hand free from Emma’s and began to tidy away the objects. Emma crossed her arms and stood shuffling, knowing better than to touch anything even when trying to be helpful.

“Better not,” she said, as Lily went to do the thing she was avoiding. Maleficent began to help, because she could be trusted, whilst Lily, once again, lifted her palms into the air.

“I’m just going to sit over hear. You know, children should be seen and not heard.” Lily moved over to the bench and sat, which prompted Emma to follow.

“That is the smartest thing I’ve ever heard come from your mouth, child.” Maleficent gave Lily a warm look, already missing the momentary connection they had shared. Perhaps it had been taking longer than she would’ve hoped. But she was here. Maleficent had her daughter and she remained in arms reach. “And whilst I am thinking about this, remember that time you found out I was sleeping with one of your guards?”

“I…did not need to know that-” Emma crinkled up her nose whilst Lily remained silent. She placed a palm over her face as if to shield herself from the impending conversation. The now empty container smashed in Regina’s palm.

“Whoa, Regina, what’s with you today?” Emma was the one who should be out of sorts. She stood and walked over to Regina, calling magic and swiping it across her palm until the cuts had healed. Neither of them realised what she had done until it was over. “I don’t know how I just did that.”

Maleficent and Lily shared a look, rolling their eyes as if they knew a secret they didn’t. “As I was saying, Regina, do you?”

“Thank you.” Regina looked to Emma, not knowing how the magic had happened and not allowing herself to think on it for another second. The anger inside of her was flaring with concerning intensity since performing the spell. She most likely needed some down time, not more talk about the missing part of herself. “Do you have a point, Mal? I’m growing tired.”

“Moody, just like the queen.” Maleficent snapped her mouth shut, because even though Regina had been on some sort of redemption path and appeared to have recalled some of the aspects she once attributed to her as a young girl, you never wanted to be on the receiving end of calling her _moody._

A hand went straight to her hip, “you better have a point, dear.” Or she would be getting skinned alive too. Regina took a breath to gather those angry thoughts and place them away, rather than act on them.

“I thought you had taken my magic from me. It felt that way, at least. It started off slow, shaking, dizziness, then eventually I couldn’t call to it when needed. Quite inconvenient. Then one day, it simply returned.” Maleficent continued to tidy as if she hadn’t said anything at all, letting Regina mull it over. Emma had returned to Lily, not intending to be thrown into their past. Now she had begun to realise what they had been to each other, perhaps a pinch of jealousy existed. One she didn’t want to dwell on.

Regina and Maleficent tidied in silence. Emma and Lily looked at each other and shrugged, content to sit there and let what was to happen…happen. Everything was almost put away before either of them spoke again.

“Your magic was always inside of you, even in my darkest days I would never do such a thing.” Regina remembered it vividly. Sleep with one of her guards, she had been furious, had thrown him to the dungeons to receive a rather slow and painful death and had put her ex-friend slash lover through something slow and painful. It had all been an illusion, of course, but Maleficent wouldn't have know that. “The potion blocked it, bit by bit, until you struggled to access it. Eventually I got bored, stopped making the potion and moved back to more prevalent matters.”

Bored? Maleficent huffed, but otherwise, didn’t say a word. She didn’t have to.

“Do you think?” Regina’s eyes lit up, wondering how she had missed it. Now it was like a glaring neon sign.

“The effects were the same. When I needed it, I had access, but most of the time, it was difficult and using any kind of power would leave me drained.” It had been awful, mainly because she believed her magic had been taken from within. When it was returned she had shifted and burned down an entire forest, consequences be damned.

“I no longer remember the potion.” The gleefulness Regina had been emitting, faded away. She began to tap on her chin as if the physicality of the action helped her think. “At least we have a starting point.”

“I would offer to help, but potions were always your domain and I very much doubt the queen would listen to me.” She was more likely to burn Maleficent alive. In the queen’s eyes she had left, no matter what was the cause or who was to blame.

“I hate it when they do that.” Lily sighed, unable to keep up with the conversation even if she wanted to. Emma, on the other hand, had been listening intently. Both hands trembled and she looked to Regina for answers.

“But the queen said it wasn’t her.” Emma’s ‘superpower’ hadn’t flared and although it wasn’t at its best, nothing could happen which would result in her being unable to detect a lie when it came from Regina. Any part of her. “She wasn’t lying.”

“Perhaps not lying.” Regina put the rest of the items away and moved over to the bench, “but I’ve always had a way around words, even in my youth I would drive Rumple to insanity with the way I could find loopholes in his deals.” Lying or spinning stories so they technically weren’t lies was a talent Regina had always possessed. It could be attributed to growing up with the mother she had, using words as her weapon to get out of trouble.

“Okay, you know what they’re on about?” Lily was lost and after she’d spent countless days with them in the search for her father, she’d given up trying to understand half of their conversations. They had a long past and had known each other enough time for their conversations to be filled with half sentences.

Emma’s wide eyes looked up at Regina as if to confirm, “my magic, they think whatever potion was used in the past on Maleficent is now being used on me.” Regina nodded and for some reason it _hurt._

They could delude themselves into believing otherwise, but the queen was still Regina.

“At least now we have an idea what’s happening. We can put a stop to it.” Emma nodded, but Regina noticed the hesitancy. It wasn’t something she wanted to comment on. “We can meet tomorrow in my vault, talk about it and try to find answers.”

“Yeah, alright.” Emma did feel a tiny bit better; no matter who or what was behind it, at least they had some answers. The not knowing was starting to grate on her nerves.

***

The time in the vault had been exhausting. Using magic had tired Emma’s body and the social interaction had tired her mind. It had been a long time since she hadn’t stood around being docile, helpless, an arm clinging around him. She took a deep breath as she exited the vault, the fresh air welcome and filling up her lungs.

“I’m giving you a matter of days. I am not one for patience, Regina, find a way to approach your sister or I will go to her myself.” Maleficent meant it. Their past and Regina’s willingness to help granted her a grace period where she trusted her to figure out how best to make the next move.

Regina turned to face her, back to her vault and chuckled, “I’m aware. A few days, I’ll get Emma to contact Lily.”

“I still don’t know why you don’t have a phone.” Lily raised a brow at her mother. It seemed ridiculous she should go around without one. It didn’t much occur to her that the need to exist with technology did not extend to Maleficent. Too old and accustomed to her ways, she didn’t much plan to change. No matter the convenience.

Maleficent sighed, “we have ways of communicating without such things. A few days and you better be in touch, dear saviour.”

“I will-” Emma nodded, hands shoved into her pockets and glanced to Regina for confirmation. She smiled softly in return.

“Guess I’ll see you soon, Swan,” Lily said, swaying her shoulders and not looking Emma in the eye, “nice having you around.”

“Yeah.” It was nice being around. More than nice to be included. “I’ll give you a call when Regina gives me the get go.”

There were some goodbyes before Maleficent and Lily walked in the other direction. Regina turned around and waved her hands to seal the vault before she nodded to Emma and they began to walk. Emma didn’t know what to say; talking about the queen’s potion was at the very far bottom of the list and Regina seemed more herself around her, but the air remained tense. Their feet crunched on the leaves and branches in the field, the only noise other than that of their breathing.

That was until a staggering pirate holding a flask filled with rum stumbled into their view. He glowered at the pair. Emma’s wide eyes found Regina’s first, “stay here,” she said, not wanting to have to deal with the two of them together. Regina sighed, but nodded and held back where Emma moved closer to him.

“Swan-” a bent finger went to his upper lip and he chuckled, “came t’apoligse, but I see,” he swayed and blinked to get his vision to stop blurring, “her.” He spat the word out in disgust as if she were somehow beneath him. His glare sent a shiver down Emma’s spine. She was so close to pulling the flask from his hands and hurtling him into a shower when she shook the thought away.

Using the hardest tone she could manage, Emma looked him dead in the eye and refused to shrink under his gaze, “we’re done Hook. Whatever is or isn’t happening between me and Regina isn’t your concern.”

Emma’s insides threatened to turn to mush, but she replayed his words over and over. He had asked her to choose between her best friend and him. He had been forcing the issue between him and her son. What would be next? The rest of her friends, her brother, her parents? Even if she stayed strong for a moment, pretended to be that person who had first met him and was not fooled by his lies.

“C’mon, Swan. I’m be the one to make you happy. You nothing without…me.” He hiccupped and swayed on the spot. The action saw to it he drank more of his rum. Head tipped back he poured the last of the liquid then threw it behind him, it landed in the grass.

Emma clenched her hands and reminded herself it was lies. Twisting her head, she saw Regina was stood with crossed arms and head not directed their way, as if she couldn’t stand the sight of them. “No,” her voice wobbled and she turned back to face him, “I’m better off without you.”

“Sure ‘bout that?” He attempted the smirk which he’d used many a times as a pirate about to catch his prey. He was on Emma in an instant, hands on her waist and he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. The smell of alcohol strong on his breath.

Emma startled, squeezed her eyes and accepted the kiss, momentarily forgetting she didn’t have to. The next moment, when his hands moved behind her and his lips pressed firmer, his body far closer than she would’ve liked, her knee came up. It hit him between the legs and as he stumbled backwards, her fist came up and she bashed him around the jaw. The shock of it had him fall backwards. Emma stared at her own hand in disbelief. That version of her was a distant memory, but somehow, it had resurfaced.

He was on the ground, sprawled and looking to her with betrayal in his eyes. The pain in his groin and jaw sobered him up. His spit hit the ground, “you’re the saviour and you’re my happy ending.”

“I have a choice. The wedding’s off. Go find your precious ship and sail off. Come near me again and I’ll give you a bruise around your eye to match your jaw.” Emma spun, heart rate speeding up and breathing laboured. She needed to crash and burn, find some time to be alone and mourn parts of herself. It had all been an act, far too unaccustomed to behaving like herself it had to have been.

Hook scrambled to his feet and didn’t bother to look in their direction. He turned away and made an escape before Emma made good on her word. He didn’t doubt it either. It was as if he had just awoken her instincts, the ones he had managed to shut down.

“Are you…alright?” Regina wanted to congratulate her, but Emma shook in tiny trembles and now he had gone her eyes gleamed. All she did was shake her head and swallowed. “Want to come back to the mansion?”

“No. I’m gunna head h…to my house. Get a shower and whatever. I’ll meet you tomorrow, give me a text what time.” Regina frowned and Emma could tell she was more than concerned. It caused her to sigh and attempt to shake off the quivering, “I’m fine…just need some alone time.”

“Okay, well-” she squeezed Emma’s bicep, “if you need anything give me a call. If he shows back up, knock him back out. That was the best entertainment I’ve had in a while.”

Emma smiled shyly, “felt good.”

“Good. He deserved it. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? We’ll start finding this potion.”

“Yeah, see you then, Regina.” Emma lifted her eyes, wanting nothing more than to receive a tight hug, but dropped them without pushing her luck. Regina quickly rubbed her arm before letting it drop.

With one more glance, the two of them turned and walked in opposite directions. Emma’s arms were around her waist the moment Regina was out of sight.


	13. Chapter 13

“What are we actually looking for?” Emma paced around the vault, searching the bookshelves with her eyes. Magic had a lot of Regina’s objects shrunk in size which became accessible when Regina needed them. Emma hadn’t even known such a spell existed and was surprised by the amount of books Regina owned. Not that she had the faintest clue where to start.

“You’re guess is as good as mine.” Regina stood near the tallest bookshelf. They appeared glued to the walls of the vault, but considering Emma had never seen them before, she guessed that was magic too. Though it left them enough room to walk around the vault freely.

Emma twisted to her right and gave Regina a look, “you’re supposed to be the magic expert, I don’t know a thing about potions.” She’d already taken a few books off the shelves, flipped through the pages to find half a dozen different languages not known to this land. “They’re not even in English.”

“Oh, right.” Regina had forgotten about that part. She paced backwards and held both palms out to the sides and closed her eyes. After thirty seconds of mutterings, a light purple stream of magic emitted from Regina’s palms, flew into the air and towards the book cases. It surrounded each book in turn, until the entire room glowed. A small smirk saw to it Regina clasped both palms and the magic faded. “Done.”

“What was that?” Emma spun and went to the case Regina had returned to, only to notice the words had suddenly shifted to those she could understand. _‘Spells, enchantments, curses, creatures, shifting, potions…’_ she pulled on that book and opened it to a random page. “You…”

“Now you’ll be able to read it. I am a little disappointed you haven’t even attempted to learn elvish or anything regarding magic.” It was more the fact Emma had all this potential and had never tried to harness it. Regina supposed becoming the dark one gave her a little bit of a jump start, but there were things she would have to learn because she wanted to.

“It’s not like I’ve had time, what with everything which happens to this town.” Regina tipped her head, because she did have a point.

“Maybe we could start our lessons back up. I know back then it was more about you learning to control it.” Regina’s index fingers brushed down the spine of a book she was a little more than curious about, but she moved abruptly onto another. Emma noticed the hesitation and decided she would look once Regina had moved on. She picked up a book and twisted her head over one shoulder to look at Emma, “we could start soon, if you wanted to try and get your control back?”

Emma put the book back after she’d skimmed through it and found it was nothing more than love potions she didn’t want to think about. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“If Maleficent’s right-” her nose fell into the book and she skimmed it whilst talking, “then your magic is still there. It’s being blocked by a potion. I just need to remember which one so we can work on some kind of antidote.” Regina slammed the book shut and shoved it back onto the shelf with a huff.

“If it’s being blocked how can I access and use it?” Regina went to another book shelf behind Emma, so she shuffled and quickly grabbed onto the velvet red coloured book Regina had been eyeing then went to sit down on the bench.

“I’m not sure, but whoever is under that hood. You’re going to need your magic to fight them.” Regina looked through three books by the time Emma had made it to the third page of this one. It was…interesting, to say the least. Part of it remained a mystery to Emma, but the accompanying pictures helped a little. It involved shape shifters, cloned animals and on the next page was a picture of two halves of a person each with a heart of their own.

Emma lifted her head in case Regina had turned, but she remained oblivious as she continued to search. “I don’t know if it’ll do much good.” Emma was uncertain, it hadn’t been that long since she had left Hook and although she felt...free, there were many issues still to be dealt with.

“It can’t hurt to try.” Regina spun, but didn’t give any attention to the book Emma was currently nose deep in. “We can work on magic fighting techniques, offence and defence, because I imagine you’re going to need both. You said you could hold up a barrier when the queen attacked you?”

“I could hold a small one, yeah. But I wouldn’t say attack.” It didn’t feel as if she were trying to hurt Emma, but… “do you think she was testing me? To see if the potion was working.”

“That’s exactly what I imagine she was doing. The thing I don’t understand is why.” With a book in one hand, Regina came to sit next to Emma in the hopes that one would have the answers. “We share similar abilities, there’s no way she could be the cause of the visions, but I don’t know why she would block your magic.” Or want to. Her own and the queen’s feelings had been mixed, so the queen would feel something of what she had felt towards Emma.

“She must have something to gain from it. If I’m weak then-”

“You can’t fight the hooded figure.”

“Yeah.”

Regina twisted in place, book spread open on her lap to look at Emma, “do you really believe she knows who is under the hood?”

“I don’t know for sure, but it seemed like she knew something. If she’s blocking my magic so I can’t fight then perhaps she’s working with them.” It made sense, but without knowing the who, they had no chance of figuring out the why. Regina swallowed and looked to Emma as if it pained her to do so. The queen was still a part of her and there was a spec of guilt as Emma tried to smile back.

“It’s possible they’re already in town. We’ve been out of it that much they could’ve easily slipped in without anyone noticing.” Emma nodded then turned the page to keep reading. Regina did the same.

“You know I don’t blame you for the queen.” Emma had stumbled across something and if she were going to share she had to do it right. Regina might not be ready to hear it, but it being a valid solution was reason enough not to keep it to herself. There remained parts of Regina which felt…shaky and Emma didn’t want her to think she had wanted the queen to simply disappear, which would leave Regina to suffer.

“It is kind of my fault. I know our thoughts and actions are separate and maybe-” she sighed, unable to form the thoughts into words, partly because she didn’t want to, “I don’t know whether she has taken our combined thoughts and they’ve been twisted or if they’re her own or if they’re mine and she sees them differently.”

“I don’t think it matters. She’s your worst self, in a way, but erm…could I ask you something personal?” Emma twisted her head to look directly into Regina’s eyes. There was a hint of panic before she softened. Over the years they’d shared more with each other than they ever had with anyone else. After years of locking it away, using each other as a sound board was painful, but…good.

Regina nodded tightly, “yes, but I might not answer.”

Emma turned her entire body and bumped Regina’s knees with her own. With both hands gripped onto the edge of the book she refrained from reaching out and taking one of Regina’s hands in her own. “I know you said you felt free, after the initial split and maybe I’m wrong, but…is there a chance the queen got a lot of your pain? It could be a reason she’s so focused on revenge and hurting everyone.”

They didn’t move and for a moment Regina lost the ability to speak at the depths of understanding Emma had of her. In the past, she had been blinded by rage, intent of focusing that pain on Snow White, instead of those who were truly to blame. It was that or she had to accept her mother cared more about power than she did her daughter’s livelihood. She had to blame the king who crawled on her each night, when there was no escaping him. To place those emotions on a defenceless child had been the easier path, to the point of consumption.

“It’s possible.” Regina looked down to her lap, the book which remained open, read and useless to what she wanted. Anger flared, because although what Emma had said might have some truth, there was also the pain she had been holding. Those things she had thought to have buried with defences the queen had taken. In one swift motion, the book was in Regina’s hand, her arm had been pulled back and she tossed it across the room with a grunt.

“Regina, hey, look at me.” Deep breaths accompanied her gleaming eyes as she turned and looked to the only person who ever did understand. She swallowed, hard. Emma took a breath as she did, it was now or never. “I think there’s a potion in here which could merge the two of you back together.”

Regina stood. One hand went to her hip, the other to her forehead. She paced, eyes closed then spun and opened them again. “No, Emma. I’m not taking her back, I can’t take all of that back.”

“I’m not even completely sure what it does, but if I’m right, you’ll both have to take it willingly, anyway.” The hand on Regina’s forehead fell at that. She wanted to be relieved. The queen wouldn’t take it after what she had done, but she didn’t feel it. A mixture of emotions brewed inside, but she couldn’t tell what she felt. Emma stood and walked over.

“She would never take it.” Her head shook repeatedly from side to side, “and I’m not…I can’t have all of that back, the anger, the darker impulses, all of it. I got rid of her for a reason.” Emma wanted to pull her into her arms, but sighed and remained at a distance. Then wondered why she needed to. Things remained complicated, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t comfort her friend.

“Would you like a hug?” She thought it best to offer and opened her arms. Regina shook her head then caved and stepped into them, arms going straight around Emma’s shoulders. Spread hands went to Regina’s lower back which then curled around material and tugged her closer. Regina found the perfect spot to bury her face into Emma’s neck. Her lips grazed the warm skin and she had the urge to kiss it, but remained still and closed her eyes as she was held.

“Just think about it,” Emma whispered, arms tightening their grip, “I don’t want you to suffer, but I don’t think being split is good for either of you.” Regina simply nodded, their original intention completely forgotten about as she relaxed into Emma’s arms.

***

Emma flopped onto the couch at her parent’s loft with a smirk. There was a time her parents would huff and remind her not to dive around like an infant, but the last time she had done that was lost on her.

“It’s off for good then?” David asked, perched on the edge of the couch. He had heard stories about the bar from Snow, but was more on the fence than his wife. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Emma bit her lip and looked away from her father. There remained something which told her she had made the wrong decision; she’d reverted to bad habits and had run before things had gotten too serious. The last thing she needed was her father to voice those same doubts and mess her thoughts within her mind even more. “It’s over, dad,” she mumbled and didn’t look his way.

He sighed and moved back over to the kitchen to where Snow made coffee. She handed one over to David and gave him a look, one which had meant for him to drop it, but as Emma saw she sunk back into the couch and waited for them to tell her she’d made the wrong decision. There wasn’t much worse than disappointing parent’s she’d spent her lifetime wishing after.

Snow sat beside her daughter and gave her the coffee, took a sip of her own then placed it on the coffee table. “How have you been?” Something told her that Emma wasn’t as put together as she appeared to be. She had thought there hadn't been parts missing when she had been with Hook, all the while parts of her daughter had been crumbling away.

“Alright. I’ve been working with Regina to try and stop my visions and get my magic back to its normal state and stuff.” She shrugged, because this part they had never really discussed. It had been another thing they’d been proud of her for; accepting the saviour roll even if it killed her.

“Since when?” David had peeked in on their sleeping son then joined them. “I thought this fight was part of your destiny.”

“I’m not going to let myself die!” Emma’s back straightened and her eyes were wide. That had come out louder and more forceful than intended. She slouched back down and resumed her previous state of being quiet.

Snow twisted to her with a frown, “of course we don’t want you to die, we just thought after what Aladdin told you, that you’d chosen against using the seers. I don’t understand how you can fight it.”

The seers? Emma mulled them over for a moment and wondered how Aladdin had fed her something which was turning out to be anything but true. Destiny wasn’t set in stone, it had ways of altering path. Seers wouldn’t be able of change anything, but perhaps they could’ve done something to her magic. She added it to the list of things she needed to talk to Regina about.

“Emma, you don’t need to get worked up. Are you sure leaving Hook was the best idea? I’ve not seen you that angry in a long time.” She twisted her head to glare up at where he had perched himself on the chair arm. That comment annoyed her in ways words couldn’t express.

She moved her head back, clenched her fist, bottom lip trembling, “maybe because he said he wanted to hurt me and I was scared he would.” Now the words were out she couldn’t take them back. Emma had fooled herself into believing the time he’d spent as the dark one hadn’t left any emotional scars.

Snow and David looked to each other, not understanding where that had come from. They’d seemed so…happy together. Or had they been blinded by their beliefs of true love?

“I saw Hook yesterday. He’s miserable, he loves you. He’d never do anything to hurt you.” David didn’t believe it, sure Hook hadn’t been the greatest of guys back in the enchanted forest, but he had seen how much affection he held for his daughter.

“David…”

Emma didn’t look at either of them. Her first thought was to go and comfort him. Followed by rage at how her own feelings didn’t matter if she would do that. So what he had tried to hurt her and her family in the past. If he was miserable, that meant her feelings on the matter had to be squashed, right? “I don’t love him.”

Perhaps there had been a time when she had convinced herself it had been possible. That time was over. David’s disapproval hurt in ways Emma had been trying to avoid. Since she’d left, a fresh outlook had arisen and though she still struggled, things were brightening. Snow reached up to gently move some hair off Emma’s shoulder and smiled as she twisted her head.

“Maybe you’ll find love elsewhere.” Emma nodded, because that would be a conversation for another day. If anything were to still exist between the only person who popped into her mind at her mother’s words, then she imagined that going down, about as well as if she told them what had already happened between them.

“Emma, I don’t want to push you. All I want is for you to be happy.” Snow smiled up at her husband and decided to talk to him again. Perhaps she hadn’t gotten through what Emma had been like that night, but she hadn’t forgotten.

“Is it possible for you to fight them?” Snow asked, changing the topic onto something they would all like to know. Emma just shrugged and took a gulp of her coffee in preparation on filling her parents in on what they had found out. She still felt a little deflated, but the moment she dug in deep and really started to believe there was a chance for her to win, she came out of that shell and reminded herself she had made the right choice.

If being with him made her miserable enough to let these visions take its course, then whatever webs of lies her mind tried to tell her were just that…lies; she didn’t want him back, she didn’t want to give him a happy ending. The saviour roll was less important than her living to fill it. It was going to take some getting used to, but Emma already found herself believing it.

***

Regina perched on the edge of Henry’s bed as he closed his book and shuffled so he sat up right, “what was it you wanted to talk about?”

“I wanted to say sorry, again, Henry. I reacted terribly,” she said, altering her position so she sat twisted onto the bed and faced her son, “I don’t want you to think you can’t come to me. That you can’t tell me about yourself or that you have to hide things from me.”

“I know, mom-” he shrugged, pushing on his palms to sit up right, “I get it. You didn’t understand, but you tried and it’s okay.”

“It’s not, but I would like to know more. About how you feel and what you want. I’m here to listen.” Regina had been feeling terrible since the day he had come out to his mothers. It was something she had never heard of and for some reason she didn’t understand, she had refused to listen. It had hurt Henry and she had to make it right.

“What do you want to know?” He smiled a little, because it had hurt, but this was his mother…the same one who would do anything to protect him.

“Anything you want to tell me. If you explain your sexuality to me, I promise I’ll listen and do my best to understand.”

“Okay, well-” he wrinkled his nose, not wanting to hit embarrassing levels again, “I guess I’ve told you most of it. I still like girls, in a romantic way. You know? I want to take them on dates and make them smile and buy them gifts and cuddle up watching movies, couple-stuff!”

“That does sound nice-” she smiled and lightly squeezed his wrist.

“But…I don’t feel like I need to do any of that other stuff. I didn’t mind kissing Violet, but it…just was. I wouldn’t feel a loss not kissing a girl again, but I wouldn’t mind kissing a girl if we liked each other and that’s what she wanted.” He hoped he was making sense, he was trying to at least.

“So…you wouldn’t want to do anything more than kiss?” Regina could tell it was a topic which made him uncomfortable. It wasn’t as if it was a pleasant conversation to have for her either. Talking about sex to her child is not something she had ever wanted to do.

“I don’t feel any desire to…do anything with girls, but, maybe one day if I meet someone who I really love and she wants to be with me, I would be willing to try and do that for her.” He had thought about it, because if love was involved and they were going to have a long term committed relationship, he would consider at least trying.

“You would be intimate with a girl for love?”

“I’m not sure. I know other aces do that sometimes, for their partner. I won’t know until I meet someone when I’m older, if I would or not.”

Regina smiled softly, “if you ever did decide to be intimate and you needed any help, protection…anything. You know you can always come to me or your mother? Even David, if you felt more comfortable talking to a man about certain things. Me and Emma have talked about this in the past, before you came out to us and she made me realise it would be better for you to ask us to buy you some protection, rather than us telling you to wait and then you go end up not using protection.”

He bit his lip the entire time, because his mother wasn’t being cringe-worthy, but it remained a difficult topic. He nodded, “I will, I mean…the likelihood is I won’t need to, but if I did need anything, I would probably go to mom if I’m being honest.”

Regina chuckled and shook her head, “better Emma than me.”

“You’re okay with me?” he asked, a little hesitancy to his voice.

“Yes. Of course. I spent hours reading blogs and trying to understand. It helped, but I would much rather hear it from you. I read that a lot of people are different and that there’s a spectrum. Asexuals and grey-aces and demi-sexuals and romantic orientations are different-”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, a little proud his mother had spent some time finding out about all of this, “there’s a lot of us.”

Her face went serious as she looked to him, “I also came across some things which weren’t very nice. Some people, even within the gay community aren’t very welcoming. Is that something you’ve ever had to deal with?”

“Not really,” he’d been lucky in that respect, finding open-minded people who he could talk to and help figure himself out, “it annoys me when someone says I shouldn’t be part of the community because I’m straight…because that’s just dumb.”

Regina frowned, “how are you straight?”

“Because I’m exclusively into girls. Some people think that it means I’m straight, but I can’t be heterosexual and asexual at the same time. It’s so annoying.” He huffed, because talking to some people had been like talking to a brick wall. They didn’t want to understand and considering they were using similar rhetoric to what had been thrown at them, he didn’t get why people would want to shun him out.

“Those people aren’t worth your time. You matter and if you feel like you belong somewhere, then you belong. Don’t let anyone tell you any differently.”

“Okay mom.” Regina was overprotective at the best of times and he did like it, but he decided to take a breath and not think about those people anymore. He went to the one thing he wanted to forget completely, “you know that it would be a real relationship, right?”

Regina swallowed the lump in her throat, “yes, I do. I was a bigger idiot than your mother ever has been and don’t tell her I said that-” they both shared a smile, “I am so sorry, Henry, I didn’t mean it. I was thinking of platonic love, not romantic. There are so many aspects to a relationship and if you have a relationship without the physical intimacies, then it’s still a romantic relationship. I shouldn’t have said what I did.”

He nodded, “no, yeah, it’s alright. I’m glad you understand now. Love you mom.”

“I love you too, Henry.”

Regina moved and plonked down next to him, an arm wrapped around his shoulders. He chuckled, too old to be hugged by his mother, but he didn’t move, content to simply sit and talk, feeling more accepted than he ever had.


	14. Chapter 14

The sky was dull as the four women made their way to the barn. It created an eerie setting around what appeared to be an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere. Emma fell to the back of the group, intimidated by their sense of calm. They may have only been going to see Zelena, which did put Emma’s mind at ease in the slightest, but the surroundings and her lack of magic ability wasn’t helping.

These last few days she’d spent most of the time alone. Hook had come back to the house, but had soon realised she had meant everything. He’d gotten his things and announced he would be setting sail on the jolly roger as nothing worth his while remained for him. The sullen look on his face almost made her waiver, but she’d reminded herself of the eyes which had been angry and vengeful and had shut the door on him for the last time. The freedom had been liberating, to a degree, but she was grateful to get out of the house.

“I know you want answers.” Regina led the group, Maleficent close behind, “but let me deal with my sister. We’re on sort of good terms and if I speak to her I think she will help.” There was a chance she would help, she had helped Emma, after all.

“Sort of doesn’t bode much confidence.”

Lily pulled the thick coat around her as the temperature dropped the closer they got. The ambience had started to freak Emma out, but no one else had commented.

“Zelena’s hot headed. Imagine me when I was queen, but even more irrational. If you go in and begin to throw accusations, she’ll fire right back.” Maleficent rolled her eyes; this was something she had to see. No one could’ve been more irrational then Regina when she had been queen.

“Does anyone else feel weird?” Lily looked around, squinting at the lightening in the distance. She could swear they had left the town at warmer temperatures and less erratic weather. Emma nodded and crossed her arms tightly around her chest.

“I can sense Zelena’s magic.” It felt odd to Regina, but not as uncommon as others would find it and certainly not as off putting as it could’ve been. There was a sense it was weaker or Zelena was throwing some sort of hissy fit and the air around reflected that. She hoped not, for all of their sakes.

“I thought she was supposed to have been the dark one and she can’t sense a bit of magic tension? I made worst in my youth.” She lifted her hand and wiggled her fingers through the air as if playing a musical instrument. Something about it felt…tiny, not that she could place it.

“It didn’t exactly come with a handbook and a lot of that’s gone now, anyway.” Any glimpse of darkness had vanished and perhaps Emma was back to being the blank slate she’d been as a baby. At least where darkness was concerned.

None of them touched the statement now they had reached the door. Regina reached an arm out to the side at the same time Maleficent went to charge in. She huffed and Regina raised a brow, “I told you to wait.”

“Fine, I’m waiting.” She didn’t like it, though she hadn’t expected Regina to foresee her plans either. She huffed again and shoved both hands into her pockets. The action confused them all; she was a dragon, but then again, even Lily was cold.

Regina knocked and held her breath. There was something not quite right about the area and whatever it was, they were about to find out. After what felt like the longest minute in history, the door flew open, but as Regina took a step inside she couldn’t see sight of her sister. Regina took tentative steps as the others slowly made their way into the barn. Emma felt her fingers tingle, but pushed down on the pain running up her arm. Now was not the time.

“Zelena,” Regina whispered, but heard nothing in return.

The four of them stood in the living room, the space small, but big enough for the single occupant and her child. They eyed up the space, shaking their heads at each other when the door to Robyn’s bedroom burst open and Zelena ran in, the child in question in her arms.

“What are you all doing here?” she asked, face flushed and appeared more frantic than anyone had seen her in a long time. “I heard knocking and presumed it was my sister, I wasn’t expecting the entire freaking circus.”

Zelena lifted her daughter then placed her so her head could rest on the inviting shoulder. With one hand on her back, the other on her head, Zelena shushed her and bounced gently. Both eyes gleamed and she looked to the intruders with dismay, “don’t just stand there, get out.” The sound had the baby stir and whimper. Emma rubbed her hands together and shivered.

“Is everything alright?” Regina moved closer to Zelena, then twisted her head to eye Maleficent, “we came to ask you something, but it can wait.” Maleficent looked to the small child, nodded and moved to take a seat. Even she wouldn’t interfere when a baby was involved.

“It’s Robyn,” she said, the hysteria present in her voice, “something’s wrong with her. I can’t seem to get her temperature down and she’s spat everything up I’ve tried to feed her.” Her voice wobbled and Emma took one look at her and moved over to Regina whilst Lily took a seat next to her mother.

“We could take her to the hospital,” Emma said.

“For you to all take her off me? Whale’s not even a real doctor I’m not letting him anywhere near my daughter.” Her entire body was shaking and her words wobbled on each syllable.

“Hey, hey,” Regina soothed, a hand going to Zelena’s shoulder, “no one’s taking her off you. We just want to help. Can I see her?” There was a pause and Emma looked between them, feeling a blow she had never experienced. The way Regina looked to her, emphasised, reminded Emma of the time she had done just that.

Zelena nodded and handed Robyn over for Regina to pull the baby to her chest. Both hands went over Zelena's mouth as she stood helplessly watching her daughter. Emma was by Regina's side, as the back of her hand went to the baby’s head. “She’s heating up. Explains the magic.”

“Oh, it’s coming from Robyn?” Emma asked.

Zelena threw her hands into the air, “well of course it is! I wouldn’t keep her magic away from her like my pathetic excuse for a father did to me. Now help her.”

“Emma, go get a bowl of cold water and a cloth. Zelena, grab a towel and some clean clothes and fill up whatever you would feed her water in. Do you have any medicine?”

“I gave her some not long go.” She turned at the same as Emma, as Regina tried to soothe the child. In all honesty, she had no clue what she was doing, but making her more comfortable couldn’t hurt.

Regina began to remove her small clothes, leaving her in just a diaper and placed her on the towel Zelena had laid out on a changing mat she’d placed on the floor. The two of them sat around her whilst Emma went over to the couch. Regina grabbed the cloth and squeezed it in the water before gently wiping it over the wriggling child.

“How’s that supposed to help? If she’s not well a bit of water’s not going to do anything.” Zelena ran a finger down Robyn’s cheek and tried to calm her breathing.

“I’m not a doctor. I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but cooling her down might help. It was just an idea.” Emma’s original idea sounded better and if Robyn didn’t improve soon then she would poof her to the hospital herself.

The cool cloth was ran all over Robyn’s tiny body, which at some point was passed into Zelena’s hands. “My darling,” she whispered, “you’re all I have.” She leant forwards to kiss her little girl’s forehead when Regina placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You have both of us. No matter what, we’re sisters and I’m not ever going to shake you from my life, so I might as well embrace you.” Her eyes fell to Robyn and she paused. That was complicated, because she was supposed to have connections to this baby through the man deemed worthy enough to be her soulmate. She hadn’t had chance to breathe when it had been the two of them, a baby added to the mix had been too much, not that she could’ve shared those thoughts. “I’m her aunt.”

Zelena looked to her with a hint of a smile and Regina decided on the role she would play. But Robyn still hadn’t improved and what worried her the most was the lack of crying. She kicked her arms and legs, gurgled and whimpered, but when she went to cry it was as if it were too much effort and she gave up.

“Maybe-”

“I may have a solution, which would avoid a hospital trip.” Maleficent stood and crouched down, “could I hold her?”

Zelena and Regina both looked to each other. There was hesitancy in her sister’s eyes.

“I trust her,” Regina said, which had Zelena nod once and pick up her child. With care she handed her over and Regina wrapped an arm around her waist the moment Robyn had been passed from her arms.

“Hey there little one.” Maleficent placed Robyn on her shoulder and shushed down her ear, “now, considering your magic is already quite powerful-” her eyes searched out Zelena’s who nodded, a little proud, “you’re going to help me out.” She kissed the baby and every woman in the room watched as Maleficent transformed into a caring nurturing motherly figure. “Zelena, will you come here?”

Zelena was at her side in an instant, “what are you doing with her?”

“Place your hand on her back, does she know your magic?” If she was already letting such a small child harness her own power, then Maleficent thought she wouldn’t have been hiding back her own.

“Of course, I’m her mother.”

“I want you to gently feed her magic to let her know you’re there. I don’t want her to get scared.” Zelena nodded and began to do just that. “Now, I’m going to increase her temperature temporarily and by the way she has managed to cool down the temperate for only knows what distance, I’m hoping she will recognise that the heat is coming from me and transfer it back.”

“And if she knows to transfer the heat to you-”

“She should do the same with her temperature. It appears as if she’s been trying to cool herself down. Ready?”

Zelena nodded and Maleficent closed her eyes as she concentrated. The other women all looked on, nervous. Emma and Regina hadn’t even noticed that they’d stood next to each other and leant into each other’s sides. Robyn’s whimpers increased and she balled her hands into fists and scrunched her face.

The heat Maleficent had given her eventually made its way back to her body, but the temperature remained. She opened both eyes and bowed her head to the child, “come on little one, I’m a dragon, I can take it. Perhaps one day I’ll teach you how to shift.”

Zelena raised her brow, but was cut off from saying a word as a loud screech came from her daughter. Maleficent pulled back with a smile and handed her back to her mother. Zelena balanced her so she lay in the crook of her arm and rocked her to sooth the crying. The other hand went to her forehead, which remained clammy but not nearly as hot as earlier. “Grab the thermometer.”

Regina was on it, passed it over and when the reading came back, Zelena sighed and kissed her daughter. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You’re badass, mom.” Maleficent’s eyes welled up at Lily’s use of the term, sat down and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Emma looked to her with a smile and they shared a look no one else was privy to.

“Maleficent has something she would like to ask you.” Regina walked to her sister, placed the arm back around her waist and kissed her cheek. They weren’t overly affectionate usually, but Regina was willing to try.

“Anything.” Zelena hadn’t taken her eyes off Robyn, but at that moment she would’ve given the world. The crying began to ease and she morphed back into the little girl Zelena was accustomed to.

“I’ll get straight to the point. We’ve been searching for Lily’s father and it turns out he’s in Oz. Now, I don’t know why he’s there, but I thought perhaps you might have a way of either getting us to him or getting him to us.” Rip if off like a band aid, better than loitering around the subject.

“Oops.” Zelena smirked, but as Robyn stirred in her arms it faded quickly. “I may have trapped a dragon in Oz. I’ll send word to free him, but I have no way of getting you there and unless he has a portal, I can’t get him here either.”

“There has to be a way.”

She looked to Lily with the softest of smiles, wrapped a piece of hair behind her ear and thought upon the moments she had missed with her daughter. Lily squirmed and smiled tightly, shuffling away from the affection. On a sigh, Maleficent stood and tried not to think too hard about it. “This if for my child. She deserves to know her father.”

Zelena swallowed and bounced Robyn in her arms. Looking down at her daughter, she wouldn’t allow that thought to rise. She had Robyn now and she was a better person for it. “Maybe you could ask the queen.”

Regina frowned, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

Her sister was right in that regard; portals weren’t easy to come by, but the thought of the queen having one…she didn’t know what to make of it. What she would want with one was another matter entirely.

Zelena rolled her eyes, “how am I supposed to know? I’m the helpless sister stuck in-between the two of you.”

Maleficent caught Regina’s eyes, “I guess it’s time we made contact with the queen.”

Regina nodded stiffly. Emma moved to her side, the presence reminding her she wasn’t alone. “I suppose we will have to.”

The four of them didn’t stay long. After they’d tried to get as much information out of Zelena as possible, Regina thought it best to give her sister some space to be with her daughter. Maleficent poofed Lily away after they’d spoken and said their goodbyes, leaving Emma and Regina to walk back down the field as the sun began to set.

“I know it’s not our scheduled night,” Regina began, feet squelching over leaves, “but, would you like to join me and Henry for dinner tonight?”

Emma shook her head, “sorry, I’m not feeling that great. Could we do tomorrow?”

“If you would prefer.” Regina slid her hands into the coat pockets, eyes staring straight ahead as they made their way back into town. They walked in silence for some time, until Regina’s need to know what was wrong overrode anything else, “not feeling great…how?”

Emma shrugged, “just don’t feel good.”

“That’s not much of an answer.”

“Had a vision not long before we met and I feel a bit…down or whatever.” Emma wanted to crawl into bed, pull the covers over her head and not come out again. It was a wonderful idea, except she would want Regina’s arms to be around her the entire time. It wasn’t as if she could ask that of her. That part remained a craving.

“You can still talk to me, Emma. That hasn’t changed.” For all accounts, they’d bounced back quickly. There remained too much between them for Regina to walk away completely.

“Nothing much to say. Feel like shit. It’s a constant really.” Emma hugged herself; admitting that was harder than she anticipated. In all truth, it came and went.

Regina twisted her head, expression softening, “you’ve never mentioned this.”

“I sometimes feel awful, as if I’m…as if no-one wants me.”

There was no reply this time. Any words which would soothe Emma’s thoughts, got trapped and refused to be spoken. She took a few diagonal steps and reached her arm out towards Emma, squeezing her bicep softly. Emma hummed; perhaps it wasn’t arms to lay within, but it felt nice. Better than reassuring words which wouldn’t stop the thoughts or take away the feelings.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Regina said as they reached the part where they would go their separate ways, "don't hesitate to call if you need anything."

Emma nodded and smiled tightly, "goodnight," she forced out then dragged her feet away, forcing herself to take each step until she could find the safety under her covers. She'd try again tomorrow, but for tonight, she needed some time to dwell and be alone.


	15. Chapter 15

“You guys are acting weird.” He’d noticed since the moment Emma had walked through the door. So, they’d missed a family meal last week and they’d been fighting over something he couldn’t quite figure out. “You’ve been acting weird since mom stayed for the night then disappeared.”

Emma and Regina shared a glance over the dining room table. They’d thought they’d moved past it, when all they had done was shove their feelings under a guise of alcohol and Emma’s tears. Not dealing with it would be the easiest path they’d both want to take. It wasn’t like they hadn’t managed to get along since the night at the bar.

“Well…” the thought hung in Emma’s open mouth. It wasn’t as if she could tell her thirteen-year-old son that she’d slept with his other mother.

“We’re working through some things,” Regina added, unhelpfully considering it was a lie, no matter which way she looked at it. She hated lying to him, so, the statement was followed by a sigh and she looked directly at Emma who sat to her left, “maybe we _should_ talk.”

“Now?” Emma looked directly ahead at her son then to where Regina sat at the head of the table.

“Not now, Miss Swan, our son is sat right there.” There was a huff and fingers which ran through Regina’s hair. The issue of that night remained a sore spot, one she wanted to pretend wasn’t there, but had persisted in anger being present during most interactions with the woman.

Henry looked between them before he shoved a large forkful of his food into his mouth, content on keeping it shut. Whatever was going on between them he didn’t want any part of. He would help and provide information between the two of them when he thought it would help, but other than that, he’d learned to stay out of their business.

“Could we get a dog?” he said, the food still rolling around his mouth.

“A dog?” Regina looked to Emma who sat with her back straight and eyes wide. “Don’t you dare say a word.”

Emma smiled sheepishly and shrugged with one shoulder, “but…”

“No.” Henry sighed and she turned with an apology in her eyes, “sorry, Henry, let me think about it first, okay? Dogs are a lot to handle and look after.”

“But…”

“No.” Regina turned her murderous gaze on Emma, who shut her mouth promptly and fell into her chair with an eye roll.

“Moody,” she mumbled and did exactly as her son had just done, the food preventing her from talking as Regina sat with one brow raised at her as if she were about to be disciplined and sent to the naughty corner.

Emma looked down and continued to eat. The issue of a dog was a lot less serious than the other issue presented. Then there was that little subject of Regina’s emotions remaining like a tornado. They hadn’t discussed the potion since Emma had come across it. She only hoped Regina had been considering it. The queen hadn’t been seen in a short period of time, too, but that was only a matter of time.

“Please mom? I’d take it for walks and clean up after it and feed it and everything.” He bounced on a chair like a kid at Christmas. He’d asked in the past, but Regina had always fired back with the ‘when you’re older,’ but now he _was_ older and there was still no dog.

“I could help out when I’m here and even take it for walks when I’m not working and Henry is at school.” Emma had always wanted a dog growing up, it had been one of those things she had envisioned being part of the picture perfect family. Regina shook her head and took a deep breath.

“I’ll think about it. Anyway, haven’t you got homework to finish?”

He scooped up the last bite on his plate, “can’t I do it tomorrow I still have three days?”

“I’m with your mom kid. Get a bit done tonight and tomorrow and you won’t have to rush it the night before.” Regina gave Emma a grateful smile. Their co-parenting had been going smoothly over these last few years and although their relationship had been a bit back and forth, that part had stayed consistent for a long time.

“Fine,” he said, drawing out the word, “I know when you’re trying to get me out of the room. But whatever is going on between you, could you please sort it out? I like mom being all mom again…just stop being weird.” He stood, his plate going with him as she exited the dining room and went into the kitchen.

Emma frowned at the comment, “how am I acting?”

“You’re acting like a child and you’ve finally taken to wearing your red leather jacket again. That sum it up?” It was more than that, but Emma nodded with a smile, because that did sum it up. She wasn’t all there yet, but bits and pieces seemed to be falling back into place.

“Should we talk?” It was the part she had been dreading, the moment she had to see the pain flash across Regina’s eyes because of her mistakes. Open up parts of herself which she had wanted to keep shut. All she received was a nod, before they made their way into the kitchen for their routine of washing and drying. That followed them opening a bottle of wine which they took outside.

“I don’t even know where to start.” Emma sat on one end of the swinging bench as Regina took the other. It was a nice night, the sky was clear and the temperature warm, the ambience almost felt…soft; if they were a couple, it would've bene the type of evening they would spend cuddled up, talking about nothing and everything.

Regina sat with one leg over the other, wine glass held loosely in one hand and looked down towards the ground, “I think we need to be honest, if we’re ever going to get passed this.”

“I’ll try.”

Regina twisted to look at Emma, “as will I.”

Their eyes held and Emma swallowed. There was no turning back now, not that there was ever going to be a chance to turn back after Regina had said what she had followed by Emma reacting how she had. “I don’t regret it, even if it hurts, I don’t regret being with you.”

“I swing back and forth-” she sighed and slowly lent back against the cushioned benched, “part of me wished it hadn’t have happened, because it hurts, but…”

“I didn’t intend to hurt you, for what it’s worth.” Regina nodded, but remained tight lipped. Emma waited for the apology in return, but it never came. Initially, it had been too raw and she hadn't expected anything. She locked it away, because all of it had been her fault, anyway.

Regina lifted the glass to her lips and on a shaky breath glanced to Emma, “but you always manage to, don’t you?” No sooner were the words out, did she regret them. The wine went down her throat at a quick rate, until the glass was emptied and she placed it on the ground. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Emma let it go. For this one time, she noticed. All the misplaced comments and mood swings, the irrational behaviour or lack of restraint. “It’s fine, you’re half of a person.” Emma flinched, because nope, that was supposed to have remained a thought.

“Excuse me?” They weren’t supposed to be back onto this. Regina certainly didn’t want to be back to this, much preferring the original topic, “is that your attempt at deflecting?”

“No, Regina, I’m…” honesty, they’d promised honesty, she turned so she could face Regina head on, “you’re missing parts of yourself and I was moping in my own pits so I didn’t notice or was too afraid to step out of line, but you know you wouldn’t have said that, well, not recently, anyway.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Look-” Emma grasped onto one of her palms, “you said to me you were done pretending you didn’t notice I was unhappy. Now it’s my turn. We can talk about us later.”

“Us?” Regina frowned, because that was the part she had to focus on. It sounded weird in her mouth, but sent butterflies straight to her gut.

“I…yeah…” Emma pulled the hand away and wrapped both arms around her middle, “you know what I mean,” she whispered, not making eye contact with Regina. Self-doubt flared to life, because no matter what, for all the upset and anger, Regina hadn’t wanted anything to do with her whether she had stayed or not.

“I wasn’t aware there was an ‘us’ dear.” Emma shrugged, twisted on the bench so her legs were slightly pulled up at an angle. She toyed with a response in her mind, the apology which hadn’t come still fighting its way to the surface.

Regina sighed, “Emma?”

“No, I guess not.” Was there a part of Emma which wanted them to be? Sex was one thing, but feelings…she’d been vulnerable and miserable and confused and Regina had implied she had, until those words were spoken and Emma had already been used to shutting down parts of herself she hadn’t even bothered to think of them again.

“I…don’t understand, you were the one to run out on me. Why are you acting like I was the one to hurt you?” Regina didn’t get it in the slightest. She’d told herself she had been a warm bed and an outlet. Somewhere Emma didn’t have to be so sad.

She’d ran. There was nothing more to it.

Emma pulled her legs up and wrapped both arms around them, propping her chin on her knees. She pouted, “you’re ashamed of me.”

“What?”

She shrugged and thought back to what Hook had said to her after she’d returned from hospital. How Regina wouldn’t want to see her. It had been one comment and it had cut like a knife, but as usual, she didn’t voice the issue too far, intent to let the sting be unknown. It had been used to hurt her, but there was a niggling in Emma’s gut which made her believe it to be true.

“That’s ridiculous even for you.” Regina felt for Emma, she really did. Whatever was going on inside her mind mustn’t be pleasant. It had helped her get a grip on the anger, take a breath and understand that night from Emma's perspective, but even she couldn’t come up with how Emma had made that leap.

She hugged her legs tighter, the sharpness to Regina’s tone setting off warning bells when there should be none, “true.”

“We…slept together, that’s-”

“Yeah and you said you wouldn’t want anyone to know.” It wasn’t something Emma had forgotten either. It faded in and out when she had recently thought of them as something more. Potentially, because she was still unsure as to where she was at mentally with all of this.

It took a moment for Regina’s mind to fall back to the part where Emma had been about to leave and… “I lashed out, you really think I meant that?” Emma, of all people, should understand what Regina could be like at times of discomfort and pain. They got each other and it didn’t excuse what she had said, but, well, dammit, she hadn’t meant for Emma to take it as she had. “Look, I’m sorry, but, don’t ever think that, okay?”

Emma looked straight ahead, far too many scars blurring into one. “I don’t know what to believe.” Better to admit it than let it fester; it hadn’t been doing her much good in recent months. Parts had begun to untangle, but others remained a mess.

“I guess this is us talking.” Regina contemplated Emma for a moment, along with herself, her feelings and everything else in between. There was no need to go too deep, but a shove in the right direction might do Emma some good. “Know that-” her hands gestured in the air and her voice shook with emotion, “if we’re going for honesty. Then I…I…” she swallowed and twisted her head to see large green eyes staring back, “I have feelings…for you.”

Regina snapped her head away, picked up the bottle, the glass and poured herself some more wine. The bottle was back down and half the contents of the glass were gone before she dared look in Emma’s direction.

Emma hadn’t moved, too busy trying to work out what that statement meant. If she wanted it to be true or not. The last person who had fallen for her had torn her to shreds. Regina was complicated and her own feelings on the matter were too. Then there was the matter of the split and the inability to use her instincts was not helping in the slightest.

Regina took the silence to continue. Now it was out there she may as well. “I never thought you’d ever want me back. I was okay with it, I mean, I didn’t like it, but I’d accepted it. Then you made a move and I knew you were with him and I knew you were going through a lot, but no matter what I told myself, I couldn’t turn you away. I wanted you.”

“I didn’t mean,” she whispered, not sure what else to say, “I’m sorry I left.”

“I wasn’t that you left which hurt. I know you, I…partly expected it, if I’m being honest.” Another sip, but Regina didn’t look in Emma’s direction. She sat with her back pressed to the bench, chin lifted towards the sky. “What hurt, Emma, was for a second, I believed you wanted me. You gave me hope, then took it away.”

Emma turned her body and dived forwards. One hand went to the other side of Regina's leg, her left hand on the back of the bench. Lunging forwards, she pressed their lips together firmly before either of them knew what had happened. Brown eyes were wide and green were squeezed so tightly, she would likely see stars upon opening them. Then she pulled back, frowned and looked down.

“Shit,” she muttered whilst Regina sat shell shocked, “I-” her hand slipped from the bench and she sat back up. They both sat with their backs straight, feet planted on the floor and whilst Emma looked out to the sky, Regina didn’t take her eyes off her. Fingers traced the lips Emma had just kissed. “I would do that with him.”

“I really don’t think talking about that pirate is a good idea right now.” Okay, Regina was angry, she had every right to be, but Emma had reacted and it…made things clear. She turned her head back to face Regina, as dawning spread on her face.

“No, I mean, whenever he said I hurt him, I would kiss him on instinct. It got to the point where I didn’t even remember doing half of the things he accused me of.” Her eyes drifted as she thought on that point, not that Regina deserved to be on the receiving end. “I’m sorry, though, I shouldn’t have done that. Not after what you just said.”

“No. You shouldn’t.” Part of her wanted to hear, the other wanted to ignore her reasoning and stay mad. “But…whatever you mean by that, it doesn’t sound healthy.”

“No, but I am sorry.” After she’d ran a hand down her face, Emma stood and faced Regina with an apologetic smile. “I’m gunna go, I don’t mean to confuse you. I don’t know what I want, everything’s such a mess in my head.”

“Goodnight, dear.” Regina didn’t move or look to her and it had Emma’s heart clench, because she’d done it again.

On a breath, she crouched in front of where Regina sat, took the wine glass to place it on the floor then wrapped her fingers around Regina’s hands.

“Look at me,” she said and waited until those brown orbs found her own, “I’m sorry, for that night and I’m sorry for what I just did. I don’t know what I’m doing or what I want. I think I need to sort myself out before I can promise anything more. And we’re going to talk about you and the queen don’t think I haven’t forgotten. But know,” her voice turned into that of a whisper and Regina’s eyes were glued to her and glistened in the moonlight, “I’d never felt anything like I had than when we were together. It was real and I hadn’t felt anything real in a long time, so…I ran. But not from you, Regina.”

There was a single tear on Regina’s cheek and it made everything that much worse. She’d seen it before and wanted to wipe it away. To pull her in close and not let go. There remained thoughts which didn’t make sense, which were jumbled and mixed with everything that had happened since she’d come to town, but Emma planned to sort them. No one else would do it for her.

Emma pulled her hands away and stood, not needing to say goodbye before she left. With one hand on the door, she paused and turned back around. “Hook made me choose. When I’d told him we’d slept together. It’s why I left him.” She turned back around before Regina could react.

***

When Regina opened the door the following morning, she had expected to slam it back in Emma’s face. Except, it wasn’t Emma and the expression on her face morphed from hard to soft at the young girl who bounced on the balls of her feet.

“Violet, can I…help you?” Regina was a little confused to see her here. The last she had heard from Henry was that they’d broken up. Although, she did want to protect her son and lock him away until she deemed him old enough to date, Emma was right about her assessment of Violet. She was sweet and he had been acting like a mopey teenager since their break-up.

She smiled brightly, both hands clasped in front of her middle. “Hi, is Henry home? I wanted to talk to him.”

“He is,” she said with a hint of doubt, “could I ask what about?”

Violet bit her lip and hesitated, before she sighed and smiled again. “Well, he broke up with me and I wanted to know why, because we were having fun together and I just thought…if I did something wrong, I could make it right.”

Regina let out a little sigh and smiled. It was mature, not many adults would face up to something like a break-up. She thought they were more adult about their feelings than she had ever been. Not that she wanted to allow her mind to wander down that path. She did suppose, now she had sat down and talked to Henry, that she knew the reason he had ended it and as much as it killed her, it wasn’t her place to intervene. There was enough of that throughout her own childhood.

“Come on in,” she said, the two walking into the mansion. “Just wait here, I’ll go get him for you.”

“Thank you.” Violet seemed a little taken aback at first, until she spun on the spot to take in the size of the place, “your house is lovely.”

“Thank you, dear-” she smiled and Violet’s shoulders relaxed as she let out a breath, “I’ll be right back.”

Regina made her way to Henry’s room, feeling a little flutter in her heart. After she’d knocked and Henry shouted for her to come in, did she push open the door, one hand clasped on the wood and popped her head over the side. “Violet is downstairs waiting for you. She would like to talk to you.”

Henry sat up straight from where he had been slouched on the bed, “she is?”

“Yes, I think you should go and talk to her,” she said softly, unable to comprehend how she was suddenly trying to match-make.

Henry slumped back down, “I don’t want to talk to her.” He did, but he didn’t want to have to face the rejection. He liked her and she liked him in return and perhaps they were young, but Henry didn’t want to experience being told he wasn’t good enough.

“Henry,” Regina kept her expression soft, but added a firm tone to her voice, “go and talk to her. She might surprise you.”

Henry took a minute to toy with the idea, realising it was worth a shot. If she had come here, the least he could offer up was an explanation. If she didn’t want anything to do with him after, then nothing would change. “Okay,” he bounded off the bed and the two of them made their way downstairs.

“Hey,” Henry said as he got to the bottom of the staircase. He received a bright smile in return and a small blush crept up her cheeks. Regina, for as much as she did want to protect him, thought it was sweet.

“Can I get you both anything to drink?” The least she could do was be a good hostess to her guest, but the pair shook their heads. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” She kissed Henry on the head then made her way to the study, reminding herself Henry was aging and she would have to step back on many subjects. Especially that of his love life.

Less than thirty minutes later, Henry bound into her study. Regina lifted her head from where she had been leant over the desk. It hadn’t been the first time she had bombarded herself with work, in a futile attempt to take her mind off everything which had been happening. The moment she saw his smile, however, all the negative aspects faded to nothing.

“Is it cool if me and Violet go see a movie?” That endless smile said it all. He made his way further into the office and stopped in front of the desk. “I told her everything and she says she still wants to be with me. I know we’re only young, but she says she doesn’t mind not doing anything more than kiss and cuddle.”

“You…cuddle?” Regina had to raise her brow at that.

She let the rest lie, because they had already talked this over. There was a chance a day would come where he would take things further, but she trusted him to be safe if anything were to ever happen. Regina had put her own feelings aside about the possibility of her son having sex and talked to him like an adult capable of making his own choices. He had promised he would be safe and go to either of his mothers if he ever needed anything. It didn’t change his sexuality, but for love, he would be willing and open to the idea of being sexually intimate with his partner.  

“Well, yeah-” he shrugged, hands sliding into the pocket of his jeans, “she likes to cuddle into my side and it’s nice.”

Regina felt her heart warm. Perhaps they were young, but if Violet made him happy and he got to be with her, even if it only lasted a short while, then she couldn’t be anything but supportive. She stood, picked up her wallet and handed over enough money to buy both of their tickets and snacks.

“Have a great time.” She handed him the money, unable to hide her own happiness on the matter; for however much she would rant and rave about no one being good enough for her son, she was happy.

“Thanks mom, you’re the best.” He kissed her cheek and beamed.

“I’m glad everything worked out with the two of you. Anyone would be lucky to have you,” she cupped his cheek and smiled, “maybe you could finally invite her around for dinner one evening.”

“Yeah,” he said a little more certain, “I’d like that.”

Regina kissed his head, grateful even as he reached his teenage years he would still allow her to do that. “Call if you need anything.”

“Will do mom, love you.”

“Love you,” she said, then he turned and was out of the room like a lightning bolt.

Regina chuckled to herself as she made her way back around the desk, a smile which no one could take away. Except for the moment she went to call Emma to tell her the news. Then it faded and didn’t return for the remainder of the day.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: talk of domestic abuse.

Emma stood at the door, both hands shoved into her pockets and waited with apprehension. She hadn’t spoken to anyone about this, too scared of what it would mean. Her current state was too persistent to ignore, however, not when she’d catch herself doing things she hadn’t given a second thought whilst still in a relationship with him. Each morning she would wake with dread, only to sigh in relief as the bed was occupied by her and her alone. It wasn’t something that could continue, but she didn’t want to talk to her family about it, either.

The door opened and she sucked in a breath. “Hi,” she said, as Archie stared back at her with a warm smile.

“Emma?” he took half a second to nod his head, voice still sounding rough as if he had just woken up, “it’s good to see you. Would you like to come in?”

“Yeah.” The air she’d been holding came out in one rushed breath as she made her way into the office. It had remained the same since she had first come to town and had sat in here discussing Henry. “I hope it’s okay that I just dropped by.”

Archie closed the door and walked towards where she stood in the middle of the room, “of course, of course. Not a problem at all, Emma. Take a seat-” he gestured towards the couch then took a place on the chair opposite. “Would you like to talk to me about something?”

The leather material squeaked as Emma slid back, palms pressed into the cold surface from where she had tucked them under her knees. “Erm…yeah, I guess.”

He smiled and crossed one leg over the other, leant back into the chair. “How have you been, Emma? Why don’t we start there?” That wasn’t exactly a simple set of questions either. Emma chuckled nervously and Archie clasped his hands over his knee, content to wait out the silence.

“I’m…not sure. Alright, I suppose.” Emma swallowed at the silence, the smile never once wavering from his face. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know how this worked. She did and she’d decided to make the visit. There was no point wasting his time. “Actually, I…I don’t think I’m okay.”

Eyes diverted downwards the moment the words were out. Jumping head first into the hard stuff had been turning into her speciality. There was issues Emma had become aware of within herself and if she didn’t try to find a way to heal them, then she would be stuck as this unrecognisable person indefinitely.

“You don’t think you’re okay.” It wasn’t worded as a question, a simple judgement free statement and Emma remembered there was at least one reason she liked talking to him. Emma shook her head, but remained slouched forwards and her eyes stilled as her mind wandered. “Would you like to elaborate? Remember, nothing you say leaves this room.”

“I don’t feel like myself.” Emma fell back, untucked her arms and let them flop to her sides with a sigh. Archie didn’t comment, as usual, he sat and waited for Emma to continue. “I told myself that many lies, I don’t know what’s true anymore.”

“Lies?”

Emma’s head flopped over the back of the couch and she stared at the ceiling. “That I was happy, that he was what I wanted, that…I was…fine, when I wasn’t.” Another sigh saw to it they sat in silence. Archie digested the information, but didn’t add anything just yet. Emma didn’t really know what to say either.

“How do you feel now?”

“Not okay,” she whispered and brought her head back down so she could look at Archie, “like I need help to be okay again.” A little gleam overcame her eyes and her voice had shaken in the slightest, but Archie simply nodded his head with that smile still in place.

“I’m here, Emma. Always, you can talk to me about anything.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“That’s okay, tell me what you mean when you say you don’t feel okay.”

Emma pushed on her hands to pull herself back into a seated position, hands twiddled in her lap and she nodded her head, “yeah,” then sat lost in thought for a moment. There was uncertainty in herself, not sure how to phrase the things she felt.

“I guess, I feel lost.” More silence, until Emma chuckled with a lump in her throat, “I’m doing what I’m supposed to do and all it’s ever felt is wrong.”

“What things are you supposed to be doing?”

“You know, I’m supposed to find a man, settle down, get married, have kids. Everyone else wants that, so…why, why doesn’t it feel right?” She locked eyes with him and told herself not to cry. The environment permitted vulnerability and facing thoughts, feelings and emotions she had never put a voice too. When that happened, it stirred emotions and made her feel them.

“Just because other people want something, doesn’t mean you automatically have to. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting those things. I know it may seem as if you’re the only one who feels this way, but you’re not, Emma and it’s okay to want different things then what’s expected of you.” Emma dropped her gaze and Archie took a breath. “Why do you think it didn’t feel right?”

“I think…I don’t know.”

“You were about to say something, what was it you thought?”

“I feel so different now. If I’ve had to change so much of myself to be with him, then, maybe that’s why it didn’t feel right, you know?” she shrugged; it was the first time she had admitted those thoughts out loud. That she’d changed for him and perhaps it hadn’t been for the better. “I thought I’d let him in, that’s what everyone kept telling me. That I’d stopped running and changed…for him.”

“Just to be clear, we’re referencing Killian?”

“Yeah. I thought I’d done the right thing, but, now it all feels wrong. I don’t even recognise myself.” There was more, somewhere under the surface if she could scrape away enough layers, but for now she was content keeping it to surface level. “You shouldn’t have to change for someone, right?”

“It’s not uncommon for people to grow and change as we move through life, but altering yourself to a point where you’re unhappy to please someone else, I don’t think that’s a good foundation for a relationship. Were you unhappy with him, Emma?”

She looked like a dear in headlights. Both eyes had grown so wide and her mouth was a tight line. There was still this incessant need to lie, to say she was happy, because it was what she was supposed to feel, what everyone expected of her. Her lower lip trembled, “yes,” she whispered then looked back down to her lap.

“Is this one of the lies you told yourself? That you were happy when you weren’t.” At Emma’s nod, he prompted further, “can I ask you if you were aware you were lying to yourself and if you were, why did you continue to lie instead of doing what made you happy?”

Emma took a deep breath and shrugged, “I wanted to be happy, I thought eventually, everything would feel good. I don’t think it ever did.” She frowned, deeply, unaware where that had come from. Certain that there must have been a time for things to be good if she had been so determined to hold onto them. The rest she didn’t want to touch. Archie had other ideas, tucking away that piece of information for later.

“Why continue to lie to yourself? What purpose would being unhappy serve?”

Emma shrugged, “I don’t know,” then pulled her legs to her chest and remembered she had come here for help, not to close in on herself, “I was scared.” Both arms tightened around her legs and she sat cuddled up as Archie didn’t say anything further, waiting for her to fill in the blanks.

When it didn’t happen, he leant forwards by leaning both of his elbows on each leg and looked to Emma, “what were you scared of?”

“Of being alone.” She buried her face and took deep breaths to process. The next words came out muffled, but were loud enough for Archie to hear, “no one ever wants me.”

“And he did.” Archie wasn’t about to reduce her feelings, her fears, not when not much throughout her life had confirmed the opposite. He was the ear and a voice to steer someone back onto the right path. Not to argue back and tell them they’re wrong, even if he knew there was an entire town which wanted her, not to mention her family.

“I was his happy ending.” Emma popped her head back up, “if I left I wouldn’t be able to give him that, I would be doing a crappy job of being the saviour and then my parents wouldn’t want me. They shoved me through a wardrobe so I could be the saviour and if I’m not then what am I to them?”

Archie swallowed and sat back up in his chair. There was obviously a lot of issues and emotional scars Emma had yet to work through. It would take more than one session. He took a breath and decided it was time for them to unpick these issues. “You haven’t forgiven your parents?”

“Yes, of course I have.” The words were no sooner out then Emma deflated at them. There was no point in lying anymore. Her voice came out tiny as a single, “no,” was formed on her lips.

“So, I think we’re going to need more than one session, if you would like that?” Emma nodded, so he continued. “We’ll put your parents and any issues you have with them on hold for the time being. Let’s go back to your relationship and what you’re feeling right now. It seems it all intertwines, but let’s take one step at a time. Okay?”

Emma nodded again, “yeah, I think I need more than one session. I’m a complete mess.” She gave a little chuckle to ease her discomfort, but it died down quickly.

“You said being with him didn’t feel right?” Archie looked to Emma to get confirmation and she nodded then looked away. “Could I ask you something, Emma?”

“Why do I feel like you’re going to ask me something I’m not going to want to answer?” One corner of her mouth upturned, but the little smirk fell quickly.

“Because facing parts of ourselves which we don’t want to face, is very difficult for anyone. But, I was going to ask, why do you believe it felt as it did?” He wanted to know for several reasons.

Emma shook her head, “I don’t know. It’s what you’re supposed to do. Find a man you love and be with them. It’s what my parents wanted me to do, they wanted me to find true love, so, I…tried, but it, it just wasn’t…”

“What you wanted.” Emma shook her head side to side and Archie could see the conflict brewing inside her eyes. “It didn’t feel right from the start?”

“I’m not sure, I don’t think it did.” There had been the dress, the type she wouldn’t usually wear. There were some dresses she liked, but that one looked as if it had come from the decades in the past. It was more to please him and her parents than anything else.

“Then why did you agree to date him? There must have been a reason.” Archie could guess half a dozen from what Emma had already told him, but perhaps there was more.

“Like I already said, it’s what I was supposed to do. Be with a man and my parents liked him. The least I could do was give him a chance.” The reasons were murky now, all she could seem to remember was that he was always there. There was never an option to say no.

“Emma, I’m asking about you. There must have been a reason. It wasn’t as if there wouldn’t have been other partners for you to date.” All Emma did was shrug, shuffled a little so she sat with her legs crossed and flopped her hands into the gap between her legs.

“He was persistent and wanted to be with me.”

“Emma. You can tell me,” he said softly, not wanting to push too hard, whilst he knew she needed it. “It didn’t feel right and you continued?”

“He was easy and I tried to tell myself I wanted to be with him, I was supposed to, like I said, want to be with a man. I could at least try.”

Archie sighed, not quite able to get where he wanted her to go. He tried another route. “Tell me what you mean by it didn’t feel right.”

Emma shrugged, “I dunno,” then continued to look down and not let herself pull on that thought, but her mouth had other ideas, “it felt uncomfortable whenever we were close. I never liked kissing him, but it’s always felt like that, I just, I thought…I thought it felt like that for everyone.”

Emma had generally believed it too. There were the times he would hold her hand and all she had wanted to do was let go. He would hug her and she’d squirm away. Other women liked it, but she wouldn’t allow herself to accept that she didn’t.

“It felt uncomfortable and that didn’t bother you?” He leant forwards again and willed Emma to answer; there had to be a reason it didn’t feel right, whether she was ready to admit that or not.

“It’s always felt uncomfortable, what difference would it make?” It wasn’t just Hook and deep down, Emma had started to understand that. She hated it and wished she could be like everyone else, she wished she could be _normal._

“With him or in every relationship?”

Emma simply shrugged, not attempting to answer that. The silence stretched on for longer than anyone would be comfortable, but Emma didn’t fill in anymore blanks. Her mind had done that for her and she didn’t like what it was telling her. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Okay, that’s okay Emma. Could you think about it for me?” He smiled at her nod, then looked back at Emma. “Maybe we could talk about something different. Could you tell me why you decided to come and talk to me?”

Emma shook her hands and took a breath. “Need a minute,” she muttered then shifted so she lay completely flat against the coach, hands rested on top of her stomach and eyes stared at the ceiling.

“Take as much time as you need.” Archie fell back and waited, already aware he had pushed Emma and there was only a small chance she would keep going in this session.

Emma knew the exact reason she had come to him. If she confessed to that, it meant they would end up on the same thought process. She wasn’t ready for that. Far from it. “I did something, which I usually did without question and realised it was totally screwed up.” Archie didn’t say a word, waiting for Emma to continue. “Whenever I would do something that Hook wasn’t happy about, he would always ask me to make it up to him and normally, he…well we would…”

“It’s okay, Emma, we’re both adults.” Archie got the idea and already he didn’t like the sound of it. Manipulating someone to that extent could be more than damaging.

“We would have sex and he…he didn’t,” her head tipped forwards and her fingers twiddled above her stomach, “he never made me, like I’ve said no in the past and he would stop, but…”

Archie held his breath at Emma’s sigh, though she seemed reluctant to continue. “But?”

“Sometimes it felt I had to. Almost like I owed it to him, because I’d hurt him or messed up.” Emma lay with her chest rising and falling slowly. There was no relief which came with saying it out loud, but she didn’t feel panicked either. It hadn’t been what she originally set out to say and she didn’t feel up to discussing it any further. “Could we talk about something else?”

“Of course.” Archie stored that away too, another thing they would have to work through added to the list. “You never did tell me why you made the appointment.”

“I kinda reacted like that with someone else. It was just a kiss, but the moment I did it, I realised I was reacting like I would with him. But it wasn’t him and it was a stupid mistake because I only made everything worse. It got me to see how messed up it was for me to react like that.”

The moment she had kissed Regina, was the moment it felt as if glass had shattered in front of her eyes. The illusion went with it. It was far from okay, physical intimacy between partners should be mutual and not be bent into something else. Used as favours or for forgiveness and that’s exactly what she had been doing with him. It dated back to their first kiss.

Regina had been right. She’d been handing him medals for not doing the wrong thing. He hadn’t killed her father. She’d kissed him in return. Then it had escalated from there.

“It’s brave to recognise behaviour as unhealthy and maybe this doesn’t mean much coming from me, but I am proud of you for making this appointment. I promise I’m going to do everything I can to help you, Emma.”

She let her head flop to the side to smile at him. Perhaps it was Archie, but not many people had told her that throughout her life. Emma knew this was going to be difficult, it was hard enough telling him what she had so far, but she nodded, because it would be worth it.

***

“I didn’t realise there were so many books on potions.” They were back in Regina’s vault a few days after the evening spent on the porch. It was the first time they had seen each other since, after Emma had received a brief text asking if she would be free.

“We need to keep searching. It has to be in here somewhere.” Regina sat on the other side of the vault, skimming through pages and pages, but couldn’t seem to find what she had been looking for. It shouldn’t have been this difficult, if she had used the potion in the past then she should remember it. “Maybe the queen got my memories too.”

“It’s possible, right?” It wouldn’t be as if Regina would notice right away. If she couldn’t remember something, how would she know to try to remember it in the first place? It would be her knowing she once had that memory which would set the alarm bells ringing.

“I was being obtuse, dear.” Though…it could be plausible. Regina liked to believe she had simply forgotten, but her memory had served her well in the past.

Emma sighed at the tone, “Regina, I’m just trying to help.”

“Well don’t.”

The room fell back into silence. They continued to search with no results. Regina seemed content to keep looking without another word, but Emma never did like the silence when it was between them. She wanted to talk to Regina about what she had told her, but didn’t know how to bring the topic up without doing more harm than good. Not when she was uncertain of her own feelings and wanted to know what she wanted to do, before she brought it up to Regina.

Emma sat on the second to lowest step, one foot on the floor and the other on the step beneath. Her elbow rested on one knee as the book lay open in her palm. The other hand curled over the edge of the step. She bit her lip and looked up to where Regina had taken the bench. “I went to see Archie.”

Regina looked up, made eye contact then looked back down. “Good, that’s good. I hope he helps you.”

Emma stared at her and ached for what she could see crumbling. She took a breath and gave the rest of the book a skim read. There was nothing, so she pushed on the hand and heel which were on the step, altering her weight to the foot on the ground. Regina didn’t move at the sound and Emma placed the book back on the shelf then walked to the bench.

“I’m sorry.” Emma sat down next to Regina, who didn’t once look her way.

“You’ve said that already, dear.”

Emma nodded, “I know, but I am. It was why I went to see him. It was messed up what I did and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”

“I managed to find a way to put what happened between us behind me and when I told you why it had hurt so much, you went and kissed me, just to pull away again. It was cruel.” Regina had drunk so much after Emma had left, she’d passed out in bed and woke the next morning with a headache. She had avoided Emma for a few days and spent them instead with Henry and Maleficent. But she couldn’t leave Emma to fight these alone, no matter how much she hurt.

Emma fell back against the wall and banged her head with a thud. She did it again, because she could. “I’m an idiot,” she said and banged her head for the third time.

“Will you please stop doing that? Hurting yourself won’t solve anything.”

“I’m not-” her mouth slammed shut. _Shit._

Regina sighed, moved one hand to rest on the open page and looked Emma’s way. She remained slouched against the wall and looked to Regina with wide eyes. “I’m glad you’re seeing Archie, I want you to be okay. I want us to be okay, but I don’t know how much I can take.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want your apologies Emma. I want…” _you._

Regina moved her eyes away then slammed the book shut. It hadn’t contained anything useful anyway. She placed it down on the floor then crossed one leg over the other.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Emma almost reached out…almost, but moved her hands and tucked them between her knees. The last thing she would ever want was to lose Regina.

“What did you mean when you said he made you choose?” Regina wasn’t sure if she wanted to know. Not if it meant Emma had left him for her, but they still weren’t together and there was a chance they never would be. Although, she supposed whatever reason she had for leaving him was a good one.

“He asked me to choose between the two of you. Said if I was going to marry him I couldn’t see you anymore. I told him that I chose myself, because he wasn’t what I wanted, which is true. But…I would choose you over him in a heartbeat.” Emma had been truthful when she had said that to Hook. The last part was the truth too. There was no way she would have him in her life if it meant Regina had to be removed from it.

Regina nodded, jaw tight and looked down. “But you don’t want me?” she asked, voice small even for her. She had to ask, because things weren’t adding up. If she knew where she stood she could be patient or find a way to move on.

“I never said that.” Regina whipped her head around and Emma’s heart beat sped. She was the one to look away, not able to see any more pain in Regina’s eyes. It was more complicated than if Emma had feelings for Regina or not. In all honesty, she had no idea how she felt. Or wouldn’t allow herself to admit it, which seemed more to the point. There were issues interwoven with how she felt about Regina and she had not yet dealt with them.

Regina gave a chuckle directed at herself and Emma looked back up at the sound, wanting to ease some of her pain.

“All I know is I need you,” her voice trembled and came out hoarse, but she gave the tiniest of smiles in the hopes Regina would understand.

Those brown eyes diverted to look elsewhere as teeth bit down on her lip. They stared into nothing and Emma wanted to pull her back out of wherever she had just fallen into. She pushed from the wall and sat slouched, but didn’t dare close the distance, when she was reminded of something Henry had told her. It wasn’t the right time to ask, but she had needed to know since that night. “A few weeks ago, Henry said he heard you crying after one of our family meals. Was that because of me?”

“Don’t think so highly of yourself,” she spat out and Emma felt the blow. She hated herself in that moment for being so blind. Regina had been so determined in her belief that Emma could fight these visions, she had never stopped to think about why Regina cared so much. It was so obvious now.

“I don’t know how I feel,” she whispered then twisted so she faced Regina, “I don’t mean to hurt you, but my head’s all over the place.”

Regina swallowed then looked her way, “is there even a chance for us?”

It took everything within Emma not to break the eye contact. The automatic response told her to say no, but she knew she had to push past those barriers she was too scared to overcome. If she didn’t she would risk the chance forever. Her head was heavy, but with a trembling bottom lip she nodded it repeatedly. “Could you please be patient with me?”

It was Regina’s turn to nod, but not knowing what else to say, she picked up the book and walked back over to the bookcase. “We should keep looking. Oh, and the queen has agreed to meet with us tomorrow if you want to be there.”

Emma smiled at the invitation, “yeah, I’ll be there,” she said and Regina’s shoulders relaxed.


	17. Chapter 17

After endlessly attempting to get in contact, the queen had finally agreed to meet with them at Regina’s vault. They stood in the centre, not quite sure what to expect, when purple smoke appeared followed by the person they all stood waiting for.

“Well, this is a surprise.” She purred whilst eyes wandered over the group. First to Regina to her right, Maleficent, Lily then Emma. Neither of them flinched or said a word, though Lily had a been diverting her gaze back and forth between Regina and the queen.

“This is weird,” she muttered under her breath and Emma had bite down on a smirk. Maleficent rolled her eyes and took a step forwards, away from the group.

“I need your help.” Straight to the point. It was how she had always been, never having felt the need to loiter around a subject when it wouldn’t gather any results. The queen raked her eyes less than subtly over Maleficent’s pantsuit and lifted her brows by the time she had gotten back to those piercing eyes which stared back without so much as a blink.

The queen smirked, never content to stand in one spot for long. She pushed past Maleficent, made her way to Regina so they were almost nose to nose. Their eyes searched each other’s, “no accusations today, dear?” Regina glanced to Emma, they hadn’t much discussed how they would approach the queen regarding the visions, but the potion had yet to be discussed between the two of them since Emma had found it. Emma gave a small shake of her head and in that one action, Regina knew to keep what they had learned to themselves.

“Maleficent needs your help. We thought you might be willing to, considering it is her.” Regina didn’t look to Emma this time, though it wasn’t as if she were unaware of their past. Some things were better left unsaid, however.

The queen chuckled, “and why did you think that? Do I get anything out of this little exchange?” Turning, she walked straight to Emma and cocked a smile.

Emma regarded the queen and took a deep breath, with the thought of the potion in the back of her mind. The early interactions had been all wrong and they’d most certainly gone about it the wrong way. Emma knew she had at least. “You’re still Regina. Whatever past you both shared, that hasn’t changed. Would you at least hear us out?”

“I’m still Regina?” The queen was almost as shocked as Regina herself. A fist clenched by her side, but she didn’t comment on Emma’s word choice. This wasn’t the time to allude to any of that. “Is that why you were so intent on killing me? You care about her, we both know that, but you were oh so willing to get rid of me.”

“I’m an idiot. We’ve both established that in the past too.” Regina looked to Emma a tiny bit differently in that moment. It might have taken some time, but Emma had been the only person willing to accept this part of herself.

Maleficent huffed, no longer content to wait this out. “Are we going to get to the point?”

After a long moment where Emma and the queen stared each other down, did she turn to face her old friend. “What point would that be?”

Lily nudged Emma and raised both brows with a tipped head towards where Regina looked as if she were about to blow steam through her nose. Uncertain where the reaction had come from, Emma shuffled and squeezed her arm, “hey,” she whispered, so only they could hear.

“I need a portal. Specifically, I need a portal to help me get to Oz.”

“A portal? I might be good, but I’m not that good. You realise how difficult it was for me to get to this realm?” Part of their past and how Maleficent had still been there, trying to persuade Regina against making a mistake. They had become estranged by this point. Maleficent had gone back to her old ways, not as bad as when young Regina had found her, but she had isolated herself to that castle. It didn’t mean she no longer cared and had still tried to fight for her when no one ever had.

Regina looked to Emma and sighed, well aware her reactions were out of proportion. The reason stood directly in front of her and it made Regina’s jaw clench. She hated being wrong and knew, at some point, she would have to swallow her pride. “Zelena seems to think you have a way for them to get to Oz.”

The queen spun to face Regina, “them?”

“Well, me,” Lily said, talking to the queen for the first time, “we’ve found my father and well, we could use your kick as magic and-” she raked her eyes down her dress and back up, eyes hanging on the exposed cleavage for so long everyone noticed, “is it weird I find her hot?” she pulled her eyes away and looked to her mother.

“Yes,” Regina and Maleficent said at the same time, eyed each other then looked away.

“Thank you, dear. I do believe this outfit brings out my features quite nicely.” After she flashed her a suggestive smirk, which had Maleficent feeling sick to her stomach at the thought, did she spin back around to face her, “maybe you could learn from your daughter, pay me some compliments and I might be more inclined to help you.”

“Lily,” Emma hissed, part through jealousy, but she was also far from an idiot where certain topics were concerned, “that’s just gross. They-” she shook her head and let it drop as both Regina and Maleficent stared at her. They were getting off point and it wasn’t something anyone wanted to discuss.

“Can’t help who you’re attracted to,” Lily mumbled then spun to go and sit away from the rest of them. It was too hard trying to keep up when it had simply been Regina and Maleficent, too much time spent apart for her to be able to fit into the equation. She was content to sit in the background and let them do the talking.

Emma felt the statement, let it sink in then swallowed as the queen turned back around, one hand bunching the side of her black sparkling dress and tipped her head with a smirk. “Don’t pretend like you haven’t looked, my dear Em-ma.”

She tensed, felt Regina’s eyes directed at her and lowered her own. The queen let go of her dress and for a split second, the mask slipped as she saw the pain Emma had buried. Regina noticed the sudden shift, the way she stood without so much as another word which had the potential to push Emma into a stupor. “You can try to deny it, but your eyes dropped the moment I landed in this vault.”

Maleficent glanced in Regina’s direction and she shook her head to try and get her to wait. Patience wasn’t her strong suit, but Regina had found herself a little more than curious. There was never any problem pushing Emma in the past, but recently, she could hardly get two words out if it meant hurting Emma. Even if it was for her own good. She’d used the dagger in Camelot, for goodness sake, Regina wasn’t one to tread lightly over people’s feelings if it meant they’d be better for it.

Emma crossed her arms around the beige leather jacket she’d decided to wear. The items of clothing had been missed more than she had realised. Then each shoulder shrugged, her feet spread apart and her body tense. The last thing she needed was for this to be brought up in a room full of women who had no problem with their sexuality. “I shouldn’t…”

The queen sighed, “this land is ridiculous,” then spun back around to face Maleficent, “now, where were we?”

Emma wanted to sink into a hole in the ground. Her head remained bowed, even as Lily made her way back over to them. Regina frowned at the queen, but couldn’t ignore what she’d tried to do. The information digested slowly and she thought back to the queen’s attempts at tearing them apart. Which included exposing how Hook had killed David’s father. It was…odd; the actions could be seen to help Emma, no matter how twisted. It didn’t relate to why she would mess with Emma’s magic, however.

“I really want to say ‘I told you so’ right about now.” When Emma looked Lily’s way, she winked and it made her feel infinitely better. Not that she was ready to delve into any of that.

“Do you have a portal or not?” Maleficent had started to become agitated, not one for waiting. After a glance in her daughter’s direction, she sighed then looked directly into those brown eyes filled with the darkness not one person was supposed to consume. “Please,” she said, that one word sparking the queen’s attention, “this is for my child.”

“Perhaps I have one, perhaps I don’t, though I still do not see why I should help. None of you want me, let’s be honest about that and what would I get out of this?” It seemed a valid enough question, if she would help she should get something in return.

“I will remind you, I saw you at the height of darkness and this,” she squinted at the queen, not sure how to characterize what she saw between the two of them. Splitting remained a terrible way to handle this and Maleficent didn’t know Regina had wanted to be accepted into the Charming fold so badly, “you’ve received some of those pesky hero traits, otherwise all of your antics wouldn’t be smoke and mirrors.”

“Believe me, what I have planned is going to be far from smoke and mirrors.” She didn’t have to look at Emma for her to flinch. Maleficent did glance to her over the queen’s shoulder, still as confused as the rest of them. Far from being blinded, she wouldn’t know why the queen would use the potion either. It didn’t change from what she had said, because that had no lasting effects too.

“I don’t care much for your plans,” she said dryly, then sighed at herself, because Emma wasn’t to blame and Regina did care for her, along with her daughter, “tell me if you’re going to help me or not. I don’t like my time being wasted and by the way you are avoiding answering, I can tell you are considering it. Now make up your mind.”

The queen had forgotten what it had been like to be spoken to without a hint of trepidation. A grin appeared, “perhaps I am considering what I can get in return.” There wasn’t much Maleficent could give her, the plan in place should be enough. She wasn’t about to help someone with nothing in return and show _weakness._

“Nothing…” Regina’s voice wobbled as she took the few paces required to be by the queen’s side, “but we need you.” Her eyes shook in minuscule movements as their eyes connected. They needed the queen for more reason than one, but she wasn’t ready to delve into the other aspects.

“You need me until you’re done with me, does that cover it?” The mocking tone to her voice was obvious. One hand fell to her hip as she waited for the reaction. Regina looked over to Emma then back to the queen. She had wanted to wait, but the pain she now recognised urged her on. The entirety of her life had been filled with everyone doing just that.

“No,” she whispered then cleared her throat to stop the tremble in her voice, both hands clasped in front of her middle, “there might be a solution for us to merge back together.” The queen’s eyes widened and the entire room stilled. Even Emma hadn’t expected that. Regina expected backlash, but none came.

She was tired. Tired of feeling as if some part of her was missing, all the while knowing that part had been ripped away. The darkness had been hard to handle, to process and live through. For how many negative aspects those parts of her would bring, there were many she hadn’t foreseen which had been more than beneficial. She couldn’t help herself or her friend, she still didn’t want all of it back, but living without it was far worse. She saw it in Emma, how the saviour over road rational thought, to the point she needed darkness to balance herself out. “I no longer feel like myself.”

There was pain in the queen’s eyes, her face hardened. Both fist clenched by the side of the dress and her jaw clenched as those unmoving eyes locked with Regina’s. “You should of thought of that before you tried to throw me out like trash.” The smoke which surrounded the queen was black and she disappeared before Regina could say another word.

“Is this true?” Maleficent was next to her in a second, more than ready for the two of them to be back to the person she recognised.

“Yes. Emma found a potion which could see to it me and the queen become one.” Maleficent nodded and Regina found herself craving guidance like she had in her youth. What they once had was long gone, but what she had just said to the queen rung true. She had known her and although began to retreat as the darkness inside Regina had intensified, she hadn’t left. Not entirely. “Could we talk?”

“I’m all ears. If it will stop you doing something as dumb as rip a part of yourself off, then we can talk all night.” It wasn’t like she was making much progress where her child was concerned. They were bonding and it had been nice to get to know each other, but there remained a gap needing to be mended and a father needing to be found.

Regina turned to Emma, “could I catch up with you later?” She wasn’t done with her either, the earlier discomfort she had seen being stored and ready to be brought back out later for one of their chats. Emma nodded, both hands shoved inside the jacket pockets and found herself wanting to have some alone time to process.

“I guess I’ll see you later, mom,” Lily said, glanced at Emma, who nodded and said goodbye to Regina, before they both made their way out of the vault.

Once the other two had left, Regina made her way to the bench and sat with one leg over the other. Maleficent regarded her for a long moment, before she too walked over and perched on the bench.

“The potion has to be taken willingly by both of us.” They were cut throat and get straight to the point type of people. Regina didn’t realise how much she had missed her until that moment. She loved talking to Emma and even Snow; they were both able to push her in the right direction and tell it straight when she needed it. Maleficent was different, she didn’t cower away from the darkness and tell her to do the right thing. She had accepted those dark parts within herself, so when talking to Regina, she didn’t ignore those parts or act as if they were wrong.

“Are you willing to take it?

“If you would have asked me that thirty minutes ago, the answer would’ve been no.”

Maleficent considered that for a moment, “what changed?”

“I was wrong.” Regina swallowed and twisted her head to look at her old friend, the comfort and security washing over them like a warm blanket. Some would find it odd, that a dragon perceived as a villain would appear warm and a place where Regina felt safe.

Maleficent widened her eyes and chuckled, “could I have that in writing?” All she got in response was an eye roll.

“I thought there was good and there was bad,” she began, using each hand to gesture, “that I was supposed to be good and she was supposed to be bad.” It was supposed to be simple. Get rid of that part of herself and she should be deemed a hero. She would stop losing and finally be allowed to gain a happy ending.

“You’ve been spending far too much time with those Charmings. You of all people must know that’s not how it works.” Maleficent stayed away from them for a reason; she would much rather be called a villain, because at least she wasn’t blinded and hypocritical.

They’d taken the darkness out of their daughter and placed it into an unborn baby, because they had perceived a dragon to be less than human. They’d placed darkness in her daughter because she was inferior to them. They’d been doing it to be certain their daughter would be a hero and their intentions were seen as ‘good’ even if they’d caused another woman to lose her child. Yet they had kept their hero status and gotten their happily ever after whilst she had been left to suffer.

“Emma once told me that,” she said with a hint of affection to her voice.

“She did? I thought she would be the worse of them all, what with her being the saviour.” They’d interacted a little more recently and she was inclined to admit she could be wrong to an extent.

“It was when she had been the dark one.” Maleficent nodded; it sounded a lot more reasonable than expecting that from a woman who was intent on destroying herself to fit the role of hero. She’d heard as much from Lily. “She told me, there weren’t good or bad versions of ourselves. Then proceeded to slam the door in my face.”

“She sounds like she would’ve been a blast,” or a lot more fun than the current version of her appeared to be. Maleficent could imagine taking a dark one Emma out for drinks, “dark ones are always so broody and miserable.”

“Oh, believe me, she was. But not as bad as I once was.” They both shared a chuckle, because broody and miserable came hand and hand with the Evil Queen. To the point where the only smile she would crack was through other’s misfortune. “But,” she drew the word out and took a deep breath, glad Emma wasn’t around to gloat, “she was right. I thought, if I got rid of that part of myself, I’d-”

“Be accepted by them?” she had to ask, because after what they had gone through, it seemed like a huge transformation.

“Partly. I was in…a bad place.” No one else had seemed to have noticed. It had hurt beyond words, because a trip to the Underworld had happened when Emma had been suffering. Nothing had happened when she had. “I’d lost-”

“If you’re about to say that thief’s name, then don’t. You forget, I was here when you brought him back and you were miserable and if you dare tell me you loved him, then I believe that gives me the right to slap that self-loathing out of you.” Regina raised a brow and nodded with wide eyes, not having the faintest clue where that had come from.

“Erm…okay, but he was my soulmate, Mal.” The nickname made Maleficent snap her head to the side and chuckle incredulously. Everyone else could pretend that soulmates were something to be desired, but unlike those heroes, she had no problem telling it like it was.

“A predestined soulmate to take away your autonomy. That sounds desirable to you?”

“That’s not what…happened.” Had it?

Maleficent cupped her hands over the raised knee she’d flung over one leg. “You would’ve looked twice at him if it wasn’t for the tattoo?”

Regina frowned and tried to think about their initial meeting. It had been in…the enchanted forest and perhaps she hadn’t particularly cared for his company back then, but she’d just lost her son and wouldn’t care much for anyone’s company. Then he’d been in Storybrooke. She’d seen the tattoo and that was that.

“You forget, my dear friend,” Maleficent looked directly into Regina’s eyes, not sure what the fallout would be with her next words, but she would trample on her painful past if it meant it would help in the long run, “you used to crawl into my arms and whimper in your sleep the last time that’d happened.”

Regina went cold.

She stared straight ahead with hard eyes.

A hand began to rub circles over her lower back, because Maleficent hadn’t wanted to be cruel. She had wanted to tell that soulmate to shove it, when all he had seemed to do was bring Regina down. She was a queen and yet, she lowered herself to date a man who couldn’t even put her first.

“He was my last chance.” Each word had been forced through her tight throat. So what if her heart didn’t speed up at the thought of him or she hadn’t felt free like she once had with Daniel. He wasn’t a bad man, not by a long shot and maybe this vault was filled with reminders of when she had not wanted to turn him away.

“Like I said, self-loathing, dear. He was not your last chance, only your doubts tell you that to be true.”

Regina bowed her head and twiddled her fingers in her lap. “We’re getting off track,” she said, even if the mention of the queen could pull them right back here. Hadn’t it been losing him which had prompted her to rip herself in two?

“I do believe you were telling me why you would do such a thing. We didn’t get further than you being in a bad place and don’t tell me it was because of him and him alone. Even in your youth, there had been many factors at play which led to the queen’s creation.” Maleficent didn’t dare bring his name into the equation, not when she’d already brought up one ghost from Regina’s past.

With her head still bowed, Regina tried to form words and admit to what had been going through her mind. Yes, it had partly been because of him. “Whether he was right for me or not, losing him still hurt. But…it was always me who had to lose so completely.”

“What on earth is that supposed to mean?”

“We risked everything to get Hook back…for Emma.” Her bottom lip trembled, but she willed herself not to cry, “he was a villain, he tried to kill us all and he died, but still he was brought back to life. Emma…she…made another fucking dark one and she still got rewarded, we all helped her, but I was left to suffer. Again.”

“First of all, Regina, I feel like slapping you all over again. Did that saviour look happy to you? They’ve broken up and that pirate has sailed away, so he didn’t get his happy ending, did he? As to the dark one, I must admit…that’s…dark. I think that could top some of the things you did. But she’s a hero Regina and we all know no matter what they do, they’ll find a way to justify it. Now tell me why you split yourself in two?”

Regina looked back to her with eyes that glistened, “I didn’t want to hurt anymore.”

There was a smile and shake of her head, because it all seemed absurd now. “There was this urge in me to rip the world apart, to hurt everyone and everything that got in my way. But there’s all these people I care about and all I would’ve done is lost them and hurt even more. I thought if I got rid of those impulses then the hurt would go with it and I wouldn’t have to lose them.”

“You really have changed.” Maleficent turned to her and softened her voice in ways she would rarely do, “we all hurt, Regina and I am not one to judge on how a person deals with that. However, ripping out a part of yourself which makes you…you, wasn’t going to change that.”

“I know that now. I still…hurt, there are things she protected me from and I can see that pain in her. I was an idiot. Now, I have no idea how I’m supposed to get her to agree to take the potion.”

“You want my help?” Maleficent grabbed her hand and Regina nodded, grateful. “We’ll figure this out, Regina. I have no idea how, but we will.”

“Thank you.” Regina swallowed and looked away, not sure how any of them were supposed to handle the queen. She wasn’t about to forgive easily.

“It would help if we knew what she wanted. That way we could find something she would want more.” Maleficent remained as baffled as the rest of them. Perhaps what Regina had just told her, about Emma and the underworld, had the potential to play a part in the way the queen had reacted to her and the subsequent actions which followed.

“We still can’t figure out what she is doing. All we’ve managed to come up with is that she’s working with the hooded figure.” Other than that, they were at a loss. The hooded figure remained a mystery and Emma’s weakening magic along with it.

“Highly possible. Though, I must admit, she has me stumped.”

Regina chuckled, “me too,” and fell into Maleficent’s side with a sigh, content to let her fears wash away as an arm came up to wrap around her shoulders.

“You have an entire family around you now, I’m sure we can figure this out.” She tugged her arm a little tighter, surprised by the action, but they had a long history and if Regina needed a little comfort, she would willingly give it. “And in future, before you do anything as ridiculous as that, please come to me first so I can knock some sense into you.”

Regina smiled and nodded, grateful for a moment where she could relax.

***

Emma still shook as she went to answer the door. Already expecting it to be Regina, she didn’t bother to hide her current state. It wouldn’t do either of them any good.

“Hey,” she said on a deep breath as if it had been tremendous effort, “want to come in?” Emma turned and toppled to one side, a hand pressing against the wall to steady herself. Regina shut the door and wrapped both arms around her waist to stop Emma from falling.

“Are you okay?” Regina tugged on Emma from behind, until the back of Emma leant against the front of Regina, an arm out to the side where her palm lay flat against the wall. Her other hand came to her waist, where she placed it on top of Regina’s hand which was spread on her stomach.

“Had a vision,” she panted, the warmth from Regina calming her, “feel like jelly.”

“Come on.” Regina guided her to the couch, crease lines wrinkling her brow. Emma placed one hand on the couch to stop herself from falling over as Regina sat down and pulled Emma with her. “Lie down,” she soothed and patted her lap. Emma nodded, too tired to keep her eyes open anyway, kicked off her shoes then curled up, resting her head on Regina’s thighs.

“I’m scared,” she mumbled, socks brushing along the couch as she tucked her legs into her chest. One hand lightly gripped just above Regina’s knee next to her head, the other was bent into her chest. Both eyes closed as a blanket was chucked over her body and fingers ran through her hair.

“Shhh, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay.” Emma sighed as Regina used her other hand to rub over the top of Emma’s arm whilst she continued to massage her scalp. As she did, she emitted some gentle healing magic, she hoped would help. Regina was scared too. The visions seemed to be taking more and more out of Emma and they didn’t seem to be making any progress.

“Feels nice,” Emma muttered as her body responded to the magic. It felt as if her body was heating up as if she was lying in the sun. It was warm and stopped her muscles from aching, “have a good talk with Maleficent?”

“Yes. She’s going to help with the queen and I’m going to need all the help I can get to try and persuade her to drink the potion.” Already feeling better, Emma twisted so she lay on her back and pulled the blanket to her chin. She smiled up at Regina.

“You’re going to take it?” Emma had hoped she would come around. Regina nodded and continued to play with her hair. “What changed your mind?”

“It’s actually one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you. I noticed the queen…pushing you, which didn’t benefit her in the slightest.” Emma looked down then twisted again, so she lay back on her side, but faced Regina’s stomach. Both eyes closed and she used the blanket to gently rub over her nose. Regina’s heart melted at the sight. The heeling magic continued to pass through to Emma and soothe her all in one go.

“Emma, you don’t have to be ashamed of any parts of yourself. There’s nothing wrong with you.” Emma shrugged, but otherwise was more than happy to lay curled next to Regina. The last thing she had wanted to do was talk about it, because as soon as they did, she knew she would have to admit it whether she was ready or not. “It’s not like…I don’t know,” she said, voice a little thick.

“It’s not how it’s supposed to go. I shouldn’t want…”

When she didn’t continue, Regina took a breath, “you shouldn’t want to be with women?”

Each eye opened and Emma looked up at Regina with so much fear, “so many people say it’s wrong or that it’s not natural or it’s only real between a man and woman, but I…I can’t help how I feel.” The blanket scrunched beneath her palms and she looked away from Regina’s gaze, then whispered, “I’m gay.”

“Em-ma…that’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t listen to all those people who have no say in your life. You don’t know them and they don’t know you. They don’t matter, Emma, not a one of them, but you do. You matter and it’s okay. They’re wrong and there’s nothing wrong with you.” Regina wanted to pull Emma into her arms and hold her until those negative thoughts went away. Emma nodded tightly. At least it was a start.

“It didn’t feel wrong being with you.” Emma used the tip of a finger to draw patterns on Regina’s leg just in front of where her head lay. “That’s one of the reasons why I ran. It felt so real…it felt so _good_. I was scared.”

“The queen was right about one thing,” she said, because hearing that helped her understand a little better, “this land is ridiculous. We didn’t have labels in the enchanted forest. People were people. You were attracted to someone or you weren’t. You loved someone or you didn’t. There was a kingdom in the south to my, or your parent’s kingdom,” it didn’t matter much now, she supposed, “it was run by two queens. They invited the entire realm to their wedding and your parents were guest of honours. I…wasn’t invited, for obvious reasons.”

Emma chuckled and looked up to her with tears in both eyes. She smiled, however and began to laugh all over again. “I’m sorry, Regina, that’s really funny.” Regina rolled her eyes, already used to her child-like sense of humour. She was glad to see her smile, no matter the reason. “I have this image in my head of you being all moody and throwing a tantrum.”

“I may have…gone outside and set things on fire.” She widened her eyes at Emma, “it wasn’t as if anyone was around to stop me.” Emma’s shoulders shook with laughter and she sat upright, knees bent up, blanket draped over them and arms circled them, the effects from the vision all but gone.

Regina raised her brows and tipped her head towards her now cold legs, “I was enjoying that.”

Emma smiled shyly and twisted her head, “yeah?”

They both had been, it had been comforting and warm. Regina nodded, “yes.”

Emma spun her legs around so she could lean her back against the couch, falling into Regina’s side as she lifted an arm. With the blanket still wrapped around her, she snuggled into Regina and closed her eyes. “I don’t know what I’m ready for.”

“I’ll be here.” Regina held her closely and tipped her head to rest it against Emma’s, hair tickling her cheek.

She would wait forever.

“Did my parents really go to their wedding?” Regina had been one thing, but coming out to her parents would be something else entirely. It wasn’t as if she could deny this didn’t feel incredible and she wanted to be able to fall into Regina’s arms whenever she liked. Which would be often and whenever Regina would be willing to hold her.

“Of course, they even threw a party one year for their anniversary.” Regina tensed a little at the memory, forced to watch it threw her mirror, pretending she didn’t want to be included. Emma didn’t comment this time, aware what it felt to be on the outside. “They’ll accept you, Emma, I promise.”


	18. Chapter 18

Emma stalked around the vault, grateful Regina had left the enchantment on the bookshelves. It was fascinating and the darker nature within scanned them with her eyes and wanted to read them all. The more she could, the more power she would possess and a smirk spread at the thought. Regina wouldn’t notice if a few books went missing on occasion and Emma would have access to them all.

She paced around the room as if commanding an audience, the air shifting to suit her whims. Each eye closed and she took in one deep breath to get a feel for the magic. Her fingers twiddled the air and another smirk appeared. The spell would be easy to replicate in the future.

Before she could continue on with her search, footsteps sounded in the distance. She waved a hand over her clothes to appear in the classic red leather jacket and jeans she hadn’t worn in far too long. Emma spun and smiled as Regina entered the vault.

“Emma?” Regina had thought they were meeting later that day, not that she was complaining. “I thought you were supposed to be at work.”

“Change of plans.” A plan had already formed and she took deep breaths to keep her eyes neutral, slumping her shoulders and she brought a bucket load of self-doubts into her mind. It prevented the confidence Emma had been lacking from suddenly appearing without preamble. “I thought I could find a book on reversing spells, wounds, anything which could help during the fight.”

That way, if they were to surprise her and throw something unexpected her way, she could defend herself and send it right back.

“You think you could reverse the stab wound and have it turn on the hooded figure?” Regina was impressed, even she hadn’t thought of that. She tipped her head and smiled.

“I’ll never know what I have to prepare for.” She spun and trailed her fingers over the books as Regina did the same. She didn’t allow them to get too close and as Regina pulled a book from the shelf, Emma was quick to grab it out of her hands. “Ahh, this will do nicely.”

Emma smiled in a way which sent a shiver down her spine. Then she went to wave a hand, paused and thought better of it. With a quick goodbye, she exited the vault before Regina could say anything more.

“She's such an idiot,” she mumbled and put it to the back of her mind, because that _was_ a good idea.

On a sigh, she went back to the books and commenced on what she had originally planned to do.

***

Emma walked into the station with a box of doughnuts and a tray of coffee on her way back to work. Placing it on the desk, she leant against it and looked down to her father. “You’re worse than me. Regina’s is going to have a fit if these reports are late again.” Not that any of them much cared for reports at the moment, but some normalcy felt good.

David took a doughnut and offered his daughter a grateful smile. “How is it going with Regina, anyway?” He had wanted to ask for a while, but hadn’t seen much of Emma since she’d ended things with Hook.

Emma groaned and pulled herself so she was seated on the desk, legs dangling off the edge. “We’re not getting anywhere. It felt like we had finally made some progress with the potion Maleficent mentioned, but we’ve found nothing since. I keep feeling like we’re going to run out of time.”

“If I know anything, Regina isn’t going to let you go without a fight.” Emma looked away, knowing how true that statement was. She hadn’t realised how obvious it appeared to be for everyone else. “You look…good, Emma. Better.”

David had been blinded too. Caught in ideals which saw to it he hadn’t noticed when his own daughter had changed so drastically. He was glad to note the red leather jacket with had made a sudden appearance, however. Emma grimaced, because these visions had been knocking it out of her and she did feel a little better in herself, for all the good that would do, if they failed to stop the hooded figure.

“I feel it,” she whispered, debating whether to share any further. He was her father and although he had grown fonder of that pirate than she ever had, he hadn’t meant harm. “I’ve started seeing Archie again.”

“That’s great, Emma. I just want you to be happy. Me and your mother. I know we might not always go about it the right way, but if he’s helping you, then I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks, dad.” Emma jumped off the desk and grabbed herself a doughnut. On a sigh, she pulled a seat up next to her father and ate the sugary treat, licked each finger in turn then looked to him. “Can I tell you something?”

Her heart pounded and she swallowed as little trembles moved through her body. It had been hard enough to tell Regina and they’d slept together. David smiled warmly and Emma’s shoulders relaxed.

“Anything,” he said and wanted to pull his far too grown up daughter into a hug.

Eyes diverted to the ground. She tried to think of the right words to say, not able to form one in her mind. Still uncomfortable with some words which could be used to describe herself; they were already off the table, considering she couldn’t say them out loud when it had been only herself in the room. Both hands pressed flat together where she slipped them between her knees. “I like women.”

David frowned not understanding what Emma had meant. She continued to look down and felt the tears well, because no matter how many times she had said this to herself, the act of sharing it with another person remained terrifying. She had clasped her hands because they wouldn’t stop shaking.

“Emma, I don’t…” he paused, placed a hand on his daughter’s shoulder and waited for her to lift her head, “you mean, like…like women?”

Emma nodded then looked back down.

“Is there someone in particular?” He didn’t understand why she looked so scared, apart from one very persistent thought. Emma shook her head. There was, but she wasn’t ready to admit to it. “Emma, I love you. Is something the matter?”

With her head still lowered, she raised her eyes to look at him, “you’re okay with it?”

“Of course.” He frowned in genuine confusion, still at a loss for this worlds absurdity’s. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You know I mean, exclusively, right?” Emma slowly uncurled herself, the hardest part over. Already she felt a weight lifted off her shoulders. The was a small quiver of her bottom lip, but after one shuddered breath she calmed.

“Then why in the world did you date that moron for so long?” Emma chuckled and shook her head, fell back into her chair with a sigh.

“How long have you got?”

“For you? Hmm…I suppose I could spare twenty minutes.” He winked and Emma shook her head, back to normal. It felt good. More than good and she jumped up out of the seat with new purpose. David was up in a heart beat and pulled her in for the hug he had wanted to give his daughter since he had seen the tears gleam.

She leant into the bear hug from her father and closed her eyes. “Will mom be okay with it?”

He pulled back and grasped her shoulder, “of course, you have nothing to worry about.”

“Will you keep it between us, for now?”

David sighed, “if that’s what you want.”

She nodded, “I’ve got to go, anyway, I said I’d meet Regina after work.”

***

After they’d eaten, the four of them made their way into the next room to watch a movie. It had been Henry’s idea and by what Regina had told Emma, she could understand why he had suggested it. A big bowl of popcorn sat on the table in between the couch and the tv, the couch Henry and Violet occupied was to the right.

“They’re so sweet,” Emma whispered and smiled at the two of them.

The room was dark and the tv blasted which meant only Regina could hear Emma. She nodded in response, leant over to grab a handful of popcorn, which was promptly taken by a certain blonde. Shovelling a handful into her mouth, Emma shrugged and smiled at Regina. Brown eyes rolled, but she was so glad Emma was being…Emma.

“Is it okay if I…?” Her eyes trailed from the couch where Henry and Violet sat cuddled under a blanket and Regina looked to her with eyes so soft it had Emma’s heart skip a beat. An arm lifted, so Emma shuffled and snuggled into Regina’s side.

As she did, her hand began to shake, but she wouldn’t let it ruin how good this moment felt. Regina noticed in an instant and grabbed onto the hand which shook, the other going straight to Emma’s head where she brushed down her hair.

“You’re okay,” she whispered.

Emma had squeezed her eyes shut and let the vision take its course. After it had, each arm felt heavy and she panted, trying her best to keep her breaths down. Henry and Violet’s eyes had been glued to the screen the entire time and she found herself grateful she’d spent so much time hiding it.

Regina twisted her head to look into her eyes, brows creasing as she noticed that they drooped. Emma’s body shook as she pulled herself closer, laying her head down on Regina’s lap. Instantly, those fingers along with a gentle stream of magic, ran through her hair. Two pairs of eyes swung their way, but neither of them commented, simply believing they were snuggling up as they watched the movie.

The magic helped, but not as much as the first time. Emma curled up on herself, each muscle quivering and her teeth chattered. There was a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, but she squeezed her eyes shut and hoped it would pass.

“Henry,” Regina whispered, “would you mind grabbing the spare blanket?” One proper look to his mother and he was up and back with the blanket. Regina threw it over her, whilst Emma groaned and placed a hand on her stomach.

“Feel sick,” she mumbled and this time Henry ran into the kitchen and brought the bucket from the sink back with him.

“Is everything okay?” Violet asked, eyes moving between Henry and Regina.

“Mom?” Henry placed the bucket on the ground near his mother. One of his hands squeezed her shoulder to let her know he was here, that she had to fight.

“Am’kay.” Her toes curled and both hands fisted, but every few seconds the pain would ease from the magic being filtered through her system.

“She’ll be okay,” Regina said, trying to reassure them all.

Emma felt terrible. Not only was she dry heaving and every muscle ached, she had spoilt the evening. With the way things were going, she wasn’t sure if she was going to have many left. “Sorry,” she said, but her voice was so strained all anyone else heard was a groan.

“Why don’t you go and show Violet some of your comics?” Henry bit his lip and kept his gaze on his mother. “Emma is going to be fine. I’m healing her with my magic as we speak.”

He nodded his head, “okay,” then turned to Violet with a small smile. He wanted to stay, but he also knew both of his mothers and their incessant need to keep anything they perceived as weakness, away from his eyes.

The moment they were out of the room, Emma curled over the edge of the couch and spewed her guts up into the bucket.

“Shhh,” Regina pulled Emma’s hair back as she heaved and coughed, the other arm wrapped around her waist to stop her from toppling over. She handed over some tissue for Emma to wipe her mouth with when she had stopped. Emma took it and lay back down. A sob followed.

“I’m going to die.” Another sob whilst she dabbed the tissue around her mouth. Regina reached over to the table and picked up an empty glass, one wave of her hand seeing to it, it filled with water. Emma took the offered drink and sipped through the straw.

“I’m not going to let that happen.” There wasn’t a chance she would go down without a fight.

The magic continued to slowly pulse through her finger tips and into Emma’s body. She placed the glass on the floor then let herself close her eyes and feel for the magic. Her body finally started to respond. After she felt confident enough she wouldn’t fall if she moved, Emma sat up, twisted the blanket then pulled herself backwards so she sat on Regina’s lap.

For a moment, Regina was stunned. The next, both of her arms wrapped themselves around Emma who buried her face in Regina’s neck.

“We’re going to fight this.” Emma nodded and Regina held on tighter, one hand going back to her head where she continued to pulse the magic.

“I finally feel better and I’m going to die anyway.” Regina held her closer, not sure what else to say. She waved a hand over the floor, which saw to it the mess Emma had made, vanished.

Emma curled herself into Regina’s chest, almost like an infant.

“I’ve got you,” she whispered and held onto Emma with everything she had, a new flare of determination to stop these visions form becoming a reality springing to life.

They’d come too far. She wasn’t about to lose Emma now.


	19. Chapter 19

“Drink up-” Regina handed over the potion to a sceptical looking Emma, who took it after Regina raised a brow. She hadn’t just spent hours making it for Emma to turn it down. It might not have been the exact thing they had been looking for, but it should work. To an extent.

Emma eyed the vial and lifted it closer to her eyes as if that would help with the inspection, “will it really work?” It was a dark shade of green and looked like gunk. If there wasn’t certainty, Emma didn’t want to find out how it tasted.

“It won’t counteract the queen’s potion. But…it should give you a little boost and make it easier for you to access your magic.” In the short term. Regina wasn’t about to let Emma know it would have to be taken again in a matter of weeks if they weren’t to make any more progress. The way Emma had scrunched up her nose told her she might not take it in the immediate. “Oh, come on, Miss Swan, hold your nose and stop acting like a child.”

“It is going to taste bad?” Emma didn’t know if it was worth it. A few seconds of a vial taste, compared to no magic, which, she sighed, then pinched the bridge of her nose. “If this taste disgusting-”

Regina wafted her hand then revealed what lay in her palm, “then you’ll have a bear claw as soon as you’ve taken it.” If it took matching Emma’s childlike behaviour, with childlike rewards, then she would.

“You really know how to sway me.” The palm of her fingers increased the pressure over her nose. With the edges of the vial at her lips, she scrunched both eyes and chucked her head back. The liquid was thick and the taste made her want to spit it back out. It stayed in her mouth for longer than she would’ve liked, conflicting instincts at war. She swallowed…hard and felt the thick liquid travel down her throat.

“There. Not so bad.” Emma’s face was scrunched and she had already gagged once. Not that Regina was going to admit that she might have bended the truth when Emma had first asked about the taste. Emma swallowed once more to push it right down her throat.

“Oh god…water.” Regina waved a hand and passed her the glass. Emma chugged it down in under three seconds, placed it down then grabbed the bear claw. One large bite saw to it the muscles in her face relaxed, “hmm, much better.”

“Why don’t we-”

Green smoked intruded into the vault.

Regina and Emma turned to face it. Then twisted their heads to face each other as Zelena and the queen stared back at them.

Zelena brushed down her dress, “next time,” she said with wide eyes directed at Regina, “leave me out of it.”

The queen huffed and put both hands on her hips, eyes darting around the vault and expression relaxing in an instant. “I would’ve appreciated if you’d have informed me of your plan to teleport.”

“What are you both doing here?” Regina followed the queen, who very slowly made her way around the vault, trailing her finger tips over the various items. She couldn’t very well tell her not to touch and for each second the queen remained in the vault, she breathed a little easier. Regina supposed she would miss the safe haven it provided if she were to ever be away from it, too.

“You told your evil half I suggested she have a portal. I mean, you really thought she wasn’t going to lecture me?” Zelena couldn’t really be pissed. Except she could. After being kind enough to inform them where they could get a portal, they had to blab. Both eyes rolled at the never-ending loop, because if she hadn’t told them in the first place… “I’m waiting for an apology.”

“You’ll be waiting a long time.” Regina walked over and snatched the empty vial out of the queen’s possession. Too much time spent around it and she would figure it out in an instant. The residual of their magic was the same, after all. “A little warning would’ve been nice.”

Emma crossed her arms and took a step backwards, relieved she didn’t have to test out the potion. More than happy to be background noise to the three of them combined, she moved away and sat on the bench. Regina and the queen noticed, neither of them saying a word, whilst Zelena remained oblivious and still feeling her blood boil from the queen’s earlier rant.

“A little warning you had informed my other dear sister what I had told you. Didn’t anyone ever tell you sharing secrets is impolite?” If their mother was anything to go by, then Regina should know to keep information to herself.

Regina crossed her arms and sighed, “it wasn’t a secret. If you hadn’t trapped Lily’s father in Oz in the first-”

Zelena flung her hands up, “how was I supposed to know who he was? He got in my way and having that type of power was too much of an opportunity to be missed.”

Whilst the two of them continued to bicker over absolutely nothing, the queen silently stalked over to Emma and sat down beside her. They eyed each other, not wanting to be the first to speak. The queen squinted and Emma took a moment to breathe her in.

The queen sat with her back straight, one leg over the other and palms pressed into the bench, fingers curled over the edge. Emma didn’t take her eyes off her. There was no fear, perhaps frustration over the impending vision and the queen’s part, but the negative feelings had evaporated. “They’ll be at this for hours.”

Emma hummed in agreement; what started off as a little bicker was slowly escalating into past territory. They’d get over it, they always did, but best to stay out of it when the two of them would argue. “Do you really have a portal?” The queen would be wasting all their time if it turned out she never had one to begin with.

“Perhaps. I’m still unsure why I should offer one up if I were to possess it.” The queen had yet to look in Emma’s direction, though her entire demeanour had altered since their last interaction. Emma couldn’t stop staring, no matter how much she tried to pull her eyes away.

“Do you plan on using it?” It’d crossed Emma’s mind, but she’d not had much chance to discuss it with Regina. After her talk with Maleficent, they hadn’t discussed the queen at all. Returning Emma’s magic was more of a priority in the immediate.

“Perhaps.” It was all she would offer up on the matter. Explain her plans and they would switch right back to offense where she was concerned.

“Am I going to get any real answers out of you?” Emma did wonder what she had done to earn this level of conversation. Not used to any moment the queen wasn’t hostile, she found it more refreshing than she would’ve realised.

The queen chuckled. It was small and masked quickly, but the moment Emma heard the sound, her chest exploded. For the first time, the queen looked her way with eyes which looked so much like ones Emma had first encountered. Guarded, terrified almost, but wanting. “No, I suppose you’re not.”

“Figures-” Emma’s eyebrows shot up and the action prompted the smirk all over again, “this reminds me of Neverland.”

“Neverland? How so, dear?” The queen did not see where that had come from, though there was a sigh at the recognition that whatever Regina had experienced, the queen had too.

Emma sighed, not sure how to phrase this. It could result in a very angry queen or one who could understand how much they had changed. What it had taken to get there. “We weren’t exactly…friends or enemies. I think we’d reached a point where we didn’t hate each other, but we didn’t know how to navigate one another. Feels like that.”

“Who said I don’t hate you?” It was said with so little malice, along with the way the queen looked to her, exactly like Regina had all that time ago in this exact vault. After Emma had told her she wanted to be friends. Called her special. Emma didn’t believe the queen hated her. It still confused her, because she must be helping whoever was under the hood. “And you tried to kill me, I believe that qualifies as hate.”

The queen moved her head back, scanned her eyes over her other half and sister as they continued to bicker. It had reached the point of absurdity, but it was easy to block out.

“I apologised to Regina for that, but I guess I owe you one too. I don’t really know what I was thinking, if I’m being honest.”

“I don’t want an apology.” It was nice, though, to be remembered.

“Then what do you want? What do you have to gain through any of this?” It remained the one thing neither of them could figure out. With Emma gone, it wouldn’t change the queen’s predicament.

The queen scoffed, “going to try and stop me?” Emma didn’t reply. She wasn’t much capable of anything at the moment. The queen leant against the wall and sighed. “How’s Henry?”

The question caught Emma off guard. Part of her felt the need to protect their son, until she realised he was her world. Emma twisted completely and smiled, “he’s doing good. Catching up with school, they think he should graduate on time if he keeps this pace up.” The trip to Camelot and the underworld saw to it Henry had missed a lot, but with the help of his mother’s, he had been slowly making progress. “Him and Violet spend a lot of time together, I think he’s really happy with her.”

The queen smiled, still leant back against the wall. Her head fell towards Emma, “he’s happy here?” The only person who had the ability to interrupt the queen’s plans was their son. No matter what she wanted, he would come first…almost. The niggling in the back of the queen’s mind reminded her that Henry needed both parts of his mother.

“He’s doing the best he can, making the best out of the situation. If his family have taught him anything, it’s to have hope. His doesn’t squash very easily.” Emma had noticed on occasion the way Henry would hug her a little tighter when she would visit the mansion. It was a lot these days. The family meals had turned into a multiple times a week occurrence. Or the way he would remind his other mother how much he loved all of her.

The queen’s eyes diverted down as she thought. As much as it pained her, Henry needed Emma too. That left her in a position she did not want to be in. His wants above hers. She had it all planned in her head. Then Regina had to go and introduce the idea of that potion. She laid her head back down. More than one thing to think about in the coming days.

“Don’t get started on that little sis. If you think I’m not pissed beyond belief, then you have another thing coming.” Regina and Zelena alternated between being nose to nose and throwing things and themselves around. From a distance, it was amusing to watch. “I defended you and you had to go and throw it back in my face.”

Both of Regina’s hands clenched into fists. They ended up stood near the stack of glowing hearts. Regina had thought about returning them, but didn’t very much know where to start. “It was _your_ fault,” she spat, lifting a finger to point in her direction, “you trusted him. You brought him here. It. Was. Your. Fault.”

Zelena rolled her eyes and shook her head. How many times had they been over this? “I didn’t know what he was going to do, did I? You seemed to do a great job at shifting the entire blame to me when the only reason you went to the underworld was because of Emma and your stupid crush.”

Emma flinched, wanting nothing more than to have her magic at its full capacity so she could poof out of the vault. The queen shifted her weight to one side, almost leaning into Emma, “Zelena has a point,” she whispered, with a layer of seduction in her tone. The queen enjoyed toying with Emma, like those days when she had first come to town.

There was a little smirk as Emma rolled her eyes. The queen or anyone else, for that matter, wasn’t to know. Emma faced the queen once more, already becoming more comfortable with who she was. She shrugged, “we slept together. It’s hardly news.”

Emma enjoyed the look on the queen’s face. It was almost comical. Until her eyes drifted and Emma frowned. “Are you…together?”

“No.” Emma didn’t understand what had just occurred in the queen’s mind. They were getting there…slowly, but until Emma knew she was going to live to be around for this relationship, she wasn’t going to start it. “It happened when I was still with…him. I ran out on her, we fought for a while then I left him, we got to a better place. I know y-…she has feelings for me, but there’s too much going on right now.”

The queen’s eyes lifted. They were hardened and glistening and stared directly at Emma. It made Emma ache, unable to reach in and pull whatever thoughts were occurring out of her mind. Green eyes stared intently back, “what’s wrong, Regina?”

The queen didn’t reply, the name made her balk. She fell back against the wall and thought back to how her perfect plan was turning into such a mess. Not that she was ready to admit that. “Do you want to be with…her?” _With me._

Emma didn’t answer that, unable to when her own mind was a mess. She mimicked the queen’s potion by falling back against the wall on a sigh. “I don’t know what I want.”

They sat in relative silence again. The queen thought about the potion even more. It wasn’t that all of this hadn’t occurred to her, but there had been no other option at the time. She would’ve been happy to have everyone out of her way so she could be with her son.

“Hades would’ve stayed firmly in the underworld whether I went there or not!” Regina glanced to Emma, frowned at the pair then brought her attention back to her petulant sister. “You brought him back Zelena and you’re the reason why Robin’s dead.”

“Oh?” Zelena placed a hand over her chest as if caught by surprise, “I didn’t realise I was the one to plunge that thing into his heart. Though I do remember very specifically plunging it into the heart of my true love to protect you!” She flung both hands into the air as Regina took a step backwards.

“I…”

“What? No snarky reply? You now remember that I killed him to protect you. If I would’ve known I couldn’t trust him, do you think I wouldn’t brought him here? Let him anywhere near my daughter? You’re full of it Regina, because you want to place the blame where it’s easy. How about this? Emma was the one to turn Hook into a dark one, with absolutely no consequences shall I add. Then, that stinking pirate tried to kill you all. Then,” she said, drawing out the word, “you were all too afraid of hurting the poor saviour’s feelings, that you all descended on a mission to hell to save the man who tried to send you all there. If anyone’s to blame. It’s her-” Zelena’s arm lifted to the side to point at where Emma sat, mouth closed.

Emma shrunk.

Regina turned to face Emma and connecting their eyes, “I don’t blame Emma.” More like the man who had got inside of her head and made her believe she couldn’t live without him.

Zelena scoffed, “of course you won’t.”

“If anything,” Regina said, smiled softly at Emma then turned back to her sister, “you’re right.”

“Come again?” Zelena didn’t know where that shift had come from.

Regina’s gaze flickered to Emma. Her chest quivered and she swallowed, “I should have said no,” Regina crossed her arms loosely and bowed her head. She had seen it, the differences in Emma, the way the smile was so fake it reminded her of her own. The queen looked to Regina and felt it too, “but I feared I would lose her.”

Emma took a shuddered breath, “Regina-”

The queen was the one to stop her, place a hand on her thigh and squeeze. She’d almost forgotten how much Emma meant to her, how much she wanted her. The hate she had for herself flared, because she remained resolute, unable to forgive or feel like she would be enough.

“I’m sorry,” Regina said to her sister, “I know what you did for me, I shouldn’t have blamed you.” At the reduced to a degree. Some things were much clearer.

She wasn’t even sure she had ever wanted him. Their Storybrooke meet had prompted some feelings, more honeymoon type feelings than real ones. They’d spent a small amount of time around each other and Regina had felt _wanted._ It had been nice, until everything had turned into a mess and they were together just…because.

“Wow, well, I hadn’t been expecting that.” Zelena considered it for a moment. The last thing she wanted was to lose her sister if she couldn’t swallow her pride too, “I suppose I can forgive you. It was stupid we were fighting over a man anyway, seems beneath us.”

Regina nodded with a small smile. There was no way she was about to admit she was right…twice. It should be beneath her, to see that Hades was the one to blame and her fighting with her sister over it was ridiculous.

Emma hadn’t paid much attention to that. Completely lost in thought and unable to comprehend why the queen still had a hand on her leg. It felt good, but that was all kinds of complicated. “Why would you say no?”

Regina swung her attention to Emma. A little surprised to see the hand which hadn’t moved from her thigh. Unsure what to make of it, she glared at the queen until it was removed. Here she was working with whomever was under the hood, whilst Emma let her close. The queen growled right back and stood up.

“He wasn’t…the best for you. I should’ve told you that I saw you were unhappy a lot sooner, but I thought it would push you closer to him.” There was a lot more, but Regina didn’t feel like exposing it to Emma right now. “I went for you, that doesn’t change.”

Emma digested the information. She was going to need many more sessions with Archie at this rate. They’d hardly discussed Hook, but bits and pieces had come up. There was a lot of uncertainty where he was concerned, because admitting to one thing meant admitting to another. She refused to believe she hadn’t been aware of his every action, instead blinded by what he had done. That one of the reasons she felt lost, was due to him. “I get it.”

Now that was all well and good, the queen stalked closer to Regina. “You just lost your portal.”

“Oh, for goodness sake, what did I do now?” Regina needed a long break when this was all over. She would grab Emma and Henry and whisk them away to some place where they could simply relax without having to deal with complicated.

“Seriously?” Emma stood and walked over to them, “you wouldn’t give me a straight answer, but you’re willing to admit you have one to Regina?”

The queen rolled her eyes at herself, unaware what she had done. “Are you not going to protect her from me now?”

Regina shook her head and chuckled, “oh, this is good.”

Emma spun her head between the two of them thinking they had gone mad. Had she missed something? Zelena lifted her shoulders as she glanced her way.

“You don’t want me anywhere near her, do you? You say you have this magic potion, but you don’t actually want me.” It more than appeared that way. All she had done was give Emma a reassuring squeeze. Considering she’d talked to her like a person, it was something she could do in return.

“Wait…you’re fighting over me?” Emma closed her eyes and placed her palm to her forehead. If they weren’t more confusing by the second.

“This isn’t about you, Emma,” Regina said then looked to the queen with wide eyes, “this is about her wanting what’s mine.”

The queen felt that stab. No, it hadn’t just been about Emma, she had been kept from their son too. If they believed for a second she would hurt him. She went to open her mouth, when Emma felt something crawling inside her veins. “We’re not even dating, Regina, what the hell?!”

“Dating?” Zelena was curious about that, but the three of them blocked her out.

“I know,” she said and faced Emma, “that’s not what I-”

“You know what, even if we were, that wouldn’t make me a fucking possession. I’m me. I’m my own person and I’m not putting myself through that again.” Both arms flung into the air then slapped by her sides. It had felt good to say that, but now it had she only wished she could take it back. Chest heaving, she spun and ran out of the vault.

“Stay here,” she said to both the queen and her sister, then followed Emma.

“Did you know about them?” Zelena asked, moving towards the queen, one hand on her hip, the other wafting around as if she were bored.

“Apparently they had sex. After I was cast out, of course.” It had been eating at the queen the moment she had found out. For whatever Emma would say, it had still stung.

Zelena smirked and rolled her eyes at them, “they’re complete fools. They’ve been in love for forever,” she said without a thought to who she was talking to. When the queen squinted her eyes, Zelena shrugged, “oops, but you can’t deny it.”

“I’m not confirming or denying a thing. I find her attractive, that’s all.” And she continued to help in Emma’s demise. Perhaps Regina got the brunt of the feelings. Or her blackened heart blocked them out. She couldn’t tell which excuse she preferred.

“Whatever. Anyway, are you going to give them the portal or not?”

Whilst Zelena talked to the queen, Regina ran out of the vault and onto the field. She caught up to Emma, grabbed her arm and had her spin on the spot.

“Emma-” her chest heaved a little, “I didn’t mean it like that. I got possessive and jealous of the queen, I’m sorry. Don’t ever feel like I would treat you that way.”

Emma crossed her arms and regarded Regina. She wished she could take it back, bury the pain somewhere she didn’t have to access it, “he treated me like that.”

Regina squeezed her upper arm, “I’m sorry I said those things.” More than sorry for hurting Emma, she would say it again if she had to, “but I’m glad they made you realise that or admit it. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. I didn’t mean it that way, I got pissed that she’s helping the hooded figure and the next thing I know you were sat next to each other.”

“I just-” she sighed, because she could see Regina’s point, “I figured if we treated her like she was wanted, she might want to take the potion. If we keep pushing her away, then why would she?” Emma wasn’t sure what the queen had been hinting at. Asking questions about Henry and her and Regina’s relationship. It could mean nothing or it could mean everything.

Regina gave it some thought. Emma had been the only person not to shove her away after the curse had been broken. Emma had invited her to the party and given her a chance. It was still complicated and messy, but… “perhaps you’re right.”

“Twice in one day?” Regina gave Emma a little smile and it made Emma feel better in an instant. “Can I have a hug?”

They’d been getting closer physically recently. Little touches on arms and legs, snuggling on the couch when they’d sit and talk or watch movies. It was nice and Emma wanted that warmth now.

“Come here-” Regina opened her arms then stepped closer, engulfing Emma tightly to her chest, “always.”

Emma closed her eyes, arms snug around Regina’s waist and leant her head on Regina’s shoulder. She was pulled closer in response and held. Both of their breathing slowed and they calmed.

“You always feel so good,” Emma said, not yet wanting to move. She put the issue to the back of her mind for the time being and decided it best to bring it back up to Archie. Not that she wanted to delve into what any of it would mean, but she had to.

“As do you,” Regina whispered and twisted her head to lay it on top of Emma’s. It was nice to hold Emma, more than nice, she just hoped this would become a regular occurrence. “Come on-” she pulled back and rubbed her palms down Emma’s arms in quick concession before letting go completely, “better go check those two haven’t blown something up.”

By the time they walked back into the vault, they were greeted by Zelena, “she’s gone.”

Regina groaned in frustration and wiped a hand down her face. For once, she just wanted to feel as if they could win something.


	20. Chapter 20

“How have you been, Emma?” Archie asked, smiled brightly and sat comfortably in his chair.

“Okay.” She rubbed both palms together from where she was sat opposite, back straight against the back of the couch. Their last few sessions had gone as well as could be expected. Emma had come out to him and they’d both reached the conclusion that Emma had stayed with Hook for so long to hide this. It would feel the same with any man, she had surmised. “I’m a little scared, actually.”

They’d spoken briefly about her parents too. The curse, the wardrobe and the feelings Emma had denied were still there. There was no part of her ready to speak to her parents over these feelings, as Archie had suggested, but she had gotten into a brief argument with Regina. Putting the blame on her was easy, it had meant she could pretend there was no resentment left.

It had ended in Regina pulling her in for a tight hug and Emma was sure she had caught a _‘sorry.’_ Emma was certain she had made it up. It wasn’t as if she had been searching for an apology. More an outlet when she wasn’t ready to confront her parents. It would be possible they would have to talk more about this in the future, because there lay blame at Regina’s feet, too, but those undealt with feelings she had harboured belonged to her parents and her parents alone.

The queen hadn’t known of her existence when she had cast the curse. Her parents had already planned to ship her away to save the realm, without giving a single thought to Emma’s well-being. Faith might have been enough in their realm. It certainly wasn’t in this one. Either way, when it was the three of them; Regina, Emma and Henry, any bad feelings faded to nothing.

“Scared?”

Emma took a deep breath. This was one of the things they hadn’t discussed. Each day she continued to weaken and each time she would see the hooded figure, it would remind her of the mortality she felt slipping away. “Of…the visions. I’m having multiple a day and they make me feel terrible. I can’t help thinking...”

“You can’t help thinking?”

Emma looked down at her lap, “I keep thinking it’s going to come true soon,” she whispered, “the worse they get the closer it seems to feel. Regina made this potion which should help me access my magic and it’s working a little bit, but I’m still not in complete control of it. We've both come up with some ideas, but, nothing concrete.”

“Do believe you can fight this hooded figure?” Archie was concerned, it wasn’t a topic which he could help with. Discussing her childhood and the subsequent emotional scars, where he could offer techniques to deal with them were one thing. This…there wasn’t much to be done about a future which seemed set in stone.

“I finally want to.” Emma looked back up to Archie, a mixture of tears and a smile, “I’ve started to deal with my crap and I have my family. Me and Regina…”

“You and Regina…” he prompted.

Emma bit her lip and a blush crept up her neck, “she kissed my cheek yesterday.” She ducked her head and couldn’t help but smile. They weren’t dating, they weren’t…doing anything, but the energy between them was there.

“Have you told Regina you have feelings for her?” Emma may have let that slip too, after she’d come out and explained to Archie how she had finally reached a place to feel comfortable enough to do so. Which included the night spent with Regina and the rest had spilled from her mouth before her brain had caught up.

Emma shook her head and twiddled her hands in her lap, “I don’t think I should.”

“Why would that be? Regina has already told you of her feelings and her willingness to wait. Now is as good a time as any to progress your relationship.” Archie crossed one leg over the other and leant back, as usual, waiting for Emma to fill in the silence.

“It’s just-” she shrugged, “with the visions and everything.” Emma couldn’t decide which was worse. If Regina were to know she had feelings in return, only for Emma to…die. Or for Emma to die and leave her forever wondering. “She’s already lost everyone.”

“If this situation happened in reverse. Would you prefer to have known of Regina’s feelings?” Archie wasn’t sure which he would choose either, not that philosophical debates were part of therapy. His feelings on the subject didn’t much matter.

“I don’t know. If I lost her and knew she wanted me, there would always be the ‘what ifs’ you know? If I didn’t know, I think I would go my entire life pretending like I didn’t see her as more.” Emma still didn’t see which would be worse. Sometimes not knowing was kinder. Then again, this was Regina and lying to her was high up on the list of offensives. Withholding the truth counted as the same thing when you cut it down to its core.

Archie regarded her for a moment. He doubted them discussing the pros and cons of this back and forth would get them anywhere. “This is something you’re going to have to figure out for yourself, Emma. Why don’t we go back to the visions? I believe this is the first time you have admitted to me that you’re scared, even when we had sessions after they first began.”

“Yeah, well…whatever.”

“Do you remember how you felt when you first came to see me?” Archie could remember what she had been like and how she appeared now. A few days ago, he’d walked past her in the street and she’d waved as her curled hair had bounced around her face. The way Emma carried herself was such a transformation compared to the slump shoulders and sullen expression.

“Dunno. Felt numb. I was just doing what everyone wanted of me.” How that included letting herself die, she didn’t know. The hand she’d flopped onto the couch slowly curled up into a fist. “I didn’t even care about me.”

Archie didn’t comment, as he remembered what she had said, how it had been a surprise at how little she had focused on herself. After Emma had spent years as the saviour, putting everyone else in front of her own needs, it hardly seemed surprising.

“Do you think the numbness was a result of anything in particular?” It was important. If they could understand why Emma had been feeling the things she had, they could overcome the origin and reverse the causes in her mind.

Emma cast her eyes downwards, the hand clenched forcefully. Every time she would visit Archie, it felt as if a buried issue had been smashed like glass and in its wake, were shards of herself she had to pick back up. “Felt like shit. If I stopped feeling then I wouldn’t feel like shit.”

“You felt terrible. Why do you think this was the case and was there a reason you thought you had to hide it?” If Archie felt sympathy, he didn’t show it. This wasn’t the time or place for it.

“Because I was with Hook, I guess and everyone wanted me to be, so I just…pretended. Then the bad feelings just morphed, I don’t even know.” It was a blur, one minute she had been giving him a chance, uncertain where the future would bring them and the next, she had numbed herself and would remain docile.

“You’ve dated men in the past, am I correct in saying?” Emma nodded to confirm. “Then what was so different this time? You didn’t feel this terrible when dating other men, only with him.”

All Emma could manage was a shrug. In recent weeks, she had been feeling such a mixture of emotions. There were times she would beat herself down and spend hours locked away, ignoring her phone and real life. Other times she felt angry as a memory would surface of a time she had let him walk all over her. “He made me question everything.”

Archie nodded slowly, “how so?”

“He would twist things.” She took a moment to pause and think, unsure how to phrase it, when an incident came to mind. “I got hurt a while back and he said he was glad I got my heart broken, because that meant it still worked. If he cared about me he wouldn’t want me to get hurt.” Emma had the urge to tuck her legs back into her chest, but fought it.

“Most people don’t want their loved ones to get hurt,” he said, digesting the information.

“He said he liked that I had walls and that he liked to be the one to break them down. As if I was damaged and broken and needed to be fixed.” She pulled her legs up and wrapped both arms around them anyway, never having realised how terrifying of a statement that was. She had been the dark one and that had made her cold in ways which sent a shiver down her spine if she thought too hard about it. “That’s fucked up, right?”

“It’s certainly…alarming.” He didn’t know what to make of it, other than alarm bells which rang in his mind. It seemed as if Emma were a challenge to him, not so much a partner.

“He made me feel broken.” Emma propped her chin on her knees and pouted. It seemed so obvious now, but then…there had been excuses and everyone else believing the things he did were romantic. He had decided she would be his in Neverland and had never given Emma choice. “He made me believe he had fixed me.”

Emma looked away with so much sorrow in eyes which had seen far too much. She thought back to how much she had altered herself to be with a man who only wanted her with terms and conditions. He hadn't wanted her as the dark one, only the perfect saviour.

Archie waited as Emma hugged her legs tighter. He wanted to comment, but Emma’s face ranged through a contortion of emotions and he thought it best he let them ride out. Eyes flickered to him then looked back down. She frowned and picked at a piece of fabric over her knee. She mumbled something under her breath.

“Could you repeat that for me, Emma?”

Chewing on her bottom lip gently, she looked back up, “I was never broken,” she whispered then diverted her eyes back down.

“No, you were not. What made you come to that conclusion?” He did smile this time, because there was progress and there was a person with so little self-confidence finding belief in herself.

“I didn’t like the person I had become. If I needed fixing, it should’ve made me better, but all it did was make me…flat.” Emma’s mind wandered to the wish realm, to the version of her she didn’t much like because of exactly that. It was almost as if he had been trying to transform her into the person she would’ve been if she had been raised by her parents. Except for the emotional scars which prevented her from being a princess in need of saving.

“Flat?”

“Without flaws, I guess-” she shrugged, “my reactions became about what he wanted, not what I felt.”

Archie nodded slowly and took in the information; she most certainly had a point, “do you remember what you said to me during your early appointments?”

Emma looked up and frowned, “I said a lot of stuff.”

“Indeed you did,” he said reassuringly, but this had stuck with him, “when you were concerned about the visions becoming a reality, you were only focused on giving Hook his happy ending. You never once mentioned what it would mean for you or anyone else around you.”

“I-” Emma stiffened, eyes falling to the ground, “I remember,” she whispered. She hadn’t cared about herself in the slightest. “It had been about what he wanted. I don’t even know how I got to that point.”

She had morphed into a cardboard cut out. Where there was once a flawed woman with complexity and depth, filled with pain, but so much fight and compassion, remained a woman whose scars had been used against her. Walls; as everyone would put them, were negative and had to be removed before she could be anything but broken. Once they were eliminated, she was supposed to have been freed to live a happy life, but all it had done was create a version of her who had been emotionless.

“How do you believe you came to be at that point?”

Emma twisted her head to the side and bit her lip to stop it from trembling. She shrugged, before swivelling her body so she could lie flat on the couch. Fingers twiddled above her middle then she curled herself onto one side, her head facing the back of the couch. “I hate him-” she squeezed both eyes shut and whimpered, tensing her body to stop the way the emotions carried around her body and made her want to throw something.

Archie didn’t comment. He sat and waited for Emma to let the emotions float to the surface. He knew it was never easy, allowing someone else to witness pain. On a shuddered breath, Emma twisted so she lay flat on her back, knees bent up and feet planted on the couch. Fingers conjoined and rested over her stomach. Her head flopped to the side and her eyes found Archie’s, “what counts as emotional abuse?”

“Why do you ask?” he said gently.

She turned her head away. Deep breaths followed as she stared up at the ceiling. Tears pushed from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t bother to wipe them away. Her lip quivered and chest shuddered with each breath. "Because I t-think he..." she took another breath then attempted to finish that thought.

***

Each fibre in Emma shook as she paced towards the mansion. Normally, she would find ways to decompress after the therapy sessions, but all she could think to do was find _her._ There was no plan, but that didn’t stop her walking up the pathway, hands clenched by her sides and body rigid. A fist banged on the door. She crossed her arms as it swung open.

“Emma?” Regina elevated then very quickly frowned. “Are you alright?”

Emma barged past, hitting Regina’s shoulders as she did. The door shut and Regina spun on her heel at the same time Emma turned back around. Her cheeks were flamed and eyes still red-rimmed from where she had ended up sobbing. Still unaware where it had come from, the feelings she’d let loose now festered with no way of release.

“Emma?” Regina came closer, caution in her voice.

Swallowing, she shook her head as her chest quivered. There were no tears left, but she felt her throat tighten as if she would cry. “I had a session.”

Regina nodded slowly, unaware what that meant in terms of the state Emma was in. The need to hug her was strong, but there was a real chance it would make Emma panic and she would get pushed off. Regina kept a small distance, one arm raised in Emma’s direction as if she were approaching something unsafe. “With Archie?”

Emma nodded and shoved both hands into the pockets of her jeans. Gods, she’d even started dressing like the feminine docile fifties housewife Hook had wanted her to be. These were her clothes and there was nothing wrong with the way she dressed. “Brought up some stuff.”

“Would you like to talk about it?” Even as the words left her mouth, Regina knew they weren’t going to open a bottle of wine and talk it out. Emma had just spent the last hour talking, there was a chance she was drained. The shake of her head confirmed as much.

Both hands were pulled out and shaken in front of Emma. “Feel…like I’m gunna explode.” Or cave inwards. She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she had to move and being on her own wouldn’t have done her much good.

“I don’t know what to suggest. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Emma shook her head again. The next second, she twisted at the torso, legs slightly apart and bent, grunted and threw a fist into the wall. Regina’s eyes went wide. Each knuckle stung. Emma turned her entire body, leant her left palm flat against the wall, one leg at a slight angle and bent to bare her weight then she twisted her hips and collided her right fist with the rock-solid wall.

“Emma!” Regina’s hands flailed by her sides, as she stood, unmoving. Emma hit the wall again. Regina watched, unable to intervene as Emma punched out her feelings.

A deep breath saw to it another punch was thrown. Then another and another. Knotted hair fell around her face, sweat collecting around her forehead and rolling down her back. Her entire hand hurt, but it felt…good, in its own way. The next punched saw to it her knuckles grazed. The punch after had them bleed. Emma lifted her arm back behind her head, for a hand to grip forcefully around her elbow. The fingers dug into her flesh. “That’s enough.”

Emma took a step back. Her breathing was laboured. Both hands were by her sides as she spun and fell back against the wall. Regina was at a loss, unsure what had promoted the reaction. Both eyes closed as Emma slid down the wall until she was crouched. She flung both arms over her spread knees and bowed her head. “Am a mess.”

Regina let her take a breath. Part of her wanted to yell at Emma, to tell her that hurting herself wouldn’t get them anywhere. The other, it knew Emma was already in distress. She needed an outlet and one which wouldn’t hurt her. “Just breathe, Emma.”

There was a slight nod then a large exhale of breath. Emma clasped her right fingers over her left palm from where it hung in mid-air. Regina saw the bloodied knuckles and had to take a moment to breathe herself. Then she crouched, one foot in front of the other so she could place on shin on the ground. It was highly uncomfortable, but she didn’t much care.

“Can I see?” Regina asked, so close Emma’s hair tickled her face. Lightly, she cupped Emma’s right wrist which prompted Emma to lift her head, connecting their gaze. Green eyes were haunted, filled to the brim with all the ghosts she’d been hiding. She nodded tightly.

On a sigh, Regina lifted her hand and placed the fingers flat in her open palm. One look to Emma for another confirmation and she wafted a gentle hand over the grazes. Purple magic streamed from her hand and healed the cuts in one swift motion. It gave Regina an idea. With the hand still in her own, she clasped onto it, placed the other on the ground so she could push, then stood. Emma’s arm stretched as she did. “Up.”

This time, Emma sighed, put her other hand on the wall behind her and shoved herself from it, gaining balance from Regina. “Don’t lecture me.”

It had crossed her mind. To tell Emma to stop hurting herself, because she was tired of seeing her in pain. Perhaps a lecture would come later, but for right now, they would do something else. “Wasn’t planning on it, dear.”

Regina smirked and wafted her other hand, engulfing them in purple smoke. They landed in the nearby forest, both hands still clasped together.

“What the hell?” Emma twisted her head from side to side to gather her bearings. Leaves crunched beneath her booted feet as she shuffled. Trees surrounded them, but the area they had landed in was relatively open, light flooding in through the gap the clearing had created.

There was only a small chuckle to answer Emma questions. Regina let go of her palm after a quick squeeze and paced backwards.

“You need an outlet,” she said, needing one almost as much. Without breaking their gaze, both hands lifted to the height of her chest, palms facing towards her and fingers curled in slightly. The magic she called bubbled between her fingers and palm, as if it were contained in a dome.

Emma couldn’t keep her eyes away from the alluring brown ones calling her closer. The potion she had been taking helped a little, but it hadn’t been the anti-dote Regina had been searching for, so her magic was still trapped…somewhere. Before she knew what was happening, however, Regina stretched both arms above her head and shot the magic into the sky. It travelled a few feet them burst into sparkles, before it disappeared.

“I can’t do that.” Emma almost felt sorry for herself. Almost. Flaring anger like this was hard to ignore. It had those feelings wither before being brought to the surface.

“Sure you can,” Regina said rather confidently, “your magic remains inside of you and emotion is the best way to access it. Use your anger, feel it and then let it out. You can do this.”

Regina seemed certain. Emma trusted Regina. She took a quick breath then closed her eyes to concentrate. Regina had years of experience where Emma hadn’t. There would be no eye contact and cocky smile whilst she made her own magic. Unsure what she was supposed to do, she lifted both palms and brought them together as if she were holding a small ball. The magic sparked between her palms like electricity.

Then it died.

She opened her eyes and the looked to Regina. Where she expected Emma’s eyes to show sadness, there was rage.

“Again,” Regina said, more confident than ever this was the push Emma needed.

Emma nodded, the corner of her mouth upturning. If she could access it once, she could again. Each hand made the same position. She let the emotions swirl around and took deep breaths to contain it. She imagined the emotions meshing together, then travelling through her body until they reached her palms. The magic began to fizz and crackle. It was multicolored and more explosive than Emma had ever felt.

It reminded her of the trigger.

“Combine.” Emma pushed the one word out, breathing deeply as if she were exerting physical energy.

The leaves bustled as Regina moved closer. Regina lifted her palms directly above Emma’s, where she slowly added her magic to the mix. The wind picked up. Trees moved and leaves fell from their branches. Emma shook as Regina filtered in more and more. She knew she could take the brunt of it if Emma were to lose control, but she took it slow all the same.

“Feel it.” Regina kept her eyes on Emma. The way a bead of sweat rolled down her forehead. There was a little smirk as she added another dose, Emma’s biceps tensing to keep the magic contained in her palms. “Now take that anger and push it out. Push. It. Out.”

The wind howled and rain descended. Emma was too focused to notice. Each drop bounced down through the trees, hitting the ground and their clothes. “Focus.”

Emma could feel the rain soaking her clothes from its sudden down pour. Her hair stuck to her head. Regina was in the same condition, her nose red as water droplets ran down her face. It stuck to her eye lashes. Not that she cared.

“Tense your body,” she told Emma and when she did, Regina pushed hard on the magic and added it into Emma’s.

Emma struggled, her entire body shivering due to the influx of sensations. Her palms were on fire, but she was unaware of the little doses of fire Regina had just added to her magic. It was nothing that would do harm, just spice things up a little bit. Regina half expected them to be blown backwards by the magic blasting out, but so far Emma had kept control. She was impressed.

The wind and rain still moved around them. Grey clouds joined the mix, darkening the sky and creating an eerie ambience. The temperature dropped. “I need you to lift your hands above your head and keep a hold of the magic.”

Emma nodded then lifted her arms slowly, as if she were lifting a heavy object. Each muscle rippled and her back felt as if it were carrying the brunt of the load. Regina pushed up too, reducing the weight.

“Don’t…know…how much…longer…” Emma struggled to breathe. The anger was completely and utterly contained in the ball of magic. With every second, it intensified, but determination had gripped somewhere and wouldn’t let go.

Regina altered her magic, slowly directing it so it covered Emma’s palm, it creating a glow in the shape of a ball. “When I count down from three, I want you to spread your arms out and let go of the magic.”

Emma frowned, “are you…”

“Trust me.” It was Emma’s turn. Regina had been asked the same on more than one occasion. She had, every time. “Ready? Three…two…one…”

Emma spread her arms to the side. The magic banged like a gunshot. Lightning struck and clouds collided to create thunder. Regina pushed on the magic ball and scrunched up her face to contain the magic. Slowly, she spread her arms as if miming a rainbow. The bright magic spread over them, creating a dome. The rain pounded onto it and the sounds from the wind were lowered. Emma opened her eyes and stood motionless.

Regina’s arms dropped to her sides. Now they’d been protected from the rain, the wetness of the clothes felt awful. In one swift hand movement, both herself and Emma were dried. Emma’s eyes went wide and she spun on the spot, chest still heaving. “I didn’t know this was possible.”

The sky still raged. It had spread out to the town and created a storm. Emma turned back to face Regina, who was a little breathless herself.

“You’ve had it in you this entire time.” Regina had always known Emma’s magic was strong, powerful…special. Not because of true love or the saviour title, because it had been elemental to Emma. The magic had been an innate part of Emma and was unique, complimenting her strength, fight and ability to love. “This is all you.”

Emma still couldn’t believe her eyes. Regina smiled brightly and looked to Emma was so much adoration. So much _love._ Emma wondered how she had missed it. She wanted to kiss her. More than anything she wanted to pull Regina into her arms and kiss her until their knees went weak. It would count as kissing in the rain, almost, but the magic made the moment more romantic than Emma could’ve imagined. It may not be their first kiss, but finally, she felt ready.

“I feel so much better, lighter almost.” Emma couldn’t explain it. The need to combust had vanished. Replaced instead with a calmness. Although tired, she felt more relaxed and comfortable within her own skin. Something which had been sorely lacking for a long time.

Regina smiled a smile so bright, Emma reciprocated. She took a step forwards, intent on letting the good feelings out. As she did, pain shot up her arm. Both eyes went wide as she grunted and fell to her knee.

“Emma-” Regina was next to her, one hand on her shoulder. Emma gripped onto her shaking arm. No vision came.

She tipped her head up at Regina and frowned. “I just feel…shooting pain in my arm.”

Hooking both arms under Emma’s shoulders, Regina hoisted her back up. The dome fell. The rain pounded on them, the two of them squinting and ducking as if they could get cover. It stopped. The wind reduced, but the sky remained dark and the clouds didn’t move. Regina twisted her head to look around, not understanding the feeling in her gut. “Something feels wrong.”

Emma continued to grip her arm and gritted her teeth. “I feel pain, but no vision. My body feels like it’s aching. Something doesn’t feel right, I’m with you on that.”

They looked to each other, Regina’s arms still lightly around Emma’s body. After a few breaths, Emma let go of her arm, the pain suddenly vanishing. They took a small step apart to gather their surroundings and feel for what was going on. When she couldn’t tell what was happening she shrugged at Emma. “Maybe it was the residual of what we created?”

Before Emma could respond, they were swallowed by a thick cloud of black smoke and transported out of the forest.


	21. Chapter 21

The storm they had created remained. The sky was black, clouds grey and the wind bustled around the streets. Lamps had switched themselves on even though it was supposed to be daylight. People stopped what they had been doing to look around and gauge the situation. Emma and Regina landed with a thud outside of the library. They glanced to each other, looked around and stood prepared to fight.

“Do you think…?” Emma’s voice trailed off, not wanting to think this was the end. They’d come too far and it didn’t seem fair. Before Regina could say another word, two figures in the distance stalked closer. Too far to make out, one wafted an arm into the air and caused a street light to blow. The sparks fell around their head, but they were otherwise unaffected.

Regina gripped onto Emma’s wrist and tugged her so they could walk into the middle of the street, “stay with me.” She wasn’t prepared to lose Emma and although she had just proved to be capable of magic, it wasn’t up to the standard Regina had hoped they could achieve.

They stood in the middle of the intersection, heads spinning as everyone else ran from the area. It was uncertain what was going on, but whenever they would end up here, something always did. At least the streets would be empty and there would be no casualties. They hoped. “Something feels off.”

“I know-” Regina squeezed her palm, “let’s just see what happens, be prepared to use magic and fight.”

Emma shook her head, looked down to her clothing then back around, “in my vision, I’m wearing something different, I have the sword and it’s night. I’m certain of it,” she said as Regina went to open her mouth, “everyone else was in the visions, except…”

“Me?”

“Yeah, but I guess Hook was supposed to be in it too.” Emma didn’t want to think more on the subject, glad he was gone and would be out of the way.

“We were the ones who created this. If they wanted to scare us, they would’ve been the ones to do it. Doesn’t make any sense.” Regina thought about it for a moment, the two figures becoming more than specs in the distance. It didn’t feel much like a final battle by any sorts, so perhaps this wasn’t the vision Emma had seen. It didn’t explain the figures and she remained tense and ready.

“What if Hook leaving changed everything?” It was a possibility, if the vision was supposed to occur as it had when Emma had first experienced one then if they altered things in the present, it could have an effect on the future.

“It’s likely. Is that…” Regina squinted and saw one of her signature dresses. Mainly black with purple sparkles over her chest and in various areas. It fit tightly and revealed a huge amount of cleavage, fit snuggly around her waist then puffed outwards. “She can’t fight in that dress.”

Emma’s eyes widened as she caught sight of the queen, “you’re certain?”

“It’s for show. She can use magic, but physical fighting, not so much.” Regina wasn’t entirely sure and she thought on it harder,  "if she's working with someone else, it's possible she could be the source of the magic. But...that would mean the hooded figure doesn’t have magic."

“Doubtful.” Emma's stance went rigid. "Why would the hooded figure reveal themselves before the battle? It would give us the upper hand by having chance to prepare."

"Or throw us off. Either way, we’re about to find out.”

The figure lifted their arm and caused another light to blow. It created the perfect ambience. The queen had a huge smile on her face, evil, seductive and as if she was about to get everything she could ever want. From a far, that was. As she came closer, Regina could tell it was the same mask she had worn for years. When she had convinced herself killing Snow White would make her happy.

The hooded figure stalked closer, head bowed to hide their face. The queen moved slightly in front of them, a bounce in her step. No matter what was about to happen, being the in the know and gloating was always fun. Regina’s grip on Emma’s wrist hardened and she stood slightly in front of her like a human shield.

“Well, well, well, my dears.” The queen’s red painted lips spread so widely across her face and her eyes glued to Regina’s then Emma’s in turn. They both felt the hooded figure as she came close enough they could almost touch her. A few steps more and they would be nose to nose.

“Why are you doing this?” It was the first words out of Emma’s mouth. Mainly to the figure, but as much to the queen. If Regina cared for her then that care should extend to the queen. Yet, here they were.

Regina wanted answers just as much as Emma. She stared at the queen, gave her the hardest look she could conjure and brought out a voice she hadn’t used in a long time, “hurt her and I’ll find a way to end you.”

She chuckled, looking amused, “that’s rich, considering I am the one who is going to end you.”

They faced each other and frowned. Was that the queen’s plan all along? How did that tie in with Emma’s visions? More than ready for answers, they both turned towards the hooded figure, Emma feeling a little safer at how much Regina was willing to protect her. Emma had always felt it, but to hear it was…nice.

“You’re cowards,” Regina spat to them both, “reveal yourself.” At least when she had killed in the past, she made it known. She didn’t hide behind a mask.

Emma and Regina stood, silent, as the figure let out a low chuckle. Their hands went to the side of the hood, but stopped. Emma felt the urge to launch right at them and pull the hood down herself, but Regina tugged on her arm sensing as much. It wouldn’t do either of them any good if they were to dive straight in without knowing who they were up against.

“The biggest twist of them all,” the queen said, wide eyed. One hand on her hip, she chuckled again and shook her head, “I can’t believe neither of you have figured it out. I mean, look at us, Regina.” That didn’t help in the slightest. The queen did surmise they existed differently, but still, “do you feel any darkness, Em-ma?”

There was a twinge of guilt the queen tried to ignore. Emma had tried, at least, but it still wasn’t enough. Regina wouldn’t want her back and if they merged they would be miserable. At least this way, the queen could pretend she had gotten everything.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Emma felt as she always had, a little off considering everything that had happened, but…of course she had darkness. Did she? Now she thought about it, she couldn’t remember the last time she had questioned the saviour side of herself. Not since before the hospital visit, at least.

They got their answer as the hooded figure lifted the material and let it drop around their shoulders. A wide smile spread over their pale features, eyes swimming in darkness.

Emma tensed.

Regina blinked once, twice and on the third time when nothing changed she looked to the queen.

“Brilliant, isn’t it?” she said and Regina did feel stupid. She was…damn.

“H-h-how?” It was…terrifying. The thought of that darkness she had once felt existing outside of herself. No wonder Regina had acted so differently since casting hers out.

Emma smiled. A devilishly, evil smile which sent a shiver down both of their spines. She pulled the hood off completely to reveal leather armour. It fit perfectly, coiled around her muscles and had powers unbeknown to the human eye. Her blood red lips turned into a snarl as she stared at her other half, hand clenching into a fist at the need to destroy, “you cannot cast darkness out,” she said, voice deep and filled to the brim with pain, “I have it all.”

“I…” Emma’s mouth hung open as she stared, unable to comprehend, “but…” she’d gotten rid of the darkness, contained it and destroyed it.

Regina pulled herself out of the shock, a lot more accustomed to seeing two of herself than Emma. She slid her hand down Emma's wrist, until it clasped onto her hand and gave a gentle squeeze. “The darkness was contained in a vessel, he died, this shouldn’t be possible.”

“Oh, come on, Regina-” the queen rolled her eyes and placed both hands on her hips, “you managed to cast your darkness out and create me. I hardly see how this is such a shock.” So the queen had been a little taken aback when she had first been cornered by the dark one, but it hadn’t been that difficult to get her head around.

“Yes, well,” she said, tipping her head to the side with languid, yet frigid movements, “it would have worked, until Rumple intercepted and took back his darkness.” Her eyes found Emma’s and she punctuated every word. “I am the dark one _you_ created.”

Emma stared back at herself, squeezing her hand in Regina’s as if she were an anchor. Her face paled almost as much as…Emma’s; not Emma, “I created two of me?”

The Dark Swan smiled a smile so devilishly it had Emma take a literal pace backwards. She shouldn’t be afraid, but all she wanted to do was run and hide. She moved closer. Regina stepped in front of Emma, “I don’t think so.”

Brown determined eyes met her cold gaze head on. They stared in a way which was chilling. Some experience with this dark one didn’t prepare her for the way she looked through her as if she were nothing. A barrier she would end with a wave of her hand. That’s exactly what she did. Waved her hand and teleported Regina behind her, clearing her path so she could reach Emma.

“Why do you want me dead?” Emma glanced over to where Regina landed, unharmed and clenched both fists by her sides, reminding herself of the things she wanted to live for. It didn’t stop the tremor from running through her body.

The leather armour altered as she moved closer, rippling to fit her movements. Unlike when Emma had been whole and the dark one, her skin glittered and shone. White hair had been pulled back into a tight pony tail, dangling down to her shoulders. Her eyes transformed between white with light grey orbs or completely black as her darkness rose to the surface. “If you haven’t learned by now, dear saviour-” she gripped onto Emma’s chin with one hand, the other hanging by her side and lifted Emma up enough she stood on her tip-toes, “without power, you have nothing.”

Regina paced back from where she had landed. Her heart rate sped up by the arms which flailed by Emma’s sides. The queen spun and flung both arms out, creating a magic barrier which kept Regina from moving any closer. Regina snarled, “what do you have to gain from this?”

Regina flung magic at the barrier, but it didn’t budge. Frustrated, she pounded her fists on the dark purple wall, face contorting in pain as her eyes glued to Emma. She had been lifted so her head tilted backwards and she scratched at the Dark Swan’s hand without causing a scratch. Regina growled at the queen, “tell me!”

The Dark Swan heard the panic rising behind, yet had enough faith the queen wanted what she had promised, that she would handle Regina for her. She relaxed her grip on Emma then pulled her closer so she could stare into those wide green eyes. “You have the saviour, I have the darkness. Whatever you felt as the dark one, was nothing compared to this. I will end you and take your power then even Rumpelstiltskin won’t be able to stop me.”

Emma tried to pull in as much oxygen as she could get. She spluttered and coughed now the hand had loosened enough to let air into her lungs. Both hands gripped onto the Dark Swan’s forearm, to no avail. “Stop…you…from doing…what?”

The queen looked on at Regina, glanced to her nails as if she had all the time in the world before casually strolling so she stood in reach of Regina. “Look at you,” she gloated and placed her palms flat on the barrier, “you can’t save her now, can you?”

Regina held back a sob. Her hair was tatty around her face, cheeks flushed and forehead sweaty. She had thrown magic and banged at the barrier, but no matter what, her focus was shot and she couldn’t seem to get it down. “But we…” _love her._ Regina lay her forehead down, it was warm against her already clammy skin. Her chest heaved and she hit the barrier one more time for good measure. “Just tell me what you plan to do.”

The queen chuckled. Part of her revelled in the Regina's pain. Successfully putting Emma and the Dark Swan on ignore, she could easily avoid any hint of her own pain. “I’ll get everything.”

“How? The only way to get everything is to merge back. As much as it pains me, it’s the only way.” Regina looked up and pleaded with her eyes. She wouldn’t beg, it was beneath her. One more glance to Emma saw that pride crumble. If she had to, she would in an instant.

Emma plunged to the floor. She landed on her side, legs sprawled and weight rested on her palms from where she was hunched over. Each breath pulled her senses back into focus. The wind blow through her loose hair and over her body. It caused her to shiver. It remained dark and so quiet, she wondered where everyone else was. Why her family wasn’t here.

A dark laugh sounded above, “if I didn’t want your magic I would get rid of you right now. You’re pathetic, Em-ma. Some saviour, you can’t even save yourself.” Magic saw to it Emma was brought back up again. She felt for her own, but was too panicked to access it. It fizzled in her fingers then died before it morphed into anything useful. Emma bowed her head from where her feet dangled just off the ground.

“If you’re going to kill me, just get on with it.” The darkness came out of the Dark Swan in waves and surrounded Emma. Her head jolted up at the sudden sensation. It…tickled, but she could feel the impulses coiling around her veins. A sudden flare of anger erupted and she felt the urge to scream.

“Feel that.” The darkness amplified. Emma struggled against the magic hold, but no magic was being fed into her and her own was useless. “That’s only a percentage of what I carry. But no, I’m not going to kill you now. I decided to give you a gift. The Evil Queen very helpfully pointed out how much more fun it would be to gloat. How I was under your nose this entire time, yet you still couldn’t figure it out. Her mind is phenomenal.”

She had to agree, this was much more fun. She was hardly even trying and seeing the defeat in Emma’s eyes was worth it. It would mean she had already won. By the time she was ready for battle, Emma would know exactly who would be driving the sword through her gut and know that she only had herself to blame.

“Why should I merge with you, when I can kill you and take all your power?” The queen pressed her nose to the barrier, a smirk pulling on the corner of her lips. Regina squinted at her, no longer having the faintest idea what she was on about. “Oh yes,” she continued, “once the dark one has everything she desires, she _will_ be powerful enough to kill you and let me absorb your power in the process.”

“No matter how much power she has, it doesn’t stop us from being one. Your life is connected to mine. Whatever she has promised you, it’s…all…lies.” Regina twisted her head and brought forth the darkness she had been trying to ignore. Both Emma and Maleficent had been right, the split didn’t work how she had anticipated. “Now let me out of here to save the one person who still cares about you.”

“Emma?” The queen pushed back and spun on the spot. Emma remained in mid-air, fighting a mixture of impulses. The saviour inside demand she call for her magic and blast free, whilst the darkness being fed to her wanted to grip onto the Dark Swan and straggle her as payback. Not of that mattered, considering she would never be able to escape the hold and the Dark Swan watched as if she were bored.

“Emma was the one who found the potion. Emma was the one who has been trying to persuade me to take it. Emma was the one who wanted to treat you with kindness to show you you’re wanted. It.Has.All.Been.Her. Now let me out and use that head of yours. It’s not possible, we are one person, one cannot die without the other.” Regina didn’t know how the Dark Swan had convinced her otherwise. She had even gone to Rumple for answers at one point. Even he said the same. Then there was the book Emma had found, which explained the split a little more thoroughly.

The queen stared for a moment. Even after the split, the feelings for that idiot remained, until she had been hell bent on killing her. It had been easy to remove her after that, send her away to the wish realm. Then the Dark Swan had appeared, offered her the world and she hadn’t taken her on, not at first, but the darker nature of this Emma called to her own. She couldn’t resist.

The Dark Swan would be powerful enough to eliminate Regina and allow her to keep all the power. It had to be true or she would lose everything. She gave herself a moment to think. Weighing the options between following through, being lied to or merging. Emma remained a deciding factor, because as much as her pesky feelings remained, the Dark Swan hadn’t once hinted that she was a part of what she wanted.

“The potion from Jekyll and Hyde split our live force and placed it into two bodies. One of us die, we both die. You wouldn’t be able to take out my life force and add it to your own, because that would result in the both of us dead before you could manage it. You couldn’t kill me first and take it, because you would already be dead. It’s not possible. I want you back. _Please,_ don’t let her die.” Regina thought she saw a shudder from the queen, but as she spun back around her eyes were filled to the brim with anger. She snarled, waved her hands and disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke. The barrier fell.

“Emma!” Arms and legs pumped as she ran, then wafted her arms to teleport. She landed beside them and found herself in another barrier. This one was black and it made her vision blurred. “Damn you-” she hit the barrier again, prepared to throw whatever she could at this Dark Swan. She twisted her head to face Regina and smiled.

“Relax, I’m not going to kill her. Not today, anyway.” She freed them both in one swift motion then took a few paces backwards.

Regina ran to where Emma was on the ground again, tugged her up and held her into her chest. Emma couched and heaved from the darkness, not used to handling that much. Every inch of her shook and she buried her face in Regina’s neck for the warmth and clung onto her. Aware the Dark Swan was still a threat, she wouldn’t allow herself to relax, but pushed down on any lingering thoughts of revenge.

“As I was saying.” The Dark Swan paced back and forth, glanced to the way Regina had an arm around Emma to tuck her into her side, scoffed and felt a hint of longing. “I’m going to give you a gift. The final battle will happen in one week. Now, you can use that time to try and find a way to defeat me, but as I already told you, this darkness cannot simply cease to exist and you would be wasting your time _or-”_ she stopped and faced the pair, “you can spend it saying your goodbyes and all of those things you’ve been holding back.”

Emma popped her head up with fire in her eyes. She remained silent, not trusting anything that would come out of her mouth. Regina stared her down, one hand running up and down Emma’s back. The Dark Swan chuckled, not even phased by anything she had done. It was the tip of the ice berg and she had enjoyed throwing Emma around like a rag doll. That still left the queen and she had heard every word of their conversation. Heightened senses being one of her many gifts. That would be some damage she would have to undo. Though she supposed if the potion lasted a few more days, then it wouldn’t much matter if the queen suddenly stopped helping. A cloud of black smoke appeared and she was gone.

Regina pulled a quivering Emma into her and wrapped both arms tightly around her body. Emma let herself be held, mind spinning and unable to comprehend anything which had just happened. Both of their chests heaved as the found comfort in each other.

“I’m not going to let you die,” Regina whispered and Emma chocked back on the anger, the tears, the knowledge that she had been so hell-bent on keeping Hook alive, that she couldn’t live without him, she had created this.

So much for her actions having no consequences.

***

Emma stood with her arms crossed and back resting against the kitchen counter. Her eyes didn’t move from the ground. Snow stood opposite, making a variation of hot drinks for everyone who had bombarded into the loft. Once the magic shield around the town had lifted, did they all reunite and return to the loft. It was supposed to be about discussion, but so far Emma hadn’t come out of her head space. It was dark, twisted and it crept into her bones, whispering that it was her fault, she had already lost.

Snow spun, placed a hot chocolate beside her daughter, but otherwise didn’t attempt to make conversation. Emma hummed in thanks, but didn’t engage either. Once Snow had grabbed the other drinks and distributed them around the room, did she sit beside her husband on the couch. Regina and Henry had moved some chairs and sat opposite.

“So…they both want you dead.” Snow tried to be objective about the situation, but it proved difficult.

Regina shook her head at the absurdity, took one long gulp of her coffee then looked to Snow, “our other halves don’t like us very much.”

Emma half listened to their conversation, the retelling of the events which had only just transpired. From the forest, to the queen, to the Dark Swan being under the hood, to everything in between. She twisted her head to the side, took one long look at them before sinking back into the pits of her mind. They spoke for a long time, figuring out how it was even possible, if the queen really could get what she wanted, but Emma had yet to move. The only thing she had managed was to drink her hot chocolate.

Eyes flickered to her repeatedly, more so Regina than the rest. All Emma wanted to do was sink into a hole in the ground until this was all over. A gift, she had called it, but this was anything but. Emma would have preferred it if she didn’t know. This week was going to be torture. There would be talk of fight, when Emma knew she couldn’t win, last words spoken between them, even if they insisted she could win. She didn’t want to face the chance she would die, she didn’t want to face her son, she didn’t want to face any of it.

A whole thirty minutes went by and no one said a word. They let her stew, but in their midst was a queen and a woman who was not prepared to go down without a fight. It was going to be difficult and Regina didn’t want to have to hurt any version of Emma, they all seemed in agreement in that regard, but she wasn’t going to let Emma mope, either.

Regina collected all the mugs and brought them over to the sink. “You can dry,” she flew over her shoulder, “and pass me your cup.”

It took a moment, but on a sigh Emma grabbed her empty mug and handed it over. They washed and dried in relative silence, her hands moving on autopilot. The last thing she wanted was to have to speak, to do anything, but Regina and the rest of her family weren’t about to let that happen.

“I know you’re hurting and probably blaming yourself-” Regina handed her a washed mug, but otherwise didn’t look in her direction, “but wallowing in self-pity isn’t going to do any of us any good. I thought we had passed all this.”

“Was my fault.” Emma put the last of the mugs into the cupboard and leaned against the side. She crossed her arms and shrugged as Regina scoffed at her.

“No.” Regina moved around her, stance wide so she was almost straddling her legs. It at least got Emma’s attention, those eyes sort out her own and Regina placed both hands onto the side and leant even closer.

“You listen to me. What he put you through was not your fault. I am not about to let you fall into the pits of despair he built for you. You will fight this, Emma, even if I have to drag you out into the woods to practice magic. Even if I have to yell at you, because, Emma-” she grabbed tightly onto Emma’s upper arms and gave her a small shake, “you are a fighter. The Emma Swan I first met wouldn’t take bullshit from anyone. She took a chainsaw to my apple tree, she fought against me at every turn.” Regina squeezed her fingertips around Emma’s arms and lowered her voice. “I am _not_ going to let you die.”

Emma looked to her with sadness and despair in her eyes. “There’s no way I can win, Regina. It’s over.”

She bowed her head, ignoring the tightening of those fingers. She wasn’t sure where that Emma had gone either, lost in the midst of saving everyone else whilst no one saved her. If only Regina would pull her into those arms and hold her for a while. Everything might be a little better. Regina pulled away and Emma sagged.

“Fine. It was nice knowing you.” Regina walked straight to Henry, kissed his head and whispered into his ear before standing back up. As much as she was going to push Emma, she didn’t want to comprise her son in the meantime. She’d promised no more lying and he trusted her. “Henry, say goodbye to your mother.”

At that, Emma snapped her head up to see Regina was serious. Their eyes connected and brown orbs remained hard. If Emma was going to wallow in her own self-doubts, Regina wasn’t going to be around to witness it. As much as she wasn’t anywhere near giving up, she would leave if Emma didn’t make an attempt to do anything other than drown. “Regina?”

Henry shuffled over, not quite sure what to do or say. No matter what anyone of them would say, he was worried. He had caught a taste of what it would be like, the days he had spent watching his mother in that hospital bed. Not knowing if she was going to wake up.

“Mom,” he said and walked straight into her own arms, “please, mom, I need you.”

Emma pulled him to her chest, arms squeezed tightly around his growing form. Her lip quivered, because it had been easier to distance herself than feel this. “ _I can’t,”_ she chocked and held on tighter to his wriggling body, “I’m sorry.”

Henry pushed her away. It was one thing going along with his mother, but this…his shoulders slumped and he turned without another word, grabbed his bag and walked over to Regina. They were at the door. Snow and David sat on the edge of their seats, glancing at each other and silently agreeing to stay out of it. Regina had an arm around Henry’s shoulder and yanked the door open. “Goodbye Miss Swan.”

Arms still crossed tightly around her chest, Emma stomped one foot so hard it sent shocks up her leg. She pouted, acting like a child throwing a tantrum. “Don’t leave me.”

Regina spun in the open door way, took one look at Emma and was at a loss. There was only so much she could do. In the end, Emma had to be the one to pull herself out and choose to fight. Taking a soft or hard approach didn’t seem like the solution, but now she had taken this path, she would follow through. It had caused a response other than indifference, at least.

“Why shouldn’t I? I may as well get used to you not being around. We both know the queen has too much self-preservation to kill me, so that leaves me living on after you’ve rolled over and been trampled on.” Henry flinched and Regina wished she could save him some of this, though Emma was looking to him as if she wanted nothing more than to grab onto him and hold on for dear life.

Both eyes closed as she took deep shuddered breaths. She tried to concentrate, to sort out the tangled emotions and damage inflicted upon her throughout her life. Somewhere along the way she had lost herself completely. Regina was right; the Emma Swan who had first came to town had enough fight in her to go up against the one person everyone else had been too afraid of. She had survived through a childhood of loneliness and longing, an adulthood which wasn’t much different.

Then she had met him, still filled to the brim with emotional scars she had buried, it had been so easy for him to worm his way in. Emma had let him, had convinced herself she was happy and he was what she had wanted. To please her parents, to be normal, to have a chance at what everyone else seemed to want.

It had been established that she didn’t want that. She had almost accepted herself and was on the way to doing so. Her mind remained a mess, but he was gone. Slowly, she had been coming back into her own. Why should she let all that turn to ash?

She was tired of being tired. Fed up of feeling drained and as if she no longer knew herself. That wasn’t her, she’d always had a strong sense of self, enough determination to go after whatever it was she wanted. Emma knew what she wanted. No matter how much she denied it to herself. Everything she wanted was in this room; her parents, her son, _Regina._ Why she continued to dwell on those things which hurt she didn’t know. The pain existed and the wish realm proved it had made Emma…Emma. Without it she very much sucked.

The more she thought about it, the more the fire inside began to build. She clung onto it, felt what it was like when Henry pushed her away, imagined what it would be like if she were the one to lose Regina. She couldn’t imagine a world without them. She needed them, just as much as they needed her.

Even if she were to lose, the least she could do was _try._

As much as the hurt remained, she was done playing the victim. That was what he had wanted.

Not anymore.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and let the room come back into focus. No one had moved and had held their breath for the entirety of Emma’s thought process. After a few paces, she leant both palms on the kitchen counter and bowed her head. A few deep breaths later she pushed back up. Fighting the demons inside her mind was going to be difficult. But, it could be done.

Emma nodded and caught Regina’s gaze head on. She stared back with apprehension, uncertain which road Emma was going to take. Then a smirk pushed on Emma’s lips and although somewhere inside still fought against her, made her limbs heavy and muscles ache, she took every ounce of strength which remained.

“Let’s fight.”

Her stomach clenched at the words, but as Regina’s smile spread, Emma’s body relaxed. Snow and David let out a consecutive breath. Henry bounced back into the room and plonked down on the chair.

“We can do this,” Regina said, shut the door and met Emma in the middle of the room.

Emma intertwined their fingers, hands conjoining near their hips and pressed her forehead to Regina’s. They both sighed and closed their eyes, forgetting they had an audience. “If I survive, then…I know what I want.” Their fingers squeezed tightly together and after a moment where Emma took the feel of her in, she pulled her head away. “I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through.”

Regina shook her head, unable to be mad when Emma’s hands were pressed to her own. She wanted to kiss her, her lips demanded she lean in and connect their lips in pepper light kisses then something more searing. Until Henry cleared his throat, that being the last thing he would want to see. Emma chuckled and they both turned to the sound.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Snow said, biting down hard on her grin. As naïve as she was at times, she hadn’t been oblivious.

With their hands still joined, Emma bit her lip and rested the side of her head on Regina’s shoulder, eyes not leaving her mother. “Mom, I’m…gay.” It remained terrifying. As much confidence as she’d had in the moment, faded as she dropped her eyes, cheeks flaming.

Snow frowned and chuckled at the same time, “I can see that.”

Henry spun on his chair, hand twisted over his body to grip onto the back of it. “Mom, I didn’t know…that’s so cool. Moms, we’re the best family ever!” He perked up in his chair and decided to fill in the blank looks on his grandparents’ faces. “Well, mom’s gay and mom’s bi and I’m ace, so-” he spun his head around and gasped, “we should go to pride. Mom we could go back to New York for a trip. We always said we wanted to go back and we could all go as a family.”

Regina wrapped one arm around Emma’s shoulders and laughed at her son’s enthusiasm. “Maybe one day, Henry.” Perhaps that could be the trip she had wanted to whisk them away on. Not what she had thought up, but she could imagine it would help Emma.

Emma closed her eyes and sighed into Regina. Their hands were still connected to Emma’s right, her other arm hanging loosely around Regina’s waist. There was no need to ask her mother any more questions. The reassurance she had been craving, the rejection she had been fearing, all began to fade now a tiny seed of fight had been plant.

“I would like that,” she muttered, more for the _family_ part than anything else, “I’m so proud of you Henry.”

“And I’ve been thinking,” Regina said directly to her son and to Emma as well. It was good for them to plan for a future, no matter what was to happen. “In a few weeks, once everything’s settled. There’s a dog shelter not far out of town, maybe we could go take a look.”

Emma popped her head up at that, “we can get a dog?”

“Mom, are you serious?”

“You two better keep your promises, but…we can get a dog.” Emma darted off before she even got a chance to kiss her temple. Regina rolled her eyes as she plonked on the chair next to Henry and ruffled his hair. Gods, she had missed her…missed her being so care free and child-like and that stubborn streak that saw her determined. Emma looked up and their eyes connected long enough for Regina to see them sparkle in ways which had been sourly lacking.

“I cannot picture a dog in that mansion of yours,” David said and smiled to Regina. It said a lot, more that a lot; their past remined complicated, but they had come such a long way, he would be happy to see them together. Seeing Emma act like this for these past few minutes, reminded him so much of how their early relationship developed. They could be as bad as each other at times, but it had helped them bond before they’d moved onto the more serious parts. He nodded once, which was enough for them both.

“I think it’ll be cute.” Snow looked back and forth between the three of them, the family which had been right under their noses the entire time.

Regina walked over to the group, smirked at Snow and David; her own form of payback and went over to the dining room chair Emma was sat on. She looped one arm around her neck and swung her legs to sit across her lap. Emma was quick to wrap her arms around Regina and snuggle closely, “I’m already liking this.”

“Okay…guys, I’m happy for you both, but could you not do that whilst I’m here? It’s gross-” he wrinkled his nose and was grateful that hadn’t reached the kissing stage. Yet.

“You get to snuggle with Violet,” Emma pointed out and flashed a toothy smile at her son, “I’m going to snuggle with Regina if I want to.” The sound of her voice was that of a child not getting their own way. Regina couldn’t help but chuckle. She almost joined in…almost, then remembered at least one of them had to be the adult.

Regina leaned close to Emma’s ear, “we’re going to have a lot to talk about tomorrow,” she whispered, “but let’s just enjoy this.”

Emma nodded against her, because no matter what part of her demand she fade into nothing, another part came out stronger. She had finally gotten this, she wasn’t about to lose it now.

“We’ll have forever,” she whispered back.


	22. Chapter 22

They had been out in the forest since dawn the following morning. Regina had thrown every offense spell Emma had ever heard of and then some, whilst expecting Emma to block and throw magic back. Regina had been going easy on her, telling her how to defend herself before throwing flimsy magic which wouldn’t hurt tiny defenceless creatures and pausing every so often to help with techniques. Then they’d switched to sword fighting. Regina had placed a magic spell over them both, which saw to it the swords could cut right through them without injury.

Emma spun, the sword held in both hands and directed the sword as if to slice through Regina’s gut, who promptly blocked it with her own. The metal scraped together as Regina twisted at an angle to lift Emma’s sword above her head. Emma pushed her feet into the ground and grunted as she shifted all her weight into pushing it back down. Regina took a step to the side. Emma spiralled forwards and in a split second, Regina hit the sword against Emma’s back and wafted a hand to cushion her fall.

“Again.” Regina panted just as much as Emma, clothes sticking to her and sweat rolling down her back. Emma didn’t move, the sword had fallen besides her aching body, both palms pressed into the ground next to where her face lay against it. She took the opportunity to catch a few breaths, before she rolled herself onto her back with a groan.

“Gimme a minute.” She brought her knees up and rested her feet flat on the ground, hands resting on her stomach, on top of the sweat drenched tank top. Emma peeped up from where she lay to sneakily check out Regina. A black sports bra, tight yoga pants and a pair of trainers Emma hadn’t even known she owned, was all Regina had put on. Emma sat up and flung her top over her head to reveal much the same.  

Regina placed both hands on her hips and looked down, “you’ve had enough time ogling, now get up.”

“You like it.” Emma fired back a cheeky grin, but as Regina offered a hand so took it with another groan. Her muscles rippled in turn as she stood, legs wobbling as she put weight on them. Hobbling, she sat down on a fallen tree trunk and placed her head in her arms, “need a few more minutes.”

“We don’t have a few more minutes, Emma.” Regina grabbed the water bottle which magically refilled with chilled water each time it was emptied and handed it over. “Take a drink then get back up.”

Emma flung her head back and squirted the liquid into her open mouth. She spat some back out then repeated the action, guzzling for all she was worth. She hadn’t done this much of a workout in a long time. She made a mental note about getting back into a routine. Then realised… “son of a bitch.”

Both hands pushed from the rough bark and she was up and raring to go. Shaking both hands out in front of her, she made her way over to where Regina stood in the open clearing. She frowned, “care to explain?”

“Hook.” It was all the explanation she needed. Her workouts had seemed like an interference to their time together, so they had slowly fizzled out with each protest. Regina simply nodded and went to grab for her sword. Emma shook her head, “can we switch back to magic?”

“If you want. Offense or defence?”

“Offense. I feel like strangling someone.” The magic infused together with the emotions as Regina paced backwards, smirk on her face and both hands up and ready to defend.

“Throw the best you got.” Regina would happily take a few blows if it meant Emma would learn. She doubted her magic would outsmart Regina’s defence and unfortunately, the protective magic extended to the swords only. “Remember, don’t take your eyes off me. The moment you lose me or lose focus, I’ll get the upper hand. If for any reason that happens, be prepared to switch back to defence, Swan.”

The name made Emma snarl. She threw both palms out and simply blasted magic to get feel for it. Regina matched it easily. “Is that the best you got,” she said and teleported behind Emma.

The bustle in the leaves had Emma spin and throw up a shield. Regina’s magic hit it and died. She dropped the shield, pulled her arms back and threw magic in the shape of a ball. Ones which were rock solid if they hit their target. Regina jumped out of the way of the first one and launched a giant web and caught the three Emma had thrown. “Not bad.”

Emma took a breath and lunged forwards, calling for…she tripped on the web and had to throw magic towards the ground so it would soften on her landing. “Ugghh,” she moaned and pulled herself up on her hands and knees. The ground began to shake and Emma didn’t need to look to know what was the cause.

Both eyes closed and she dug her fingers into the mud until it clawed its way beneath her nails. The quaking earth flew out from underneath her and went straight for Regina. Not expecting it, she altered course, jumped into the air as the ground shook and lifted, as if something had gotten beneath the ground and was running at high speed, the ground lifting and falling in waves.

“Get up. As much as you’re an idiot, you’re also smart and think quick on your feet. You can use that and we can harness that this week. Now I’m not going to repeat myself again, Miss Swan, get up before I throw enough magic at you, you’re not going to be able to get out of bed tomorrow. Then I’ll drag your ass into these woods for more practice.” She wouldn’t, not that she needed Emma to know that. There was also a little potion she had yet to mention. That would come at the end of the day.

Emma rolled back onto her back, panting heavily. The sun was high in the sky and her stomach grumbled. They’d been at this for hours and she had lost count on how many times she’d had to go pee behind a bush. She did suppose the laugh she had gotten at Regina’s face after Emma had pointed out there was no toilet earlier that morning, was worth every it every time. “Need…some water.”

Regina rolled her eyes. Emma looked back up as she turned and leant over to grab the bottle. A gleam of sweat covered her body and Emma licked her lips as Regina spun back around. Her stomach wasn’t as defined as Emma’s, but it was toned and the way each muscle tensed with her movements made Emma drool.

Aware she had Emma’s attention; she did have to admit she loved every second of it, Regina swayed her hips as she came closer, took a long gulp of the remaining water and after it had filled itself, lifted it and tipped. One hand on her hip and a rather evil smirk set on her lips as she water splashed down over Emma’s face. She reactively threw a hand over her eyes and flinched. “What the…?”

Emma was up in under a second, eyes glaring at Regina. Without any warning, she felt for the annoyance Regina had caused, bent both elbows into her chest and let her wrists flop. She took a deep breath in then as the oxygen left her lungs, she flickered both wrists up and called magic. Water flew into the air and drenched Regina on the spot. It was as if a massive bucket had fallen over her head. Hair stuck to her face and each inch of her was soaked. Those browns eyes, water droplets collecting on her eyelashes, looked up with fire.

“Oh…no…Miss Swan.” Regina pounced and wrapped Emma in her arms. Half giggling, half wriggling, Emma tried to break free, but after a moment, decided Regina’s arms were worth the discomfort. She wrapped her own around Regina’s waist and sighed.

“You look good wet.” Emma popped her head up in time to see Regina’s eye roll. How much fun it was to make Regina blush. She pecked her cheek, unable to resist.

“Come on,” Regina reluctantly pulled back then gave Emma’s arms a brief squeeze, before letting go entirely, “we have work to be done. And, I have an idea.”

“Does that idea involve lunch?” Emma’s chest continued to heave and she placed both hands on her hips, stance wide and smirked at the eyes which dropped to her stomach. Regina looked back up and licked her lips. Emma raised a brow, glad to see Regina was just as effected as she was.

“Soon.” Regina sauntered forwards and placed both hands on Emma’s hips, “stand firm, tuck your arms into your chest.”

Emma swallowed, the urge to close the small distance to those lips strong. She cleared her throat and looked directly into Regina’s eyes, those hands on her hips so warm compared to the water dripping from her. In all fairness, the heat saw to it the water had dried quickly enough. “Okay, got it.”

Regina squeezed her hips, “tense here-” grabbed Emma’s triceps, “and here. Then I want you to throw the water like you just did, but I want ice, Emma. Throw shards of ice. Keep tensed as you’re doing it, as if your body is freezing the water.” On Emma’s nod, she pulled away and walked out of Emma’s line of sight.

Emma felt the water build in her body and kept her mid-section and arms tensed. On a deep breath, she flickered her wrists and grunted as the water left her fingers. As it did, her abs squeezed forcefully and the water shifted into ice, breaking off and creating the shards Regina had wanted. They landed in quick succession in the ground.

Emma looked at the melting ice in disbelief, “I did it.”

Regina smiled briefly and nodded. The strict mentor returned in an instant. “Again. This time throw more and throw them further. See that branch over there-” Regina pointed to a long branch which lay about twenty feet away from Emma, “I want you to hit that. When you can do that, I want them to land in the ground just after the branch. If you manage that, land them in a line along the branch.”

Emma looked between the branch and Regina. The distance she could probably manage with a few attempts, but having them land in an exact spot, forget it. “You do know I don’t have access to my full magic, right?”

“I’m well aware, my dear. Now stop moping and _try_ Emma. It’s not going to happen on your first attempt, maybe not even your fiftieth. But it’s not going to happen if you stand there and tell me you can’t do it.” Regina made her way back over to Emma as she pouted, knowing full well Regina was right.

“Alright, I’ll try.”

Regina kissed Emma on the cheek and squeezed a bicep, “good, I’ll go make us some lunch. When I come back I expect you to have made progress.”

Emma simply nodded and exhaled deeply. She wasn’t fond of being left alone, slightly paranoid that the advanced warning had been a trap, but the grumble had her shake the thoughts away. “Please bring lots of food, I’m starving.”

Regina chuckled then teleported away. Emma moved into position. “Okay, you got this. I can beat her. I just have to try.”

She shuffled her feet and bended both knees, arms back into the previous position. A few attempts saw to it one or two shards could make the distance, but they landed flat instead of the end pointing into the ground. Emma huffed and closed her eyes. Focus; that would be what Regina would say. It took a few minutes, but as she opened her eyes, she pulled her arms back behind her then swung them forwards as quickly as she could manage. It made her arms ache, but the ice which flung free travelled the distance and then some. She smiled, took a sip of water and continued.

By the time Regina had returned, Emma could get one or two shards into the ground at a time. They looked like mini-javelins, though most lay flat and melted into the ground. Emma hadn’t been aware of Regina’s return. She stood behind Emma for a few moments and watched.

Emma twisted to the side this time, after she’d remembered how Elsa would use her magic then flung both arms out to create the ice. The shards flew in one direction, an improvement from her first attempt then some landed in the position they were supposed to. Most didn’t make it that far or fell mid-air, but Regina walked up behind Emma and kissed her neck. “I’m impressed, I didn’t think you would’ve mastered the distance this quickly, never mind them landing as they are.”

Emma spun and circled Regina’s neck with a smile. “Hi,” she said, eyes diverting to the basket Regina carried, “can we eat now?”

“Of course.”

She laid out a blanket for them and they both took a seat, “I want you to practice that all week. If done correctly, you could create a barrier around the Dark Swan. It won’t last long, but if you need a moment to catch your breath or figure out your next move, it should work wonders and no doubt throw her off for a second or two.”

“Yeah, do you think I could get them to land in a circle?” Emma dug into the sandwiches immediately, moaning as the food hit her mouth.

“It’s possible, difficult to learn in the time frame, but with enough determination, then yes, Emma. You could certainly do that.” Emma hummed and the rest of their time eating was filled with mindless chatter. At one point, Emma shuffled over and leant into Regina’s side as they ate. Regina kissed the top of her head and Emma twisted her head and smiled up.

By the time they had gotten back to it, Emma had grown bored of the ice and looked to Regina with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Teach me fire.”

The words were close to seductive as Regina heard them. Both brows shot up, “fire, are you sure you can handle it?” The words hadn’t left before she’d made her way to Emma, circled one arm around her waist and stood behind her, “fire can be linked to desire,” she whispered and Emma shivered in her arms.

“I can handle it.” Emma wasn’t so sure the moment Regina wrapped her other arm around Emma’s waist. Both of her palms lay flat against her quivering stomach. Regina pressed her breasts to Emma’s back and she thought she was done for.

“I want you to feel the desire in the pit of your stomach.” Regina curled her fingers over where her hands rested to insatiate her point. Emma let out a small moan as Regina tightened her hold and shoved her hips into Emma’s behind, “feel it pool in your stomach and imagine it collecting like a sphere.”

Emma simply hummed and closed her eyes, the magnitude of sensations were overwhelming, but incredible. The feel of Regina mixed in the with heat of her magic made her want to turn and pounce. The energy increased between the pair as Regina began to roll her hips. “Feel it,” she whispered and tilted her hands so her fingers pointed downwards.

Emma’s chest heaved and her stomach clenched of its own accord. She tilted backwards and willed Regina with her mind to go lower, forgetting they were in the middle of the woods. As if it had worked, Regina slid her palms over Emma’s gleaming skin and danced her finger tips where material met skin. Although tempted, she wasn’t about to take it anything further. They would need more time for that and Regina wanted to do this right.

The teasing wouldn’t hurt.

“I can feel something alright.” Emma tried to focus, but all she could feel was Regina everywhere. Twisting her head, she buried it in the crook of Regina’s neck. They began to sway and Emma had never felt so incredible.

“Focus. Can you feel the magic?” On a sigh Emma pulled herself back up and lifted her hands like Regina had done so many times. The desire flared inside and she imagined the emotion collecting in her stomach like Regina had asked. On a nod, Regina moved her head closer, “I want you to imagine that sphere heating up and travelling through your veins. Down your arms and through your hands. Fist them.”

Emma clenched her hands and nodded, already doing as Regina had asked. She closed her eyes and Regina kissed her neck with the lightest of touches. “You can’t close your eyes in the middle of a fight. Focus.”

“I won’t have you wrapped around me either.” Emma kept them closed and imagined everything Regina had said. The desire didn’t lesson, not when Regina continued to very languidly roll her hips and dance her fingers just above the material. She opened both palms and a little fizzle happened…then died. She tried again, several times, to no avail. “You’re too distracting.”

Regina had to bite the inside of her cheek as she stepped around Emma. Both palms held in the air, she took paces backwards as if to surrender and pulled off the most serious face she could in that moment. “Fine. If you don’t want my help.”

“You’re mad at me, come on, I can’t concentrate with you all over me. I get what you’re trying to do, but all I can feel is you. Everything else be damned.” Emma certainly had to tamp down on her desires and with a quick wave, sent her own water over her head. It chilled her to the bone, but did the trick.

“Need a cold shower, dear?” Regina’s voice mocked to the point Emma could tell she was never angry. It made her groan in frustration, because maybe with a little bit of persuading they could’ve taken a break to make-out. Emma would not say no to that.

“Yes, because you’re freaking hot, Regina and I need to concentrate or so you keep telling me.” Both hands went to her hips as she huffed. Regina let go of the fake annoyance in an instant and simply stared at Emma’s honesty. The compliment was nice, but a few months back she would never had admitted that out loud.

“As are you.” Regina took a breath to push down on her own desires and then thought it best they take a new tactic. “This time, we’ll use a different emotion. Anger.”

“Like you used?” Emma seemed a little more sceptical this time, but the question was without judgement.

“Yes, but-” she sighed and placed both hands on her hips, “magic isn’t good or bad, okay? It just…is, what we choose to do with it, that’s what defines us as a person. Same with our emotions, there is nothing wrong with feeling anger, feelings are our feelings and using that anger and using it to create magic will not make you a bad person. It won’t make you like…” her eyes drifted away-

“I didn’t mean you, Regina.” Emma felt a slight pang of guilt, because she had been advocating for their merge since stumbling across the potion.

“I know, but I’ve seen your hesitancy in other aspects. Anyway, what I want you to do, is think of something which makes you angry and you, of all people, should have an abundance of things stored up and then take it, fester it, feed on it and use it to call fire. Imagine what I just told you, but as you do, imagine your hands are heating up and when you call the fire, don’t let go of the anger.”

Emma nodded and took a pace backwards. A few wipes of her hands down her legs and she shook them out and felt ready to go. She closed her eyes and tried to pick a memory, unsure which one to use. She ran though recent events and one stood out. The one thing she hadn’t gotten angry over. On a nod, green eyes opened and stared. The emotions built in her stomach, crawled up her veins and as she focused on the anger she’d buried, a small fire appeared in both hands. She smiled at it and it vanished.

“Good. Now this time, no good thoughts, the moment a good thought enters the fire will die. In time, you’ll learn how to call it in an instant, but for now, mixing the two won’t work. Hold on to the memory and the collective anger.” It was one of the reasons Regina hadn’t taken this route first. It was easier by all accounts, but the anger in Emma was insubordinate and had begun to surface at unexpected times.

Emma did the same again and this time, when the fire appeared she held onto it. The memory plagued her thoughts and it caused her emotions to shift. As the anger faded, the fire did too and her arms dropped by her sides. The aching spread throughout her body and she placed her head in her palms, “just give me a sec.”

“No. What memory did you think of?” Regina would pull Emma out before she drowned. It wasn’t going to happen on her watch.

Emma shrugged and spoke into her palm, “nothing,” the sound coming out as a muffled echo. After a few moments where nothing happened, Emma let her arms drop and spun in search of the fallen tree trunk. Sitting down her shoulder sagged, “I’m done.”

“No, you’re not.” Regina walked over and sat beside her, “tell me about the memory, what’s gotten you from angry to defeated?”

Silence engulfed them at Emma’s refusal to talk. Not that Regina minded, she had all day and if working through some of Emma’s issues passed into their practice, then so be it. Regina wanted to tug her under one arm and offer comfort, but realised this was something Emma had to work out on her own.

Emma sighed and placed her elbows on each knee, “my parents.”

“What about them?” It hadn’t been what Regina had expected. Any number of things could’ve made that list before them.

Emma sighed, glanced at Regina and remembered who it was she was talking to. This may not be a session with Archie, but she felt safe. Safer than she ever had with anyone. “When I found out they could’ve gotten me as a kid, I didn’t even flinch.”

Regina took a moment to digest the information, crossed one leg over the other and twisted so she could better face Emma, “I still can’t believe your mother woke up during the curse,” she said, to buy them both a little time and she was still miffed. That day she had noticed something was up with Mary-Margaret, but they’d fooled her before she’d found out what.

Emma chuckled, “she woke my father and they opened a door to see me, all under your nose.” Regina tried for a smile in return, but the hint of laughter died down and Emma kept her face neutral, “they could’ve gotten me.”

“And you’re angry about that?” Regina asked softly, wanting to prod, but keep Emma in a headspace where they could continue for this next week.

“I didn’t feel anything when I found out. I told her that I understood, that they left me so I would become the saviour.” There wasn’t even a second where her own emotions came into the mix. There was no reason why logic and understanding couldn’t have existed alongside her own feelings. “I was with him, he’d just gotten back and proposed for a second time-”

“After he tried to burn his memories, ran, got stuck in a ship and somehow he didn’t have to apologise once.” It was safer to voice these thoughts now; Emma wasn’t trapped with him and her thoughts didn’t battle so much.

“Well, yeah, I already thought of that recently. It was so messed up how he could do anything and get away with it. I was just so…numb, at the time. I’m the saviour and that’s what was important. Not that it hurt like a bitch that my parents knew I was alone and still left me. I’m angry because of that and I’m angry because I didn’t feel a thing at the time.”

Regina wanted to throttle them. Then Hook; she regretted not using the chance whilst he was still here. “You’re allowed to be, Emma. I don’t know much about your childhood, other than it wasn’t easy, but I can guess enough to know that must’ve hurt.”

“It hurts more than I want to admit.” It really did and it was odd talking this over with the woman who had cast the curse in the first place, “you know I don’t blame you, just whilst we’re on this. I know we fought a bit not long ago, but…I don’t.”

“I’m as much to blame as them, Emma.” Regina could understand the difference, to an extent, though that blame had never really been placed on her and she couldn’t understand why.

“I do know you played a part , but it wasn’t personal between us.” Emma sat and put both hands on the trunk at the sides of each hip, “they planned it from the start and my mother was supposed to go with me, I get that too, but these are the people who always find a way no matter what. Until it comes to me. I had to have a crappy childhood and a bunch of shit I can’t deal with, because they couldn’t find a second way with me.”

Regina did see her point and it wasn’t as if she had even known of Emma’s existence until after she had already cast the curse. It had been about hurting Snow White, not the child she didn’t know about. There was a chance she would’ve hurt her if…she shook her head, not wanting to think about it, not when a very real Emma she did know was hear. “I feel awful for saying this, but I wouldn’t change any of it, for-”

“Henry,” they said in unison.

Emma gave her a brief smile, “I know, I wouldn’t change it either. Kind of makes me a hypocrite I guess, but I can’t help feeling like they cared more about me being the saviour than anything else.”

“I don’t think it was you being the saviour, more like they didn’t understand what you would go through and you would eventually help everyone.” Regina could see how that tied into the greater good, sacrifice one for the many and it would be a position she would’ve taken as queen. If it would be down to Henry being that one, the entire world could burn as far as she were concerned.

“Why should I have to be collateral damage for everyone else?” As Emma looked over, Regina saw the pain etched into her eyes and it did make her want to scream. Knowing what she did now, if she could’ve spared Emma and still gotten Henry…

“You shouldn’t have to accept it. They took away your choices and expected you to respect them the moment the curse broke. Even back then I could see how distant you were from them.”

“I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do about it. What’s the point in saying any of this to them when all they ever do is justify what they did? They don’t even try to understand it from my perspective. It’s their way or no one else’s. Gods, Regina, at least you and villains admit when you all do shitty stuff, I mean, my parents took Lily away from Maleficent. They caused her to lose her _child_ all because they wanted me to be good.”

“They still pose themselves as the hero of that story.” She did take a moment to appreciate Emma’s way of thinking, because all or nothing mentality, idealistic views which were right and wouldn’t waiver no matter what, could be just as harmful as evil. “But…if you can’t talk to them, I’m always here. If you do talk to them and they don’t take it well, I’m always here if you need somewhere to blow off some steam. I’m always up for a good rant about your parents.”

That earned a soft chuckle from Emma, “thanks, I’ll bare that in mind.”

“Next time you choose a memory, you need to own it or it’ll own you. Stick with this one and remind yourself you have every right to be angry. At all of it. No matter how much you understand, you’re allowed to hurt. Feelings aren’t wrong and if you can accept that, the control over your magic will be a lot easier.” Emma nodded along with her words then resumed her position of leaning forwards.

“The magic helps, actually. You know if I win this-”

“When.” Regina gave Emma a stern look.

“When I win this, after…could we still come out here? I think it might help me work through some stuff.”

Regina sighed, “of course, Emma and there’s so much more to learn too. We can simultaneously work through whatever it is you need help with and I can teach you so many things about magic.”

Emma twisted and squinted up at Regina, “sounds like a plan, I’d like that.”

Regina smiled then patted Emma’s shoulder, “come on, breaks over, we’ll try that again.” There was a loud groan, but Emma was up and ready to go. Even if she believed her body would be so sore tomorrow she wouldn’t be able to move. “Oh, and Emma, I’ll make up a potion later. Take it before you sleep and you won’t feel any soreness in the morning.”

“Wait,” Emma took a moment to process the information before she snapped her head towards Regina, “this has existed the entire time and you’re only telling me about it now?”

Regina shrugged, chuckled and backed up into the clearing, crooking a finger for Emma to follow.


	23. Chapter 23

“Henry?” Regina pushed the phone to her ear, body drenched in sweat to the point it had lost the sex appeal hours ago. Emma was much the same. Their bodies hurt, magic stores felt as if they had been depleted and all they wanted was a warm bath and hot food.

Emma spun from where she had been teleporting various objects, placed both hands on her hips and took deep breaths. She watched Regina intently, as her face morphed from curious to panicked.

“What do you…are you…well…Henry!” She couldn’t get a word in with his endless chatter and the worry had made it so her body felt fresh and rearing to go. “We’re on our way.”

Emma frowned as Regina ended the call. “What was…?”

Regina wafted her hand to teleport them back to the mansion. Emma landed, blinked a few times then placed a hand on her stomach. She had gotten used to it by this point, but after the gruelling practice she’d endured that day, the queasiness hit instantly. “Regina, a little warning next time.”

The mansion came into focus. As too did Henry and the queen, sitting side by side on the couch. Henry popped his head up the moment his mothers appeared in front of them and rolled his eyes, “you’re both so overdramatic. I’m _fine.”_

Regina preferred the word overprotective or cautious. It wasn’t like she didn’t have good reason where the queen was concerned. She squinted at the queen, “what are you doing here?”

“It’s a pleasure to see you too, Regina.” The queen gave Henry a brief smile and squeezed his shoulder before standing. The dress pooled around her legs and she had to bunch the sides in her palms to walk. Regina’s shoulders relaxed as Henry smiled back. He wasn’t hurt and had eventually began to stick up for the queen. That wasn’t something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by either of them and a small part of her was relieved the queen held enough love in her heart for their son.

Emma moved so quickly they hadn’t been expecting it. She completely stood in front of Regina, facing the queen. “Don’t you come any closer.”

“Such a warm welcome. At least I managed to teach Henry basic manners before it had been left to you two.” She scoffed and briefly wondered why she had bothered. For all their talk about her being wanted, they didn’t much show it.

“Emma?” Regina was…flattered and glad to see Emma back into action again. No matter how small it appeared to be. Just yesterday their roles were reversed as Regina had blocked the Dark Swan from being able to reach Emma.

“Last night you threatened Regina. You said you had been planning to kill her, tell me why I should be welcoming?” Emma felt it then, the anger. The world could freeze over before she let anything happen to Regina. It felt almost good, the confidence which had decided to inflate and the instincts to protect those she cared for. Instincts she hadn’t been able to trust, but in that moment, she had managed to rely on.

Regina placed a hand on Emma’s shoulder and squeezed, more than grateful for the support. “Emma, she can’t kill me.”

The queen huffed and rolled her eyes overdramatically, “do you really believe I would come into Regina’s own home and kill her in front of our son?”

The use of ‘our’ was recognised by them both. Emma glared, because she didn’t think she would, but for all they know she was playing them. “I tried with you and you repay me by going behind both of our backs. You’ve been working with her the entire time, helping her to kill me _and_ Regina. Give me one reason why I should trust-”

“Moms! Will you just shut up?” Henry pounced up and walked over to the queen. He stood by her and it had both Emma and Regina baffled. “Will you just hear her out?”

Regina moved so she stood next to Emma, wishing she could at least have had time to shower before all of this. “Fine. If you’ve gotten Henry on your side, then spill.”

The queen wafted one hand in the air. Purple smoke surrounded it and when it had disappeared, a pair of slippers appeared, “the portal I stole from Zelena. Maleficent can have it.”

“You’re…serious?” Regina glanced to Emma, who shrugged.

“I’ve destroyed the potion,” she said and looked directly into wide green eyes, “she’s been lying to me this entire time. I don’t like time wasters. I took away the main thing she needed to win this fight,” her eyes travelled the length of the pair, noting the clothing and state they were both in, “though I see you’ve been preparing.”

Emma stood rooted, unsure if she wanted to believe her or not. Henry beamed and wrapped an arm around the queen’s waist, who welcomed him and held him to her side. Regina glared and her breathing became shallow; had she…listened?

“Why would you do that?” Regina’s voice shook as she spoke. Both eyes flickered to Henry and his unwavering ability to see the good in any version of her. It warmed her heart, even more so as he glanced up to her with a smile.

“As much as I hate to admit it. You were right, we either live or we die. There is no in between, no matter how much power she may possess.” It had pained the queen a great deal to say it and Regina could guess at how much her pride had taken a hit. “Give these to Maleficent-” she handed the slippers over and Regina took them, still feeling the disbelief.

“What does that mean for me?” Emma crossed her arms, the stench of her sweat making her wrinkle her nose. If the fight she’d been exhibiting all day wasn’t enough, the thought of having full access to her magic by the time of the fight improved her mood and belief she could win.

“The potion will wear off quickly. You’ll have the entirety of your magic back with the next few days. You’re going to need it. She’s smart, quick and powerful. Add that to the dark one’s power and the darkness, she’s more powerful than even Rumple. If she were to ever gain your power, she would be lethal.” The queen had witnessed her ability on a handful of occasions. It fascinated her and the way the darkness enunciated itself within her, was more brilliant than even her mind could come up with.

“Lethal…how?” Regina noted Henry was in the room and didn’t much want him to have a conversation about how his other mother could be dangerous. If she counted as his mother. She didn’t much feel like discussing that possibility with Emma. She hadn’t much indicated her interest in their son and Regina found it easier to believe she had none.

“One step at a time-” the queen nodded to the slippers, “help Maleficent then we can talk.” She needed some time to collect her thoughts on the situation, still unsure of her decision to remain as entire person or not. Her darker impulses told her to stay split, whilst her instincts missed the parts Regina had gotten. “You should also know Zelena was planning to go back to Oz. It was one of the reasons I stole them.”

“Oz?” Regina frowned and mulled it over then put it into storage for her to bring up with her sister within the next few days. It wouldn’t do well to continually get off track.

“How do we know we can trust you?” Emma had been listening and didn’t know what to think. The Dark Swan couldn’t have more power than she had before the split. If she had gained more, she didn’t know how. It either meant she was lying, the queen was exaggerating or Emma was at a higher disadvantage than she believed.

“You don’t.” The queen smiled and a gleam over took her eyes. It reminded Emma so much of the Regina she had met not too long after the curse had broken. Wanting so badly to be a part of something, but too fearful with too much anger still residing within.

Emma tipped her head and lifted both brows, “well, I guess we’ll have to find out.”

“I told you,” Henry said, a little more pleased with himself, “mom wants to help.”

All their eyes swung his way. The queen’s heart melted and she kissed his head. Emma and Regina saw the sincerity of the moment and nodded to each other. It wasn’t as if they had many other options, whilst still being in desperate need of answers.

***

No matter how much room was in the vault, six women inside of it made it feel a whole lot smaller. The two of them had decided to meet Maleficent and Lily in the vault. The queen had insisted she come and Regina had dragged Zelena along in case there would be time to talk to her about the portal. With everything else going on, she didn’t want to take too much time away from Emma, but didn’t much want to stay in the dark where her sister was concerned.

They stood in an almost circle in the vault and the slippers were now in Maleficent’s hands. It took her a moment to comprehend, but as she looked back up to the queen and how she swallowed once their eyes met, she couldn’t help but pull her in for a tight hug. The queen jerked by the unexpected movement, but recovered quickly and wrapped both arms tightly around Maleficent’s waist.

“Thank you,” she whispered and held onto that giant dress and the body underneath as tightly as she could. Her dragon strength saw to it the queen had to take in a deep breath and hold it, otherwise she risked losing the comfort. Not wanting to show weakness in front of them, she had refrained from burying her face in her old lover’s neck, but had tilted her head and squeezed back all the same.

There were words the queen wanted to say. Words Regina had forgotten, but those which had come forefront and centre for the queen after the split. Maleficent had retreated during her darkest days and at the time the queen had perceived it as her leaving. She had been there after Regina had stolen the curse. For all it was worth back then, Maleficent had never left her side, not entirely. The words got jammed and instead of opening her heart she tugged on her a little harder and whispered, “Mal.”

Malefiecent pulled back and smiled at the queen, “now don’t continue to be your usual brooding self. Merge and be whole. You did not heed my warning with this curse and although-” her eyes briefly flickered to where Emma and Regina stood holding hands, “things may have turned out for the better, I was right in my initial assessment. If you want to be happy, both of you, this is the path you must take.”

The queen cleared her throat and pulled away, unable to look any of them in the eye. Emma turned and faced Lily, let go of Regina’s hand and smiled shyly, “I guess this is goodbye again.” They hadn’t spent much time together since her arrival and Emma found herself regretting it. The reasons were clear now, but their chance was also lost. “We never did go for drinks.”

“No-” Lily chuckled, a little nervous about the entire teleporting aspect, “but that’s alright, we got what we wanted in the end.”

“Yeah, I suppose we did.” Emma debated it for half a second, before she shook her head and yanked Lily into a hug. It wasn’t their way of things, but it could be their last chance. “Good luck in the enchanted forest without showers.”

“Screw you-” she pushed on Emma, for Maleficent to sway her hips and place a hand on Emma’s shoulder.

Malefiecnt smirked at her daughter and Emma in turn, “actually, with the knowledge and magic, I believe the plumbing won’t be an issue. We should have working showers within the week of arriving.”

If all would go to plan that was. Maleficent wasn’t sure how Lily’s father was going to react. They’d never even met in human form, but the nature of dragons are different in that respect. They had mated and created a child. It bound them and she did hope for a positive reaction. Either way, she would still be returning to the forest with her daughter, taking back her kingdom and building a life for them.

“See? Now my only reason for staying just vanished. It’s not like I have anything here going for me and mom needs magic to keep her alive.” Lily shrugged and Emma rolled her eyes. They both felt a little pang at their separation, mainly because of the history they shared and how it felt like it was repeating. “I’m sure there must be a way for us to keep in touch. Magic or something.”

“We’ll figure something out.” Regina was behind Emma and wrapped both arms around her waist. They hadn’t talked about if they were open to going public with the start of their relationship, but it would be difficult to hide from these women. Emma leant back and snuggled into her warmth.

Emma felt safe and so wanted in those arms. It gave her the confidence to look to Lily, “oh and you were right about me being exclusive.”

“Told ya. You kind of make sense though,” Lily looked between the two of them and tried to untangle the words in her head, “like you were always supposed to meet and Henry ties you and I dunno, it’s like a full circle.”

“Enough of this chatter.” Zelena walked over and joined them, feeling a little more than impatient. She still wanted that portal and wasn’t quite ready to be parted with it, but knew it had to go.

“Actually-” Regina pulled away from Emma, gave the queen a quick glance then grabbed Zelena’s wrist to direct her to the bottom of the stairs where no one could hear, “the queen told me you were planning to go back to Oz. Care to explain?”

Zelena’s eyes flickered to the portal without conscious thought, “no idea where she got that idea from. Maybe she’s trying to drive a wedge between us.”

“I don’t believe that and you wanting to go to Oz wouldn’t drive a wedge between us. You not being honest about it on the other hand…” she raised a brow and hoped Zelena would get the message.

In her usual flare, she huffed and crossed her arms, “why should I stay here? I’m out here all alone and I know I have Robyn, but it’s not the same as being around adults. No one wants me here and you never have time for me.” She might sound a little like she was whining, but it hurt. Whenever she would feel as if she were annoying or a nuisance; at least when she had been the villain those pesky feelings had been masked by jealousy.

It must’ve been the day for them. Regina had her arms around Zelena in under a second. It took the initial shock to wear off before Zelena relaxed and put her arms around Regina, chin propped up on her shoulder. “I do want you here. If you want to return to Oz then we can discuss it, but I would much rather you stay here.”

Regina pulled back and grabbed Zelena by her upper arms. The little smile Zelena tried to hide did get to Regina in the slightest.

“We’ll schedule some time-”

“You would say that and then never stick to it!”

“We’ll schedule some time,” Regina repeated and gave Zelena the tiniest of shakes, “make it a weekly thing. Have a time and a day and we’ll plan something every week. A coffee or a spa day or lunch, anything. We’ll find someone to take Robyn and we could even schedule a second day where we take Robyn to the park or a play gym. I want you in my life, Zelena.”

“You mean that?” The smile crossed her face in full bloom this time.

“Yes. We can start next week. Tuesday work for you?” It was one of the days Emma would have a session, so it would be the perfect time for some sisterly bonding. “We’ll see if Neal would like a weekly play date.”

“As long as I can teach Robyn some basic spells which will make life harder for that goodie-two-shoes.” Zelena wiggled her eyebrows thinking up all the mischief she could cause.

Regina smirked, but didn’t say a word. Her silence said it all and Zelena couldn’t help but chuckle when they made their way back to the group. “Are you both ready?”

Maleficent looked to Regina, not letting her get away with no hugs. They might as well. She walked over and engulfed her in strong arms. Regina hummed and let out a little smile, eyes squeezed shut as her body molded into the warmth Maleficent provided. The dragon making it so Regina felt as if she were being surrounded by a heated blanket.

“You deserve this.” Malefiecent believed it completely. She had seen some of the horrors Regina had had to endure as a young girl. Not once allowed to witness even a glimpse of happiness. The hatred she had bestowed upon herself after the cruelty had left her alone and broken.

Regina pulled away and shook her head at Maleficent. It was incredible what a good few decades could achieve. Or a good few years surrounded by the right people. “As do you, dear. I hope you and Lily find everything you’re searching for.”

As they broke apart, Malefiect went to her daughter and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Ready?” she asked to which she nodded, even if a little scared.

“The portal can be used multiple times. Use it to get to Oz, the enchanted forest, wherever you want to go.” Zelena still wasn’t happy about giving it away entirely. One looked to her sister saw her take a deep breath and let it go. “It’s yours.”

“Thank you.” Malefiecnt nodded to Zelena at the same time Lily offered her a smile.

“I guess this is goodbye,” Regina said and heard the slight quiver to her voice. Unsure of what this would bring, she made her way to where Emma stood, looking like a kicked puppy and pulled her into her side, giving her head a brief kiss.

Emma sighed into the embrace. This departure was bringing up all kinds of past feelings, some of the things she hadn’t dealt with, but wanted to start working through. She looked up at Lily at the same time Regina swirled her hands so the slippers were on Maleficent’s feet. They nodded to each other, not needing any more words.

“Good luck, dears.” The queen smiled briefly at them, unsure of what she wanted to say, but knew she wanted to say something. Maleficent smirked and raised a brow back, them communicating in a similar way.

On a deep breath, Maleficent grabbed hold of Lily’s hand. They twisted their heads to face each other and Maleficent’s smile, coupled with the gleam in her eyes as she took in her daughter had Lily smile back in earnest. The rest of the room fell away for them, even if four pairs of eyes were glued to them as their hearts simultaneously shattered and soared.

Maleficent tapped her feet three times and they disappeared in a cloud of grey smoke.


	24. Chapter 24

“I’m not going to stay long-” Emma spun in the middle of Archie’s office and debated on whether or not to take a seat, “I want to get back to my family.” The mention had Emma feel giddy inside, but she sobered quickly and composed her features.

“Of course,” he shut the door and made his way over to Emma, “I wasn’t sure if you were going to turn up, if I’m being honest.” He had heard about the encounter with the Dark Swan, it had spread around the town quickly enough and he hadn’t known if he would get to speak to Emma again before the battle would commence. He had considered a home visit, but thought it best for Emma to make the move.

“Yeah well-” she slid her hands into the pockets of her jeans and shrugged; she hadn’t known either, “I wanted to let you know I wouldn’t be having any of my sessions this week, but…I would like to continue, if that’s okay?” Emma had sat and thought about it the following evening after Regina had kicked her butt and they’d seen of Maleficent and Lily. Add that to the issues Zelena had been hiding, she had spent the night in bed stewing it over.

“Absolutely, I would be happy to help.” There were still a number of issues they’d only scratched the surface on and many that hadn’t begun to talk about. “I’m glad to see you’ve got some of your spirit back.”

“I’m gunna win this.” The voice inside screamed at her to give in and crumple on the ground, but she had managed to block it out since the evening in the loft and all she had to do was keep on ignoring it for the remainder of the week. “I have so much to live for and you know what-” she crinkled her nose as if the realisation she had only just thought of this was like a bitter taste. “I’m going to fight this for me.”            

Emma grinned and Archie returned it. It felt good to feel that fire inside. She’d had it for as long as she could remember. She welcomed it’s return. On more than one occasion it had kept her safe or had instincts tingle and had her deciding to remove herself from a situation which had the potential to be dangerous. It didn’t hurt that the fire inside was one of the reasons she had gone up against Regina at every turn after their initial meeting. “Regina’s been helping me, too.”  

“That’s wonderful, Emma. I am more than thrilled to see you take some control back. How is she helping, may I ask?” A little more than curious, he had to at least ask and if it helped Emma then he would be happy to know how it had.

“After our last session I was a little torn up. I went to Regina and she transported me into the woods and had me use magic to let go of some of my anger. And we’ve been practicing, magic and sword fighting and it kind of brought some stuff up. But, I-” both hands slid into her pockets and she shrugged, “I really like talking to her. She’s so accepting and understanding. I feel so safe.”

Archie smiled and nodded his head, “it’s not a popularity contest, I’m here for whatever you need. If you would rather talk to Regina about certain things, that’s entirely up to you. Have you…?”

Emma bit her lip, “I’m not really sure what we’re doing, but we’re sort of together. We haven’t even kissed yet, but I told her that I wanted her and I think we’re heading that way.”

“I’m very pleased to hear, Emma. Is there anything else you would like to discuss?” Archie glanced at the empty couch then back to Emma, the smile never once wavering.

“Next Tuesday-” Emma swallowed and it took her a second for her eyes to lift. Nerves were constantly on edge, but she had been managing them efficiently. Another deep breath and she laced her voice with confidence, “I’ll be here.”

“I do not doubt it for a second.”

Emma nodded and turned around, knowing Archie was holding back whatever it was he wanted to say. Well wishes or good lucks, but Emma didn’t want to hear those things. She walked to the door and Archie trailed behind, his thoughts remaining as they were. He smiled tightly as Emma glanced his way, eyes a mixture of fear and assurance. “See you next week.”

“See you next week, Emma.”

***

Snow engulfed Emma in a hug the moment she stepped into the loft. Content to be held, Emma sighed and let the hug stretch on. They swayed a little and Snow’s grip tightened, too scared this could be one of the last opportunities she would have to hold her daughter. It wasn’t as if they’d had that many to begin with. “Just a little longer.”

Emma nodded and held her arms tighter. It made it all too real, the visions, the prophecy of death, the hooded figure revealing themselves. Tears threatened to pour and the self-pity wanted to overpower and get her to mope about how the world was unfair. It wasn’t something she didn’t already know, however, and it had never stopped her before. She had to be the one to fight back.

Snow pulled back and grabbed Emma’s arms, taking a moment to simply breathe her in. It was like the first time they had met after the curse had broken. When Emma had felt as if a stranger had been holding her too tight. Only this time, she felt like the stranger trapped inside of the body of a person she used to know. There had been progress made in recent weeks and the Emma Swan she had once been was slowly crawling back into her veins. That didn’t mean she had to entirely revert back to that person.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Emma wrung her hands together as the pair made the way to the kitchen. Pushing down on feelings had been her speciality since the beginning of time, but it had to stop. Hard work and uncomfortable situations were likely to be a result of her impending honestly, but it ranked higher than a life spent in emotional turmoil.

“Oh?” Snow saw the uncertainty. She slid on a stool and Emma did the same. “You can always talk to me about anything.”

“Did you know I’ve been seeing Archie?” Emma leant both elbows on the table and sighed; it was as good a place as any.

“I…didn’t, when did this start?”

“A little after I broke up with Hook. I thought I needed some place to clear my head and get a grip on my thoughts.” She wasn’t ready to tell her she was so far from okay she could no longer pretend. That emotional damage had been inflicted upon her and she was far from sorting through the mess. “He’s been helping me and a few things have come up.”

“I’m proud of you for going to see him.” Emma smiled in thanks and Snow continued with apprehension in her voice, “what type of things?”

“Well-” Emma looked to the counter and took a deep breath, “just some stuff about us and dad, the both of you, really.”

A lump formed and her throat visibly bobbed. Already harder than she anticipated, Emma partly regretted bringing it up.

“About…me and your father?” Emma nodded, but did not look back up. The last thing she wanted to do was see pain filter into her mother’s eyes. “Did we do something wrong?”

Emma simply shrugged. That was a complicated question. Snow looked to her and a wave of guilt hit without warning. The reality of the situation had hit her the moment they’d gone back to the loft. She couldn’t believe she had been so ignorant and content to let Emma sit by and roll over the moment the vision was to occur.

“It’s not that you’ve done something wrong, but…”

“Emma, I want to say something first.” She gently cupped Emma’s cheek until she looked to her and smiled softly. “I’m sorry about how I initially reacted to these visions. I should’ve told you to fight. I should’ve known something was wrong the moment you were unwilling to do something about them. Our first memories together are of you going up against the Mayor when everyone had been afraid of her. I’m sorry, I love you and I’m so proud of you, Emma.”

Emma nodded and her bottom lip trembled. No words came, so she closed her eyes and leaned it to her mother’s touch, relieved she felt comfortable enough to accept the comfort. Snow tapped her cheek gently as she opened her eyes then retreated her hand. “I love you too, mom.”

Snow smiled on a sigh, it was always nice to hear. Especially after being separated for so long. “What changed between now and then? I’m already seeing some differences in you.”

“A lot, mainly Hook, I guess. He wasn’t good for me, but I didn’t see it at the time.” _The visions were my way of an out,_ remained on the tip of her tongue, but that was the type of thing she would share with Regina or Archie, not her mother. “I’d lost my spirit,” she settled for instead, “I’d forgotten how to fight for me.”

“Archie’s helping you with that?”

“Yeah and Regina.”

“Regina?” Snow raised a brow, glad for Emma to bring up the topic, “what exactly is going on between you two? And before you say anything, I’m happy for you both. I thought there was something more between you for a long time.”

Emma needed a second to take that in. A chuckle followed, “I’m not sure. I have feelings for her and her me, but we…I messed things up between us a while ago. There’s not been much time to talk about what’s going on, but I’m going to take her out on a date next week.” Emma flushed in an instant and couldn’t help the grin which spread.

“Make sure it’s fancy. Regina has high standards.”

“Yup! I already know where I’m taking her.”

Snow only had to give her a look for Emma to share.

“There’s this outdoor restaurant a little drive from town. It’s kinda like a huge gazebo, but the cover is see through and if the sky is clear the stars cover the sky. The entire outside is lighted with these fairy lights and there’s candles everywhere. I drooled as I read the menu. Then there are gardens behind the restaurant, slightly enclosed but still safe and lighted. We can take a walk through them and I’ve looked at the pictures mom, it’s so romantic.”

Emma was giddy with the thought. She was certain Regina would love it and if everything went to plan, there was a large swing inside one of the gardens. She wanted to pull Regina into her lap and hold her under the stars. She’d planned it right down to the kiss. The twinkle she hoped she would find in Regina’s eyes. By the way Snow had clasped her hands and placed them over her heart, it seemed she was on board too.

“Regina will love it.” Snow’s breath shuddered; Emma appeared more enthusiastic about one date than she had the entire time they’d been planning the wedding. The guilt hit all over again, at how little she really knew her daughter.

“I hope so. But…erm…could we get back to what I wanted to talk to you about?” The smile fell, replaced instead with Emma biting into her lip so hard she tasted blood. Snow nodded and waited for Emma to continue. She took a deep breath. “There’s some stuff I haven’t dealt with. I might understand more now, but all I knew for almost three decades was that my parents had given me away-” her lip quivered as she looked her mother directly in the eyes, “I still haven’t forgiven you.”

Snow looked away and nodded, because hearing those words out loud was far harder than either of them could’ve imagined. It wasn’t like they shouldn’t have known. If the underworld and everything they had witnessed in Emma’s faux-house was anything to go by, it was evident issues remained where her childhood was concerned. “That’s okay.”

The answer startled Emma. Where she had expected excuses and justifications, came…that. Unable to figure out where the shift had come from, she stared at her mother until she gave her a watery smile and looked to her daughter.

“I’m not saying I like it, because I don’t want you to feel that way, but if I’ve learnt anything recently, it’s that sometimes I don’t always know what’s best for you. We’ve made some progress with that, both me and your father, but I didn’t see you were unhappy and I’m your mother. I’m supposed to know you better than anyone. I want us to get to a good place, Emma. More than anything, I do. No matter how we have to get there, I’m willing to do it.”

“Okay,” Emma said in the smallest of voices, not yet able to process a word of that. It felt good though, to be heard and really listened to. Perhaps the time with Hook wasn’t wasted after all. If it meant Emma was finally willing to really deal with her issues, no matter how hard that would be and her mother was just as willing to do the same, then some good could come out of it.

“I was thinking maybe we could spend some more time together. Me and you, some motherly bonding over coffee or a grilled cheese at Granny’s.” Snow smiled at Emma’s little smirk. “I want t get to know you and we’ll find a way to talk and deal with all of this.”

“I’d like that.” As much as she sometimes wanted some time away from her parents. The little girl inside desperately craved their attention. It was a step in the right direction and there was a long way to go, but Emma had faith they could get there.

***

The sweat was constant and no matter how many times she had showered in these last few days, it returned in an instant. Regina wasn’t very forgiving and would encourage Emma to practice many times a day. They both had swords in their hands, hitting them to create an ‘x’ as Emma’s feet shuffled backwards. They alternated course, so Emma’s feet shuffled forwards as the swords made the same rhythm and Regina was pushed back.

“Hold,” Regina said, their swords staying put in mid-air. Arms strained to push against each other as chests rose and fell. Emma gritted her teeth and alternated so she used both hands and pushed down hard on the sword. Regina’s arm fell and she twisted her hips to catch the impending blow which would’ve sliced into her side. Their swords clanked and Regina took advantage of the angle of Emma’s body, throwing her arms up to push Emma backwards and directed the tip of her sword at Emma’s stomach, ready to thrust.

Emma jumped backwards, grunted and swung the sword from beneath her so the side of it caught Regina’s sword before it could go further. She continued to lift, arms straining from their continuous use and caused Regina to stumble backwards. Emma teleported behind her, sword pointing outwards towards the back of Regina’s neck, but she was quicker to spin and block it.

“You’re improving.” Regina smirked as both their arms fell to their sides, their subsequent swords clashing to the ground.

Emma panted, placed both hands on her knees and gave Regina a cheeky grin. Having her magic back was a bonus. A very welcomed one at that.

“Jog to that tree and sprint back. Five times. Now!”

Emma muttered something under her breath, but took off. The workouts were killing her, but the potion she took every night made it so she woke up fresh and ready to go.

“Make it eight. Don’t mutter something about me again, Miss Swan.”

Regina grabbed a drink whilst Emma ran. She was in need of a longer break, they both were, but a little extra push before they took one wouldn’t hurt. She’d intended for them to switch back to magic before lunch. A few spells came to mind as Emma sprinted back for the third time, arms and legs pumping in determination. On her sixth, Emma’s legs wobbled and her face was flushed.

“If you had done as I had asked, then you could’ve finished by now.” Emma gave her a look as she jogged back for the seventh time, utterly spent. At the tree, she leant a hand against it to take a second before sprinting back. Regina sighed then raised her voice so it would carry to Emma, “walk back dear, come get some water.”

Emma sagged against the tree and fell to the ground. The water sounded appealing, but she doubted her legs would make it that far. Regina frowned, picked up the bottle and made her way to Emma.

“Hey,” she said and took a seat on the ground, “you okay?”

“Yeah.” Emma took large gulps of the water then threw some over her head. “Need to catch my breath, legs feel like jelly.”

“I know you’re tired, but you seemed fine when we were sword fighting. Did I push too hard?” Regina had been taking careful note of Emma’s tells. Already capable of reading her well, it hadn’t been too hard to know when she needed a good push or when she would be reaching her limit. As far as Regina could tell, Emma was no where near her limit, hence the extra added cardio to induce her endurance.

Emma shook her head and let it fall against the tree, “I’m tired, but my mind took a dive when I was running and as it did my body kinda gave up, too.”

“Talk to me,” Regina said softly, “we have three more days until this fight and I intend for all of us to go home afterwards.”

“No matter how much I fight, we can’t win. It’s like the queen, it would be impossible for her to kill you without dying herself. I can’t do anything and we can’t simply fight until one of us runs out of energy.” It had been running around Emma’s mind for a little while, but as her lungs burnt from the running, it had brought it to the centre.

“We will find a way. There are so many books we have yet to read through. We’ll take some home, so by the time Henry finishes school we’re not still out here.” That had been a fight itself, because Henry wanted to spend every waking moment with his mothers. They couldn’t blame him, but neither did they want him out here whilst they practiced. It was a compromise. They fought whilst he was at school and spent time with him in the evening.

“Even if she wasn’t the dark one, I couldn’t kill her. She’s…me and I know everyone else doesn’t want me to kill her because of the same reason. What does that leave? I don’t even know if it’s the same as you and the queen. We might exist the same, but she seems to think she can kill me and come out fine.”

“I know it’s awful being in the dark, but we will find our answers.”

At that exact moment, purple smoke intruded into their space, followed by the queen. She stood to the side of them and offered one of her most sincere smiles, “maybe I could help with that part.”


	25. Chapter 25

Just before they reached the vault, Emma grabbed Regina’s arm and pulled. She spun on impact, “what the…” she frowned and paced forwards, “hey-” a hand cupped Emma’s cheek, “are you okay?”

Green eyes closed and leant into the touch, head nodding as she sighed. Both hands trembled by her sides and her breath shuddered. “Just…need a minute.”

“Everything’s going to be okay, Emma. Come here-” arms wrapped around Emma who gladly fell into the embrace. Regina rubbed down her back and swallowed the lump. She didn’t know what was going to be her reality by this time next week, but revealing an inch of apprehension would only halt Emma’s progress, “whatever she tells us is going to be of use. Knowing more will only serve to help us.”

It took every bit of will power within Emma to nod and pull back, looking directly into eyes which had already lost so much. Both pairs of eyes connected and they gravitated closer like magnets. Eyes flickered to lips and tongues darted out to wet them. The clench hit Emma’s stomach as a little smirk curled Regina’s lips. Breath hit her lips. Their eyes still hadn’t left each other’s. Emma’s hands squeezed Regina’s waist as she went to close her eyes.

Purple smoke appeared. Followed by the queen rolling her eyes, “if you two love birds are quite finished.”

Emma groaned and let her head fall to Regina’s shoulder. The urgency to kiss her had been growing all week, but so far that had been their first real attempt. Emma propped her head back up. The queen diverted her eyes and had to clear her throat before she looked to them. It had Emma sigh and push away.

“Come on,” Regina said, “might as well get this over with.”

The three of them headed to the vault. Emma’s body remained tense as she took a seat on the bench. Regina sat down and the queen remained standing. She walked to them with both hands on her hips and took the deepest breath of her life. “I’ve decided I would like to merge.”

A hand went to Regina’s thigh as she opened and closed her mouth, “that’s not what…you…do?”

“Yes-” eyes flickered to Emma and she looked at her a little too long for it to be anything other than obvious, “if you’re going to stand any chance of winning. We need to be whole.”

“Any chance?” Emma asked, a shiver running through her body, “is there any way I can win this?”

“One thing at a time, dear.” The queen did not look to her as she spoke and it was that which gave the answer away. Emma shrunk and felt her heart plummet.

“The potion you mentioned, how long will it take to make?”

“About an hour-” Regina quickly regarded Emma, but focused her attention on the queen, “what changed your mind?”

The queen smiled softly and hummed from her chest, “I’m…miserable. I miss my son. I thought I could get what I want, but I’ve been played. I would’ve ended up dead in my attempts. If we remain split…I will remain miserable.”

Regina nodded slowly. They had both spent far too much time alone, without love and determined forms of terror would lead to happiness. It was about time they found a different path. Accepted the love and family which surrounded them and learnt to love what they saw in the mirror instead of breaking it on sight.

“I would be glad to have you back.” Regina tapped Emma’s leg then stood and made her way to the queen. Tenderly, she cupped her cheek and tipped her head, “I need you,” she whispered and pulled her into a tight hug. It felt odd, for the briefest of moments, until it didn’t, “and I love you.”

Emma watched the facial expression on the queen alter at the words. Her arms squeezed tighter and she tilted her head closer. For the moment, she would watch from afar, but as they pulled away Emma stood and made their way to them. She yanked the queen to her and held on.

“Don’t be an idiot for this long, in future. You are wanted.”

“You’re still the biggest idiot of us all, dear saviour.”

Regina chuckled, “she has a point.”

Emma rolled her eyes and when they pulled back, smiles were shared until the queen’s face fell. Letting go completely, she turned to Regina, “we can talk as you make the potion. Do you think you will get my memories?”

“I’m…not sure. It would be helpful, but don’t start missing things out just in case.” The queen looked to her in a way which had her take a moment to consider it and her other half. Regina squinted and tried to understand, when Emma walked away and plonked back on the chair. The queen kept her gaze and nodded slowly and somehow a meaning was passed between them.

“I think you will. If I understood what I read in the book, when you merge everything which has happened since being split will feel as if it had happened to you.” Emma closed her eyes and let her head fall backwards. There was a need for answers, but all she could think to do in that moment was crawl under her covers and not come out again.

“Emma.” Regina moved and stood directly over her. “Get up. Stop moping. I’m giving you ten seconds before I take you out into the woods and whip your ass. Don’t think I won’t.”

Next week she planned to shower her with love. Hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. Right now, the building her back up part remained rooted in being sharp and giving Emma something she desperately was in need of. She wasn’t about to go soft on her now or in the near future, but right now they did not have the time for Emma to be drowning.

When Emma didn’t move she let the annoyance fester. Both arms shot out straight, her hands clenched at the end, “now!” she barked.

Emma jumped out of her skin, but stood with wide eyes. “Alright, calm down. I’m up.”

“No, Emma. You are not.” Regina took a moment to think. How best to handle Emma she did not know? Fighting with swords and magic had been a great way at getting Emma to believe in herself again. There remained a part of Emma which would fall under at things she couldn’t quite pin-point. “What is it? Tell me what’s wrong?”

“There’s this fight which I might not survive coming closer and closer. What do you think?”

“Not good enough.”

The queen silently moved closer, stopping just behind Regina. She hadn’t been around to see any of this, but she found it curious. Emma had fallen so far down and only parts of her were being picked back up. If they put their heads together, maybe they could figure it out.

“What do you want from me?” Emma shook her head and pushed passed them, turning back around at the last minute. She shook her arms out in front of her then bounced on the spot, feelings inside all mixing together.

Regina looked to the queen then back at Emma. She only wished they had more time. Glimpses were one thing and she was prepared to work with Emma, Archie, her parents…anyone, for as long as it took. For right now, time was their enemy and she had no other choice but to push. “Not. Good. Enough.”

The queen crossed her arms and watched from a distance. Regina stalked closer to Emma and gave her a glare worthy of the queen. Emma looked away, arrogance at the core of her dismissal. It only angered Regina further. She grabbed a hold of her cheeks in one hand and made sure Emma looked to her. As soon as she did she let go, not wanting to hurt Emma.

“I don’t know! Just stop pushing me. We’ve been at this non-stop for days.”

“Not good enough.”

“Will you stop saying that? I don’t know, I just-” she shrugged and shook her head, “I don’t know.”

“I’ll say whatever I like. One minute you’re ready to fight and the next you can hardly keep your head above water. What changed? There must be something that does.” Regina was going to find out no matter if they had to get into a screaming match to do it.

Emma’s eyes flickered so quickly to the queen Regina almost missed it. Almost…but she didn’t. “What does any of this have to do with her?”

“Nothing. I’m scared of what she has to say. It’s nothing more than that.”

“Bullshit. I know you’re scared. There’s something else. Now tell me Emma. Or so help me god I will drag it out of you one way or the other.”

Emma crossed her arms, bowed her head whilst her chest shuddered. There had been no lies, she hadn’t known. Now she had mentioned the queen and how this feeling had only occurred one Regina had accepted herself, it became so clear. “I’m worthless.”

For a moment, the statement lingered. Regina’s eyes hollowed and she twisted her neck to regard the queen. How they fit into it she wasn’t to know, but she walked over nonetheless, them having experience with what that felt like.

“You really believe that?” The queen eyed her. What a difference the two of them made. The Dark Swan was the complete opposite to this Emma who stood and shrugged her shoulders, not once making eye contact with either of them.

“Emma…?” Regina closed both eyes and ran palms down her face. Thinking it about herself was one thing, but witnessing what it was like for someone else to believe the same was awful. All she wanted to do was hold Emma, but right now…it would only add to the feelings. “Answer the question.”

“Sometimes,” she whispered, “I know…people care, but I feel like no one wants me. That no one loves me or ever will. That I’m tolerated at best and ignored at worst. I would tell myself that I was okay with being alone, because it was never going to change. I had to be okay with that, because I didn’t deserve any of the love anyway.”

Regina placed a hand on the queen’s arm when she took a step forwards. She raised a brow in return, surprised to be the one who had caved. “You felt like this when you were alone for all those years?” Emma nodded and the queen moved back to the bench. “Didn’t that change when you came here?”

“I suppose. Henry wanted me-” she looked up with a watery smile, “he really wanted me around and no matter how wrong it was for me to stay. I couldn’t leave him. Then I made friends with Mary-Margret and I had a stubborn mayor to fight with.”

Regina gave a soft chuckle at that, “and boy did we fight.”

“Yeah,” she chuckled back then they both sombered.

“So…things changed for you? What about when the curse broke, did you believe your parents wanted you? Did you still feel this way?”

“It was hard. Accepting them, but eventually I did. The town wanted a saviour on top of that. I’d never felt so needed in my life. It was kind of terrifying, but once I got a hold of it. I…accepted it, I guess.” Regina nodded and considered, whilst Emma went over her own words. There was uncertainty as to whether the feelings had every gone away for good. Emma shook her head at herself, “I masked them. Buried them under the role of saviour.”

“When did they start to resurface?”

“As the dark one.”

That answer had been easy. The darkness allowed her to have access to every little feeling she had thought to have banished. Good or bad, the ugly truths of her existence.

“Really? I thought it would be the other way around. If I’m being honest. You were so much more caved in on yourself.”

“Yeah-” both eyebrows shot up at that, “for everyone else I was. For me...I felt everything. I think I could’ve gone either way.”

“Either way…?”

Emma shuffled a little as she considered her answer. Still not used to sharing this easily, it had been hard enough getting that much out. “I knew I had feelings for you…as the dark one.”

“Okay,” Regina said, drawing the word out and trying to keep her own feelings out of the equation.

“Remember at the well?”

Regina nodded, “yes, I remember,” then crossed her arms.

“If Hook hadn’t have pulled the dagger out of your hands I would’ve told you. It was the moment I realised what was going on in my head. Why the darkness was easier to handle than lighting that flame.”

“Your feelings for me?” Regina didn’t quite understand, but was willing to run with it, “so it wasn’t because of feelings for the pirate?”

“Yes and yes, it all tied in.”

“I don’t-”

“Just give me a minute.”

Emma sighed and paced up and down the vault. The words were slowly forming and became coherent with each time she would run over them. It had been easy for her to understand, but explaining it, not so much. She made her way back to where Regina waited.

“Okay, so, my parents and Hook and…Henry, but I won’t blame him, he’s my kid and even you. None of you wanted me to touch my magic or risk anything which could tempt my darkness. It kind of backfired. I needed an outlet and some way to express my crap when I well, gave less of a crap. But I was too afraid of going dark and losing everyone that I did what you all asked. For the most part, anyway.”

“I’m still not following. How does this tie in with me and Hook?”

“You know I’m terrible at letting my feelings out?”

Regina tipped her head with wide eyes, “I know. It’s why we’re in this position.”

“Becoming the dark one allowed me access to all of these feelings I wanted to let out, but couldn’t. As much as it helped me see things I was otherwise blinded too-”

“Like…your feelings for me?”

“Yup. It opened up feelings I’d buried, like the…ones I told you about.” Her head bowed briefly and she had to take another breath to lift it back up. “I was so scared of ending up in that position. I tried to get closer to Hook and stayed away from you. I was terrified of coming out and having my parents reject me and I didn’t think you would want me. My darkness festered on it, to the point where I believed if I kept a hold of it. Stayed in the middle, then my family would still be around to try and keep me from going dark.”

“That’s why you couldn’t light the flame?”

“I’m not making sense, am I?” Emma sighed, because it was hard enough getting it straight in her own mind.

“If you knew the reason, why couldn’t you then light the flame?”

“Because I knew I didn’t want him. I wanted you, but I feared everyone leaving if I said that. I made the decision to stay with Hook. When I took the flame to him, I manipulated my fears regarding him. I _was_ scared to move in with him, but not because I wanted a future with him, because I didn’t.”

“Emma…you’re speaking in riddles.”

“Just…listen. I decided not being alone was worth choosing him over you. No matter the cost or if I was miserable. I could finally let go of the darkness and light the flame because I didn’t risk being alone.”

“By remaining the dark one you wouldn’t have been alone and by choosing Hook and letting go of the darkness, you wouldn’t have been alone?”

“I think that sums it up. I know it might not make exact sense, but it’s how I felt.”

“What did you mean about going either way?”

“Oh…yeah…” Emma had forgotten about that part, “if I’d touched my magic more and had access to more of my magic, then I think I would’ve told you how I felt and dumped Hook, consequences be damned. It was a thin line, but my insecurities won in the end.”

“What about when he almost died? If you knew you didn’t want him the flame was already lit.”

“I’d already made the decision and you can blame the saviour for that part. I associated him with losing everyone. If I lost everyone, those feelings would flare and it was the last thing I wanted. I’d spent a lifetime alone.”

“Hence the trip to the underworld?” Whilst they were on it, they might as well discuss it.

Emma nodded, not needing to add anything more to that thought. “It wasn’t love I was choosing. I was choosing not to be alone. I said those things, because it was what everyone wanted to hear.”

“You never cared about yourself in any of this, did you? That’s where those feelings of worthlessness come in.” Emma crossed her arms and nodded tightly. “You were content to be miserable so long as you weren’t alone.”

“I felt worthless and undeserving of love, but at least I had a family. Then Hook took all of those insecurities and made them worse.”

Regina sighed, “I get he messed with your head and we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us. But…Emma…you’ve left him and here we all are. You must know we…care about you.”

“Logically. I can’t help my messed up feelings.”

“I know.” Regina walked straight to her and wrapped her securely in her arms. One hand went to the back of her head where she buried it in her neck and gently massaged her scalp. “I’m here. Always.”

Emma squeezed both arms around her waist, “and when he died again, I think the saviour in me flared. I didn’t even realise I had all of these stupid associations. Be the saviour; I won’t be alone. Be with Hook; won’t be alone. You’re right I am an idiot.”

“At least we can agree on something.” Regina twisted her head to the side as she pulled back and cupped both of Emma’s cheeks. She smiled softly when Regina leant forwards to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. Heads pressed together and eyes closed, “you’re not worthless and so long as you want me, you’re never going to be along again. If I have to say it to you everyday for the rest of our lives then I will.”

Emma had both hands cupped around her wrists and sighed, attempting to push their heads closer.

“Forever?” she peeked her eyes open and brown ones stared back.

“Forever.”

The queen cleared her throat, “I think I can help with the saviour side.”

On a deep breath she stood and walked over to the pair. “Start making the potion and let’s get back on track.”

Regina nodded and moved over to the wall to Emma’s right, collecting multiple ingredients then arranged them on the table. Next was the book they had found, which she opened to the page which detailed the potion and how exactly it would work. A few side effects were to be expected, but those she would deal with.

“What do you mean?” Emma asked as they both went over to the table.

One look from Regina and they both stayed away from the ingredients. Emma wouldn’t know where to begin anyway.

“When she told you she was the dark one and you were the saviour. The moment you stopped being the dark one, when Gold intercepted and allowed that darkness to further exist rather than be destroyed. Your darkness was taken from you, added to the dark one you made and it created her. To balance everything, the saviour inside of you compensated.”

Emma nodded along with her words. The information slowly digested and what she had been feeling made sense. “It’s why I was so determined to go to the underworld? Why I was hell-bent on giving Hook his happy ending?”

“That would certainly explain a lot,” Regina said, one hand on her hip, the other leant against the table, “and why you would happily let these visions play out rather than risk someone not getting a happy ending.”

“Yeah.”

Emma took a breath and let those thoughts settle. It did help to understand why she had changed so much. When she had initially started dating Hook, she had never altered so drastically. A few things here and there, but…a small smile tugged the corner of her lips, “I feel better knowing that.”

“Good, dear, maybe you can stop with the pity-party and act like the Emma I used to know.” The queen raised a brow. It was easier coming from her and had Emma roll her eyes. “I’m sure you have a lot more questions.”

“I guess-” Regina added a dose of some purple liquid into a small brewing pit then lifted her eyes, “what she wants. Why she wants to…remove Emma? Can we beat her? Is she powerful?”

“All of those.” Emma crossed her arms and looked to the queen. All of those and then a few dozen more.

“I don’t know what she wants. Other than to take your power and become…whole. She’s missing a great deal of magic, just like you are. She talked about going back to the Enchanted Forest, but…”

“But?” Regina stared down her other half.

“I have thought, if we were to all die then where would that leave Henry?” The Dark Swan had never shown any interest in him when it had come to her own plans.

Regina lifted a palm and clenched it to cut Emma off, “you were going to take Henry?”

That part hit them both. Emma did suppose they had kept her away from Henry and her darker impulses would make sense in her reasoning. It didn’t stop the sting neither of them had been expecting.

The queen nodded solemnly, “yes, I planned to…get rid of you and use the portal the take Henry to the forest.”

Regina pinched her nose and had to remind herself they were about to remerge. Whatever her plans were they no longer were important. “Let’s move on before I fry something.”

“Yeah. You think she wants to take Henry? How was she planning on getting to the Enchanted Forest?” That was a detail Emma did want to know. Not that she had any reason to want a portal, but out of curiosities sake.

“I suppose she would’ve used the one I stole from Zelena. After I was dead…of course,” she said through tight lips, “what else? Ah, yes, she’s powerful.”

The queen turned and dragged a finger along the table. It bought time and allowed them to process before diving back in. Emma had thought her plans as the dark one had been bad enough, but all three of them would’ve ended up dead. It was something she did not want to dwell on. “I’m guessing powerful.”

“Quite.”

Regina mixed in some more ingredients as the queen watched with hungry eyes. “Be more elaborate.”

“More powerful then us at our worst.”

Regina’s eyes snapped up. The vial in her hand shook and Emma stared blankly between the two of them. “I know your magic is strong, but what does that mean?”

Regina put the question on hold for the time being, “more powerful than ours and Emma’s magic combined?”

“Potentially. It’s not as if I’ve had the means to test that out.” The queen had seen her practice and had made the unfortunate mistake of going up against her in a magic fight. She’d lost and left with her head bowed and a glimpse of fear. It had been something unexpected, but it would’ve been stupid of her to not fear her capabilities. “Her mind in twisted, beautifully, but…darker than I would’ve anticipated.”

“Does she have a dagger?” The question was no sooner out of Emma’s mouth then she wondered why they had never thought of this before. If they could’ve gotten a hold of it sooner then all of this could’ve been avoided.

“Not exactly,” the queen didn’t need to glance at Regina for her to see the raised brow at her to continue, “the sword you see in your visions. That was created with her. The wounds cannot be healed through magic and I believe it works the same as the dark one dagger.”

“Using the dagger is the only way to kill her?” Regina saw the idea form and wondered if there was any way for Emma to get the upper hand during the fight. All she had to do was…

“You’re forgetting something. Whoever kills her with the dagger, will become the dark one. She cannot be killed. She meant that too.”

“Is there a way for me to win?” Emma leant against the table and sighed. It was the last question on the short list asked. She would be finding out how powerful in a matter of days.

The queen looked down and swallowed, “I’m afraid I cannot see a way for you to win, no.”

“I’m not giving up,” Regina said sternly, “I refuse. There will be a way, we simply have to find it.”

“I’m not giving up either.” Emma reached over and squeezed one of Regina’s hands, “the mentality of already losing means I’ve lost. We’ll find a way.”

Regina didn’t need to say a word from the way her lips tugged in a smirk and her eyes glazed. Her head tipped and she squeezed back. Emma had come so far, they all felt it. Regina pulled her hand away then added the rest of the ingredients. The potions began to crackle. Regina wiped both hands together and looked between them. “It needs to be left for a while, but it should be ready to use soon.”

“What about the visions?” Emma asked, flickering her eyes away from the queen with the next question, “and my weakening magic?”

Regina rested a hand on the table and looked sternly at the queen, “I would like to know about that, myself.”

The queen nodded with tight lips, “we’ll start with the first question. All dark ones inherit powers from previous dark ones, which meant she received the seer power from Rumple. One of her glimpses of the future involved the fight and with my help, we created a potion which allowed you to also see the vision.”

Regina crossed her arms and raised her brows, “that’s…quite impressive.”

“Regina!” Emma did not want to hear that.

“She’s quite right, dear. I believe the only reason it was possible, was because you are both linked.” The queen sighed and looked directly into those wide green eyes, “as for the second part, I’m sure you are aware I was the one to create the potion which blocked your magic.”

“Why?” Emma whispered, “I get she offered to help you, but…”

“You were determined to kill me, dear. It was my form of revenge.” The queen’s eyes did not leave her own, if anything they stared harder and for that Emma was grateful for the security she saw. “I’m not going to apologise. We have all made mistakes and I have been trying to rectify them.”

Emma nodded, “okay, I get it-” she shrugged, because perhaps she should want an apology, but she did understand Regina and this was a part of who she was. It might not be pretty, but it was real.

“Aladdin?” Regina chirped in, “he told Emma it was part of her destiny as the saviour.” Her teeth gritted, because if he had been lying and they’d helped him…she shook the thought away. They had left now, anyway.

“Really?” The queen rolled her eyes, “you really have lost your touch. She took his heart and told him exactly what to say,” she said with a little dramatic flair, “as I said, the saviour was compensating, if…”

“Because I was told me dying was my destiny as the saviour, I felt compelled to follow through with it.” Along with everything else which was going on, it was no wonder she had wanted to shrivel away.

“Precisely. She handed his heart back and made him forget everything as they left.” The queen had been surprised she hadn’t kept a hold of it.

“How did we not notice any of this?” Regina was still annoyed at herself for ignoring Emma’s distress, but all of this had been occurring behind their backs without so much as a hint.

The queen chuckled, “she’s been here since that no-good pirate died. The schemes she planned happened whilst none of you were in town. Or so she has told me,” because why should she trust anything which came from her? “when I first arrived, she used the opportunity to get what she wanted. She used me.”

Emma flinched.

Regina sighed, “at least you recognised before it was too late.”

“How hasn’t anyone seen her?”

“No one would question seeing their saviour now, would they? I believe she has been to Granny’s a number of times for a grilled cheese.” Even that vice didn’t disappear and had caused the queen to roll her eyes on more than one occasion.

Regina’s eyes widened, “she was in here. She took a book-” she sneered and puffed air through her nose, “the book she wanted would’ve contained the potion I had been searching for to stop yours.”

“Seriously?”

The queen smirked. Gloating would never get old.

“She really does want me dead. I’m still not fond on killing her…it’s weird, right?” It had only been brought up the night at the loft. Since then it had all been talk of ending her one way or the other. It was the only chance they had of Emma coming out of it alive. One part of her, at least.

“No, Emma. I understand-” Regina smiled softly, “your parents don’t want her to die as much as I do, but we’re out of options.”

The queen cleared her throat, “I may have an idea. It’s…not the best I’ve ever come up with. I must admit to that.” Emma and Regina swung their heads her way and waited for the queen to continue. “Do you still have Excalibur?”

“We have it,” Emma said and glanced at Regina with a frown, “she’s not linked to it. Why would it make a difference?”

“I believe it could be possible to remove the darkness from her with the blade. Tether it to Excalibur and once that darkness is out of her, all that would remain is your original darkness. You should merge, but it’s a theory.”

“A bad one at that.” The queen scoffed at Regina, “but it’s all we’ve got.”

Whilst the potion continued to settle, the three of them stood around and talked more about the upcoming fight. Then their conversation turned to Henry; them filling in the queen on the time she had missed with him. As the noises the potion had been making faded, Regina swallowed and walked over to it. She poured it evenly into two vials and popped on a lid.

She looked to her other half, “ready?”

The queen nodded then looked directly into Regina’s eyes. The conversation about Henry made her heart ache and only added to the urgency to do this. Then she looked to Emma with vulnerability edged into her eyes, “thank you.”

Emma wrung her hands together, “I…need you,” she said to the queen, “both of you.”

On a deep breath, Regina moved closer to the queen and handed her a vial. There was still an element of uncertainty. The queen rolled it between her fingers and did not take her eyes off it for a full minute.

Regina placed a hand on her shoulder, “we need to take it at the same time,” she said gently and squeezed. She got a nod in response and they both used their thumbs to pop open the lid.

“Do you want me to count you in?” Emma looked between them and almost wrapped them in a group hug. Instead she stood back and let them make their own decisions. At their confirmation, she smiled at them both, “I’m proud of the both of you. Now…3…2…1…”

Heads tipped back and the potion was emptied. They brought their heads back up and frowned at each other. Emma was with them, mouth opening and closing.

“I…don’t understand,” Regina spun and stalked over to the book, in need of answers.

As the queen went to speak, a bright purple light emitted from within. It shone out as if through a telescope. Regina spun as the queen lifted both arms out to the side and tipped her head back. She smiled. Not an evil smile. There was no malice or ill intent attached to the smile, but one which seemed…happy. Regina sighed.

A light shone from her and it pulled them closer together. They shuffled as if pulled by a magnet. The light became brighter and brighter, until the point Emma had to throw an arm up to shield her eyes. The light simmered. Emma spun back to face them to see… “Regina?”

Regina stood opposite. Both arms were out to the side as if she were trying to warn someone to stay back. She blinked rapidly, gasping. Then the pounding in her head hit and she dropped her face in her hands to block out any light. Emma was over.

“Hey.” One hand went to her shoulder, the other rubbed soft circles over her back. “It’s going to be okay. The symptoms last up to a day. By this time tomorrow everything will be back to normal.”

Regina went to reply when memory upon memory began to hit. She curled into Emma’s side and whimpered, the pain and emotions overwhelming. Both eyes closed and she took deep breaths, body trembling. “Take…me…”

“Shh, I’ll get you back to the mansion. Sleep it off, you’ll feel better tomorrow.” Emma pulled her into her arms, directing her out of the vault. She did think of poofing them, but doubted Regina would be up for anymore magic. They stumbled up the stairs and Emma had to call from memory a spell which would temporarily seal the vault.

Regina took deep breaths as they walked in the fresh air. Emma’s arms around her was more than welcomed. Pain filtered in and out between different memories. She hadn’t remembered the queen’s look from earlier, until a particular memory hit. Her head jerked up and she groaned at the motion.

Emma held her firmer and kissed the side of her head, “I’m so proud of you,” she whispered, completely oblivious to the growing dread at what was to come.

***

Emma walked into Regina’s kitchen the following morning. The woman in question was wearing only a flimsy night dress, leant over the kitchen counter whilst she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Hey,” Emma said softly, placed a hand on the back of her shoulder then chuckled, “you look like shit.” Her eyes still raked over the exposed thighs and the cleavage which was scarcely covered.

Regina groaned, “my head feels as if it’s splitting in a million directions. What’s your excuse?”

Emma grinned and almost pulled Regina into her arms. Both arms crossed as she simply watched Regina push from the counter and squint her eyes at the guest intruding in her kitchen. Green eyes raked over her again and Emma blushed when Regina cocked an eyebrow.

One hand rubbed the back of her neck, “anyway, how are you feeling?”

“I feel like all this weight has been dumped back onto me. But-” she pulled a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water, “it feels better than the huge hole I felt.”

“That’s good. I think it’ll be good for you. Once you’ve gotten over the merge. Do you want anything? Some breakfast or coffee or…”

Regina shook her head with a soft smile, “no, thank you, Emma. Too queasy, I’m going to head back to bed. If you don’t mind, I don’t mean to be rude.”

“No, of course. I’m taking Henry out for the day-” she placed her hand on the small of Regina’s back and walked with her to the bottom of the stairs.

“He has school.” Regina tried to protest, but the moment she opened her mouth a blinding light hit behind her eyes, causing her to groan and resume pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Not today he doesn’t. I want to spend some time with him, you know?” she whispered and Regina sighed, “why don’t I tuck you in? Henry’s gone to take a shower, so I’ll be hanging around anyway.”

“I’m quite capable of taking care of myself-” she rolled her eyes and regretted it the moment she did.

An arm slipped around her waist as they walked up the stairs, “there’s the queen-” she chuckled a little and kissed the side of Regina’s head, “face it. I’m helping you.”

Regina tried to act as if she were despondent, “fine,” she huffed, though the thought of being cared for, along with Emma’s warmth, was nice. “Oh, and Emma,” Regina said as they went into her room, “Maleficent and Lily are in the Enchanted Forest with her father.”

Emma frowned and pulled the covers back, “how do you know?”

“I…the queen, she used a mirror to check in on them. They’re all okay.” Regina slid under the covers and felt her stomach bubble like an excited child. Hands fisted the covers as she brought them to her chin and wiggled to get comfortable.

"That's good. I'm glad it worked out." With adoration filled in green eyes, Emma perched on the bed and faced Regina, tucking a piece of loose hair behind her ear. “Get some rest-” she leant forwards and pressed a kiss to her temple, one hand resting on the covered thigh, “call me if you need anything, okay?”

Regina’s eyes were already fluttering closed, “have a good day with Henry,” she murmured and curled up on her side away from Emma. The lump on the bed didn’t move and fingers stroked through her hair for some time. Her breathing evened out and her body felt heavy once sleep began to take its grasp.

Emma didn’t move until she heard Henry’s footsteps on the stairs.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gets its M rating for smut...

The sun faded and the darkness settled over them. With their stomachs full and wine being passed around, the entire family spread across the room and told stories, shared memories and the room was filled with laughter. It would die down quickly, however, as the reasoning behind their evening would surface.

“Who wants more wine?” Snow pushed from where she had been sitting on the floor, glass in one hand and an almost empty bottle of milk in the other. Neal would usually be asleep, but he currently sat cuddled on his sister’s lap. Snow took a moment to breathe them in.

“You know where to find the bottle?” Regina didn’t have to ask. It wasn’t as if Snow wasn’t a frequent visitor. There had been many a time where she’d come over with her infant son and they would share a bottle and talk. It'd never occurred to her until that moment, why Emma and Snow’s visits had always been separate and thought they would have to change that in the future.

“Yes, want to stick with white?” Regina nodded so she glanced to where her daughter had leant into Regina’s side, smiling softly at the arm wrapped around her shoulders. “Emma?”

“None for me-” she popped her head up and their eyes connected briefly. She didn’t need to add anything more. Neal sat with his back to his mother, feet half an inch from Emma’s stomach and arms lifted straight out from where Emma had grasped onto his wrists and was playing ‘row row row your boat’ with him.

Snow spun to where David and Henry occupied the other coach, “want another beer?”

“Sure, one more can’t hurt.”

“Could I have a beer?” Henry thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask. He had always wondered what the fuss was about and felt it was time he could find out.

“Not a chance.” Regina raised a brow at her son. It wasn’t an option in her mind. There remained eight years until he could drink legally and that seemed too soon.

Snow chuckled and gave Henry a tap on the shoulder as she walked by, “nice try-” she smirked at him as he grinned back, because he had two mothers and there was still a speckle of a chance-

“Aww come 'on, Gina, a little drink can’t hurt.” Emma flashed Regina a smirk and Henry beamed. Snow shook her head and walked out of the room before a war erupted. Emma bounced Neal on her legs and put on a child-like voice, “Aunt Regina is being a big meenie.”

Neal giggled and Emma scooped him up to place on her hip, in-between the two women. His head was raised above them both and he twisted his head, pointed at Regina and smiled. A few incoherent words came with that, but it momentarily made Regina smile. She grabbed for his finger and pretended to chomp on it, with had him in a fit of giggles all over again. “One sip of David’s.”

“Thanks mom!”

Snow came back in and made the rounds. Wine for the two of them, a beer for David and a soda for both Henry and Emma. She sat back on the floor, with her back pressed into the couch next to Emma’s legs. She sighed, the floor a lot comfier than she would’ve thought.

"Ugh, that's gross-" he shoved the beer can back at David whilst the room let out a collective chuckle.

Emma slid Neal back down so his back leant against her front, bouncing her legs rhythmically. Regina leant over just as Emma took a sip of her drink, “maybe this could be us one day-”

The soda flew from her mouth and out of her nose, eyes watering. Emma had to quickly place the can down and Snow took Neal from Emma’s arms as she coughed up her guts.

“Regina-” she spun around, Regina sat with one leg over the other, wine glass in one hand and leaning comfortable back with a smirk on her face, “you were…”

Emma picked up a pillow and swung it at her. Regina had a split second to poof the wine away and lift her arms to block it. Everyone else looked to them and shook their head, not getting involved in what was going on. “That's for encouraging our son to drink and do you really think I was going to expect babies when I’m not entirely sure I can trust you with a dog?”

“Thanks, that’s-” she hit her again, not too hard or Regina would have her head and again Regina lifted her arms to block it.

Regina chuckled, “Emma,” then pulled the pillow from her and placed it on her lap, “you’re a big enough child as it is.”

For a moment. A blissful moment, the battle had faded from Emma’s mind as she chuckled along with her…girlfriend; they hadn’t had a chance to discuss that part yet. She looked into Regina’s eyes and her insides deflated, “maybe…in a few years,” she said softly and shrugged, like it was no big deal, “you know, when Henry’s older.”

Regina swallowed the sudden lump and felt the glisten overcome her eyes as she stared back. She gave Emma a watery smile, “yes, maybe.”

“Don’t.” Emma scrunched her face and turned away at the brown orbs which glistened. “I’ve only just forgotten about the battle, don’t start with all of that.” If Regina were to cry, she would cry which would set the entire room off. It was the last thing Emma wanted or needed. Regina reached out a hand and traced her fingers down the sides of Emma’s face, gently stroking her hair out of the way.

“That’s not what…it was…” she chuckled through the building tears and Emma turned back to face her, features relaxing as she caught on. Sandwiching Regina’s hand in her own she squeezed. Emma was certain about them, no matter what, she wanted this, she wanted Regina and her family. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t already told her forever.

“You two.” Snow twisted her head, with warm eyes as she looked at them. If anyone would’ve told her this was how their story would end a few years ago she would’ve laughed in their face. The woman who had made her life hell for years falling for her daughter. That same daughter who had already taken on darkness for that woman, who had believed in her and given her a chance when Snow had been ready to give up. “I’m so happy for you both.”

Regina looked to her briefly and just like with David, they nodded to each other. It had been a long road, but Snow had played a huge part in Regina getting to this place. There was a familiarity with Snow and as they matured and their relationship with it, they had become better people. Regina pulled her eyes away and reached for her wine, a large sip followed, “I really don’t want to hear another hope speech.”

Emma kicked off her shoes and laid her head down on Regina’s lap, knees curled into her chest. Fingers scratched through her hair, causing Emma’s shoulders to relax.

“Is everything okay?” Snow asked, eyes skittering between Regina and her daughter.

Emma smiled softly, wiggling her toes like an excited child, “yeah, Regina’s comfy.”

Snow chuckled, “as long as you’re okay.”

As much as the nerves were taking root and the fight plagued her thoughts, everything else wasn’t so bad. If she were to die the next day, at least she could die happy. Both eyes closed and she smiled a smile so big, no one was unaffected.

“That smile better not mean you’re planning mischief, Miss Swan?” Regina wouldn’t care if she were, because at least it would mean she was hopeful.

“No-” she chuckled softly, the sound vibrating around the room, “but now you’ve mentioned it…kid-” her eyes opened and Henry jerked up, “think up some mischief and we’ll hit them when they least expect it.”

“I would, but mom might kill us both.”

Emma rolled onto her back and stared up at Regina, “it would be worth it.”

“You are a trouble maker.” She used a finger to tap her nose and she would’ve done a lot more than that if other people weren’t in the room. There was a slight urge to tickle her stomach, until she reminded herself Emma was an adult. Regina shook her head to look at Snow, “please take your overgrown child back.”

“Not a chance-” David grinned from the other side of the room, “she’s your girlfriend. No returns I’m afraid.”

Snow would’ve whacked David’s shoulder if he was close enough, biting down on a grin. The pair rolled their eyes, wondering what they had done to end up with child-like adults.

“Are we girlfriends?” Emma titled her head down and played with the hem on her shirt. It wasn’t so much she was afraid to bring it up, but the two of them had so far made a disaster out of their previous relationships.

Regina pressed her palm to Emma’s arm and rubbed down in until she could manoeuvre one hand to intertwine their fingers, “I would like that,” she said softly to which Emma nodded whilst biting her lip.

“You guys are the world’s worst.” Henry sagged dramatically onto the couch, “you’ve been basically married forever.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, kid, let’s take one step at a time. Yeah?”

Regina squeezed her palm a little tighter. Emma glanced up to see warm eyes and a soft smile, "maybe one day," Regina whispered so low only she could hear. Emma nodded and held her gaze, their fingers tightening to the point they turned white.

Snow pushed off the ground and grabbed Neal from where he had crawled along the floor, “but I think it’s time to get this one to bed.”

“He’s even crankier than you were if he doesn’t get his sleep.” David smiled at his daughter as he stood, so many memories of a moody Emma after their son had been born and she’d been awoken multiple times in the night. Emma simply rolled her eyes, stood and punched him in the arm.

He grabbed the wounded spot, “what was that for?”

“For calling me cranky.”

“You shouldn’t hit people,” Henry chipped in, more to cause mischief than anything else, “isn’t that right mom?”

Regina sighed, “stop trying to get your mother in trouble and Emma, stop misbehaving in front of our son.”

The smile Regina had tried to hide blossomed as Emma twisted her head to stick her tongue out. As much as she did act like an overgrown child at times, she had missed the playful side of Emma. “Put that tongue away before you hurt yourself.”

“Henry’s right. You are like a married couple,” Snow said, pulling a coat around her shoulders as David placed both hands under Neal’s arms and positioned him on his hip.

“My gods, guys, one step at a time.” Emma looked sternly between Regina and her mother. Between the baby and the marriage talk, Emma felt as if her relationship had started years ago, not days. 

Although, _wife_ did give Emma a giddy feeling and made her want to smile until her cheeks ached.

“Your mother would have us down the alter and saying ‘I do’ before the night is up.” Regina stood and walked over to Emma, circling her arms around her neck and gave her a quick peck on her nose. It resulted in a little giggle which stirred deep in her chest.

Emma circled Regina’s waist and connected their eyes, the feeling of her so incredible, “and we’d have a bunch of babies adopted by this time next week.”

“Oh come on, I’m not that bad.” Snow waved them off and altered the stroller so it was ready to be pushed to the door. They had hoped by walking back to the loft it would allow Neal to drift off.

Regina grinned and leaned in closer to Emma. She was aware Henry was still in the room, but figured he needed a few embarrassing moments from his parents. “Who said anything about adoption? We have magic, dear.”

Emma’s mouth opened and closed like a gold fish. The possibilities ran through her mind. Wide eyes didn’t leave Regina’s as she stared into them, imagining what it would be like if they were to have another child. It was too soon in their relationship to consider it, but it would be nice to know they could, for a few years down the line. “I could make a baby with you?”

The quiet disbelief had Regina’s shit-eating grin fade and replaced instead with the softest of smiles. “Yes, Emma. It’s possible for us to make a baby which would be ours.”

Snow hummed, “remember those queens in the south? Didn’t they end up with five children. I think they both carried twice and one of them had twins. I forget who had who, now.”

Emma bit her lip.

Regina tipped her head, the softness of the moment utterly destroyed because of Snow White and her big mouth, “don’t you dare.”

Emma stifled a laugh, “but it’s…funny.”

Her shoulders shook against Regina’s wrists and her eyes burnt with tears from the laughter she had attempted to hold in. Regina shook her head, not amused in the slightest.

“Did we miss something?” David asked.

“Regina threw a tantrum because she wasn’t invited to their wedding.” The thought of it set Emma off again. Laughing so much, she had to pull away from Regina then plonked down on the couch. Regina placed one hand on her hip and looked down at Emma.

“Are you quite finished, dear?”

Snow rolled her eyes, remembering it well, “Regina. You once had all of their clothing turn to dust each time they would put anything on. It got to the point they had to burn every item and buy new clothes.”

Regina smirked, “it taught them to not make fun of one of my dresses.”

“You and your dresses.” Emma pushed from the couch, walked back to Regina only to peck her cheek and circle her neck. “But I have to admit, you look super hot in them-” she winked and Regina’s eyebrows rose at the compliment.

“Moms, really? You do remember your son is in the room?” Henry pushed off from the couch and said goodbye to his grandparents and uncle. Emma and Regina flashed him innocent smiles as he walked out, “I’ll be in my room. Call me when you stop being gross.”

“Good luck with the teenage years.” David wrapped an arm around Snow and kissed the side of her head. “Let’s get going.”

Emma looked briefly into Regina’s eyes and sighed. One tiny little smile was all she needed. Regina squeezed her sides then said her goodbyes and headed up to check on her teenage son. The rest of them walked to the door. Emma wiped her palms down her legs and gave a nervous chuckle as her parents turned around to face her.

“Come here-” Snow wrapped her daughter in close and held her for a good few minutes, “I love you, Emma.”

“I love you, too, mom.” The hug felt good and Emma felt so grateful to have them in her life, to be able to believe they loved and wanted her. “We’ll be okay.”

Another squeeze and Snow pulled back, gripping onto Emma’s shoulders, “we will-” then let go with one of the biggest breaths of her life. She went over to the stroller and leaned in to check on her son, mainly to hide building tears.

“Dad.” Emma was in his arms next, feeling her feet being lifted off the ground from the tight hold. “I love you,” she whispered and squeezed her eyes tight.

“I love you. Always.”

When he pulled back he kissed the top of her head then spun and clasped onto Snow’s hand. They opened the door and used their free hands to push on Neal’s stroller. Once he was outside both of their heads turned and Emma stood at the door watching them. She pushed from the door and went over to the side of the stroller. Neal looked up at her with a smile. Placing a finger in his hand, she let him squeeze it to his hearts content.

“I love you, little bro. Do me a favour and sleep well for mom and dad tonight.” She leant down to place a soft kiss to his head and pulled back with a smile, “and if your first word isn’t Emma. We’re going to be having a serious talk.”

The blanket lifted at the bottom end where he kicked his feet, smiling up at his big sister. In the early days there had been some resentment, but in the months following his birth, Emma had started to warm up to him. So much had happened in only a few months. It felt as if he should be getting ready for his first day at school, not still in need of a stroller. Either way, Emma was glad she hadn’t missed much.

“Don’t get started with that,” Snow said, snuggling into her husband’s side, “Regina’s been trying to get him to say her name for weeks.”

Emma let out a chuckle, placed a hand on her mother’s shoulder, “I’ll be having words with her too. Goodnight mom, dad.”

She let go and with one final look between the two of them, she walked back into the mansion. There would be no more goodbyes; if there were to be Emma was certain her insides would crush. Nothing more needed to be said and as she shut the door, making her way back into the mansion, she was welcomed with the two people she called family.

***

A thumb brushed up and down Emma’s hand. The fingers underneath clasped onto her palm. Their conjoined hands rested on the couch in between their bodies. Emma’s head lay on Regina’s shoulder, eyes closed as she breathed in and out. It had been hours since her parents had left and they had urged Henry to get some rest not too long ago.

With a heavy heart, Emma pulled her head up, “I should get going,” she whispered, but didn’t dare look to her left. Regina nodded tightly and let go of her hand on a shaky breath.

“I hung your jacket up by the door.”

Emma pushed from the couch and nodded. Each limb felt heavier after each step she would take. One step turned into two and by the time she knew it, the jacket fit snuggly around her body and she was ready to go back to a house which had been filled with bad memory after bad memory. It was too big and had never been designed to live in.

A presence hung behind her and the determination they had been feeling burnt to the ground. Emma already missed Regina’s arms. If she said as much, however, it would shatter the illusion that the plan they had thought up would work. If she admitted she was scared and didn’t want to spend the night alone, it would mean she was admitting it would be her last night. Another shaky breath and her hand was on the handle. “Goodnight.”

Regina clasped both hands in front of her middle and swallowed down on the lump. “Goodnight, my love.”

Every inch of her wanted to fall into Regina’s arms. For a gentle whisper to reassure she would be okay. All her body could do was open the door and step into the night air. It sent a chill though her body and the goose bumps arouse the moment the door slammed shut. Emma hugged herself now her feet moved down the pathway. Both arms squeezed around her middle which clenched so much she wanted to bend in two. The gate came into view and her feet slowed. Her fingers gripped onto the leather material as if she was trying to hold herself up.

Heels clipping hurriedly along the ground, but before Emma had a chance to react to the sound, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her tightly to Regina's chest, “don’t you dare leave.”

“Regina-” she sighed and with wet eyes let out a small chuckle.

Eyes closed and her head lulled back until she could twist it and nuzzle Regina’s neck with her nose. Hands gripped Regina’s forearms which she pushed tightly against her waist. Regina held her tightly and kissed her temple in the gentlest kiss Emma had ever felt, “I need you.”

Emma spun and wrapped both arms around Regina’s neck. Those arms stayed around her middle and tugged on her until their bodies were flush together. Emma shuffled forwards and leant in closer. The wind blew over them, the air cold in complete contrast to their heat. They stilled.

For one blissful moment, they were in each other’s’ arms. No threats loomed and they had forever to stay this way.

To be with each other.

Finally.

Until Emma swallowed and the reality of a single night came flooding back. She pulled back an inch to stare into brown eyes. Filled with loss and sadness, it had Emma reach out to trace a gentle finger down the side of her face. Their eyes made miniscule movements from side to side. Neither of them moved an inch, too frightened to let this moment end.

Regina cupped her cheek and placed their heads together, “if you only have one night left. I want it to count.”

“Regina-”

“You know I believe in you. But-” their heads parted and they stared into each other’s eyes as if they were glancing at the moon and the stars, “I need to say goodbye.”

Emma’s bottom lip trembled, “Regina.”

Regina’s eyes gleamed as she cupped both of Emma’s cheeks, “let me say goodbye.”

Emma shivered as Regina tipped her head, connecting their lips softly. Eyes fluttered closed whilst Regina pecked her lips repeatedly. Then her lips parted and shut over Emma’s, pushing firmly. They held themselves together, until Emma opened her mouth to push Regina’s lips open.

Slowly, with one hand coming up to tangle in blonde locks, they parted their lips then shut them. The movements were languid, sloppy, the sounds of their kiss filtering into the otherwise quiet night. Emma hummed the first instance Regina pushed her tongue into Emma’s mouth whilst it opened. She explored every inch until Emma tangled their tongues and gripped the back of Regina’s head to keep her there.

Emma tipped her head to allow the kiss to deepen. A wave hit her stomach and her biceps tensed. Grounding her hips into Regina’s, she moaned at the soft lips moving against her own. A palm snuck around Emma’s waist and pushed under her top, fingers dancing just above her jeans. Regina sighed, the lump beneath her tank top moving as Regina settled her hand on Emma’s lower back. She wanted to take her there, but knew she deserved better than being out in the open.

Regina brushed their noses together, lazily brushed her lips over Emma’s, “can I take you upstairs?”

Each arm slid from around her neck, brushed along her shoulders then down each arm. Emma intertwined their fingers, kissed her soundly then nodded. Their eyes met, “make love to me.”

Regina’s breath shuddered. She didn’t need to ask again. With one hand still intertwined with Emma’s, she turned and led her inside. Emma’s feet followed on automatic, stomach curdling in anticipation. The door slammed shut and her back was pushed against it. Followed by Regina’s body moulding against her own.

“Fuck-” she arched her back to feel more of Regina’s weight.

One hand went to Emma’s neck, finger nails gently scrapping over the skin and another hand went to Emma’s ass. Regina squeezed and tipped her head, initiating a searing kiss. Quicker paced than the last, Emma struggled to keep up with the rapid movements. It felt like too much, but not enough all in one go. She placed her hands on Regina’s backside, tugged her closer and pushed her hips upwards. Regina moaned into Emma’s open mouth.

With the back of her head pressed against the door, Regina kissed her firmly. Their lips puckered together and pushed against each other’s’, as if they couldn’t get close enough. They would open their lips then repeat. Each time they pushed harder, more firmly as if making up for every missed opportunity to kiss. When lungs burnt, Regina pulled her head away then peppered small kisses down Emma’s jaw. Her head tipped whilst she panted.

Regina's lips trailed a series of wet kisses over Emma’s neck then back up to her lips. Their eyes met and Emma breathed heavily and couldn’t take her eyes away. Regina’s arms moved until they were wrapped around her lower back, “you’re so beautiful, Emma-” she tightened her arms, pulling Emma onto her tip toes and she had to snake her arms around Regina’s neck as she was tipped forwards straight onto demanding lips.

Sharing an open mouth kiss, Emma would never have wanted it to end if it wasn’t for the throbbing intensifying between her legs. One leg stepped to the side to ground her hips straight into Regina’s thigh. She circled them a few times, the denim material on her crouch rubbing right where she needed it.

Regina pulled her head back, hands slowly moving down to cup Emma. Both hands squeezed as she pushed her hips up into Emma, “do you feel anything?”

Head lulling backwards when Regina did it again, Emma managed a nod and a moan. She pushed her hips down and Regina rocked into her. “Keep doing that-” her grip on Regina’s neck tightened, head falling to her shoulder as they rocked together, “hmm, yeah, like that.”

Emma’s eyes rolled back into her head at the gentle rocking, along with the pressure it built between her legs. Slowly, she shifted her head to suck on Regina’s pulse point, causing an appreciate hum from the older woman. If it wasn’t for the throbbing, Emma felt as if she were being lulled to sleep, “need t’come,” she mumbled, resisting the urge to start humping Regina’s legs as the pleasure went from slowly building to in need of being relieved.

Regina pulled her head back and flicked her hair. Emma was back against the door with a small thud. “Like it rough?” Emma sassed, because a little manhandling she didn’t mind in the slightest.

Regina chuckled, “maybe another time-” hands went to the front of Emma’s jeans where the button popped open and the zipper came undone. Emma looked to Regina’s hand, panting, both of her hands splayed across the door. Brown eyes connected with hers, “you sure?”

Emma swallowed then flinched at fingers which grazed at the sensitive skin just below her waistline. “Gods, yes. Touch me, Regina.”

Very gently, Regina tucked a piece of hair behind Emma’s ear, kissed her softly and twisted her hand so it lay flat against her stomach. Titling her head forwards, she pressed it against Emma’s as her hand pushed beneath her jeans and under the waistband of her underwear. Emma sighed, one hand coming up to grip Regina’s forearm. Both eyes closed at the two digits softly tracing up and down her folds.

“You feel so good-” her elbow went on the door against Emma’s head and she used the angle to kiss her softly. Emma let herself enjoy the calm, lips following Regina’s as her fingers easily slipped through her wetness.

Their lips touched and heads tipped as if they were simply making out, expect Emma’s hips rolled in time with the fingers which stroked her entrance then spread the wetness up to her clit. The fingers around Regina’s forearms tightened and Emma placed her other hand on Regina’s shoulder to anchor herself.

A floor board creaked upstairs. Their heads snapped apart and they froze. Emma glanced at the lump her jeans made from Regina’s stilled hand. Biting her lip, she rocked into it, “ohh, feels…good-” she did it again, too overcome with sensation to remember why she had stopped in the first place.

There was the sound of flushing, followed by a bedroom door slamming shut. Emma groaned but stopped herself until it went silent again, “fuck, do we need to-”

“You’ll just have to be quiet for once.” Regina leant her elbow back against the door, fingers covered in Emma’s juices. The tips of her fingers brushed Emma’s entrance then pushed in slowly. Emma groaned as they slid effortlessly inside. “Come here.”

After panting, squeezing her eyes shut and focusing on something other than the pleasure, Emma finally managed to push from the wall. “Oh…fuck…so good,” she said, the movement meaning Regina’s fingers curled and pushed against her walls, “dear god.”

Regina’s arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closely, “lay your head on my shoulder,” she soothed, kissed the side of her temple whilst her fingers were buried inside of Emma. The influx of emotions had greens eyes closing and her complying without question. Those fingers pulled out then paused back in, Emma’s thighs squeezed.

Arms hung from Regina’s waist as the speed of her thrust increased, “you mean the world to me,” she whispered down Emma’s ear as she wriggled against her. Emma pushed her chest closer to try and reduce the ache in her nipples. Her head began to thrash on her shoulder and she bit down on Regina’s neck.

“Need…more…touch me-” her mid-section moved, trying to get the friction where she needed it, “my clit, can’t come…need to touch me.”

Regina brought her hand up to Emma’s hair and gentle kneaded her fingers through the blonde locks, tucking in her thumb and pressing it against Emma. It slid easily over her clit and her arm tensed as she pushed into her in rapid movements. The friction against her tight bundle and the fingers brushing against her walls had Emma tightened her hold on Regina and whimpered into her neck. She rocked into her hand and tugged her closer, forehead clammed from where it was pressed into Regina’s neck.

“Fuck…fuck…Regina…I’m…” her chest heaved and Regina’s bicep tensed from the thrusting. Her arm ached, but she didn’t care so long as Emma climaxed in her arms. She massaged Emma’s head for a few more seconds before wrapping an arm back around her body to keep her upright. Emma’s legs bent slightly form where they were parted, bucking her hips into the digits.

Fingers gripped the material of Regina’s shirt and her toes curled in her boots. Her head pushed closer into Regina whilst her body tensed, “hmm…R’gina…I’m…I’m coming-” twisting at an angle, she felt the wetness pool from her the moment her walls clenched around Regina’s fingers. She stifled her moan into Regina’s neck then sagged against her.

Regina moved her fingers at a slower pace, until the waves passed. Emma’s chest heaved and she saw stars behind her eyes. Her nose nuzzled into Regina’s neck as she slowly pulled out of her, the action causing a twitch as she hit her sensitive area. Regina used Emma’s underwear to wipe away some of the wetness before wrapping both arms around her lover.

Emma breathed heavily, legs like jelly as she was held tightly. Regina kissed her head so softly then kissed her shoulder, “I love you,” she whispered, one hand going to the back of her head and holding her close. Emma’s arms gripped harder and she puckered her lips to place a kiss to Regina’s neck.

The loudest sigh pushed from Emma’s chest. Tight arms remained around her body, being held in a loving embrace. She had never felt so at peace, so _safe_. Those arms felt like coming home. One which had always been there if Emma had only looked hard enough, believed a little more and had been brave enough to accept it.

Tallahassee had never been a place.

Emma peaked her head up, a sheepish smile on swollen lips, “hi.”

Careful fingers brushed her hair back and gentle lips pressed against her own. Beautiful sparkling eyes looked at her, filled with warmth, “how are you feeling?”

“Sticky.” If she moved too much, her underwear stuck to her and it wasn’t that much of a nice feeling. Regina chuckled and Emma beamed, “but really good. Regina…I…” her mouth hung open for a finger to be placed over her lips.

“Shh, you don’t have to say anything.” At Emma’s nod, Regina pulled it away, the arm circling her waist, “can I finally get you upstairs, dear? I’ve not finished with you yet.”

“You’re the one who stopped us here.” Emma let her forehead fall to Regina’s cheek and nuzzled gently, “not that I’m complaining-” both eyes squeezed shut, “I feel so close to you.”

Regina tightened her arms and sighed, “as do I, my darling.”

“Let’s go upstairs. It’s my turn to touch you.” Emma kissed her shoulder then shifted her weight onto her own legs.

Regina rubbed down her arms, “we’re not keeping a tally chart.”

Their hands came up in line with their chests, palms pressed together then fingers intertwined. They kissed between them then nuzzled their noses. After another quick peck, Regina let go of one hand and led Emma again by keeping hold of the other. Emma squeezed Regina’s palm as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Then, she admired the way her hips swayed, “hmm, Regina, you’re the most hottest, gorgeous, beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

Chuckling seductively, Regina added an extra sway to her hips all the way to the bedroom. The door closed, she waved a hand through the air and cocked an eyebrow at Emma, “silencing spell, you can be as loud as you wish and I want to hear you-” she grabbed Emma’s open jeans to tug her closer then wrapped both arms around her back. She kissed her deeply and thoroughly, enjoying every second.

“I want to hear you.” Their feet scurried backwards, stealing quick kisses from fingers undoing buttons and hands grabbing jeans until they stuck around Emma’s knees. She bit her lip awkwardly and hopped backwards, “sorry, these are super tight.”

Regina, stood with the buttons of her shirt undone, lacey bra on display, shook her head at Emma, wondering how the woman maintained the adorable awkwardness even during sex. “I would ask for a strip tease, but you hopping on one foot and tugging at your jeans isn’t much of a show-” she wiggled out of her skirt until it pooled on the ground.

“They’re skinny jeans, Regina. It takes me just as long to get them on.” Emma padded to the bed, sat on the edge then pulled at the material. The moment they were off, she scrunched them and threw it at Regina’s smug face, “you don’t complain when you get to check out my ass.”

Regina battered them away, the biggest smile on her face she could ever remember. Eyes glued to Emma and she chuckled, the swell in her stomach increasing. Emma smiled in return, stretched her legs out to cross them at her ankles and leant back on her palms, wiggling both eyebrows.

Regina’s heart pitter-pattered and brown sparkling eyes softened at the blonde infuriating woman smirking at her from the bed. “Gods, I love you.”

Now the words were out she didn’t want to stop saying them.

Emma stared back and took a shuddered breath. Bare feet padded along the carpet until Emma could wrap her arms around the half-naked woman, “I-I thought we were getting naked,” she said and mentally kicked herself. Regina simply kissed her temple.

The rest of their clothes lay scattered on the ground. Regina walked backwards, Emma against her front stumbling her feet forwards as they peppered kisses. Knees hit the bed, so Regina sat and pulled herself backwards whilst Emma crawled up her body. Her mind might stutter when she tried to say those words back, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t show her all the feelings brewing deep inside.

With an elbow resting by Regina’s head on the fluffed up pillow, fingers softly brushing through brown hair, her other hand lightly gripped the top of Regina’s thigh. Finger tips brushed up and down Emma’s arms as a pair of brown eyes stared back. Emma imagined Regina could be feisty in the bedroom and would want to take charge, but in that moment, with the tiniest of smiles and adoring eyes, she lay still.

“So beautiful,” Emma whispered, thumb rubbing up and down Regina’s inner thigh. Tipping her head forwards, she kissed her slowly and moved her palm to brush up and down Regina’s leg. Fingers gripped onto her triceps and it only made Emma kiss her harder. She brought the hand up to Regina’s hip, over her side until she could cup a breast. They kissed as she kneaded and squeezed gently, tweaking the nipple which caused a moan and an arching back.

Regina’s hips bucked up into nothing, the weight of Emma’s body almost keeping her in place, “Emma,” she panted between kisses, “touch me.”

Emma shifted so her entire body lay on Regina’s, their lips mushing together as she did. Each hand came to the bed and she pushed, reluctantly stopping their kiss to sit up and straddle Regina’s hips, “you’re so fucking beautiful.”

“Hmm, get on with it or I’m going to flip us over and ravish you.” Regina continued to buck into nothing, both of her hands gripping Emma’s hips. She was so close to keeping good on her word until a soft chuckle came from above. Emma gripped Regina’s hands to move them. She intertwined their fingers and rested their hands on Regina’s stomach.

Emma smiled down at her, squeezed her palms and was surprised Regina hadn’t tried to take control. Their first night had been quick fingers and soft moans, getting each other to climax a few times before laying down and passing out. Regina had ended up rolling on top of her in her sleep, but it had been a fury and a blur and this time, Emma planned to take her time.

Shifting one of their conjoined hands, she pulled their fingers apart and gently directed Regina’s fingers between her legs. Emma twisted her hand and pushed two fingers on top of Regina’s into her centre. Biting her lip, brown eyes looked up as her heels dragged along the bed, knees bending upwards and spreading. With both feet planted onto the sheet, Regina pushed her hips up into her own fingers, moaning and closed her eyes.

After a few more strokes, where Regina’s chest heaved and she rocked gently into the sets of fingers, Emma pulled their hands away. Hips fell to the bed and Regina’s eyes opened accusingly, “Emma,” she said, voice strained, but her eyes widened and mouth shut when Emma pulled Regina’s fingers into her open mouth. Green eyes closed and her head tipped back as she sucked on them gently.

She pulled them out, kissed the tips of her fingers and let go of both hands, “taste so good,” she murmured then shuffled so she lay flat against Regina. Their breasts pushed together and Emma hummed as she kissed Regina’s shoulder, sucked gently on her neck then pushed on one arm to trail kisses down her body.

Regina closed her eyes, head falling onto the pillow. Her patience was running thin and the steady throb between her legs was building to the point she was tempted to throw a hand between her legs and rub herself. Then Emma kissed her collar bone, then her chest and Regina allowed Emma to have this. Blonde hair tickled her skin as Emma made her way to a nipple. Bringing it into her mouth, Regina moaned and wriggled beneath her.

It popped from her lips and she moved onto the next one. She sucked it then licked the tip, before altering herself and kissing the top of Regina’s stomach in an open mouth kiss. Emma adjusted so both of her hands gripped Regina’s waist and she left a trial of open mouth kisses down her stomach, ran a tongue over her belly button then continued her decent. She had wanted to kiss all the way down her thighs and suck on the skin, but fingers curled into her blonde locks and pushed her down. Emma flashed her a cheeky grin.

Regina twisted her head to the side and whimpered, “Emma, for the love of…hmm.”

Emma gave her one long lick with the flat of her tongue, adjusted so she could lie on her stomach with Regina’s legs flung over her shoulders and began to flick her tongue right over where Regina needed it most. As much as she wanted to draw it out, she’d teased Regina enough. Heels rested against her back and Emma gripped Regina’s thighs as fingers curled tighter in her hair. She worked on Regina, bringing the tight bundle into her mouth and sucked gently.

“Oh fuck, E-Emma, I’m-” hair splayed over the pillow and her hand fisted the sheets. Hips bucked into Emma’s face and heels dug into her back whilst she built Regina to her climax. After one long moan, Regina’s hips fell into the bed. Chest rising and falling at a quick pace. “Fuck me.”

“I just did-” Emma popped her head up and licked her lips as if she couldn’t get enough of her taste, “was I good?”

“If I say yes will your head inflate?” Regina lifted her head from the pillow and couldn’t help the little chuckle it brought out. Emma was adorable and sexy, lips glistening whilst she remained buried between her legs. The sight had her biting her lip.

“Maybe a little-” she winked, unhooked Regina’s legs then sat up as Regina did the same, “you’re so hot, you know that?”

Regina rolled her eyes, but was loving the sudden influx of compliments. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know she was attractive, but somehow hearing it from Emma was different. The two of them crawled to the centre of the bed, sat up on their knees and kissed. Until Regina sat up, pulled herself backwards so she was sat against the head board and spread her knees.

“Come sit between my legs,” she said and Emma’s eyes dilated at the sight.

She muttered something under her breath as she shuffled and turned so her back was lay against Regina’s front, “I’m all for cuddling and this is like, the hottest thing, fuck me Regina. But I’m so not done making you come-”

Soft hands gripped her thighs, cutting off her ramble, “I already told you I wasn’t done with you,” she whispered, kissed her shoulder then gently eased her legs apart, “spread them.”

“Gods-” Emma’s head fell back and she complied without a second thought. It wasn’t as if she was having any thoughts other than how freaking good it felt to be lay against Regina’s naked body, nipples sticking into her back and hands gripping her inner thighs. Regina lifted her legs and looped them over Emma’s, effectively keeping them spread and in place.

Those fingers danced over Emma’s legs, her lower stomach and up to her rib cage, “are you okay with this?” Regina needed to be sure, she wasn’t entirely restricted, but the last thing she wanted was Emma to feel uncomfortable, “we can switch positions if you would prefer-” her finger nails grazed just below Emma’s breast and all she could do was let her head fall back onto Regina’s shoulder and moan.

“It feels so fucking good.” Her chest heaved and she needed to be touched, but Regina cupped both of her breasts and massaged gently and she much preferred those hands to stay there. Biting her lip, she lowered one hand to her centre and rubbed in slow circles.

“Eager, dear?” Regina moaned at the sight, the position one of her favourites. Emma was at her mercy. The only downside was she couldn’t use her mouth, but she could very easily make up for that another time.

Emma twisted her head so their cheeks pressed together, “I’m dying of hotness overload.”

“You’ve never done this before?” Regina brought both her nipples between her thumb and forefinger, twisting them until Emma sighed and pushed back. Emma’s toes curled into the sheets and Regina had to ignore the throb between her own legs.

“My sex life consisted of drunken one-night stands. Guys mainly…which…well, you could imagine how that went. I just fucked, sometimes came sometimes didn’t. Fell asleep then most likely left in the middle of the night.”

“That’s all about to change.” The things which ran through Regina’s mind. All the ways she could tease and pleasure Emma. She never wanted to stop. Soft lips kissed just behind her ear, “I love you,” she whispered, those words not able to stop spilling from her mouth either.

Emma hummed, closed her eyes and smiled. Her breast went cold until those hands directed her own to cup herself, “touch yourself,” Regina said, bringing one hand so it lay splayed on her stomach. Her fingers slipped through Emma’s centre with ease, “you feel incredible.”

“Hmm, don’t stop-” she tweaked her own nipples, the sensations causing repeated moans and sighs. Then Regina used those fingers to slip inside of her, hips bucking in response. The hand on her stomach moved until fingers placed gentle pressure on her clit whilst fingers moved in and out of her at a slow pace. “Harder.”

“Not yet, my darling.” Regina watched her own hands, the fingers which produced a squelching nose and collected Emma’s wetness from the way they were curled inwards. Emma began to jerk her hips into them, one hand falling from her breast so she could wrap an arm behind Regina’s neck. She gave up on the other one, using her hand instead to grip tightly onto the sheets. Toes lifted into the air as her heels pushed into the bed, trying to get momentum.

Regina lightened her touch, knowing it would drive Emma crazy. Her body twisted against her, knees pushing against her own. She whimpered, bucked her hips and buried her face in Regina’s neck. The sight was glorious and she wanted to keep her there all night.

“Could you take more?” Regina was certain she could and as Emma nodded and whispered pleas, she added a third finger then pushed into her slowly. She let them stretch her then began to thrust gently, letting Emma getting used to the intrusion. Emma wiggled against her and tried to lift her hips to get more. Regina responded by thrusting into her harder and applied more pressure to the fingers on her clit.

“Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.” Emma panted and moaned, brought both hands down to grip onto Regina’s knees. With her feet planted into the bed, her sweaty back moulded into Regina’s front, she rocked to meet Regina’s thrusts. Regina was relentless, bringing Emma to another climax whilst she whimpered and squeezed both eyes shut.

She grunted then let out a loud series of moans as her walls clenched. Regina picked up her pace until Emma’s legs tried to shut. A wet spot formed on the bed as Emma reached orgasm again and Regina slowed her fingers. She didn’t pull out completely until Emma grabbed onto her wrist to move her away.

“Holy shit-” her legs flopped to the bed and Regina moved her own, laying them flat against Emma’s, “I’ve never…fuck…never…never-” she shifted to curl on her side into Regina’s chest, not caring in the slightest that their skin stuck together and she couldn’t think straight long enough to finish her sentence.

Regina wiped her hands on the bed, then wrapped her arms around Emma. Chuckling, she kissed her head, “what was that, dear?”

All she got was a sigh as Emma closed her eyes and snuggled closely. Her breathing evened out as those arms held her steady. “Never come so hard,” she muttered into Regina chest, “I always thought it was bullshit-” her eyes looked up and she smiled lazily, “I mean, I can make myself come pretty hard. I’m great at it, really, I am. But…” her mind trailed off before she could even form words to describe how her thighs trembled and all she wanted to do was sleep in Regina’s arms.

“That I would love to see-” she grinned, the sight more than erotic in her mind.

Emma bit her lip, muscles aching and not wanting to move for anything, “do you need to come?”

“I’m okay-” fingers gently brushed through Emma’s knotted hair, “I can touch myself. Why don’t you lie down?”

“I want to touch you,” she whispered, eyes flickering to the messy bed then back up at Regina. She waved a hand in response and the bed, along with the two of them, cleaned.

“Emma, it’s okay. Do you need a drink?” Regina’s throat was a little dry, she could only image Emma’s to be. At her nod, another dose of magic saw to it a glass of ice cold water appeared in her hands. She took a long gulp before passing it to Emma. She did the same then left it on the side.

“Actually-” Regina shuffled so she could throw an arm between their bodies with Emma still lay against her chest, “don’t worry about it. If you think we’re not doing this again-” Regina raised a brow and Emma rolled her eyes, for the first time in hours dread forming in the pit of her stomach. She adjusted so she could kiss Regina whilst she rubbed herself, one hand coming up to fondle with one of Regina’s breast. It didn’t take too long until Regina let out a soft moan and let her arm go limp.

After another few moments where they let soft lips slide together, did they pull apart and quickly use the bathroom in turn. Regina rearranged the bed until Emma came back and slid into one side. The light was turned off and Regina pulled back the cover and got into bed.

They were almost nose to nose, both had a hand bent up onto the pillow to stroke through tangled hair. Emma’s eyes drifted shut as they shuffled closer, heads centimetres apart. She tucked both arms into her chest and snuggled into Regina’s side. Fingers continued to play with her hair and a hand went to her hip, thumb brushing over her skin. Regina dipped one shoulder and shuffled a little to get comfy, pulled the cover up over them both then pressed a kiss to Emma’s slightly parted lips.

“Sleep tight,” she whispered, “I love you so much.”

Emma let out a little hum and mumbled something incoherent in her dazed state. Regina let herself relax, closed her eyes and lay so at least part of her was touching Emma. Tomorrow was forgotten. It wasn’t something they needed to remember, not when they had each other and an entire night to simply be.


	27. Chapter 27

The darkness swirled through the streets in waves. The visual had taken everyone by surprise. Everyone had retreated inside, shut their windows and locked their doors. A queen and a saviour wasn’t enough for them to stand around and have hope, many of whom had witnessed a Dark One in his glory.

After a long argument that day, Snow and David had remained in the loft. Wanting to fight wasn’t an option as far as Regina and Emma were concerned. Keeping their collective children alive became a bigger issue. Neither of them believed the Dark Swan would harm them, but neither did they understand her levels of darkness and during a fight, one second with your eyes away and back turned, saw to it a loved one lay on the ground.

Either way, this was Emma’s fight and Emma’s fight alone. Regina was there in case Emma were to be in any serious danger. When she would step in was anyone’s guess. They still didn’t know of her power, not to its full capacity. The queen’s memories had been helpful to an extent, but she could not share what she did not know either. The Dark Swan had outsmarted them all in that respect.

Nightfall appeared quicker than they could’ve anticipated. Although no time frame existed, there was a knowing which came with this battle. It became clear when the sky filled with clouds and the street lights flickered on, like they would on any given night. The temperature dropped by degrees uncommon in the summer months and allowed them to see breath as it was drawn.

Two hands clutched together as they walked down the street, fingers intertwined and gripped tightly. They wouldn’t part until the last second, which would see to it Emma would be alone. Regina didn’t like it, but neither did she have much choice. As much as her power had strengthened since the merge, there was a possibility it wouldn’t be strong enough. There was also the memory she had received from the queen. If she were to get caught too soon, everything would fall to pieces.

Emma stopped before they reached the destination of her vision, spun and looked Regina square in the eyes. Before a big moment, the regrets, the wishes and things left unspoken would flare to the surface of her mind. So many words could be spoken and so many wanted to be, but nothing could articulate the feelings she felt. Words nor actions could see to it she would be able to express it all. All she gave was one final nod, a squeeze of her hand and she let go.

Excalibur scrapped along the ground as Emma swayed her hips. The confidence oozed off her in waves, even if every molecule in her body shook. Regina stood motionless behind her, already becoming a distraction to the focus Emma tried to pull for. After a long drawn out moment where she felt eyes glued to her every movement, did Regina move and walk away from the scene.

A tremble hit her body and Emma swallowed. The reality of the situation didn’t prepare her for this. Streets abandoned, no family present, it was as if she were a child all over again. The sinking loneliness tried to overpower, but Emma pushed back hard on those feelings. She continued to stroll towards her destination, buying time if nothing else. The blade scraped as she walked.

It would be a nice addition. The blade which created the dark one, putting an end to it once and for all. It was a theory and so long as the sword prophesied to pierce through Emma’s gut didn’t make it that far, then she stood a chance. Her teeth chattered and boots echoed in the silence. The hand gripped the edge of the sword tighter as Emma swung her arm to ready herself.

A chuckle was the first thing she heard. Not a sweet chuckle she could bring out in Regina or an infectious one a child would make, no, this was a chuckle of nightmares. It spread out into the streets through the darkness still surrounding them. The sound came from all directions and sent a shiver down Emma’s spine.

“Any final words?”

Emma spun towards the sound, but all that remained was black smoke. Her body twisted back around, head turning from side to side. Her breath shuddered. “Do you?”

The chuckle returned.

If Emma came out of this alive, then she could already tell the sound alone would haunt her dreams. Boots stomped along the ground to accompany it. The Dark Swan walked into Emma’s line of sight, lips curling in a seductive smile.

“Cocky-” she squinted her eyes and slowly raked them over Emma. From the black boots, to the leggings and tank top. Goosebumps trailed along her skin, but anything else would’ve been too constrictive. “You will not win. I suggest if you have words, say them.”

Emma’s shoulder tensed as she readjusted the sword. The edge spun in her palm a few times. White knuckles gripped it and she lifted it into the air, stance ready and waiting. “We’ll see.”

There was a smirk and eyes which flickered to the blade Emma held. It gave her a boost of confidence. A moment of calm followed. Where only the two of them existed. The Dark Swan stared her down, took a deep breath in which saw black smoke wrap around her body. “Goodbye, Miss Swan.”

The Dark Swan lifted the sword she carried and it clanked against Emma’s; she twisted at an angle, gripped the sword with both hands and pushed against her darker self. Their swords lifted and Emma took a few paces forwards, swung the sword from the side. The Dark Swan lifted the sword over her head and pointed the end to the ground. The sword moved through the air in a blur and blocked Emma’s attempt. As the metal clanked, Emma spun and did the same to the other side, for it to be blocked again.

Emma dropped her shoulder as the sword went to pierce through her side, shrugging it at an angle to hit the side of the sword. Hips twisted towards it, both hands gripped the end and she lifted her hands in front of her face as if she had just pulled the sword from the ground. The sword which had just been about to hit Emma’s stomach found her sword instead. The Dark Swan paced backwards, not at all fazed.

Her face remained focused as she fought, where as Emma’s gritted and scrunched in retaliation to her movements. Emma took a breath then swung her sword in the air in one direction. The Dark Swan went to block, for Emma to spin and hit from the other side. It hit metal and she stumbled to the side from the blow. A sword swooped at her feet and she had to jump whilst her body hadn’t regained balance. Emma called for magic to steady herself. She grunted and moved the sword across her body, where it met another sword mid-air.

“Tired yet?”

Emma’s arms strained as she held the sword. Calling on the lessons from Regina, she tensed her gut and pushed back, both feet planted firmly in the ground. The Dark Swan sneered and held strong, only for Emma to go lax, take a step to the side and move the sword at an angle in between their bodies and towards-

The sword, from where she had spun after Emma’s little trick and fallen to one knee to block it. She hit Emma’s sword repeatedly, until Emma’s arm ached from the bashing. When a blow had Emma’s arm fall, she took a swipe at Emma’s feet. She jumped, the Dark Swan rose and swung the sword which caused Emma to curl her back and stumble backwards.

Emma regained her footing, “not in the slightest.”

They’d been at this for ten minutes. Regina had made her practice for hours on end. She felt suddenly grateful as the Dark Swan charged, causing their swords to hit in the middle. They hit at an angle, creating a cross like they had drilled in the woods. Emma shuffled her feet backwards, one hand behind her back and criss-crossed the swords for each time it would go to hit her.

“All the practice in the world won’t stop me.”

The sword hit and hit and hit. It vibrated down Emma’s arm, but she held it strong, “you’re far too confident considering I know a way to kill you.”

Emma ducked this time and brought the sword over her head to block. It was a bluff. Other than the sword she was not in possession of and the theory of Excalibur, Emma didn’t know how to kill her, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know how to fight.

“That little gift you gave me was appreciated-” she shot up and crashed her side into the Dark Swan’s, spun and hit the sword towards her hip. She twisted in response, back still to Emma, but one arm was bent at an angle, forearm level with her nose. The other elbow tucked into her side. The sword’s handle met in the middle where she had it gripped with both hands, the sharp end pointing behind her back and blocked Emma’s sword.

As Emma pulled her arm back to strike again, confident to have the upper hand, did the Dark Swan turn back around so quickly the sword slashed Emma’s shoulder before she had a time to flinch. She wafted a hand over the cut, magic failing to heel it.

“Worth a shot,” she shrugged, “it’s hardly a graze.”

“It’ll be more than that, dear.”

Blood trickled down her arm as their swords hit again. They moved back and forwards, side to side and spun and jumped on occasion. Emma had to roll over the grazed shoulder at one point, wincing in pain as she stood and threw a magic shield up to stop the sword reaching her. It died and the fighting began again. Metal clanked for what felt like hours. Sweat formed all over her body. She was grateful she had listened to Regina when she’d suggested she wear minimal clothing.

Each muscle ached. Emma let her arm drop as the Dark Swan paced backwards and took breaths. Sweat had formed on her forehead, but the leather armour had stayed tightly in place. Emma had felt it earlier and it had been ice cold. The Dark Swan shoved the sword into her belt and grinned. A blast of magic flew Emma’s way. In a split second she threw her sword and flickered her hands to create magic which resembled wind. It hit the black magic and had it swirling around Emma’s, floating into the air and dissipating.

Emma flew her hand out to the side to grab her sword and waved her hand to create a way for her to hold it whilst they fought with magic. As the Dark Swan looked at her magic fading, Emma crouched with bent fists. Gritting her teeth, her hands glowed a dark shade of purple before she bashed them into the ground. It shook and the Dark Swan poofed and landed behind Emma.

“You’re magic might have been restored, but your tricks won’t work.” Both arms lifted to the side to create magical barriers. It boxed Emma in the moment she poofed out. Not that Emma could see them, until her hands shot magic for it to hit the barrier and fade. “You might need that sword.”

She smirked and wafted her hands again. The scene around Emma changed. Inside the box it darkened and outside looked as if she was stranded in the middle of a forest. “What the…?”

Both eyes widened as people appeared from the ground. Emma grabbed for her sword and gasped. Dirty and ripped clothes dangled from their bodies, the flesh from their skin melted in areas, wounded in others and completely torn off so she could see bone. The first man who dragged his feet towards Emma had his jaw on display.

“What are you doing?” she yelled, unable to see anything outside of the box. She stumbled backwards, only to hit a wall and hear that chuckle. It wasn’t as if she couldn’t drive that sword through Emma’s gut in an instant, but she planned to have some fun first.

Emma tensed her body, moved forwards and drove the sword through the man’s chest. He lifted his head from where his body swung on the sword. Emma’s arms shook as she held it. He smiled then opened his mouth where so many fly's came out Emma threw a hand over her head to shield them. The magic she'd called had them hit the barrier and disappear. When she opened her eyes again, the man melted. More zombified people approached as he did.

The Dark Swan stood and watched Emma swing the sword through mid-air into absolutely nothing. It would tire her out and it appeared she had gained some skills in the week since she had thrown her around. The spirit she’d been missing had certainly returned, along with the potion the queen had destroyed, she was stronger than anticipated. It still amused her to watch Emma fight something which wasn’t there.

After Emma had killed a dozen, she wafted her hand to stop the illusion. Emma had gotten the upper hand once again, something she hadn’t been expecting. Either way, something which wasn’t there couldn’t have killed her.

The next few seconds, minutes or hours passed in a blur. Each muscle in Emma ached. The time alluded her and she couldn’t tell whether they would be at this all night. Metal clanked against metal, magic flew into the air to be blocked by shields. Air pulled into her lungs as she took a deep breath before charging. The Dark Swan stood only a few feet away, from where Emma had thrown the ice she’d been practicing. It temporarily disorientated her and she had been throwing a mixture of fire to melt the shards and hitting her sword into the others to break them down.

The tip of Excalibur pointed towards her mid-section. Emma’s feet pounded for the few steps, dark eyes lifting to meet her own. She snarled in response to the sword then teleported herself out of the ring of ice. Emma felt the presence behind her before she had even landed. She spun as quickly as her protesting muscles would allow. An arm extended to throw water. It hit just as the black smoke disappeared. The cold shocked her and she stood motionless for two seconds.

Those two seconds gave Emma enough time to shoot magic with one hand. It gripped onto the sword which had yet to touch anywhere other than her shoulder, she gritted her teeth to exert enough energy to hold it in place. The Dark Swan snapped out of the trance. She used magic to grip onto Emma’s throat, whilst working to overpower that used on her sword.

Emma was one step ahead. Using Excalibur, she sliced through the invisible magic and cut it right off. Dark eyes went wide. Emma couldn’t help but smirk as she took two steps forwards and plunged the edge of the sword right into her gut. It went through so far it came out the other end. Both her arms dropped, the collective sword went with it. Arms tensed and aching, Emma held the sword firm. The Dark Swan’s head bowed.

Emma coughed.

Warmth spread on her stomach.

Black smoke surrounded the Dark Swan and she lifted her head with a devilish smirk and a deep chuckle. Emma’s free hand went to her tank top, where it felt as is she were being torn in two. Deep thick red liquid stuck to her palm. She cough again.

Then choked as the blood bubbled up her throat.

Wide terrified green eyes looked to her dark self, almost pleading. Stumbling backwards, the sword which had pierced through the Dark Swan slid out without so much as a scratch. So much for the theory. Both of Emma’s hands pressed to where the blade had cut through her whilst her knees buckled. A shadow towered over her body, where she fell to the side and spluttered up her guts.

A scream followed.

Emma curled in on herself, closed both eyes and heard her name. She had heard that sound before; when Hyde’s hands had gripped Regina’s throat and a vision had hit before she had a chance to save her. Regina had been calling to her, trying to bring her out of the state so she could blast him. Her voice had blurred between present and the vision.

Regina’s voice spread to where there was a mixture of whimpers and chuckles, “Em-maaa!” she yelled, the sound travelling across the town. The next moment she teleported straight to her side. On her knees, one hand went to her shoulder as worried eyes scanned the woman she had fallen so deeply in love with.

“You can’t save her,” a deep voice said from above.

The Dark Swan had been too amused to intervene. The day she had stolen that book, she had informed Regina of a potential plan. Reverse any wounds inflicted on her. It would’ve been easy to waft a hand and snap their necks, but drawing it out would be much more painful for them and more amusing for her to watch. And she had yet to collect Emma’s magic, after all.

“Emma-” Regina shook her shoulder gently, eyes blurred but determined, “listen to my voice, open your eyes.”

Regina pressed a hand to Emma’s stomach, over the blood covered palms Emma hadn’t moved. On a breath, she began to flow as much healing magic as her body could handle. The wound partially healed, just enough for Emma not to be in excruciating pain and on the brink of unconsciousness.

Both eyes opened and she shivered, “R’gina?”

“Shh, don’t speak. Keep your eyes open. I’m going to heel you.” Regina knew the wound was too deep for her to heel her completely and she twisted her head to eye the person stood over them doing…nothing. The heeling magic worked a little more, to the point Emma could breathe without pain.

“Thank you for being so useful. I did very much want her alive to see this-” one wave of her hand saw to it Regina went flying backwards. Emma, now more aware, used her own heeling magic on the wound. She winced in pain when she tried to stand, noticing the sword which had been discarded on the ground. “Did you tell her?”

Regina groaned and pushed herself back onto her feet, “there wasn’t any need to,” she snarled, the sinking hitting her gut as she glanced at Emma shuffling along the ground, “you think you can best me. I know dark ones-” her arms flew out to throw a stream of deep purple magic. Red magic met it in the middle and it clashed and sparked in the air.

The Dark Swan closed both eyes as the magic continued to stream. Both eyes opened and swam in black. Her skin glittered and shone in the moonlight, not even breaking a sweat where Regina struggled to keep her balance. Bringing forth her deepest, darkest voice, “she is going to watch you die,” she said, voice bellowing and echoing throughout the streets.

Emma’s head snapped up.

Regina pushed out every ounce of magic she could withstand. Her body trembled as she tried to match her power. It wasn’t enough. The Dark Swan’s arms flopped to her side, teleporting as the purple magic hit where she had been standing. Emma continued to drag herself along the ground, blood still pouring from her stomach. Throwing her tank top over her head, she pressed it to her stomach and tied it in a knot behind her back. A shiver ran through her, but better be just in a sports bra than risk bleeding out.

Black smoke appeared in front of Regina. Emma was acutely aware as to what was happening, but her mind swam in and out as black dots sparked in her vision. Gritting her teeth, she focused on her destination. Regina gasped. A hand plunged into her chest and pulled out a heart with a mixture of black and red. A cold hand grabbed her by the throat and Regina was forced to scramble her feet to where Emma struggled for breath.

“Regina!” she coughed again, wincing, but dug her nails into the hard ground until she was on all fours. Her stomach burnt, but she moved as quickly as she could, the sight of Regina's heart pumping adrenaline though her body.

“I’m going to take everything you love and hold dear,” she said, giving Regina’s heart a squeeze, “first _her_ ,” she spat, _“_ then I will burn this town to the ground and take your beloved son to the forest, where he _will_ be darker than any of you imagined.”

Regina scratched at the hand around her throat, unable to do much else whilst she winced with each breath she took, “stay…a-a-away…” she squeezed harder, “Em-em…” her throat constricted and her chest protested as fingers clenched her heart. Light faded in and out of her fluttering eyes. With excruciating slowness, those fingers tightened and Regina would’ve screamed if it weren’t for her airwaves being constricted.

“Say goodbye-” her hand squeezed to the point Regina’s heart started to shatter.

A sword pierced into her chest.

Emma stood, one hand gripped onto the end of the sword, the other pushed into her middle. The pain dulled her senses, but Regina became more of a priority. The hand on Regina’s throat fell, along with her heart which fell to the ground. Magic pushed from Regina’s palm to grab onto it and plunge it back into her chest. She grunted at the motion.

The Darn Swan snarled, “you fool,” she said, the blackened smoke filtering into the air and around Emma. The darkness pooled from her body and swirled around the blade, to Emma’s hand then up her arm. Regina looked up and panted on the ground. “No.”

The darkness flew out quicker, surrounding Emma like it had the first time. A chuckle was the last thing she heard before the Dark Swan turned to smoke and flew into Emma. It felt as if she’d thrown her entire body into Emma. She jolted backwards, hand gripping tighter onto the sword. Regina scrambled to her feet, eyes wide in horror as Emma started to spasm as if flickering on a tv screen now the two of them were combining.

Emma’s free arm went out to the side and her head tipped back to welcome the intrusion. It merged into her blood and coiled around her mind. Each inch of skin sparked and her hair turned white. The black smoke and darkness grew larger on the outside, creating a tornado around it’s victim.

“Emma-” Regina took a step forwards for hardened eyes to jolt her in place. She stood, motionless, wondering if they were going to have to save Emma from the darkness all over again.

The smoke and darkness closed in on Emma, until it attached itself to her body and seeped into her veins. The glittering skin paled and her head fell forwards, body covered in the dark one armour. Shoulders slumping forwards as if holding a huge weight, her hand tightened around the sword as writing scraped its surface; _Emma Swan,_ it read and Regina’s heart stopped.

The darkness couldn’t seize to exist.

The reality hit as that chuckle filtered into the air. The barrier they’d placed around the town fell. Emma yanked the bun from her hair and let the knotted hair cascade around her face. Every pent-up emotion and buried scar lifted to the surface. She tipped her head back and screamed. Birds fluttered at the noise and Regina recoiled.

Her chest shuddered, “Emma-” she lifted a shaking arm, still feeling the effects of having her heart squeezed until she’d been close to death.

Emma’s head snapped side wards. With rigid movements, as if she were made of cardboard, she stalked closer to Regina. Battles raced inside her mind. Whereas before there had been the saviour and the dark one, they now conflicted together. They fought for dominance with each step Emma took.

Regina took a pace backwards. Then another as Emma matched. Her hands clenched by her sides and she told herself to get a grip; this was Emma. She continued to flinch and flicker and even hit the side of her head. It terrified her. The first time the curse had settled within Emma, it had stayed dormant, only pushing outwards for each time Emma would access it. This time it had been allowed its own life force. One which fought inside Emma and whispered seductive nothings in her ear.

The wound which had been causing Emma pain healed at the rate of a dark one. It had all but gone by the time she had made a few more steps closer to Regina. She bent in two, hand going around her waist, “I’ll end you,” a dark voice called, one which had Emma snap her head up and look at Regina with fear in her eyes. For a moment, the words shocked them both. Emma trembled, “h-help…me-” her head fell back down.

Regina took a step closer, for the darkness to take a hold of her again. With the sword still in her hand, she swung it Regina’s way. She created a barrier just in time to stop it slashing her side. Conflicted, Regina glanced at Excalibur, teleported to its location and grabbed it. She wouldn’t hurt Emma, but until she could get her under control, there was no telling what this Emma would do.

Emma spun and their swords clashed. She growled and extended her shoulders to push her sword against Regina, who stumbled backwards. A high pitch giggle followed at Regina’s flushed cheeks, stuck up hair and overall dishevelled look, “you can’t beat me, dear.”

The giggle startled Regina and she took a good look at Emma. Those white eyes rolled into the back of her head and she swung the sword without aim. Regina easily hit it and jumped to the side, “come on, Emma. I know you’re in there. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Emma…Emma…I’m Emma-” she came back to and danced on the spot, then took a step back, bent her knee and bowed at the waist, “glad to make your acquaintance. Now-” standing back up her eyes darted around as people began to make their way to the scene, “all these peasants-” one hand went to cover her mouth and she giggled again. Those people were her friends and neighbours, “peasants,” she muttered and laughed harder.

Regina frowned and thought Emma had lost it. “Emma,” she spat, “now is not the time for that outrageous humour. Get over here and tell me what’s going on in that thick head of yours.” She was acting very much like…the dark one and Regina rolled her eyes; she refused to deal with Emma like this. Fighting she could deal with, but she would be infuriating and cocky and as bad as Rumpelstiltskin had been on his most infuriating days.

“Your majesty-” Emma tipped her head to the side and stifled another giggle. Her palm opened, raised in line with her chest to reveal a fire ball, “oh…look-” her eyes squinted as she moved it closer, “look what I can do…I didn’t need you, your help, nope…no I-” she threw it at a shell-shocked Regina who threw magic up to block it.

The darkness took a firm grip and Emma sombered. Her nostrils flared, “queen of nothing,” she spat as if Regina was something she would trample on with her foot. Their swords hit again and they were a blur of fast movements and clanking metal.

Emma’s mind continued to swirl and conflict with different instincts. The only reason Regina remained alive was because Emma’s motivations ranged back and forth. If the darkness would hold on for long enough, Emma was certain she would hurtle Regina into the air, take out her heart and crush it in one swift motion. The saviour fought against the urge and somewhere underneath those layers, was Emma without either of those roles. She shivered and wanted it all to stop, but something moved her arm and tried to get that sword where the darkness wanted it.

People surrounded them as they fought. Regina grew tired but continued to defend without ever attacking in reverse. Their swords hit together and the metal scraped as they slid. The bottom of the swords touched, hands only inches apart from where white knuckles gripped the handles. They were nose to nose and Emma stared into Regina’s eyes with so much hate she almost moved away.

“Emma,” she said, determined and reminding herself this wasn’t the Emma Swan she knew, the curse twisted her mind and she wouldn’t give up because of anything, “hear me. I love you. Stop this. We’ll find a way. We can save you.”

“What is it with you people and saving? No one cared about me. All they ever wanted from me was saving. No matter the cost to me.” Emma shoved her, dropped her sword to the ground and Regina hesitated then did the same. She had no desire to hurt Emma and if she was unarmed than she would be too. Emma gripped Regina’s shirt and pulled her so breath tickled their faces. “I. Am. Done.”

Regina stared into her eyes, saw the wrinkles around them and couldn’t tell which part of Emma was speaking. All of her, perhaps or the saviour which was tired or the darkness which spoke a semblance of truth.

“You can be done,” she said softly, “I’ll always love you.”

For a moment, the darkness lowered and Emma came to the surface, “Regina,” she whispered and her head started to shake, “I can’t…hold it…I c-can’t-” her eyes squeezed then she stilled and upon opening them they were black.

Regina was at a loss. Her hands moved up Emma’s arms until they cupped her neck softly. “I’m not giving up on you,” she whispered then leant in until their lips touched in a light kiss. The momentary brush of their lips had Emma jerk her head upwards and capture them again. The sparkling skin began to alter, as if being washed away now their lips moved against each others’.

“Regina-” Emma sighed, gaining more and more control for every second they kissed. The fingers gripping the material moved until Emma could wrap her arms tightly around Regina’s body. They kissed and kissed, the whiteness to Emma’s hair going back to its usual blonde. She went back to wearing leggings and a tank top. Regina was tugged off the ground and wrapped both legs around Emma’s waist. They kissed as if their lives depended on it.

In that moment, with a town surrounding them and their family present, a blast of purple and yellow shone from between them. Everyone else fell away. It pushed out throughout the town and replaced the darkness the Dark Swan had left in her wake. Emma felt the curse shatter inside. She smiled and chuckled into Regina’s open mouth, not stopping for anything or anyone.

Kissing Regina was everything she had ever anticipated and more. It sent waves to the pit of her stomach and demanded she get closer. Everything around them faded and the more they kissed the more the part of Emma which had been destroyed, shattered and worse, fell back into place. A small residue of darkness remained, the amount she should’ve had in the first place. The curse and the saviour had been destroyed and for the first time, she felt whole.

“Moms!” Henry yelled as he broke free from his grandparents’ grasp, jogging towards them.

Regina’s legs slid from around Emma’s waist. Once her feet were planted on the ground she looked directly at Emma’s smiling face.

“Hi,” she said and for a moment, Regina remained in utter disbelief, “so…we…erm…”

“Yeah-” Regina chuckled a little, unsure what she was supposed to do next, “how do you feel?”

Emma’s eyes sparkled, “like me,” she whispered as Henry finally reached them.

He dived into their arms and squeezed his arms tight, “you did it.” He hadn’t witnessed it all, by the time they had left the loft after a feeling in their gut told them not to stay away, the only thing they had seen was them kissing. It was the one and only time Henry didn’t wrinkle his nose and comment on how gross it was. His mothers loved each other and he couldn’t be happier.

He pulled back and they both checked him over. Once that was all well and good they glanced between their son and each other, uncertain.

“Of course we did, Henry-” Regina’s eyes flickered to Emma, “did you ever doubt us?”

“Nope. We always win. It’s our family trait-” he shrugged, because after everything they had been through, it was the only thing which made sense. Perhaps it wasn’t due to a hero status, but determination, hope and love. “We’re stronger together. You guys taught me that.”

“Yeah, we are kid-” she bit her lip and looked to Regina, “I think the saviour has gone.”

“What?” Regina frowned and looked between the two of them, “what do you mean? How could you possibly know that?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t feel it. I think it went when we err…broke the dark one curse.” That was going to get some getting used to. Emma had only just accepted her feelings and here they were sharing true loves kiss in the middle of the town.

“I didn’t know that was possible.” Regina had never considered it to have its own way of existing, but she supposed it wasn’t a natural part of Emma. Perhaps it was a curse in and of itself. One which meant Emma had to give and give and give, until there was nothing left to take. “I’m glad its gone,” she said with determination, “you don’t deserve to have to deal with everyone's happy endings anymore.”

Henry shrugged and took a step back from his mothers, the two of them doing the same from each other. He had to roll his eyes at them, though he did suppose they’d been doing it for so long it had become a habit. “Maybe it’s like operation cobra, but part two.”

Emma frowned, a small distance between herself and Regina which begged to be closed. “What do you mean, kid?”

“Well,” he looked between his two mothers, wondering why it was left to him to figure out, “operation cobra was you bringing back the happy endings and this is the part where you get _your_ happy ending.”

“I-” her eyes welled, “it doesn’t feel much like an ending.” If this was an ending, she didn’t want it or she wanted this moment to be frozen in time so she could remain…happy, forever.

“No,” Regina said on a shaky breath, eyes welling and she reached for Emma’s hand and intertwined their fingers, “it feels more like a beginning.”

“A happy beginning.” Emma made eyes with Regina, suddenly bursting to the brim with emotion as Henry took a hold of her other hand. This was her family, the one thing she had wanted her entire life. Her bottom lip trembled as she looked to Regina, “I love you.”

Regina squeezed her palm, grabbed onto Henry’s and looked between the two people she loved most in the world. “I love you too.”

They were in each other’s arms the next minute, Henry sandwiched between the two of them. It hadn’t been what they'd expected. This wasn’t fate or destiny, the saviour was supposed to defeat the Evil Queen, not fall in love with her. Not that it mattered. The happy endings had been restored and now the saviour and the Evil Queen could be put to rest, because what mattered now was Emma and Regina and Henry. They all walked to 108 Mifflin, where a happy beginning was theirs.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've made it this far, thanks so much for reading! I do hope you've enjoyed it. Let me know what you think :)


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